A Timeline

Posted: August 17, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Does history bore anyone else? Dates? Timelines? A billion Johns and Henrys? Blech. I hated every class. It never clicked with me. It also didn’t help that I always ended up with a teacher that had a vendetta against me. Which, I don’t blame her. She had to put up with me and my best friend, Thomas, chatting incessantly and corralling our other friend Derek to bust out in a ballerina dance mid-lecture randomly through the year. Good times. Good times. *sigh of nostalgia*

Despite not loving history, I can’t deny that history does teach us a lot. It can help direct us in the future. And I think that applies to our personal histories and lives as well. So, I’m going to play a little timeline game. See what I can learn. And help those new faces I have seen popping up around here get to know me a little better too. ;)

*Twilight Zone music may commence now*

10 Years Ago..

Senior in high school. Recovering from the worst accident of my life (being hit by a car as a pedestrian). In the crazy, tumultuous on/off again relationship that lasted 8 years. Overall, pretty happy and took things one day at a time. PS – I know I’m a young mom.

7 Years Ago…

source

I had my first binge after four months of controlling my emotions through food restriction and excessive workouts. I ate an entire box of Pop Tarts and I think half a jar of peanut butter. Maybe more? And then binges happened at least once a week for a long time. I struggled with my relationship with my father more than ever. I contemplated suicide on a daily basis and made three attempts.

5 Years Ago..

I met this man. He helped me set aside my pain, guilt, and anger with myself to give faith in something outside myself a shot again. Then, I fell in love with Jesus. I fell in love with myself again. And my life has ever improved since that time.

3 Years Ago…

I taught high school Spanish. I felt excitement at the impending arrival of my first child. I had finally overcome the hold binging had on me by growing in my faith and seeing my body for what it could do over how it looked. I still wanted something more, though.

2 Years Ago…

I trained for and entered a fitness competition. I thought that achieving that goal would fulfill me on some level. Instead, it brought me back closer to some of the unhealthy habits I had fought so hard to break. I then battled the emotions of having to gain weight quickly in order to conceive baby B. I also first learned about blogging at this time and decided to give it a shot after awhile.

1 Year Ago…

I was going through life – pregnant and uncomfortable, but genuinely happy and blessed. And anxious at knowing more awaited me just around the bend.

Today…

I almost feel like Julia Roberts in Notting Hill. You know the part? I’m just a girl…standing in front of a boy…asking him to love her. I feel you, Julia. I feel you.

I’m just a girl…writing out my thoughts…wondering why people care to read them.

I’m just a girl…mothering her two children…while still caring for herself.

I’m just a girl...seeking God’s guidance…so I don’t make a mess of this thing called life.

I’m just a girl…opening up to others…trying to surround myself with love.

I’m just a girl…finding a way to balance…but still slipping up sometimes and that’s okay.

I’m just a girl…realizing a lot can happen in a decade…and not wanting it any other way.

And a decade from now? I hope I’m still just a girl…taking it day by day…and enveloped in the love, passions, friendships, hobbies, and good food that I find in my days today.

  • What was your life like 1, 5, 10 years ago? What do you think/hope your life will look like another 10 years from now?

 
68 Comments to “A Timeline”
  1. I love this! Gah, I miss the blog world so very much during this busy time in my life, and I’ve certainly missed your motivational words! Love ya, girl! xo

  2. Jess says:

    I love this, Tina. You know why? Because you sound so so so happy and comfortable being YOU and the wonderful YOU that you’ve grown into the past ten years you’ve outlined for us here. So fun to look back at how far you’ve come isn’t it?

  3. Lisa says:

    Thank you for sharing such personal things.

    10 years ago – I was 21 years old, broke up with a boyfriend I lived with and moved back home for the summer. It was a harsh, painful summer filled with eating, grieving and depression. I worked 2 full time jobs for four months to save money to move out on my own again and I did it.

    5 years ago – I was 26 and weighed over 250 pounds. I’d just gotten home from a vacation in Chicago, surprised at the photos I saw of myself. It was time to make a change and that’s when I started to lose weight.

    1 year ago – I was running the Hood To Coast Relay race and celebrating my 2nd anniversary with my boyfriend Michael and the 2nd anniversary of maintaining my 100 pound weight loss!

  4. Ten years ago I was a sophomore in highschool… five years ago, a junior in college – thinking I’d be a biochemist or go to med school! 1 year ago I passed my RD exam and laughed when my boyfriend told me we would get married soon. Now my wedding is 17 days away!

    I love reading about your journey!

  5. Awesome post, Tina! So so so good!

  6. Rebecca says:

    This is so great (as usual)! :D

    10 years ago: 10 years old!! (Also Monsters Inc apparently came out that year)
    5 years ago: 15 years old! Probably finishing up Driver’s Ed.
    1 year ago: Getting ready for my sophomore year of college.
    Today: Freaking out over moving to a new city and a new school in a week. Heh.

  7. Tina, that. Was. Beautiful. I always look forward to reading your posts because they are so heartfelt, honest, and meaningful. Keep ‘em coming! :)

  8. What a beautiful post. I loved reading about your journey to where you are today. I’m so glad to see how far you’ve come and what a blessing that you are in such a great place right now. Keep doing what you’re doing!

  9. Errign says:

    I.love.this.post.

    Tina – you are amazing.

  10. I loved this post! you look amazing! I have no idea what I’ll be like in years to come :)

  11. heather says:

    Great post! History was my favorite subject in school and yo teach so I can’t relate There. Love the high school cheerleading picture!

  12. 10 years ago- I was 11 years old, feeling awkward about my self image….happy, but unaware of just how insecure I was.

    5 years ago- I was 16 years old. Driving, experimenting with all sort of things in high school. I met my boyfriend of five years, Michael. Loving life in high school.

    1 Year ago- 20 years old. Started reading healthy living blogs, gaining confidence, happy to be me. No longer concerned with impressing anyone but myself.

    Thanks for this Tina. This was such a nice reflection to see how far I have come. Hugs to you.

  13. Cindy says:

    10 years ago-just graduated from graduate school (I forget how young you are!)
    5 years ago-had just left my career in physical therapy to venture into sales…and had recently met the man of my dreams (although I didn’t quite know it yet)
    1 year ago-enjoying my 4 day old baby!

  14. fun fun fun to read! it’s so awesome to see where you’ve been and where you are today–makes you wonder where you will be in another 10!

  15. Love you, Tina! That’s all I wanted to say! :)

  16. That was such an amazing, real, honest and beautiful post!
    You’re a rockstar girlie!

    xoxo from Trinidad

  17. Awesome blog, Tina! You deserve all the happiness and love you have in your life, and more.
    As a new follower, I love hearing more about you. Inspirational!

  18. Isn’t it crazy how much can change in ten years?!? I guess the ten years from 18 to 28 are pretty big ones, though– LOTS of change in there for me too!!

  19. Love this post! You pretty much rock.

    10 years ago I was just about to start high school, so I was most likely dancing every day. OH and this summer 10 years ago I got the worst haircut Of. my. life. I still cringe about it… UGH. Subsequintly I have since been terrified of getting my haircut and only now that I have someone I can trust do I go more than once a year.
    5 years ago I met my husband
    1 year ago I was living in Cali hating my job and I never thought I would be living in Utah with a new job

  20. Tina- this post is beautiful. You enve cease to amaze me. Who knows where I’ll be 10 years from now. It worries me on a daily basis as I gave up my full-time job for my boys. God has something in the works for me I’m sure. It’s just uhard putting faith in him and diving into the unknown. :)

  21. Hilary says:

    Awww…thanks for sharing! I just watched Notting Hill for the first time last weekend, funnily enough. One year ago, I had accepted a job I didn’t want and was miserable all summer until I finally turned it down. 5 years ago, I had just been a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding, and was really insecure about how overweight I was. Today, I am healthy, and happier than I’ve been in a long time – enjoying blogging, summer, and life in general!

  22. Brittany says:

    I love how your posts are always so real and open! I look forward to reading them, they’re inspiring :)

  23. Mellissa says:

    Funny to think about how much life changes! I am not one to dwell on the past but I can tell you that I really want the next 1, and 10 years to be filled with my passions, surrounded by people I love and with a great sense of accomplishment about living a life on my terms.

  24. 10 years ago- trusting God would provide as I quit my teaching job at the end of the school year.

    5 years ago – had a 6 month, not happy with life, and I would fall short of saying I was depressed

    1 year ago – have a 2 year old and and 4 year old…pretty healthy…lost a lot of weight. Overall happy but still don’t like the way I look (my stomach)

    Today – getting ready to send my daughter to kindergarten and home with my son. Still not happy with how my stomach looks but I have maintained an 80lb weight loss!

    • Tina says:

      An 80 lb weight loss is pretty freaking phenomenal!!!! You should be so proud of that…and especially on getting past tough emotions and caring for your little ones. :)

  25. Michelle says:

    I am a young mom too:) I can relate there!
    Oh my I don’t know what is with me today but this made me emotional reading this! You are such an incredible woman! I hope to achieve the same level of self love that you have!

  26. Kelly says:

    Oh such a great post, Tina. You are such a star!

  27. jobo says:

    Wow, I never read the post about your dad until now. So sad and mad for you that I just wanted to punch your father. Wow. I have no words for that type of behavior. But your post today? Beaming. With pride, love, happiness. I LOVE that. I am so happy you are in such a solid place in your life. as for me? almost one year ago….coming up fast, I met M. and the rest is fast becoming history :)

  28. Mandy says:

    Loved this :) I can’t believe it has been 3 years since our girls were in our bellies. For real!

    10 years ago today… I was getting ready to go college. I had just met my future husband. I was about to enter the hardest year of my life where I was very depressed and gained 60 pounds.

    5 years ago today… I was really happy–freshly married to Jerry :) We bought our first house together and were trying to find where we fit in this place called life.

    3 years ago today–About to give birth to the best baby girl ever ;)

    2 years ago today–Photography business really started taking off :) Comfy in my body for the first time in a long time!

  29. I LOVE this. You have so much to be proud of and thankful for!

  30. Mwahhhh girl I love you!!!! This is beautiful. First of all, you are a GORGEOUS ladaaay, especially when you are preggers! Look at that glow!

    I’ve been through hard times as well, and wow — an eight-year relationship — since 5th grade??

    • Tina says:

      Oh..no. We were 8 years on/off again through high school and all of college. Nope. Not 5th grade. I actually saw him the night before I met Peter and had to tell him off that I was done with him. Then, perfect timing, I meet the perfect guy for me.

  31. Oh I love this!! I love it alot!
    10 years ago I was at the very beginning of a really awful relationship that lasted for way too long. I was all in love and foolish and refused to listen to any of my friends when they told me to walk away.
    5 years ago I was just getting out of said relationship. I was broken and devastated and didnt think I could possibly get by without him.
    1 year ago I started seriously saving up so I could go back to school.
    Today I am happy, single, and getting ready for school to start in September. :)

  32. I love your blog! You are so honest and inspiring!

  33. Aw I love your pictures and you were such a cute cheerleader :) You look so gorgeous in the 3 yrs ago pregnant picture!!

  34. Tina, thanks so much for sharing this. You are an inspiration. I wish I knew the things you know when I was your age. Took me a lot longer to learn life’s lessons. I guess the good thing is, you’re never too old to learn. Your family is so lucky to have you.

  35. I love this! Happy endings exist, even if they’re not actually “the end” of anything. :) I guess I’ve been about the same as ever, just happier.

  36. Love this post! It’s so cool to see where your life has taken you!

    10 years ago: I was scared silly at the prospect of starting middle school in like 10 days (I’m a young’un in this blogging community!)
    5 years ago: About to start my senior year of high school. Spending every free second of my life researching and applying to colleges.
    1 year ago: SUPER sad that my summer was about to end and absolutely dreading going back for my junior year of college.
    Today: Soooooo ready to get back to school for senior year. Mildly sad that summer’s just about over, but not like I was last year.

    10 years from now, I see myself in the mirror :P Haha, but really. I’ll be freaking old, and I’m sure a ton will have changed in my life by that point, but I honestly have not the foggiest idea what will be happening by then. While I totally think goal setting is awesome, I try to not plan that far into the future, other than major goals (like full time employment would be awesome haha). I feel like so many unexpected things happen in life that planning that far ahead in too much detail isn’t useful, at least not when you’re in as transition-y of a part of life as I am.

  37. I love this! It’s so inspiring to see someone who’s found their happy place- you’re proof that things can fall into place and everyone can live a healthy, fulfilling life :)

  38. Coco says:

    Love your look-back!
    1 year ago I was visiting my daughter at her new college.
    I can’t think of anything remarkable about 5 years ago!
    10 years ago I was in Paris with my husband–in the world before 9/11.

    P.S. I was a “young mother” too (married at 20, had my daughter at 23) and now that I have friends in their 40s having babies, I am glad I can sleep through the night! ;-)

    • Tina says:

      Haha! Love that last bit about being able to sleep through the night. ;)

      And crazy to think 9/11 was 10 years ago, huh?!

  39. Loved this Tina. From hating history & even having a teacher who was out to get me to all the changes over the past 10 years, I HEAR YA!
    10 yrs ago I was a freshman in college missing my bf at home, having a horrendous time with my 1st yr roomates/friends.
    5 yrs ago I was a month away from marrying that same bf and moving my entire life to FL to be with him.
    A year ago, we had moved back to NY, passed up job changes/opportunities and I was feeling pretty crappy about life in general not knowing what would make me happy.
    Today however, it’s like this past year has put things in perspective and I know what I want, professionally & personally.
    I think our 20′s are just such a time of growth all around and it’s hard to find ourselves and know exactly what we want when we’re so young. I finally feel like I understand when people say your 30′s are the best of your life. Things have finally started to come together in my 29th year. Amazing what can happen in a decade.

  40. Love this!

    10 years ago I was finishing grad school, 5 years ago I had a 6 week old baby, and 3 years ago I feeling nauseous and pregnant. So crazy how time flies!!

    I wish I was a “younger” mom. I had Braeden when I was 28. I feel like I will be so old by the time he hits high school!

  41. Kendra says:

    Hmmm…ten years ago I was newly pregnant with first baby, just married for almost a year, so excited and scared about becoming a mommy.
    Five years ago had my third and last baby, just started getting into fitness and eating more healthy.
    I year ago…in deep with the struggle against food rules, restrictions, bingeing, guilt, more rules, repeat. Finally opening up and admitting my need for help, begging God to heal me and save me from myself.
    Today…seeing light and hope more and more, trying to find balance between faith, fitness, my family, and enjoying life instead of striving for perfection. Tough road, but worth it to not give up.
    Love your heart, and appreciate everything you share.
    Excited to make those coffee brownies soon!
    Kendra

  42. Kate says:

    10 years ago- I was 10! I was going into 5th grade (rip Mr.B) and September 11th is just around the corner. I can’ t believe it’s been 10 years. I remember it like it was yesterday.

    5 years ago- i was in the beginning of highschool. Having a blast, playing sports, dating boys, eating whatever i felt like without concern because my metabolism was still in overdrive. Worrying slightly about my looks, but no more than a healthy teenage girl.

    1 Year ago- I was just out of a relationship on and off for 3 years and almost 7 years of friendship. Entering my sophomore year of college with a binge eating problem and no sense of self control. I was the heaviest weight I’ve ever been at. I was turning down end of summer beach trips due to a bad body image. I couldnt see past myself in the mirror and felt alone and scared of the creation of this habit.

    Today- It took about a year of weeks on and weeks off of binging and exercising and restriction to finally realize that the yo-yo rollercoaster ride I was on can only be stopped if I truly put my heart into it. It’s a battle I need to believe that I can win. This blog helps me immensely so thank you for your honesty and strength. About two seconds ago I just had one too many pb chip brownies, but i’m strong enough to slap my own hand to stop, know that it’s okay to indulge, and move past it. I’m also training for my first half marathon in oct.!

    A decade from now- I hope to be a medical doctor of some sort, and hopeful starting a family?! Or I could be thirty flirty and thrrrrriving. Woot, woooot! (worse could happen)!

    • Tina says:

      I don’t think I realized 9/11 was 10 years ago for some reason. Wow. And you have certainly come a long way I can tell from your words. Just imagine what another year will do. :)

  43. ahhhhhhhh this was soooo inspiring and heart warming Tina!! Praise God that nothing happened to you as you tried to leave this life!!! He is so good…..If it weren’t for Him, I wouldn’t be reading these words right now. I love you Tina!

  44. Great post! So inspiring :) . Isn’t it crazy to think about how we were in the past? 1 year ago I was moving to Boston and getting ready to start grad school. 5 years ago I had just graduated from high school. I thought I was really happy, but now looking back on it I’m pretty sure that I wasn’t. 10 years from now I hope to have a family of my own, and I hope to be comfortable in my skin and not so worried about how I look.

  45. I cried reading this post, Tina. What a great one. I knew about your struggles with bingeing and depression but never realized you had three suicide attempts. I have had two times where I had laid out the plan myself and two years ago almost to the day I was hospitalized in a mental health hospital for that. I am SO happy for you that you are where you are today. I hope I can get there too. I fight so hard and I can always see growth as I look back each year. God bless you!

  46. Karolina says:

    History was always my favorite subject in school. In fact, if I hadn’t done psychology in undergrad, I would’ve gotten my bachelor’s in history! Spanish on the other hand…. I always struggled with…

    This was such a fantastic post to read. Thank you for sharing.

  47. Khushboo says:

    I hated history too but this type of history was defo up my alley! Loved learning more about u and the last “I’m just a girl” bit gave me goosebumps!

  48. You are so brave for sharing your story! My birthday is in a few days so I was just thinking about what I did on my birthday 5 and 10 years ago…makes me REALLY appreciate where I am in my life today and how much I’ve grown as a person and as a Christian. I love myself more than ever and I now know that I deserve the kind of love that I get from my fiance. Thank you so much for sharing :)

  49. Once again you inspire me and pull on my heart strings. Thank you for sharing and being so open about yourself, your trials, and your accomplishments. Truly, you are awesome.

  50. I ADORE this post. I’ve been reading FFF for about a year now, but I feel like I was able to get to know you even better after this post Tina :) Love this (and you!)

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