Self-Love Reflection: Loving The Old and New Me

Posted: September 18, 2011 at 10:06 am

Hey there Faith Fitness and Fun readers! I'm Lindsay and I blog over at Living Lindsay. I'm so honored that Tina has given me the opportunity to invade her corner of the blog world and share my story. Thank you so much Tina!

When you spend most of your life overweight, it becomes second nature to lose faith in yourself. Self- confidence flies out the window and you always view the cup as half-empty.

half full cup (source)

I spent the majority of my life as an obese girl. Thankfully, I had a close group of friends and was well- liked by everyone, but that didn’t change the fact that I never had a boyfriend, was never asked to a school dance, and always dreaded being in front of the classroom for fear of being teased.

 
high school
Me just before my senior year of high school

The majority of my negative memories and feelings involve gym class and the physical fitness tests that we had to complete each quarter. Part of the test included a one-mile run. I would always try to find an excuse to postpone it so that I could make it up and run it alone as opposed to running it with the whole class. Unfortunately, the teachers were REALLY good at keeping it a secret and we never knew about it until class time. I always finished last, but at least I finished. I never won the award for the most athletic or the fastest, but I always won the award for the most enthusiastic. I embraced that award and still do because I know that quality is what has made me who I am today.

In January 2010, I decided to change my life and lost 112 pounds. No fad diets were involved. In fact, no diet at all was involved. I simply ate healthy and exercised. I follow a 90/10 rule: eat healthy 90% of the time, and allow yourself some flexibility the rest of the time. This has truly been my key to success because I never feel deprived, restricted, or punished.

before-and-after-400x309

Exercise is no longer a fear of mine, as it used to be. Instead, it’s something I love doing and I embrace the challenge each and every day.

workouts

So in June, I decided it was time to face my fears and signed up for my first 5K. I didn’t train for it. I just decided two days prior to the race that it was time to prove that I could do it. Anyone who has lost weight can attest to the fact that seeing yourself as a “new” person is really difficult. Part of me still believed that I wasn’t strong enough or fit enough to do it. But I spent my entire life believing that I couldn’t do things and let my weight stand in the way of so many experiences and opportunities. I’m not the same girl and it was time to prove it to myself.

 
On the day of the race, I felt extremely nervous and almost backed out. What if I wouldn’t be able to finish? What if I finished last? I then reminded myself that it really didn’t matter. Do the best you can and you really can’t feel badly about anything. When the whistle blew and the race began, I felt invincible. I knew I wouldn’t finish first, but I was determined to run the whole race. When I passed the 2 mile mark, I felt so unbelievably proud. And when I saw the “Finish” line, I never felt more proud of myself.

 
finish line
Mission accomplished!

I suddenly realized that I blew the gym class fitness test out of the water that morning and it felt amazing! There was nothing to fear anymore.

IMG_7809

Losing weight helped me gain control of my life. I now have the confidence and self-esteem to try new things and challenge myself. That little voice is still in the back of my head at times, trying to convince me that I can’t do something. But I’m strong enough to ignore it and instead choose to believe that I can.

climbing

I’ve learned to love myself. And you know what? I’ve learned to love who I used to be, too. Yes, I wish some things in my life could have been different, but I am who I am now because of who I used to be. You can spend time wishing your life had been different, or wishing you looked a different way. Or, you can focus on something about yourself that is absolutely incredible, and use it to propel your life forward in a positive direction. Give yourself an award and embrace it. I'm sticking with "most enthusiastic".

IMG_9271

It certainly has taken me far. 

  • What award would you give yourself?

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16 Comments to “Self-Love Reflection: Loving The Old and New Me”
  1. When I was in 6th grade I earned the coveted “Spirit award” for our entire middle school and I’m still proud to this day.I like your positive outlook!

  2. Great guest post! I love the idea of giving yourself an award! Awesome :)

  3. I needed to read this today Lindsay! This was a great guest post, and I love the part apart learning to love the old you like you love the new you! Very inspiring!

  4. Lauren says:

    Awesome story! I think I would definitely like to be most enthusiastic over fastest or most fit anyday. Your approach to losing the weight (just exercise + healthy eating) is so great because most people still think there is a quick way or tricks to lose weight.I would give myself the award of most positive.

  5. What a great guest post Lindsay! Your story is truly amazing and such an inspiration. :-)

  6. Lenna says:

    Lindsay, what an amazing post! I have to say that your enthusiasm is one of the things I really love about you and I think that everyone should learn this from you. It is really shining through your blog, through your pictures, through you and it is the aura of happiness that makes everyone else happy as well :) It is really sad how we can spend our lives being sad and depressed because of being labeled as “the fat”, “the ugly”, “the silly” etc. An it is always great to see how someone was able to overcome such a label and became a person who enjoy their life. I have never been overweight, but still I never had a boyfriend, I was never asked to a school dance etc. too, because there was just another label that fitted me and that “sentenced” me to that… You always have to keep on believing in yourself, because when everyone else seems to forget you are a living being too, you are still there to remind yourself of it! Have an amazing day, girl <3

  7. Tracy says:

    So happy for you Lindsay!! You have always been a beautiful person to me, inside and out! Your enthusiastic attitude gave us a lot of good times in college! Luv ya!

  8. What an inspiring story! With all the challenges I’m facing in the coming two weeks (with work, not with fitness), this is just what I needed to get me going on work today! Thank you!

  9. Shannon says:

    This is such a great, motivational post! I love reading your blog, Lindsay! You are beautiful inside and out! <3

  10. peacebeme says:

    Great guest post! Congratulations on all of your accomplishments! I LOVE the last paragraph. Especially when you say, “you can focus on something about yourself that is absolutely incredible, and use it to propel your life forward in a positive direction.”

  11. Ragnhild says:

    GREAT post Lindsay!
    We are all on a journey! On mine, I am slowly realizing that I wont be abetter person, even if I looked like and Victoria Secret model. Im learning that I need and want to take CARE of myself, not beating myself up, or treating my body poorly! A well-cared-for body, is a beautiful body, no matter what shape or size it comes in! And more importantly, a beautiful soul, comes from how we treat others and ourself, how we act and think, and not by how we look!
    Im so proud of you for the huge change you made, and still are making, in your life!
    You know I love you<3

  12. I love this story … it’s very relatable, helpful and inspirational. In school I always won the “most dedicated” awards, and I hope I still love up to that to this day, because while I can’t always be the best, I always want to do my best (if that makes sense).

  13. Linz says:

    You’re awesome! I have been reading your blog for about a month now, but never knew when/how your journey started or how far exactly you have come! (I just like reading about your funny experiences, cute kid, and stellar recipes!) So from one Lindsay to another…. DAAAAMN GIRL!!!! YOU ROCK!!!

  14. Stephanie says:

    I think that health and physical education is a key component of a solid school system…but I also think that it’s borderline cruel to force kids who feel uncomfortable with their bodies to run in front of their peers. I’m not sure what the happy medium is.

    You have such a positive attitude. I love that you celebrate your current you while also cherishing the you that you used to be. And that last picture of you? Absolutely golden!

  15. Claire says:

    Look at those guns! You look and sound amazing- thank you for sharing your story, I can relate all too well unfortunately.. hopefully I can relate to the happy ending soon too! Thanks for cheering me up :)

  16. [...] Self-Love Reflection: Loving the Old and New Me [...]

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