30 days of self love – love from others

Posted: September 5, 2010 at 8:00 am

Good morning all! Thank you for all the wonderful reflections you shared yesterday despite the weekend. I look forward to reading more today. The support and care you all put into this moves me each and every day. :)

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The whole purpose of this movement relates to self-love. Today’s topic, however, relates to the love we have from others and how it can help us more fully grasp self-love as well.

In the dark throes of depression, I felt like no one loved me and placed very little value in my life and worth. I couldn’t see the tears in my mother’s and sister’s eyes or their hearts breaking when they finally broke into the bathroom where I was trying to find the “strength” to down a bottle of pills and end my misery. I questioned Peter’s devoted actions at the beginning of our relationship and tried to deny feeling anything for him in fear of getting hurt yet again. I attempted to earn love and respect the ridiculous ways of partying and being too “friendly” with too many guys my senior year of college, despite two of my good friends warning me against those actions and telling me time and time again I didn’t need that. I certainly wasn’t always this happy.

I didn’t believe others loved me or could even care for me in the slightest. That made me doubt and hate myself more than I already did. The most disturbing part of this situation comes from the fact that I did have people who loved me and, if I had seen that, I might not have hated myself so much. Then, avoided a lot of that pain.

I want to be clear here. I do not believe in placing your worth in what someone else thinks of you. For example, if I never stopped trying to determine my worth based on my father’s views or if my ex loved me at the moment, I would likely still sit here today lost in the black hole of my previous life. I do propose, however, that we each have someone in our lives who loves us fully and that we need to see our own selves through that person’s loving eyes.

[source]

Don’t you even try to tell me you have no one who loves you, either. There’s somebody. Usually, many somebodies exist if we look hard enough. I’ll rebuttal your claim right now if you even try to say no one cares. I care! That is why I pour my heart, soul, time, and energy into this message. That is why I cry right now with the mere thought than anyone could feel no one loves them. I do and you better believe others do too! Friends, family members, co-workers, fellow church members, other bloggers, that nice woman you see every day at the gym…someone cares! I will also scream from the rooftops that God cares too. Whether or not you believe in Him, oh boy does He care for you and view you as the most wonderful person out there…no matter what you’ve done or what you think of yourself. That is my belief and truth.

[source]

See yourself through the eyes of those that love you. See the joy you bring them. Open your eyes. View yourself in a different light. We all too often act as our own worst enemy and judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else. Instead, realize you are loved, cherished, wanted, and needed. Love yourself like others love you. Remember. They do. Don’t fight it.

Reflect on who loves you and what they see in you. Do you have trouble believing it and accepting what they see whole-heartedly? Try to think of all those wonderful things about you that others care for and use those to fuel your day.

My answer: I will try to remember just how fabulous M thinks I am. She believes I can do no wrong and can cure the tiniest of problems. She believes in me, so I shall believe in myself…even when nervous for posting something so heartfelt in today’s message.

Quotes to Reflect On
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and how to let it come in.
~Morrie Schwartz

*To be added to the email list and receive links to the posts in the morning, please let me know of your interest in a comment below.

*For more 30 Days Inspiration visit these bloggers who shared the message and let me know if you do/did. I’ve also received a few questions and I want to clarify that you do NOT need to post about the 30 Days on your blog to participate. I only share these links to those who let me know of posts or that I come across when reading blogs as a thank you for spreading the message and so we can easily find more positive messages to reflect on. I still appreciate each person’s participation, whether or not you post on your blog!

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87 Comments to “30 days of self love – love from others”
  1. Heather says:

    sooooooo i’m crying now too…not a shocker, but this truly is a heartfelt message. i don’t know if i ever let myself believe that i was truly worth being loved until i met my husband and he had to drill it into me! thank goodness for God’s love and the way He let’s that love shine through others!

    • Tina says:

      Yea. I totally didn’t intend this post to go like that but you know how God works. LOL I’m eternally grateful to Him for bringing Peter into my life. He was a big part of what opened my eyes to so many things. Wonderful men we have, huh? :D

  2. What a beautiful post! This is my first time on your site, and I really enjoyed stopping by!

    • Tina says:

      Thank you so much! I hope to continue to see you around. I love connecting with other bloggers and really believe in this 30 days movement.

  3. Astrid says:

    Last night, I went into my bathroom to find post-its in the shape of a heart that my boyfriend left for me. It made me feel so incredibly loved, and knowing that you are loved does feel so amazing! You are such a sweet and loving person, Tina, and you do deserve all the love and happiness in the world!

  4. Michal says:

    I’m crying right now. Thank you for sharing this.
    I’m in the odd place right now of trying to break the cycle by not allowing myself to seek reassurance from the people who love/d me. That is… I was in a cycle where I’d believe they hated or no longer loved me, I’d make them reassure me – and then I’d convince myself that now they must surely be sick of me for doing it again. Now they don’t respond to me when I seek reassurance, and I’ve told myself the only way to break the cycle and prove to them I’m not a waste of time is to ACT confident and like they do love me – even though I don’t know if I possibly DID push them away. Not really sure if that makes any sense, but the only way I can prove to them that I’ve changed is by changing, even though I wish I could ask them if they do still care for me.
    Might be TMI…. but that’s what this is about, right? Thank you for creating this opportunity.

    • Tina says:

      Definitely what this is about. We need to push those limits to grow as beautiful, strong people. I certainly relate to and understand what you are talking about. I hope you can see that others do appreciate and love you. Don’t question it so much. Simply return that love and it will grow into something beautiful you can be sure of. Hope you have a good night.

  5. Kristie says:

    Tina this is so beautiful. And such a true message – being on the other side of that, seeing someone place their worth in someone who was emotionally abusive, really truly is heart breaking. And I thank God that I can believe he loves me as you too believe; that belief has gotten me through some tough times when I was younger.

  6. Penny Lane says:

    Oy! Really?!? Talk about a difficult subject, one of the insecurities the evil one uses on each and everyone of us. How perfect to make us feel unloved when to our deepest core we want to be with others. I am constantly battling this in my own life. Its not that I don’t have people who love me because I know I do, but when trying to expand my “family” I get nervous about my insecurities and figure no one can love the craziness that is Penny Lane.
    When I was 20 I moved in with my grandma and grandpa and this put my life on a completely different trojectory. I continued my partying ways, but the one thing that changed was I was allowed to make mistakes and be an idiot and this never changed how they treated me. WOW what a change for me, good or bad they loved me and knew that I could succed. This is the first person who I realized loved me no matter what, but looking back I can see angels placed in my youth who gave me this unconditional love when my parents were unable to. Thinking about all the time I have let slip by due to insecurities makes me tear up.I am glad that we have the love of God who provides us with grace when we fell as though we are failures.

    • Tina says:

      That unconditional love is life changing for sure! I’m glad you had someone show that to you. And people out there will love you for YOU. Don’t worry about that “craziness”. Our quirks make us wonderful.

  7. Lauren says:

    Oh wow…your story basically sums up a lot of my own experience with depression: feeling unworthy, unloved by God, etc., and I still do struggle with those things from time to time. I too tried to push my loved ones away and couldn’t understand why they kept trying to help – because they love me! :) I’m going to make it my goal today to view myself in a positive light as my loved ones view me, instead of being so self critical. Thanks for being so open with your post.

  8. Eliza says:

    I consider myself to be a pretty difficult person- I’m head strong and opinionated, I talk a lot, I take up a lot space, you know? I’ve come to appreciate and love these qualities in myself, but always figured that a partner in life would be annoyed by them. Plenty of the men I’d been involved with had called me “crazy” or made comments about how they had to “put up with me.” When I fell in love with my partner, that all changed. He doesn’t see these qualities as behaviors that should be changed or that he has to put up with, and he does not love me despite these qualities. He loves me because I’m me, because I’m head strong and opinionated and because I talk a lot. Its kind of amazing to find someone who sees all of who you are, and adores every bit of it.

    • Tina says:

      Very true!!! We don’t need to try to force people to love us or appreciate us because that won’t do any good. We need to open ourselves to those who will love us for who we are and bring in us strength and optimism. Great post!

  9. I admit your post today brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me of the scene in Good Will Hunting when Sean embraces Will and reminds him again and again, It’s not your fault…It’s not your fault.

    Why is it so hard to believe that we are loved, that we can be loved? I know my parents loved me. I know my sisters love me. And my daughter. And my Godparents. And countless others (I guess…) But unless I love myself, and feel worthy of love within myself, I don’t trust the love of others, and in the back of my mind I always wonder what is wrong with the people who choose to love me…

    I admit I haven’t had good relationships with men. Just once I’d like someone to pick me over their selfishness, alcohol, etc… Pick me! I want to say. Pick me! Like I’m standing against the gym wall afraid of being picked last for the game of dodge ball. Trying to blend in, to disappear within the wall, while also simultaneously, tentatively, reaching out my hand.

    Today though, I will see myself through Merran’s eyes (my daughter) and I will see a silly, weird, and sometimes awkward woman who accepts others without judgment; who is always there for you and your friends; who always wishes the best for you (even when what is best for you isn’t the best for her), and who sincerely and unconditionally loves the people she loves.

    Thank you again, Tina. You are a Godsend. Sorry for such a long ramble! Guess this post really hit home!

    • Tina says:

      Ramble away! :) I think those are great things to see in yourself through your daughter’s eyes. And I can relate to that “pick me!” feeling with men. That was my life with my ex. Then I realized his love didn’t define me. Nor does a man define you. All those things you described your daughter seeing in you define you. And they are WONDERFUL!

  10. When I was a teenager I felt that my dad didn’t love me. I never could hear the positive he was saying to me, I could only hear the constructive comments (if you pay more attention you’ll do better in school). But looking back I know that he did love me and only wanted me to do my best. I am lucky now to have a great relationship with my dad.

    Check out my blog after 2pm EST to read my post on Others Love.

  11. Ela says:

    Oh, my gosh – what powerful expression, and what perfect serendipity! I’m busy again with company today, but have a blog post ‘brewing’ in my head that ties in _precisely_ to this!

    Thank you for putting heart and soul and experience into expressing such an important truth, that so many of us skate over and do not do justice to. I’m in awe that you do this so powerfully and yet so humbly. Thank you.

    I’ll check back in later on when (I say ‘when’!) I’ve gotten that post written up.

    love
    Ela

  12. Beautiful post, Tina! This was such a wonderful and uplifting message for a Sunday afternoon–just what I need to start the week off right :)

    Thank you for sharing and inspiring!

  13. Lisa says:

    Every post that you write for this “30 days of love” is something that I have always struggled with and working towards overcoming. I’ve always struggled with loving myself and seeing the great qualities that I have. I often hide from starting to relationships with people because I often think who would want to “date me?” who would want to be friends with me? For so long, I have hid from social situations, because I fear rejection. I always hold myself back. I often times doubt how strong and intelligent I am. No matter what success I have in any area of my life, I displace it and somehow, it ends up in the back of my mind, as if it never happened. Thank you for opening my eyes every and making me think about how I hinder myself from loving myself and living my life.

    • Tina says:

      You’re going to make me cry! This is why I do this. I care so much on sharing the things that took me years to grasp. I still only grasp them with my fingertips as I continue to learn as well. And each of you challenge me to see new things as well. This whole process amazes me…and it hasn’t even been a week! LOL

      Keep up with the reflections and I can’t wait to see what they do for you. And all of us.

  14. Aww Tina I love this one! I think it’s my favourite 30 Days post so far. Today I’m working on putting the finishing touches on my vision board and that Morrie Schwartz quote is SO getting a spot!! Sometimes I wonder if someone in my family really loves me because of all the criticisms that I hear from her. It feels like even though I’m doing my best, it’s not good enough. Lately things have been getting better, and it’s easier for me to see that she really does love me and she is saying the things she does out of concern. Thanks again for this post! :)

  15. I am fortunate to be able to name several people that love me but there is one “person” that I can honestly say loves me so totally unconditionally and that is my dog, Zealand. He is the most amazing guy- he is affectionate, goofy, smart, and is always right there with me. Last night when I was doing yoga he laid down by my mat. Right now he is on the couch sleeping next to me. When I was doing dishes he was at my feet. He always greets me with a silly lil grin on his face when I get home. I know that others love me (my husband, parents, friends) but there is nothing like the devoted love of a dog. He brings joy to my day :)

  16. Tina what a lovely post and thank you for sharing!

    I know my husband loves me with all of his heart, but my negative image of myself still holds me back from truly “believing” him. It makes me sad to even type that out, but its the truth.

    I see a therapist for social anxiety issues, and she tells me often that when I am feeling anxious and overwhelmed to think of God wrapping his arms around me and to remind myself that I am not alone and that He is here. Just thinking of that now brings tears to my eyes because I know that is true. I know He loves me and He is always with me.

    Thank you for the reminder of that today :)

    • Tina says:

      What a great image to use in times of difficulty! Have you ever read the book “The Shack”? I would HIGHLY recommend it for you. It’s basically a fiction novel that really shows the 3 different sides of God (as Jesus, Father, and Spirit). It makes you feel His love so deeply.

  17. Jill says:

    Thank you for your inspiring words and actions. You are sharign light and giving hope to so many. Please include me on your list to get the daily links. Thank you for sharing a little part of you with everyone. Peace

  18. Kristine says:

    This post was so moving. Thank you so much for posting it!

  19. Taryn says:

    Tina, thank you for sharing this. This is one of my biggest struggles–knowing people love me and that I am worth being loved. The enemy definitely drills that insecurity into my head on a daily basis.

    I’m trying to work on this, and I hope that one day I will be able to say, with confidence, that people love me. I might have to bookmark this post, just so I can read it when I get into one of those terrible ruts.

    Thanks again! This is probably my favorite post so far in this series.

    • Tina says:

      Every person is worth love! I know it can be hard to see, but really remember that. There is NO reason whatsoever you shouldn’t have love. From yourself or others.

  20. Amber says:

    Thank you so much for sharing so openly! When you open up, it allows us to feel safe opening up, too. Thank you!!!

    I love today’s quote! I think it is so important to not only love, but let love in. For a long time, I felt down, and wasn’t sure I wanted to keep going in life. I didn’t share my sadness or feelings with anyone. I poured love onto others, but I wouldn’t allow others to pour love onto me. I have been working hard to get out of that place. I have been working to let my husband in and accept the love other people offer, and to realize that I am worth it! That’s part of the reason I accepted this 30-day self love challenge. It came at the perfect time. I know that my husband, my parents, and my dearest friend think the world of me – and I’m beginning to realize that it’s ok to love myself and think the world of me, too.

    Thank you, thank you for this post today! :)

    • Tina says:

      There’s nothing wrong with thinking the world of yourself. You deserve that. The world teaches us that’s cocky and arrogant. It’s not. It’s self maintaining. It’s honoring who you were created to be.

  21. Shayna says:

    I love your honesty in all of these posts, Tina :) Thanks for sharing this with us.
    Love from others is probably the only area I don’t struggle with. My parents did such a great job of making all (9!!) of us kids feel loved and worth it. This foundation really helped me later in life when I decided to date idiots that didn’t :) And Jesus loves me and placed my amazing husband in my life and I made a conscious choice that I won’t take either of those two’s love for me for granted.

    • Tina says:

      Hooray for feeling secure in this! That makes me so happy.

      And give kudos to your parents for raising NINE kids! All wonderful, no doubt. That’s amazing! :)

  22. “I do propose, however, that we each have someone in our lives who loves us fully and that we need to see our own selves through that person’s loving eyes.”

    I love this idea of trying to see yourself the way others in your life see you. We rarely encounter a harsher critic than ourselves – and it’s refreshing to try to step outside of our own narrow self-image and consider how wonderful we are in the eyes of the world around us. I’m sometimes taken aback when I receive a complement from someone I respect or admire – but really I shouldn’t be. I should be my own biggest fan! I love today’s message and will certainly be sharing it!

  23. Tina.

    you are beautiful, really. my hope right now is that I am able to MEET you in person someday and HUG you. :)

    each of these daily self love posts are amazing and inspiring. when I read your thoughts on how to do this, whether you even should, and would we tire of too many posts a day? No Way, Girl.

    wow, you are touching so many people, and I admire your honesty and STRENGTH. amazing.

    Seeing ourselves as others see us is a great outlook, one I wish more people would do.

    Thank you again… I am off to share your message.

    • Tina says:

      I have the biggest smile on my face reading this. Things are happening that I never expected with this. The stories and changes I hear and see make every moment I work on this worthwhile. It has been a growing love of mine for so long and it feels so good to get it out there. Thanks for your support!

  24. Jolene says:

    Wow. I am also on the verge of tears – it had to take a lot of courage and strength for you to post this, I give you so much credit for that and truly admire where you are now, and where you came from in your past. You sound like one of the most loving, genuine, real people there are on this planet and it’s amazing to be getting to know you through this!! Truly. And this message really resonates to me right now as well as I struggle with wanting to feel loved again and to wonder why is it that it has taken me so long to find it, to find someone to love me, but the truth is, I need to love me through and through before that can even happen. I’m almost there, but I think this past weekend has shown me I have some more work to do. Thank you again for posting this, I’ll be quoting it in my blog as well today.

  25. Jess says:

    Man, did I get a lump in my throat reading this. Just as my sister literally JUST said in her post, I am near tears reading this. You are so strong for posting such a personal message here. I truly appreciate your open, honest and loving way of sharing your faith with us here, even for those that don’t believe in Him, your message is amazing, clear and perfectly suited to today, and hits home. Thank you for that, Tina. So much.

  26. [...] days of self-love” series and fell to tears again. Why? Because she’s so right. Her post today was focused on “self-love from others” and it’s what I need to really take [...]

  27. Maren says:

    Tina, this post spoke to me so much! I’ve had/have such a hard time with this. I’m doing a full write up on my blog tonight on this one.

    I agree everyone is cared for and loved. My issues weren’t that, I grew up in a family that isn’t very visually affectionate, and we don’t really say things like “I love you” to each other or “you look beautiful, great, pretty, good” whatever. I know my parents think that I do but I didn’t realize how much they did growing up because it wasn’t out there.

    Because of this it makes it hard for me to tell others, or tell myself. I also am always afraid of being hurt. I’ve been in countless situations with peers, and people who I loved and considered friends where I was crushed and backstabed and hurt beyond belief. I can’t believe I found a guy who was willing to put up with me for years while I refused to let him love me, and I really didn’t let him in.

    Keep this up Tina! You really are changing my life. I need 30DSLR more than I ever could have known. Thank you! You are my hero.

    • Tina says:

      Oh my goodness. YOU are my hero. Each and every one of you participating in this are. You all are making this happen and making the changes in yourselves. It’s all YOU and it’s beautiful.

  28. Oh sweetie, I have tears in my eyes reading this. I am so bad about thinking that no one cares THAT much about me. In my mind it’s like why should they? I fail at this, I fail at that, I stink at this. I have seriously thought that if I died, some people would be better off. How horrible right???? This year for my anniversary I really and truly realized how much my husband adores me and loves me for everything that I am and that he appreciates everything I do. I have started to realize how important I am to my sister and even (recently) to my blog readers. It’s a refreshing change for me – still not entirely believed of course – but getting there.

  29. [...] from Others Posted on September 5, 2010 by tarynehanson Today’s message for 30 Days of Self Love is very emotional for me. Tina asks that we really think about the people [...]

  30. andrea says:

    reading this brought me to tears. feeling loved and accepting and realizing love from others is something i’ve always struggled with. this post has opened my eyes and heart. i am so thankful you shared this message with everyone. <3

  31. [...] more here: FAITH, FITNESS, FUN » Blog Archive » 30 days of self love – love … Click here to visit WP Robot. Click here to visit [...]

  32. Oh god I’m tearing up- this was really touching. I admire you for putting your story out there & I know a lot of people can relate. Thanks for inspiring me :)

  33. Lindsey says:

    Thanks Tina. That was awesome. You have an amazing gift for expressing yourself. Love you girl.

  34. Julie says:

    Today was a good one. At first, I didn’t think today’s topic would affect me so much – I feel pretty darned loved as it is. But then I got to REALLY thinking…and it was a valuable day for me! I went into it more on my blog, but basically it got me to reach out to a friend that I’ve really needed to reach out to and if nothing else happens this month, TODAY was huge for me for many reasons!

  35. Brittany P. says:

    This was a great topic for me to reflect on today. I am truly blessed to be loved by so many people, however the one person I thought of immediately was my baby brother and how much he cares about me. I use the term baby loosely, he’s about to turn 14…but there are 9 years between us. He is the youngest and I am the oldest of the 4 siblings. Still, him & I have had such a strong connection since the day he came home from the hospital. He truly believes that I can do anything, that I’m this “super” sister that can help him whenever he needs it. Him and I hang out any chance we get…still I wish I saw him more often. He loves me unconditionally and trusts me with such an innocence, it’s overpowering. I just wish I could see in myself what he’s sees sometimes. What’s funny though….as much as he looks up to me, I don’t think he has any idea how much I look up to him. He is one awesome almost 14 year old :)

    • Tina says:

      This reminds me of my husband and his younger brother. They are 14 years apart, but man do they love each other. The love of family can be such a special thing. Thanks for sharing that! :)

  36. Mac says:

    I have definitely had my days where I felt as if no one in the world cared about me, this happened to me a lot in high school, especially after a particularily bad breakup. Since high school I have tried to keep a better perspective on life and always try to remember that though boys may come in go, family is ALWAYS there no matter what… my family always cares about me! Now I have a fantastic boyfriend and he shows me everyday that he loves, adores and cares about me more than anything in the world, and I feel the same way.

  37. [...] 30 DSLR from Tina really moved me, but before I do my write up and reflection let’s talk [...]

  38. Leah says:

    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post.

  39. Ela says:

    Whoa it got so late! Here’s the truncated version of what I was hoping to say on this.

    Thank you so much again – this was really powerful.
    love
    Ela
    http://www.faithfitnessfun.com/3900/30-days-of-self-love-love-from-others/

  40. Wow. I need to sit and digest this one for a while. Not sure if I’ll put it in my blog, because the Boyfriend reads the blog (at least I think he does). But it’s definitely worth thinking about.

    He tells me he loves me, and I think he really does … but there’s a part of me that wonders … why? What do I do for him?

    And then I go and watch silly romantic comedies that make me wonder if he really does love me. He doesn’t make those grand gestures like the guys in the movies (or even the heroes in the books I write).

    Guess that’s an occupational hazard of being a romance writer, eh?

    • Tina says:

      “Occupational hazard” – makes sense. I used to get so caught up in romance and things too. Now, I see how much it matters just to be given some free time by my husband watching M for me. Or him helping with the dishes.

      Yesterday our worship service was all about caring for our family and loved ones. Peter & I had a good discussion about it afterwards and he mentioned that acts of caring usually involve doing something for someone else to fulfill them, even if its not something you necessarily really want to do. So the simple gestures of helping each other out speak more volumes than the crazy things in movies. My husband isn’t the most romantic, creative guy in the world. It used to bother me, and sure its still nice to have, but I feel more loved and valued knowing how he helps my needs be met. Sorry for the ramble!

  41. [...] will bring us. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on today’s topic, just like every day. Yesterday was especially touching to read your comments after sharing so deeply. Your comments all pull at my [...]

  42. homecookedem says:

    I only wish I saw myself through the eyes of Andrew. He has seen me at my biggest and smallest and of course all sizes in between. But he’s never EVER once changed the way he loves me b/c of it. He loves me unconditionally – he doesn’t care what size I am. He loves me for the me inside and he always tells me I’m beautiful – even when I wake up in the morning with no make-up and bed hair! If I loved myself in that same way all the time, how awesome would that be! Well, I’m definitely working towards it and have made a lot of progress!! :)

    • Tina says:

      You certainly have made progress! I know you already had done so much even before we met, but I can see a brighter light and self-love you even since then. You are beautiful, Em! Inside and out.

      We need to get together again soon. :) When things calm down a bit for you from school.

  43. [...] been closely following the 30 days of self-love movement over at Faith, Fitness and Fun and a post Tina wrote over the weekend totally struck a chord with [...]

  44. You know how much this post means to me right now, and at the same time, how hard it is to read. With my friend taking his own life, it brings up such a troubling mix of emotions. Feeling like, I’m not nearly the person he was, and not nearly as many people like me, and I’m not where I thought I would be in so many aspects of my life (but who ever is?), and if he thought his life wasn’t worth living, with everything that he had going for him? I don’t know, it makes me feel like I shouldn’t be satisfied with my life? (don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere)

    On the flip side, this wonderful man, who thought he was worth so little, has brought out hundreds of supporters. You should see the messages of love, prayers, and memories that appear on his siblings’ facebook wall. It truly shows that even in that obviously dark place, you can be loved by many more people than you can ever know. I wish we knew when others needed to hear that we loved them. Too often, we let it slide until it’s too late. Hopefully by next week I’ll be able to be there for all those people in my life. For now, I really need to reflect on this message and try to let it pull me out of the doldrums of this week.

  45. Marcia says:

    Great post and question!

    I probably need to dig deeper with this one…. ;) But I have always felt love from the people that should love me. Even though my mother left her 3 kids behind due to an addiction–I don’t think I ever felt she did not love us–I have my dad to thank for that. He always told us that “you will never find a better mother than your mom. She has always loved you and always will.” If he had not said this a lot while I was growing up, I might have some major issues right now. I am so happy that he did not bad mouth her or even ignore what happened. He has been very open about her addiction and that has helped to shape the person that I am today.
    Whew–guess I dug deeper here that I did in my blog post! :)
    Love you Tina!
    http://healthylivingadventures.blogspot.com/2010/09/30-days-of-self-love-love-from-others.html

  46. [...] as Tina said in her blog post here, I do not mean that you should value your self worth based on how others feel about you, but rather [...]

  47. tears are streaming down my face. I spent the day with a friend I pray that I remember those who would and do drop everything to be by my side- I pray that I remember they have a reason to love me

  48. This will be a topic I definitely see myself going on and on about…and I’ll be sure to blog it, Tina.

    First, let me just say, I love your openness. I cannot even begin to picture you so depressed that you felt the need to take your own life. Your love for God and for yourself and others is truly inspiring and it’s totally contagious, which makes it so hard to believe you were once in a dark place. I believe that most times, it takes a dark place to lift people up…it’s not taken for granted.

    Second, men. Men are where I’ve searched for “love”. My father was an alcoholic and was in the military when I was growing up…and completely unfaithful. My parents are finally (I know, horrible word) getting a divorce after 30 years of marriage, because he cheated on my mother again. She finally had it…and she’s opened her eyes to who he really is…which has been enlightening for her. What’s so hard for me right now, is that I’ve blocked out my childhood’s painful moments…except for the REALLY bad ones. Now, I’m going through the entire process again, watching my father give us ALL up. He’s made it quite apparent that his new girlfriend’s family is top priority…and here’s where I’ve learned something:

    My husband, even with all his little flaws that drive me nuts some days, is WONDERFUL. I am truly lucky to have him in my life. I’ll never forget the moments that my mother has been on the phone with me, talking to me about what my father does to hurt her…and I realized I can’t relate. All those times I felt like he didn’t think I was beautiful? It was ME. Not him. He didn’t look in the mirror and check himself out before commenting on how beautiful I love. He thanks me for lunches I make. He helps me with the house, etc. etc. etc. It was those times, where I couldn’t relate to my mother – and had been thinking all along that I COULD – that I realized that H has filled a void that I’ve had in my life.

  49. [...] are the 30 Days posts from Saturday through Monday. TRUSTING YOUR BODY   /   LOVE FROM OTHERS   /   DO WE IDOLIZE OUR [...]

  50. wow this was a really great post, so glad you made sure to point it out and I didn’t miss it. I can’t even put in to words exactly what I’m thinking or feeling about this because I have been feeling so sad and lonely lately…so suffice to just say for right now thank you. I know without a doubt I am loved.

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Catch Up With Recent Posts

Announcement Time

Posted: November 23, 2011 at 7:47 am

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Posted: November 20, 2011 at 11:47 am

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Announcement

Posted: November 17, 2011 at 3:36 pm

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Posted: November 16, 2011 at 7:54 am

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From Beginning To End

Posted: November 15, 2011 at 11:53 am

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