My Irrational Fear

Posted: September 12, 2011 at 6:56 am

This post is a pretty serious one. If you’re looking for more light hearted reading this fine Monday morning, check these out from the weekend:

I like to think of myself as a positive person. I trust that God loves, cares, and provides for me. I have faith in His plans. I believe in hope and generally approach life with an optimistic point of view. With the exception of one thing – my irrational fear.

With Peter out of town this weekend, I found myself engulfed by my irrational fear, just as I do anytime he goes away. Anytime he runs late without letting me know. Anytime I get behind the wheel of my car.  Anytime I see some changes in a mole or freckle.

I spent Friday night bawling like a baby at times on the couch while watching NBC’s special on 9/11. The testimonies, especially those of women who had young children and suddenly faced single motherhood, really hit me hard. I get this overwhelming pit in my gut that I will face something similar one day. 

I don’t know why I’m such a pessimist in this way, but for as long as I can remember I have had this almost instinctual feeling that I will one day lose someone very near and dear to me unexpectedly from a bad accident or incurable illness – Peter or one of my kids – or that I will experience one myself and have to leave them behind.

I don’t quite know where this irrational fear comes from, but I can never seem to fully shake it. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s always buried somewhere inside of me to come out when I’m vulnerable. Like when I don’t have Peter around or when hearing other women’s testimonies of such things as 9/11. I just sit there and think “could I ever survive something like that?”.

I know those thoughts and worries are nothing compared to the heartache others go through in reality (not just inside their nightmares), but I needed to share the emotional mess I felt this weekend. I guess I know how much pain life can bring as I felt it in previous parts of my life. I almost wonder how things can be so good now….and how it could possibly last forever. 

I don’t quite know where I’m going with this post. I know it’s pretty depressing and I apologize for laying it on all of you. But if there is one thing I do, it is write what is on my heart and my irrational fear weighed on me a lot this weekend.

And because optimism is what I try to do, I can at least see some good coming from this deep gut feeling I can’t seem to shake – It makes me pray for my family’s safety and health every day. It makes me cherish the time I have with them because we truly never know how long it may last. And it helps me know that I don’t have control over everything, only He does…and even when we don’t understand, His control is for the greater good.

  • Do you have any irrational fears or worries?
  • How do you vent the things you feel you HAVE to get out of your thoughts? Obviously I blog mine out. I promise to be back with my more upbeat attitude later!

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92 Comments to “My Irrational Fear”
  1. Seriously, we were mae for each other. First of all, John was out of town this weekend too, so we were both single ladies this weekend. And second, I already fear something like this, so I can’t even imagine what it woul be like to have two kids and be having those thoughts. I get so nervouse, especially because my husband can be ::ahem:: wreckless at moments. Every single time I saw a 9/11 recap this weekend, I couln’t help but feel so immensely saddened for all the women who lost their husbands an for all the children who lost their daddies.

  2. Khushboo says:

    Wow, that’s a lot to reveal but I am sure you aren’t alone with that fear. For the longest time, I used to get a sinking feeling in my gut when a friend/family member would travel especially after 9/11. I know technology has advanced and crashes are unlikely (touchwood) but there was always a ‘what if’ thought running in my hand. Especially after suddenly losing my dad 3 years ago, the thought of losing any loved one petrifies me- I rather give up my own life than deal with death like that again.

    Usually writing down a fear/concern (typically in an email to a friend) is itself very calming! Thinking of you Tina, and thanks for the reminder to take more time to cherish the present :)

  3. Stephanie says:

    I always worry about the people close to me. I remember being a little girl and sitting in the hall closet shaking because my dad had gone to pick up something to eat and it was taking him too long to get home. I was SURE that he’d been in a car accident.

    My husband’s in the military. He flies in small planes. He also rides a motorcycle. Yeah, I worry. All the time. I can only imagine how much harder it is when you have small children.

    I always tell myself that people with big hearts worry more!

    • Tina says:

      Peter rides a motorcycle sometimes too. If he’s ever late when he’s driving it I get SO freaked out much easier than normal.

  4. Heather says:

    I think that these fears immediately set in for me when I became pregnant and had my son. They faded for a bit, but when he was in the hospital last Christmas they came back full force. We just want to protect the ones we love (and sucks that we really have no control)!!

  5. lindsay says:

    oh Tina, i am the same way. When my husband is away or racing, i getting that irrational fear. But then I remember that fear and worry is satan creeping in. We are stronger than that. God is sovereign and he wants us to lift those anxious thoughts up to him. like you said….pray
    love you so much. <3

  6. Claire says:

    I know exactly how you feel & I think its a rational fear in this world. You’ve got the right attitude though- cherish the moments you have and try to let go of the (non existent) control you’re grasping onto with your fear/worry. Trust that what is meant to happen will and that someone powerful is taking care of you. Plus- you never know your own strength until its really needed!
    I love how honest you posts are. Thank you for sharing your life with us xxx

  7. Kelly says:

    I have the same irrational fear whenever Keith goes away. But mine is bad…like if he is running to the store and I think it is taking him too long…I freak out. I am always scared of being left behind by him. And Keith is 11 years older than me so I get really freaked out by that.

  8. Holly @ The Runny Egg says:

    Tina seriously I have these same thoughts from time to time. I don’t know where they come from either, but it truly is scary. I remind myself that God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle, and if something like that were to happen, I know I would need to turn to him for help and guidance. I’m not sure if that is comforting at all, but it has helped me get over those feelings when they arise.

  9. Jill says:

    I so appreciate your honesty and how you share your life with us. I have similar fears too. My husband travels a lot with work- and it does not get any easier for me when he is away. I worry that something bad will happen to him while he is gone. I just don’t feel like I have what it takes to take care of everything alone. We are a team and I would be devastated without my husband.
    When I have to get thoughts out I like to go for a LONG bike ride, pedal hard and fast and sweat it out!!!
    Again- thank you for letting us see all of you! It makes it easier for me to let others see all of me!

    • Tina says:

      That’s exactly how I feel too. I don’t think I could handle it all on my own and I would be at a loss without him because we do make such a good team. Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way sometimes.

  10. girl, i know exactly what you mean…i’ve had that feeling before too. and if i’m being honest i LET myself have that feeling sometimes. but one thing my best friend told me when i had my miscarriage earlier this year was that our baby…and her baby for that matter…both belong to God first and foremost. Our husbands belong to God before anyone else. we just get to love and ‘borrow’ them for a while til they go home to Jesus. i don’t know if that helps, but there is truth in it that helps set my thoughts free when i start to get down and scared about losing someone i love!

  11. Lee says:

    I get really nervous when Jason goes out with friends without me or comes home from work late or doesn’t answer his phone. I become convinced that something has happened to him.

  12. Wow, I get the same feeling. I honestly thought I was the only person that felt this way. Thank u for sharing and hopefully realizing that we are not alone helps to not feel this way, think positively and pray for our family’s safety.

  13. I don’t think this is irrational in the least. Perhaps a fear of alien abduction might be irrational but the thought of losing someone we love–something we know, unfortunately, can happen–is a real fear that I think you are right to acknowledge. I am terrified of my parents dying. I am also terrified that once we have children, my husband’s heart issue will act up. I’ve even told him “if you’re going to die young, you better do it before we have kids!” I say that tongue in cheek but I can relate to your fears. I think the important thing is to acknowledge them and then to not let them take over our lives or our thoughts–the whole “you can’t stop a bird from flying over your head but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair” kind of thing. You have a beautiful family and they are lucky to have you!

  14. I am so glad I am not the only one that feels this way. I am often terrified I am going to lose someone I love- lately it has been this horrible idea of losing my sister and parents. It literally brings tears to my eyes everytime I think of it because I could not imagine life without them. I don’t know where this comes from either (well, both of my parents have survived cancer so that’s part of it), but it is so hard. I’m not sure there is a resolution to these irrational thoughts, but I’d love to find some peace of mind one day.

  15. I know exactly what you mean. Jon traveled to China last summer and was there for three weeks. The flights were the worst. Rationally, I know that driving is far less safe than flying. Irrationally, I prefer my husband with both feet on the ground. Add a 13 hour flight? Yikes.

    I get this way when I can’t reach him for a while, but I should be able to. It’s a little bit nutty, but I just love that man of mine. So I know exactly what you mean.

  16. Haley says:

    It looks like we all have those fears in common! We’re human. Death is inevitable – which is why I don’t fear as much and continually pray for the Lord to return before my family members and/or me have to face it!

    I think fear is normal, natural, and at times, even necessary. It can bring about humility, and total dependence on the Lord. I was challenged 2 years ago in a women’s Bible study by a precious lady (we call her the Beth Moore of Chattanooga!) who asked, “If you lost everything, and it was just you and the Lord, would He be enough?” I had a hard time with that one, but over the course of that year, I surrendered. I can now say, even though it could – would – be beyond imaginable to live without my precious husband and children, if I was left on earth with just the Lord, He is/would be enough.

  17. Tina, you are not alone. I have the same exact fear. Somewhere in the back of my head I’m always thinking – nothing too horrible has happened to me or my family yet, what’s the one thing that will happen that’s going to turn my world upside down. Whenever that thought creeps into my head, I try to remember something my mom always tells me, “God only gives you what you can handle.” Since I can’t predict the future or prevent something horrible from happening, I try to have faith in that thought…it’s hard but I try.

    Have a great day! I’m so glad you share what’s in your heart. I know it’s probably hard for you to do, but I definitely believe you are helping so many people by being so open. Thanks for that!

  18. jobo says:

    I honestly think this fear is ingrained in almost everyone, whether we admit it or not. I feel this way too, not to the extent that you do (perhaps when I am a mom, I will!), but I feel it too. I am sorry you are feeling this way right now and I hope you can dig deep in your faith, as you always do so well, and the fear will wane. XOXO

  19. I have the same fear with family, friends, and my boyfriend – I can’t imagine having that fear with a husband and children! I have lost a couple friends and have seen what their families have gone through, and I just can’t imagine the pain and how strong you have to be to handle it. It is so, so sad to think about. But on a happier note – we are so blessed to still have our families right now and every moment together should be appreciated! <3

  20. Rebecca says:

    I so appreciate your honesty. All this weekend, the anniversary of 9/11, I’ve been saddened by the reality of evil and pain and death in this world. Makes me so grateful that we were made for another world! Our hope isn’t here…it’s in God who doesn’t let a hair fall from our heads without our knowledge. I’ve been meditating on Romans 8:28 — “God works all things together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose!” Praying for His peace!

  21. Tina, I don’t think it’s irrational at all. I think every person has moments when they stop, look around, and wonder what they would do if it was all gone. (If someone didn’t occasionally do this, I would wonder about their mental health!) I also read an interesting study a few years back which basically said that fear was what helped humans basically survive over the centuries. Fear — rational AND irrational — is another healthy human emotion, just like sadness, happiness, etc.

    A personal story: My mom had a stroke when I was 21, shortly after I graduated college and right before I moved into my first apartment (literally, two days before). She confided to me that she was relieved, should anything happen to her, that I was all grown up and could take care of herself, because her biggest fear was dying while I was still a child. I think parents in particular have those fears when they have small children.

    I’m glad that you shared this, because writing about these things is very cleansing, as you know. Now go and reset with some exercise, good food and lots of hugs! ;-)

  22. I think this is SO common! At least I hope it is because I feel like this all the time. I’ve been so fortunate in my life, and I always think how eventually I’ll ‘get mine’ and that things can’t possibly stay this wonderful.
    That’s why I always tell Hubbs to drive safely before he leaves (if I don’t, I freak out!) and tell everyone I love them before hanging up the phone.
    So trust me, I hate the feeling, too, but you aren’t alone!

  23. I’m right there with ya… I’ve had these irrational fears of losing someone close to me as well, and more often than I’d like. I feel like because I haven’t experienced it before, I’m doomed for it to happen. Doesn’t even sound justified, so it doesn’t make sense to me. I know I need to trust in God and everything will be okay. He’s taken care of me thus far, and He’ll continue to do so as well. :)

  24. I actually have feelings like yours a lot more often than I like to think about. I’ve always been that way. When Jay and I were younger and dating, I used to make him call me when he got home after leaving my house late at night because I was afraid something would happen. Jay was actually gone all day and night on Saturday and I found myself worrying quite a bit about whether or not he was okay…for no good reason at all.
    When I was in junior high, I can remember a weekend when my parents went away and I balled my eyes out for hours after they left…all because I had some scary fear that something was going to happen and they wouldn’t make it back.
    Despite the fact that I pretty much consider myself an optimist, I tend to have these feelings for those in my life that I truly feel so strongly about.
    And like you, I tend to blog about my feelings, but if it’s something too personal, sometimes I’ll just write it out on a piece of paper then throw it away. Or sometimes, apparently, I put them in a blog post comment…wow…sorry for that one! :)

  25. Haley Q says:

    I am so with you on this..but I love the last paragraph you wrote. How there IS good that comes even from the fears that are trying to distract you from trusting God-it makes you pray for Peter and your kids more and ultimately to rely on him day in and day out when things seem “too easy”. God isn’t the author of confusion or fear, so don’t live in that fear today!

  26. Nicole N. says:

    I felt like this all during my single college days. Then I met my husband and everything was great…until he was diagnosed with colon cancer at 26. Now, 15 months cancer free, I can tell you that God only gives you what you can deal with. I know I couldn’t deal with losing my husband, but I didn’t know I could deal with coming back from the edge with him.
    My take away from the experience is to enjoy every moment with those you love. Those moments are what will carry you through whatever life throws your way.

    • Tina says:

      Wow, Nicole. thank you for sharing this. And I’m so glad to hear he is cancer free for 15 months. Hopefully that just keeps extending longer and longer. :)

  27. Susan says:

    I REALLY appreciate this post. Ever since my diagnosis, people keep telling me “stay positive!” “think good thoughts!” Which I do, for the most part. But sometimes I just have to let my mind “go there.” I mean, really consider what would happen if I’m one of the 1 in 5 people who die from my disease. I have to, because I think I’m just living in La La Land if I don’t consider it. And I think I’ve come to peace with what will happen if I am, but the important part is that doesn’t mean I will live my life like I will be. In my usual day-to-day thoughts, I still act and assume like I am on the winning end of that equation.

    • Tina says:

      Thanks so much for chipping in your thoughts on this, Susan. I feel silly writing things like this when I’m not in the midst of something more serious…but it’s still there. And like you mentioned – it’s okay to go there because it can help us wrap our mind around things, appreciate where we are now, and cherish life in full. :)

  28. Ok so I thought I was like the only person who thought this! I always have a fear that something bad is going to happen to the ppl that I love. Every single time my parents go away without me and my brother I worry they won’t come back. I know it is horrible but I can’t help but think about it. I couldn’t live without them. I have lost a lot of ppl in my life and I am only 23 sometimes I think I just have this mind set that things are too good to be true so something bad is meant to happen. Depressing right!? But honestly I am glad you brought this up, it is important to talk about your fears.

  29. You’re definitely not the only one who has that irrational fear–I’m the exact same way. Whenever I travel, whenever people I love travel, whenever someone’s late I always fear the worst is going to happen/has happened. I have that same gut feeling (although for me I can pinpoint when it started: a girl in my town was killed in a car accident when she was 11 or so (I was the same age at the time) and when I read the article in the newspaper about it, it talked about a poem she wrote that mentioned dying young, and the reporter said something along the lines of it was as if she knew this was coming, and ever since then whenever the thought of dying young has crossed my mind, I’ve freaked out. All because of what was most likely an offhand, convenient transition sentence into a quote). I know I shouldn’t be afraid of dying, because I know life after death in Heaven will be so much better than life here…but that doesn’t mean I’m in any hurry to die! I totally relate to what you’re feeling.

    • Tina says:

      I have heard stories like that too…and it only makes me more freaked out bec of my “gut feelings”. Have to have faith, though.

  30. Thank you for opening up Tina! And don’t apologize about being “depressing”. I think it is really common for people to have those fears- I know that I do. No one in their right mind wants to lose the people that they love and when we often hear about the tragic ways other people have, it’s easy to wonder and worry about that happening to ourselves. So many people in my family are plagued with health problems that I often have a fear of what will happen to me when I get older? When is it my turn? Why am I the one that doesn’t have something? I hate thinking like this, but sometimes I feel like I’m just waiting for it to be my turn and I absolutely hate it!

  31. Rachel says:

    Oh, Tina, I so relate to how you are feeling! I am not a mom yet, but I am afraid of losing my husband at a young age. It has always been an irrational fear of mine, since I met him and knew he was the one.

    I have to thank you -this post could not have come at a better time to help me feel better. Yesterday, my husband flew up to VA for a two week business trip. He *had* to fly out yesterday, and while I certainly have faith that security has improved (watching him go through security at Hartsfield-Jackson confirmed that for me), I was still a nervous wreck until I heard from him. Last night when we Skyped I could NOT stop crying because I missed him so much. I know other families go through much worse, and we have been separated longer in the past (I was gone for 9 weeks for work, ugh). I just think the significance of yesterday added alot and made me more emotional. Again, thanks for the reminder this morning that I’m not alone in my fears.

    • Tina says:

      I think that was what hit me harder too – the whole significance of yesterday. I’m here if you ever need to chat (for either comfort or distraction or venting) while he’s out of town these next couple weeks. :)

  32. Jess says:

    I totally have moments just like this…I’ll lay in bed next to Scott in a cold sweat, scared to death that one day something horrible will happen and he’ll be snatched away from me. I hate when that feeling overcomes me because it makes me feel like I’ve lost my faith in God, or my trust in Him or something. I know it’s human nature to have fears over things like this, but still…I’d like to think my faith was strong enough where I’d trust that He’d always take care of those I love and cherish most in life, ya know?

  33. Awwww – that’s a huge bummer! I can see how that would be quite depressing. I don’t have any huge fears, but I’m just a general wimp. I’ve always been timid with various trivial things. I try not to let it get to me. Who needs skydiving anyway???

  34. Anna Crouch says:

    Tina, God does not give you a spirit of fear!!! And if you are feeling fearful over something, you have the authority to demand it to leave! And since God doesn’t give you a spirit of fear, you know that your fear is not a thought or attitude from God, thus it’s just the enemy’s ploy in an attempt to get ahold of you. Whenever I realize this, and come to my senses that it’s just the enemy trying to scare me, I start to feel better, because I realize he’s just lying to me.

    In the past I have feared never being able to have my own children. Sometimes it’s still something I think about, but I know God his plan!!!

  35. Seems we share the same irrational fear. I’m often worried about my husband’s safety and health, but I have some valid reasons: A few months before we met, he had a serious heart attack and nearly died! He has recovered completely and shows no signs of long-term effects, but that threat always lingers on my mind. Two years ago he was involved in a severe car crash. Our car was totaled, but he only got a few scratches. He’s been very lucky so far, but I often worry, that he’ll run out of luck one day. I just can’t imagine life without him.
    Thank you for being so honest and sharing your fears! You’re not the only one who feels like that sometimes.

  36. Chelsea says:

    My best friend and I were just talking about this the other day as there have had a few deaths in families close to us.

    I am TERRIFIED to lose someone, and we both said as Christian’s we felt that this was wrong and a lack of faith on our ends. I’ve always said if I lost anyone really close to me, I don’t know if I would get through and I would have to be committed. I’ve always liked Winnie the Pooh’s motto of “If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus 1 day so I don’t have to live without you.”

    But then again, I am scared of death itself. I know there is hope, I know that there is a kingdom waiting for me, but the thought of lying in a hospital saying goodbye, terrifies me. Or the thought of getting into a situation where I know in a matter of seconds I will not survive scares me too.

    I know I have to be at peace with it and trust in God’s plan, but it’s so hard for me to grasp. I can only imagine how much harder it is to have children and a husband and have the same fears.

    Just remember that you have so many people that love you, and if the inevitable happens, you will not be alone. These are the times when God is carrying us and holding us tightest and will get us through!

  37. I could seriously take this post and use it as my own. I have very similar fears. At 12, my best friend (bf at the time, as much as you can be in 6th grade) was tragically killed in a jet-ski accident on the lake in our home town. Ever since that accident I feel like things could sprial out of control and be taken away in an instant (which they can of course). Sometimes that fear can consume me on a given day. I all to often find myself thinking about how I could (or couldn’t) survive a life without my husband. Or, when it comes to kids, how if we decide to have any, could I ever do it alone as a single mother in the face of a tragedy.
    I don’t think you’re alone in this Tina, just one of the braver ones to actually write about it.

  38. Melodie says:

    I deal with this too. The first 30 years of my life were very painful and full of rejection. Since I got remarried and moved to a different part of the state, things have been so good. Yes, we still have financial struggles here and there, etc., but there is no emotional/ physical abuse… and it seems too good to be true?! I feel a lot of times like I am just waiting for God to say… “oh, wait…. nevermind, I forgot who I was dealing with, you do not deserve this!”. Even though I know better, I have to fight those negative thoughts with scripture on a pretty regular basis!! Oh, and I also always thought that the Lord would give me a child with mental disabilities… and both of my boys are perfectly healthy :)

    You have an amazing husband, wonderful children and what seems to be an amazing church family :) Hang in there and trust in God’s word… maybe you could memorize more scripture dealing with these fears?

  39. Love the holding hand pic! SO sweet!

  40. Dorry says:

    I definitely relate to this! You are not alone here. After Billy’s father passed away so unexpectedly, we obviously all went through our own mourning process, and mine included months of terrible dreams about losing Billy. And the dreams would stick with me into every waking hour and I’d worry. It was terrible. Thankfully, that subsided with time, but it’s still in there…that worry in my head that surfaces every now and then. We’ve gotta PRAY through it. xo

  41. We do have these moments of worries and fears for our loved ones. You mentioned in your comment about motorcycles and it reminds me of my brother riding motorcycles anywhere in our place. whenever i worry about him, i utter a prayer for him for God to protect him. I also do that for all the people dear to me. Because we can’t always be there to protect them and sometimes even if we’re with them, we can’t always have the capacity to help them or take away their pain but God is in control. When we give our life to Him, don’t you think He’ll abandon your loved ones? He also loves them and wants so much to take care of them.
    Romans 8:28
    New International Version (NIV)
    28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
    When winds are blowing, waves are rising, falling
    And all the air is full of dust and spray;
    When voices, like to sea birds’ plaintive calling,
    Confuse my day;
    Then, then I know Thee, Lord of highest heaven
    In newborn need discover Thee, and find
    Nought can discomfort him to whom is given
    A quiet mind.
    When hopes have failed, and heavy sadness crusheth,
    And doubt and fear would weave their deadly spell,
    Then thought of Thee my troubled spirit husheth;
    And all is well.
    In midnight hours when weariness ignoreth
    Heaven’s starry host, and battle wounds are mine,
    Then Thy right hand uplifteth and outpoureth
    Love’s oil and wine.
    O Blessed Lord, beyond the moment’s sorrow
    I see above, beaneath, before, behind–
    Eternal Love. Give me today, tomorrow,
    A quiet mind.
    (From the collected poems of Amy Carmichael)

  42. Karin says:

    You are not alone. My fear, is that I won’t be here for my son. That something will happen to me! I have nightmares about it. It is horrible. I haven’t said anything to my hubby about it, as he would say, I’m crazy. But, it is there, always lurking in the background.So, I enjoy every day with my son, hug him lots and try to take good care of myself. I too, thank God everyday for what I have in my lfe.

  43. I have that fear too– honestly, I think MOST people probably do. I think it’s okay to have– it means that you’re full of love for the people you surround yourself with. You just have to be careful not to let it consume your life, and remember that it’s just a fear, not a reality.

  44. Tina I think it’s totally natural to have these fears. By being aware of them, we are alert to the possibility of loss, which makes love harder, care more, and live more fully.

  45. Tina, I have the same irrational fear. It drives me crazy sometimes!

  46. I think it’s completely normal (and human) to have these fears, Tina! I know I definitely have!
    But I just have to remind myself that God is in control. That he has a plan (plans to make you prosper). That He’ll look after you (far more than the sparrow and lilies).
    I struggle with this at times: giving control over to Him. And that’s where the fear lies…you can’t control these circumstances and we want control.

  47. I am a hot mess sometimes with all of my irrational fears. I always overthink things and imagine all of the bad things that could possibly happen – but then I have to stop myself. If I always turn to the “what-ifs” I will miss out on life. Everyday my parents go to work, I worry. There are so many what-ifs. But we have to look at the positives and opportunities :)

  48. Honestly you’re not alone. I have this looming feeling that either me or someone very near to me will become terminally ill. Not so much the car crash or accident – but a terminal illness. Irrational yes, but it seems a lot of us have them!

  49. I totally have the same fear! Especially of something happening to my husband, now that I don’t live that close to any family, I honestly have no idea what I would do. I’d most likely just curl up in a ball and not get out of bed. It’s one of my main sources of anxiety. Bleh! On a lighter note, another irrational fear I have is of falling especially on a treadmill. I will be doing something and envision myself eating it hard core.

  50. I don’t think that’s an irrational fear, or if it is, than we’re both irriational. Since the first time that I met Matt and knew he was the one for me, I always fear that this great life I have now taken away from me. When he travels, I check flights regularly to make sure they arrive and depart on time. When he leaves for work, I hope that nothing happens to him because even though I know I would survive without him, I don’t want to. My family means the world to me and my greatest fear is not growing old with them, all of them.

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Announcement Time

Posted: November 23, 2011 at 7:47 am

Well, I have had a whirlwind of a few weeks over here. I missed all of you so much! I can’t express enough gratitude for your patience while I got some important things sorted out. Some scary things. Are you ready for the announcement? Here goes! I will no longer be blogging at Faith Fitness [...]

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Self-Love Reflection: The Road Not Taken

Posted: November 20, 2011 at 11:47 am

Hello FFF readers! Nice to meet ya! My name is Carissa and my husband and I blog at Fit2Flex.  Well, I blog…he consults! We are both certified personal trainers with a passion for healthy, active living and clean eating.  I am also studying to become a registered dietitian, a race announcer, and a runner.  Stop [...]

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Healthier Eating For Kids

Posted: November 19, 2011 at 10:56 am

Thanks to Plum Organics for sponsoring my post about tips for baby feeding magic. What if you let baby choose what’s for dinner? Check out their cute "Quest for Yum!" video and see what happens! As parents, we want the best for our children. We help them to feel loved. We strive to teach them [...]

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Posted: November 17, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Hey, everyone! I wanted to pop in and say I am working on some new and exciting changes.  As a result,I may not be posting as much during the coming week.  Please stay tuned for the big announcement! Love you all! And still feel free to find me on Twitter and Facebook for the time [...]

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Where The Change Happens

Posted: November 16, 2011 at 7:54 am

It’s kind of funny. I become a certified personal trainer and the first workouts I turn to this week come from someone else. The book came in for me at the library last week and, after flipping through it, I couldn’t wait to give the circuits a go. Making The Cut includes a lot of [...]

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From Beginning To End

Posted: November 15, 2011 at 11:53 am

Good morning! First off, thanks for the many congrats yesterday. Love you all bunches for the tons of support you have given me in so many things this year. I hope I can return a little bit of that love through this here blog as well. So yesterday I had my first parent-teacher “conference” for [...]

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