a big change

Posted: November 12, 2010 at 8:00 pm

Life brings many changes. I sit here tonight with only 10 weeks left until my official due date. Something about reaching that 10 week countdown makes it feel so much closer. I can see the light at the end of this physically painful and emotionally draining tunnel.

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As excited as I feel, I also have some reservations. Will baby B be as laid back as little M was? Will breastfeeding go relatively smoothly? Will he sleep for longer stretches sooner rather than later? Will this labor and delivery be harder than the less than 6 hours I experienced with Makenzie? I’m thinking likely yes on that one.

Funnily enough, I didn’t have many concerns about those types of things before Makenzie. I wondered more about the big picture. How would my life change? Was I ready to be a MOM?!?

I learned that life didn’t have to drastically change. It took some time, but I realized that I could still be my own person and live my own life. Yes, I could still have a life while being a mother…an even better one.

I had heard the clichéd “you don’t know what truly unconditional love is until you have a child” statement before. I am now a cliché. I never knew I could love so much. I never thought I could physically ache over another person’s wellness. Not just sympathy, but deep-down-to-the-guts-and-bones empathy. I’ve already shared numerous times how having Makenzie motivated me to become the best version of myself possible and brought much personal growth. It all came from that love.

I gained new perspective on what truly mattered and spent more time in those things. I laughed more than I ever had. I still laugh numerous times a day from her antics. I get to do things like a kid again. Holidays, traditions, trips to the grocery store, visits to the park, etc, etc, etc all hold such opportunity and simple joy. To put it plainly, life became more fun.

I won’t deny that some changes came. Financially things changed, as I decided to stay home from work and, let’s face it, kids cost moolah. We didn’t have as much disposable income for things like home projects we hoped to accomplish or traveling. We had to set budgets and more closely watch our spending. We may no longer have the freedom to purchase things we desire without much thought, but I don’t view it as a sacrifice. With love, you make things work. So, we do and are  happier for it.

I guess that is all I need to remember now, as well. With love, you make things work. I will do just that as I adjust to two, even if it creates more of a challenge than I had the first time around. A special thanks to Chelsey for prompting this discussion with her question for the Q + A series!

  • What is the biggest change you have encountered in your life so far?
  • What changes concern you the most about becoming a mother? Or, if you are already a mom, what changes were the hardest for you?

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31 Comments to “a big change”
  1. You are making me baby hungry now!! The biggest change for me was getting married and graduating college all in the same week!! I was a little bit stressed out!!
    My biggest reservations for the future of becoming a mother is SLEEP!! I am not a happy camper without it!
    Great post!

  2. Yay! 10 weeks!!! Definitely, becoming a mother changes EVERYTHING!!! I just always wonder if I am doing it right, you know? I try to teach them right from wrong and help them grow up to be open minded free thinking individuals. I hope it turns out that way. It’s funny, they are completely opposite, but they are both great in their own ways.

    Dang girl, 6 hours…I went 37 with Jay and I don’t even want to start with how bad Max’s was. I hope your second goes faster too!

  3. Lisa says:

    How exciting for you! Macenzie and your baby are so lucky to have such a wonderful mommy!

  4. Lindsay says:

    You will make it work once you have Baby B. I am not a mother and I am no where near having children, but I do know that I am currently going through something that will change my life forever. My parents are splitting and I know that this will cause things to change financially and emotionally for me. Hopefully in time things will normalize, but until then I will just keep rolling and wait till things get better!! :)

    • Tina says:

      I’m sorry to hear that you and your family are facing that, Lindsay. You sound like you have a good outlook and hope for the best. Let me know if you ever need anything or want to talk/email/vent.

  5. I was JUST talking to my boyfriend* about this topic! I have experienced more change and growth in the past four years than in the previous eighteen combined. Walking into my freshman (but my junior) year dorm building was the catalyst of so so so much change in my life. Going to college, meeting Dan, having an eating disorder, graduating early, the economic crash, recovery, my first job, being laid off from that job, teaching, etcetcetc. I have become a person TOTALLY different from the 18 year old who entered that dorm building. It has been hard to grapple with the fact that I can never get that girl back, but, at the same time, I am grateful to have had such a rich four years.

    *frantically texting my boyfriend at 3:30AM

  6. Oh and LABOR is my BIGGEST concern about motherhood! Otherwise I would be poppin’ babies left and right! Labor sounds terrifying.

  7. chelsey says:

    This was such a beautiful post, and I was so surprised when I got down to the end of it knowing I sparked something foryou to write it! :)

    My biggest concern is not being able to get pregnant. Honestly – it frightens me all the time. But other than that, I really don’t know if I have any concerns. I have wanted to have kids since I knew that I COULD have a kid. :)

  8. Camille says:

    I guess my biggest worry in becoming a mother some day is that I wont be naturally inclined to motherhood. I’m scared I will do something wrong! I guess that’s parenthood though :)

    • Tina says:

      Yep, that’s parenthood. It’s a big responsibility and there is always doubt, questions, etc about the job you are doing. I feel it all the time, but just focus on doing my best and loving my all.

  9. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tina Reale, Tina Reale. Tina Reale said: a big change: Life brings many changes. I sit here tonight with only 10 weeks left until my official due date. S… http://bit.ly/951civ [...]

  10. katie says:

    oh WOW I am so incredibly excited for you! seriously. you are such an amazing mom and amazing woman. parenting is SCARY to me, but I know i will need Gods help ALL THE TIME!

  11. This post is beautiful, and you are a beautiful mother and a beautiful woman.

  12. Shannon says:

    Noah has definitely been the biggest (and best!) change in my life. I worry that I won’t know what to do for him at different stages, but so far, he is tolerating the trial and error of a first time mom very well :) . He’s such a good baby!

  13. I am so excited for you to become a mom to 2 beautiful babies! I think the thing that scares me about being a mom is what excites me the most also, how much my husband’s life and mine will change. I can’t wait to find out one day.

  14. Morgan says:

    Being a mom is my most recent and best change ever! I was worried about losing myself, but I feel more in touch with who I am in just a month! I have more self confidence, and pride than ever before. I have been able to continue being me, and have a life! I took the mindset that he came into my life, not the other way around and that has made all the difference. We get out, we play, we meet people and we have fun. I’ve never been so challenged, but I love it.

  15. Becky says:

    Christina, your posts ALWAYS serve as a positive point in my day and a reminder of what matters most in life. It’s funny, being only 8 weeks and some change into motherhood, it has definitely been a huge change, but I’m not sure it has been the BIGGEST change in my life. Which probably sounds weird. I mean, yes, everything changed, but I think what made it seem relatively easy is the fact that I handled the change so much differently than I would have maybe 2-3 years ago. Probably my biggest change in life has been getting married and moving away from my hometown and my family. Some days, I didn’t even want to get out of bed, I was so depressed. But after a few years, I gathered myself up and realized how blessed I was. My husband was consumately there for me, thank the Lord. After realizing that change is good and can take us to bigger and better things in life, I was a lot more relaxed when motherhood approached. The biggest revelation about becoming a mom, though, was the love thing. It’s like you say – you become absolutely and completely immersed in a love unlike any other. The way I feel about God, about life and death, about my husband, about my family, about myself…it has all changed, and I’m just surrendered to that change and embracing it. I feel smarter since becoming a mother…not smarter than other people, just smarter than the girl I was before. I left that girl in the parking lot at the hospital and she’s still wandering around there somewhere perhaps, but I will never see or be her again. I became someone else when I met my son, and I love that.

  16. Nichole says:

    This is going to be the best Christmas present ever:)

  17. SO exciting! I always said I’d never have kids, but reading this like this make me second guess myself. I’m sacred I’m too self-ish. :(

  18. I can’t even imagine what becoming a mom does to a woman. I have seen how it changed my sister, and feel the emotion in your post. One life-changing event for me was the death of a dear friend. She was murdered. I ended up sitting through her trial as well. Life changed in a way that can never be undone.

  19. Oh Tina, you nailed it right on the head with this one. Hannah was my first baby, and my heart grew a million times larger. I remember when I found out about Maddie, I thought, “How in the world will I ever love someone as much as I love Hannah?!” That was the only thing I was worried about. During labor, I kept thinking, “Please God, let me love her as much as I love my Hannie.”

    Oh my goodness, I never ever knew there could be so much MORE room for love! Honestly, being a mother has been the most fulfilling part of my life.

    The hardest change is trying to get them on the same schedule. Naps? Oy! Maddie sleeps better than Hannah did, and I thought Hannah was great! Maddie’s just as good or better.

    And PS: The labor? SO much easier the second time around! Maddie was 3″ longer and 2 pounds heavier than Hannah, and she was so much easier!

  20. Dorry says:

    I’m thankful to have blogs like yours to continue reading once Billy and I decide to have kids. I also have learned so much from watching my sisters become mothers in the past 5 years. I think being a mother is the hardest, most important job out there and I admire women who put their kids first…and still find the balance to take care of themselves – obviously crucial. :) I think you do an amazing job.

  21. I really enjoyed this post! I am only 20, but I think I’m most nervous about just being a good mom in general. I can still be selfish sometimes, and I think I’m afraid I won’t be able to sacrifice things for my child.

  22. Me-Linh says:

    I felt like it was just the other day you posted a vlog you were pregnant!

  23. The biggest change for me is being married (I’m still a newlywed) and trying to budget the mortgage, car payments, electric plus five pets–we have no disposable income. We’re trying to save up to have a child in a couple of years so that’s all that really concerns me. That and I know I am NOT going to want to leave my child overnight. I have to travel some for my job. Not cool! But I have a great husband and I know it’ll be OK. Plus Tina, you give so much good advice!

  24. 10 weeks — soo exciting!!

    What a great/honest post, you’re such a beautiful Mother!

    I think for the longest time I didn’t want to have children. Something had definitely changed in the past few months and for the first time I really picture myself having a family and wanting children.

    I’m terrified though about having kids! While most of my friends fear the labor that sounds like the easy part to me. The part that scares me is *everything* after. From knowing how to take care of a baby to being scared I won’t love my baby right away – or that I’ll just be so tired and crazed that I’ll feel like I’m not a natural Mom.

    And then it just gets even scarier thinking about watching my own child grow up and just wanting them to always be safe and always be happy.

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