30 days of self love – loving others

Posted: September 18, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Since its Saturday, and I know we’re all busy and living our lives on the weekends, I will make this post as short and sweet as possible. Just enough to get the message across and help us go out and do just what we should be doing – living. And enjoy ourselves and those who love us! :)

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I have already shared how important it is to recognize others’ love for us. You might remember that one. It was probably my personal favorite of this series because I felt it so deeply. Accepting love from others can threaten the walls we build around ourselves. We fear breaking down all our defenses because it may reveal our weakness, hurt, and shame. We cannot keep those defenses though. Not only do they make it hard to accept love from others, but they also make it hard to give love to others.

When I lived my life secluded in the hard shell of depression, binging, and negativity, not only could I not see others reach out to me but I didn’t want to reach out to them. I hated my loneliness  but I put on a happy face as much as possible to appease others so they wouldn’t come too close. I felt I had no love to give.

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My faith and allowing myself to attempt new relationships played a large part in opening my eyes to the importance of loving others. It started with loving Peter and not wanting to hurt him. It grew with not wanting to pretend in front of others. It grew even more when I got more involved in the church and built up amazing relationships there. Not only did I learn people could care about me, but also I cared about them. Doing things to uplift them helped me feel good too. Then it became this never-ending cycle that continued to build upon itself.

Now, I love hard. I care so greatly for the obvious contenders – my husband and my children (even the unborn one bumping around inside of me and causing my back grief), my parents and siblings, my close friends. I also truly love people I’ve never even met. You all. I feel blessed to have met some of you and hope to get the chance to meet each one of you, but even if our paths never physically cross I honestly don’t know what I would do without you and wish the best for each of you. I hope you know that.

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I even extend my love to strangers. I believe in random acts of kindness, the power of a smile, and how a polite conversation with someone for even just one minute can make a difference. And I always feel better about the world and myself after such actions. The only way to feel love deep down is to give it and receive it. It’s what we were made to do. If we deny that part of ourselves something will always feel missing, making it that much harder to fully love ourselves.

How are you going to show love to someone this weekend? We have numerous people in our lives to love…be open to all! Have a fabulous Saturday!

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41 Comments to “30 days of self love – loving others”
  1. Susan says:

    I love the concept that you can’t love others until you learn to love yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one, and only once you’ve got that down can you have full and open relationships with others.

    Throughout my healthy living journey I’ve learned to love and get along with myself a lot more. Through that, my bond with both my parents and sisters have strengthened. The best way to describe it is that those relationships are now “rich” where as before they were just “shallow.” Not being riddled with self-doubt and self-hatred can do amazing things in the ability to open up to others. On the other hand, learning to love myself gave me the strength to let go of a relationship that wasn’t in my best interest. I think it can go both ways.

  2. Heather says:

    What a nice post, just what I needed to read this morning! Have a great weekend!

    Oh, and I’m going to show some love around this weekend by spending a night with friends and enjoying dinner and good company.

  3. Becca says:

    Oh my goodness! God has awesome timing. I just finished up helping at a Junior High event, and one of the things we talked about was love! It was a good reminder for me, and I hope the kids got the point, too. (God is love, love God, love others, love your neighbor as yourself, etc.)
    Part of how I’ve already shown love this weekend was spending the night with nearly two dozen JH girls. I only got about two hours of sleep, and had to remind them many times that it was bedtime! But I was loving by laughing and answering a few questions and just spending time with them.
    Tomorrow night I get to spend time with 9th grade girls! =)

    • Tina says:

      I’m sure they appreciated everything you gave them! Have fun with the 9th grade girls. So important to show love to girls that age.

  4. Dawn says:

    Lovely post and one that hit close to home to me. Thank you for this series, Tina; lots to think about ….

  5. I’m going to show love to my dogs by taking them for a walk :-)

  6. What a great question! There are so many people in my life about whom I care so much, and it would be so wonderful to do something special for each and every one. I will have to think about this (and don’t even worry I’ll totally let blogworld in on my decision lol).

    Also, on the topic, it is sooo easy for me to give love to everyone except for those with whom I am romantically involved. That love is so special and sacred, and sometimes I am so afraid of screwing it up that I don’t want to deal with it at all!

  7. [...] Tina had a great post today about loving others and how it truly make you a happier person. I couldn’t agree more! I truly feel blessed to have such a great group of people to love in my life- friends, family, Mike and even Clifford. I look forward to catching up with people and even more finding out what is going on in their lives. [...]

  8. Kat says:

    Hmmm since I am feeling not so hot and my hubby is out of town this weekend, sharing my love is going to be quite difficult! My inlaws live down the street though so I think I may head over there and spend some time with them :) Maybe I will make them so muffins or cookies. They love my baked goods!

  9. the message I get from you today: to love others you must love yourself, and when you show love it has a positive effect on them AND you. :)

    I showed Jason and Basil love by taking them on a long lovely walk this morning :) and tomorrow we’re having a fun lunch with my Dad. :)

    Have a fantastic weekend Tina !!

  10. amy says:

    I always try to talk to strangers. Whether its complimenting them or just saying hi or smiling. It makes me feel better too and I love it when I see them smile.

  11. L<3VE « says:

    [...] limited number of pictures on my computer, but I have a very unlimited amount of love inside of me. Tina’s post reminded me of the importance of saying it out loud, in writing, on a blog. <3s, hugs, and [...]

  12. Melodie says:

    This is a great post. I have a super hard time with this. So frustrating. Just when I feel like I am making progress, something happens and I just put those walls right back up and go into defense mode. Praying things change for good soon :)

    I just LOVE your blogs and look forward to reading them everyday!! Thank you so much for doing this :o )

    • Tina says:

      Our defense mechanisms may not ever fully go away. Keep on praying and allowing them to come down time and time again. Eventually it will become more natural. ;)

  13. Melodie says:

    Oh… and I will do something for my assistant at work daughter. She is a blessing, only 7 years old, but terribly overweight… the sweetest thing ever… she draws me pictures to hang on my wall at work :) I bought her a little gift last week and intend to do the same thing again this week. Her mom is a single mom and money is tight, so finding things to do to encourage her also!!

  14. Dana says:

    Love God. Love people. And love hard. The most fulfilling and beautiful things you can in life. Well said.

    • Tina says:

      What life is all about. I really like this message one of our pastors shared once. It was all about finding JOY in each day. And by JOY, he meant we should ask if we …

      loved Jesus
      loved Others
      loved Yourself.

      I always think of that! :)

  15. homecookedem says:

    I have so much love in me, I feel like I’m bursting at the seams!! God is so good to me every single day, he blesses me more than I deserve. Andrew never ceases to amaze me with how great of a husband he is. My baby has no idea just how much I love and think about him and dream about his future. My family and friends are so supportive and loving and I hope they all know how much I love them in return. Love, love, love… it’s all ya need!! :)

  16. i truly don’t believe that i could 100% love others until i finally learned how to love myself. i loved other parts of people, but it wasn’t something that was wholly possible until i could love myself for exactly who i am!

  17. I agree with you about random acts of kindness. They make me feel good and I can see that the person receiving also feels good.

    Yes, to truly love others I need to love myself, which is a work in progress :( But I do show my love to Jason by telling him so, holding is hand, kissing him, making his meals, smiling at him, etc.

  18. Two ways, two days:

    Saturday ~ I helped an old (and newfound again via facebook) friend move after making a tough decision to split from her husband. Tough day. But so great to reconnect, and talking with her mom (who was like another mom to me during my grade school days) made me really miss my mom, which takes me to…

    Sunday ~ my sisters and nieces will be walking in the Portland Race for the Cure, something we began many, many years ago when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. After her death 6 years ago we avoided the race some years because it brought forth many memories, and tears. But, despite some family distancing, we’re coming back together tomorrow. Mom would like that.

    God’s peace to you all…Love hard every chance you get.

    • Tina says:

      I hope you feel your Mom’s love today as you participate. You’re right that it would likely make her happy. And it supports each other, which shows love and makes you all stronger. :)

      Have a great day!

  19. i always love your positive posts, theres so much good information and inspiring writing that i cant help but remember throughout the day!! im taking this post “with me” through my day and showing my mom i love her by not being snappy with her, trying to understand where she is coming from before i make a judgement <3

    btw. i loved ur last post on 'labeling diets/lifestyles' … when you answered the "what are you?" question with "I am me!".. WOW, the best way of putting it!!!

    xoxo

  20. [...] reading here: FAITH, FITNESS, FUN » Blog Archive » 30 days of self love – loving … Click here to visit WP Robot. Click here to visit [...]

  21. Jennifer says:

    I know I’m late on this one, but I nurtured my relationships this weekend. I attended the Crossfit challenge my best friend was in and she was so glad I came, then I went running with another amazing friend, then I babysat my little nephew :) I had such a great day! It’s amazing how personal connections can rejuvenate!
    And Tina, I was thinking a lot about what you wrote to me the other day…about how resisting one binge at a time will keep making me stronger…and last night, after such a great day, when I had the chance to binge I chose to resist! I was so happy waking up this morning! Thank you. Your “I believe in you” was ringing in my ears all day yesterday. I’m glad you’re getting so much out of the blog too, because you’re definitely giving all of us the world in return!

    • Tina says:

      Sounds like a really great weekend!

      And I’m SO happy to hear that you resisted the binge. Take that strength with you and apply it to the next time. Remember…you can say no and have control. You’re awesome!

  22. Lovely post, Tina! I showed my love to my friends and my little goddaughter today :)

  23. [...] Check out this weekend’s 30 Days of Self Love posts!! Stop Fat Talk (including my personal experience from yesterday) and Loving Others. [...]

  24. [...] Posted on September 20, 2010 by daysonebyone| Leave a comment [This is in response to the Saturday prompt for 30 Days of Self Love at Faith, Fitness, [...]

  25. Kristy says:

    I love every single clip art you have chosen for this project! They all seem perfect for each topic!

  26. [...] topic is definitely the latter. It is: Loving others. I have already shared how important it is to recognize others’ love for us. Accepting love from [...]

  27. Deborah says:

    You will be relieved to know there won’t be any over-sharing this time (unlike the ‘Love from Others’ post).

    I pondered on today’s topic and wondered how I show others I love them. Of course it begged the question… did I show them.

    I didn’t put it in my blog (because my mother reads it) but I went and bought a sooky card for her and posted it earlier.

    Recently my parents came to visit for a reunion; and they stayed on a few more days and my mother was a tremendous help in tidying up my place to put it on the market. She is constantly there for me. She is also my dad’s carer and under a lot of pressure.

    So, while I thanked her for being here, she loves cards and I wanted to send her a sweet one to say ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’.

    http://dietschmiet.wordpress.com/2011/07/14/30-days-day-18-loving-others/

    Deb

    • Tina says:

      I bet she will appreciate that so much! As a mom, I know the littlest things mean the world to me as tokens of appreciation.

  28. [...] this post short and sweet, but today’s reflection on self-love has to do with loving others. Tina asks: “How are you going to show love to someone this weekend? We have numerous people in our [...]

  29. Xandria says:

    I guess I also show love through my genuine nature. I love to make friends. And I love to speak to people and get to know them. And I am a very, VERY loyal friend.

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