Guilty?
Posted: January 28, 2010 at 8:26 pmBefore I get to the title of my post, I want to do a quick recap of how my day is going. It has been a pretty low-key one. I, of course, spent a good bit of time hanging out with this gorgeous girl...
And also did some reading. I finished this book...
Weight of Silence
And what is a finished book without a review for those of you who enjoy reading. The story is about two little girls that go missing one day and how the day unfolds. Each chapter is from a different character's perspective, which makes it very interesting. In all honesty, not a lot happened and I expected it to be more of a mystery and suspenseful novel. Despite all that, I could not could not could not put this book down. It kept me wanting to see what would happen next and learn more about the characters. The story was pretty emotional and the stories of each character are very intriguing. I give it 4/5 🙂
The remainder of the day will consist of heading to the gym for a full body workout and some cardio. While planning out my workout for today, I realized that I will not be able to do my usual Friday workout tomorrow as I have a Mom Group visit in the morning and then have to get prettified and head out for a wedding rehearsal dinner in the afternoon. I took yesterday off, per the usual of my 5 day workout schedule, and when considering that I began to feel a pang of guilt. I could have still gotten in 5 workouts this week if I planned ahead. Well, I quickly got over it because my only focus right now is to live a healthy lifestyle and 4 days of workouts in a week is still pretty darn good if you ask me. However, that quick pang did get me thinking. How many of us women who aspire to be fit and healthy feel guilt over a missed workout?
I know in the past I would flip out over a messed up workout schedule. I felt like was failing and would ruin all of my progress by not staying on plan. Years ago, I would push myself to work out every day for at least 1.5 hours/day. What results did that get me? Honestly, nothing because of other negative things going on in my mind and a very bad (binge) relationship with food. But that's a whole other topic 😉 Today I was sick to my stomach remembering that time of my life. I was not a happy person and putting so much emphasis on fitness ended up with me not even being fit and healthy. How is it healthy to participate in negative self talk because of not making it to the gym or on that run? How healthy is it to push yourself to do something and ignore an injury, an obligation to someone/something you care about, or your body's need to rest?
What does it mean to live a healthy lifestyle? In my opinion, a healthy lifestyle is one that is balanced. It is about physical health, but also (and more importantly) it is about mental and emotional health. What benefit can guilt possibly have? I see it causing unnecessary stress and anxiety. I see it making a fit lifestyle unenjoyable because who wants to workout to avoid feeling guilty? Where's the fun in that?! I see it keeping someone from getting the adequate amount of rest needed for proper muscle recovery. I see it as something that will keep a person from spending time with friends and loved ones because they have to get that workout in. I see it hindering emotional ties because the life of the person revolves around being 'perfect' with food and training. I've been there and lived it.
If you never missed a workout and never felt guilty because you were always 100% on your game plan, I don't think I would envy you that. Things happen and can get in the way - through illness, other obligations, exhaustion, different opportunities, etc - that it is basically impossible for someone to NEVER miss a workout. It's called life and I don't know about you, but I like having one outside of the gym. By no means am I saying that being disciplined is a negative thing. It is, in fact, a very admirable thing and something we should all strive for. The difference is in how we react when things don't go our way and part of our plan doesn't get to happen. Do we make the best of it, adjust if possible, and move on? Or do we dwell, sulk, feel poorly about ourselves, and think we have failed? I think we MUST look at our week/month/year as a whole and how our lifestyle is. If you can say that you exercise regularly, then there should be no hard feelings for taking a day, a few days, a few weeks if needed off. Guilt won't get you anywhere in the long run. So take pride in being fit and healthy...which means having no guilt and smiling because you make the best out of your LIFE and not just your workouts. 🙂
Do you feel guilty when you miss a workout? How do you overcome it?
Hey Tina,
I was just talking about this today in my blog because I had an unexpected injury and couldn’t make it to the gym. I think the difference between me now and me previously is that now I hate missing workouts because I love the way they make me feel. Just clear headed and ready to face the day. I no longer feel guilty about not being able to burn the extra cals, or that I’m not “good” enough because I didn’t make it to the gym every day. Know what i mean?
I know exactly what you mean 🙂 There is a BIG difference between being bummed to miss a workout and being down on yourself for missing a workout. One is external and the other is internal. It’s so liberating to make that switch isn’t it? 😉
Oh my gosh. Talk about mindreading. I just got home from work and was taking 5 min to veg and decide and read a couple out of my reader. and I was freaking about the time because I want to get in three miles today, but I also have to meet my husband in an hour, 20 min away (looking presentable). I’ve been so good about my workouts this week! Ack I’ll ruin it! But I’m starving and even though it would help my “numbers”. I know it wouldn’t be a good run and I’ll be late and rushed. But I’m ruining it!
Deep breath, thanks for publishing at the moment I needed to hear it. I’m gonna walk the dogs around the block and call it a good day. 🙂
Great post, Tina! 🙂
yes, I still sometimes have that ‘negative voice’ when things don’t go as planned. I just try and over come it day by day and do the best that I can!
I used to freak out over a missed workout, btu not anymore. Like you siad, I learned that ONE workout doesnt really matter much or change much in the scheme of things….now, its just easier to relax.
i am guilty of feeling that way too sometimes.. but really we all have to remember that one day doesn’t make a difference. it’s all about a healthy lifestyle and that means giving yourself days off when you need to 🙂
Hi Tina- Sorry your having or had such a hard time with this. However, I think your spot on. It is great that you recognize this and that the “guilt” and such over exercise and or food can really be an unhealthy thing mentally. I used to get that way too, I had those feelings. It wasn’t really until recently, having to take 3 WHOLE months off the gym did I finally get that it didn’t matter, I don’t think that I would have gotten that if I hadn’t had to go through this experience though. Now it seems so silly to me that I would fret over missing one stupid workout, it could have been worse, I could have missed (like I did 3 months) so those random days here and there are meaningless, and don’t matter one bit. I would even argue at some level working out 5 days a week might be overkill. I guess it all depends on the person and situation. But life should not stop, nor revolve around the gym, or food, rather family, friends, work, ect ect.
Anyways, good posting and like you said, others that appear to have it so “strict” and set up, well are really missing out, at some level.
I do sometimes wish I could run everyday. But, I am reassured by every training schedule that I find because they all post 3 day per week running sched. I reassure myself that it’s okay to have “off days”. So I run 3 days each week and lift, do abs and the elliptical or bike the other 3 days.
Tina, I loved this post. Your post really speaks to every woman out there, and esp that twisted perception of what a real healthy lifestyle is. It’s not just about the outward actions, but about the inner healthy condition of the mind and spirit, too.
That said, I do tend to feel crappy if I miss a workout, but it is more biological than mental. I get very sleepy that day I miss my morning runs, for some reason!
What a great post. I enjoying reading it and thinking about all what you said.
I am a very controlling person by nature and generally like to feel ‘in control’. This could be a good thing as I am very hard working and very dedicated to what I do, but also a bad thing as I can be too hard on myself. I have learned over the years to relax about life and don’t stress about missed workout or skipped meal. It has taken sometime though and is something I still have to work on now and again. 🙂
I only feel guilty if I miss a work out if I don’t have a reason; if it is just because I am being lazy. If I find myself sitting at home doing nothing instead of going. But sometimes, life and fun things get in the way! And I would feel worse missing time spent with great friends than a date with a treadmill, I can always work a little harder the next day =)
Tina – great post and two things:
1) I just read The Weight of Silence and felt the same – could not put it down. The book doesn’t have a ton of “depth” to it, but it’s a page turner and I agree with you assessment.
2) I was feeling guilty about missing workouts earlier this week b/c I had to work late, but decided to just let it go. Not making my training mileage is not the end of the world. I have a goal time in mine for my next marathon, so training is definitley important, but it should never make me feel bad.
I can totally relate to this – I’ve been sick this week with a bad cold and haven’t been able to walk far without feeling exhausted so a workout has been out of the question.
I’ve felt tremendous guilt over what has essentially been a wasted week (exercise-wise)!
Hi Tina! Thanks for stopping by my blog; I can’t wait to look around yours! Ok, I’m pretty sure I followed your entire pregnancy on the Oxygen forums! Crazy! As soon as I saw your pic at the top, I was like, “That’s Tina!” Have a good weekend 🙂
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Amanda Elliot, anewsweetness. anewsweetness said: more wonderful food for thought on fitness and health – http://www.faithfitnessfun.com/421/guilty/ via @TinaFF […]
I’m pretty sure this is my favorite post I’ve ever read on any blog! I am definitely showing characteristics of someone who is getting obsessed with working out and eating perfectly, to the point where relationships are being put on the back burner. I will be re-reading this post a couple times and doing some self-reflection and praying. I definitely want to enjoy life outside of trying to be perfect in both food and exercise. Or else I will wake up one day and realize I’ve wasted so much of my life worrying about how flat my stomach is…not cool at all!