Self-Love Reflection: Not Perfect

Posted: September 25, 2011 at 10:08 am

this morning’s Self-Love Reflection comes from one of my long time internet friends – Becca. She does the competition thing with grace, determination, and self-care. I love her journey and watching her continue to grow into a fitter person inside and out. She basically rocks! I hope you enjoy reading more from her. Take it away, Becca!

Hi everyone! I’m Becca and I blog over at Ihearteggs if you didn’t already know that. Anyone looking at my blog would automatically think “hot mess”… or so I’d like to think. With a tendency to be all over the place, I recently left my career in the city to move back to my hometown. Things haven’t been easy and a few years ago this would have killed me because…well, it wasn’t perfect.

Giving up my “perfect” life to make a total life change and giving up my full independence is not like me. I’ve always strived for perfection, but then I started to realize a few things - mainly that perfection was leading me on a dangerous path. Finally being able to let go of that image in my head led to more self love and acceptance than I could have ever dreamed of.

So why is everyone so obsessed with “perfect”?

  • Being the perfect competitor
  • Being the perfect employee
  • Being the perfect girlfriend/sister/mother
  • Being the perfect you

That’s why I prefer to say “perfect” now instead of straight up perfect. It all comes down to the comparison trap, letting others dictate who we should be, what we should do, and what is normal.

Picture1

I always strived for perfection. I mean who doesn’t want that?

I was the perfect daughter. I did as I was told. I went to the schools that were expected of me. I took the right paths in life. Therefore, everything should be great and wonderful right?

Wrong.

While everything looked perfect, I felt far from it. The smile on my face wasn’t real and it wasn’t until I finally decided to break that perfect cycle and take off to Montreal on my own that I really found my happiness. Leaving was hard. The feeling of disappointing everyone, giving up on my fake dreams, made me feel confused and vulnerable. But at least for once I was feeling something.

It was letting go of those expectations and comparisons that allowed me to find MY perfect. The Becca with a no plan-plan, who would take off to Vermont for a weekend because I could and then “waste time” wandering aimlessly for hours. I finally realized I was a spur of the moment impulsive planner.

How is that for crazy and imperfect for you? Pretty great, eh?

I was the same way with dieting for competitions. I wanted to be “perfect”, to follow my plans to the letter, never question, never want explanation.

You want me to stop eating dairy? Okay! Cut out all salt and water? Done! Add in another hour of cardio a day and cancel the rest day? I’m on it!

Huh?! Say what? Fast track right back into disordered eating if you ask me.

So I researched, and I planned and I found a coach who allowed me to not have to eliminate foods. I didn’t have to spend hours on the stepmill. I found a coach who allowed me to be perfect… at being imperfect.

picture 2

Perfect diets don’t work. Everyone is so different and so individual that you have to find your perfect or you’ll end up miserable…and probably 50 lbs heavier than where you started. Been there, done that. No thank you!

What I’ve learned is perfect for everyone else isn’t necessarily perfect for me. While I know my life and my habits would drive some people crazy, I’d be crazy without them. I fully embrace this new mindset. I no longer strive for the perfect model body, the perfect career, or the perfect home. I strive for being the best ME, whether it’s on a stage, playing at the park with my nephew or burning dinner…for the third night in row.

picture 3

I used to be terrified of making mistakes and taking the wrong path… but now? Bring it on. I accept the good with the  bad, but most of all I accept me, flaws, talents and everything in between.

  • What is a way you have tried to be “perfect”? How do you embrace “imperfections” now?

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13 Comments to “Self-Love Reflection: Not Perfect”
  1. This is a REALLY great post! I enjoyed reading a lot, because I try and be perfect in every way. I want so badly to be “that girl” who “does everything” and does it all well and “has it all together”. This is NOT realistic at all..

  2. Mariel says:

    by restricting my food and calorie. all it did was lead to misery!!!!!

  3. This is wonderful!!! Well said and so comforting. Thank You for sharing and congratulations on finding YOUR perfect. :o )

  4. Khushboo says:

    Perfect is an illusion! I rather be 5lbs heavier than give up my fave foods!

  5. Great guest post! I am heading over to your blog now :)

  6. Great post! I feel like so many of us suffer from perfectionism. Trying to be perfect and putting so much pressure on yourself to be what you think you must be in SO many areas of your life only leads to bad feelings, being too hard on yourself, feeling too much guilt and for what?! Ultimately cracking? NO fun – i’m trying hard to avoid these tendencies!

  7. Shannon says:

    Great post!
    Your pretty! :)

  8. laura says:

    What an amazing post!
    We were secretsanta gift buddies last year, :)

  9. This is such an inspirational post. There really is no such thing as perfect and we all should try to embrace and love our “imperfections”!

  10. C says:

    I can relate so much to this post. I try try try but when its not as perfect as I want it to be it leads to negativity and self criticism. I long for the balance you seem to have found. Great read :)

  11. [...] case you missed it, check out my Self Love and Reflection guest blog for Tina that popped up yesterday. I was actually mildly intelligent for once so you may find it [...]

  12. Trying to be perfect is something I have always struggled with. I’m getting better, but it is something I still have to pray about. I hope one day I can just be completely content and grateful for all God has blessed me with!

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