More Than You Think

Posted: January 14, 2011 at 12:30 pm

From your comments, you all seem to notice the happiness consuming me right now. It’s true. I’m happy! Happy happy happy! I do still have some pain (don’t read the next sentence if can’t handle TMI). My milk has arrived and makes my chest hurt like crazy. I also suffered a 2nd degree tear “down there” during delivery. Despite the pain, and the adjustment, things are so much better than I could have ever anticipated. 

It could have something to do with Braedon being such a sweetheart of a baby. I have not had a single issue nursing him. He sleeps very well. He doesn’t fuss a ton.

It could have something to do with this being our second child. Knowing what to expect makes it feel a lot more manageable. We can figure out his needs and problem solve situations MUCH quicker than we did with a brand new baby M.

It could have something to do with being surrounded by such supportive family and friends. Having people show their love for you always feels good.

In reality, each of those things plays a very significant role in my chipper mood. Something else does as well. The blog.

After giving birth to Makenzie things were hard. Very hard. I teeter-tottered on borderline post-partum depression. I questioned if I was really ready to be a mom and if I had made some sort of massive error. I cried with thoughts that I had nothing left of me. I swung back and forth from extreme highs to very, very extreme lows. Things got better after a couple weeks, but I still felt a bit off and unlike myself.

Taking around 30-45 mins a couple times a day to sit, write, express myself, and put energy into something all my own truly helps. It helps me be a better mom. It helps me be a less emotional and crazy wife. It helps me reflect on the beauty of my life and the overabundance of blessings filling it right now. It helps me keep perspective and not to forget that I matter too. For that reason, I am forever thankful for this space and for you all. It helps more than you can imagine. I do it for me, but I also do it for my family. I do it for me, but I also do it for you. I do it because I love it and can really see the difference it makes. Thank goodness for FFF and its supporters is all I have to say!

Question of the Day – Do you have an activity you really make an effort to have time for yourself? How does it help you?

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59 Comments to “More Than You Think”
  1. Becca says:

    Im starting hot yoga again once a week for a just for me time… while the gym sort of is that to, the gym is more “business” to me, constnatly trying to improve and make gains, whereas with yoga I can relax, zone out and focus on that for a bit.

    Congrats again tina!

    • Tina says:

      I feel you there. Plus in the gym people try to socialize more. Yoga is a lot easier to focus and just get away inside yourself. :)

  2. Awesome!!! Glad you hear you are managing everything so well. You are so inspiring.

  3. Recently, I’ve been doing more reading. Sometimes just sitting cozy in a chair with my phone more than an arms reach away is all I need to feel rejuvinated. And if I happen to fall asleep int he process, that’s just a bonus!

  4. Girl I am SO happy for you. Hugs! I definitely make time for my workouts. They sort of help keep me grounded.

  5. Stephanie says:

    I’m with you Tina! Blogging is a great source of “mommy me” time and I can already tell just a few short weeks into blogging what a difference it makes in my mood! Fitness (any kind really) is also so important to me to keep my stress levels low. :)

    Glad Baby B took to nursing so well!

    • Tina says:

      Those are my two things as well. Blogging and then eventually workouts too. I can fit it in during naps or when someone else is loving on them, so it works out. We’re still there for the kiddos and that’s most important. Especially when we can also be there for ourselves.

  6. Exercise is my “me time.” I’ve noticed that when I make time to run it makes my feel SO much better about my life and everything going on, and much better able to handle stress.

  7. Allie says:

    I am soo glad to hear you are feeling better than after your 1st pregnancy :) you have so much joy in your life!

  8. No, thank YOU, Tina, for all your words and thoughts. So happy to hear you are doing better. You and your family are in my prayers :)
    Blogging, exercising, and reading are each things that I do for myself as time allows. You have to be healthy first to take care of others!

  9. I agree with you! Blogging is my outlet and my time where I can be at peace. I love being able to be creative, write, and connect with so many amazing people! :D

  10. my exercise time is definitely my time – it leaves me feeling accomplished and it works the stress out. i also love curling up with a book and some tea to de-stress.

  11. Awww, I love this, Tina!! In fact I just wrote something very similar today on my blog about how I’ve been able to work through tragedy in my life. Exercise, friends and a little “me-time” really helped me get through the worst periods of my life, and without any medication. It’s amazing how therapeutic it can be….

    I’m so happy for you! You are truly, truly blessed.

    • Tina says:

      Great minds think alike! It’s crazy how that happens where bloggers are reflecting on the same things at the same time. Obviously important messages to share. :)

  12. Great post, Tina!!! I’m so glad to hear that things are going so well, and I’ll admit, even with my first child nowhere on the horizon, I worry about things like that– will I have anything left of me after I have children? Will I struggle to be happy? And, perhaps most worrisome– will I tear *down there* during childbirth (eek!!!)? It’s nice to hear about these things from the perspective of a mother who has and is going through some of them right now. You’re an inspiration!

  13. Kelly says:

    My blog and exercise are the things I just have to make time for to feel my best. When I’m slacking on either, I just don’t feel right. Thank you so much for sharing your pregnancy and post-pregnancy with us! I’ve always wanted to be a mom and look forward to doing so, but there are some things about it that scare me. Reading a first-hand account of the ups and downs, but also how wonderful it is so reassuring. :)

  14. I am so glad things are getting there for you! I agree, the second one is a little easier in figuring out what they need. Sorry about the tear and the sore chest. You know both will go away soon! I am with you, you have to have some “me” time to be able to give your family everything they need. For me it is definitely writing and cooking! I hope you have a great day Tina!

  15. Becca says:

    I have a lot of time to myself, with our family’s schedules—I’m home by myself for most of the day! I spend a lot of my time (probably too much) on the internet, checking email/Twitter/blogs…
    Writing is one of my outlets. If I can sit down and write/type out all my thoughts, it helps me feel better. I used to journal pretty much every day, throughout the day, but then I fell out of it for some reason. Now that I have the blog, I’m getting back into it a little more. And I have a couple of people I can vent to, either in person or by email, which is pretty nice.
    I also like to just read. I haven’t been doing as much reading as I used to, but this week I picked up “The Long Run” and have read a little each day. It’s an intense book, but having some time to sit down and read *something* is really helpful!
    And driving. Singing along to the radio, or just talking to myself (and God) is good, too. Music helps, too. Last night at “band practice” was awesome. I felt so much better after singing along! :)

    Glad everything is going well for you guys! I’m excited to see how everything progresses from here for you—and how B and M grow! :)

  16. Jolene says:

    First – OUCH on the TMI. Hope you heal soon! And I love all the love, happiness and positive vibes just emanating from this post!! I LOVE IT and am so happy for you. Your family sounds amazing and perfect. I’m glad you are able to take some time each day so far, that’s great. My blog too is something I do for me everyday and working out, too. They make me feel centered and grounded.

  17. Glad you’re feeling more like yourself again. My “me time” this year will be spent in the gym and out running.

  18. Yoga was my happy time for a long time. Still is, but I’ve only been practicing once a week. I am going to change that though. I downloaded a bunch of 20 minute workouts last night and am going to do them more often. I just felt better when I was practicing more regularly!

  19. Mandy says:

    I’m so happy to hear this! Makes me feel like there is hope for me in the future ;)

    My “me time”… the gym helps. Getting lost in all things photography helps me too. Both are outlets, truly.

  20. Angela says:

    Your happiness is making ME happy!! Blogging is an activity I’d consider ‘me time’ and it has helped me to express myself creatively, as well as share my passions for health and fitness (and food of course) with others. It has also enabled me to broaden my social circle, learn, and be inspired by other fabulous individuals. :)

  21. I’ m so happy for you :) This is what its all about :)

  22. my activity I HAVE to make time for myself is an obvious one – working out! ;) it makes me feel so much better to get a good sweat sesh in each day.

    I love your happy time. :) It makes me look forward to the time in the far future when I’ll have one of my own!

  23. Jenn (GH) says:

    I happy things are going so well. I enjoy sititng down and writing my blog too. It’s important me time.

  24. Jess says:

    You are OOZING happiness my dear! That is so great – especially given what you went through with M! I am so happy for you, so so happy. As for your question, what do you think my answer is?? Working out of course :)

  25. Melie says:

    Seriously, your posts these last days make me smile :-) You just seem so happy! So, certainly keep posting! I too try to make time to catching up with blogs and running.

  26. chelsey says:

    Blogging helps my emotional/mental health for sure. If I didn’t blog, I would have a creative outlet or tons of people supporting me each and every day!

    I’m so glad you’re feeling well!

  27. Jen says:

    After my first 2 kids were born I went back to work about 8 weeks after they were born, when #3 was born I became a stay at home mom. It was a HUGE adjustment, not only becoming a SAHM, but doing that with 3 kids. I freaked out at first. Had no idea what to do all day, lost myself totally and was in a really bad place. Thankfully I found that just taking naptimes for ME time was just the re-charge that I needed. I now have 2 kids in school all day and my baby will be 3 in a few weeks, but I still use his daily naptime as ME time to just relax, blog, read blogs, watch reality TV, whatever I want :)

    Jen

  28. i definitely feel the same way about my blog too…there have been hard times but ultimately it’s helped me rediscover my loves and who i am!

    and a BIG thank goodness for FFF :)

  29. I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well! And blogs really are such an amazing source of connection, aren’t they?

    Can I ask a TMI question? Does breast feeding hurt as much as I’ve heard? (Feel free to ignore this question if you want!)

  30. That is awesome you are doing well!! It is a lot easier second time around knowing all the things you learned from the first baby and also knowing the sleepless nights are only temporary!
    I feel for you on the engorgment! Warm compresses help so much!! And I remember living off of lanolin the first few weeks!!
    My “me” time is my workouts or facebooking/blogging!

  31. I love reading your blog it is so open and honest! So good to hear you are doing so well! My “me” time is usually spent browsing blogs and scrapbooking. I love reading what others have to say and I always learn so much. I also love remembering different moments through photos so scrapbooking for me is so enjoyable.

  32. Glad to hear that everything is going so well!!

  33. Writing–for ME. I talk about writing all the time and how I love it and I just want to do it for a career yet I so rarely just DO it because so much other stuff gets in the way! Pulling out my journal makes me feel so much better.

  34. Mandy says:

    Wow! You really hit the nail on the head about WHY I’m so scared of becoming a parent-I don’t want to lose my identity! I know myself, I like myself, I don’t want to LOSE myself! It seems a baby is all-consuming and I’ve seen so many of my good girlfriend become nothing like the friends I knew and loved-there always in “mommy” mode!
    Also, I’m starting to really love blogging for the reason it gets thoughts out of my head! My mom said to me the other day “I would never do a blog because it takes up time away from my husband.” BLAH! Everyone needs time to themself and we all need our “own” activities!

  35. Glad to hear things are going so well! I felt it all went more smoothly the second time around, too.

    Making time for pursuing my own interests helps me feel like I’m still “me.”

  36. Rach says:

    So glad to hear that things are going so well this time around! :)

  37. It’s so good to hear a positive story about life with baby #2 :) Sometimes I hear horror stories of how difficult it is, so this gives me hope for some day.

    The activities I make a priority for are exercise and prepping/cooking healthy food. They both help get me through my days with more energy and a better mood :)

    Glad things are going so smoothly at home!

  38. Thanks for sharing about your experience with both babies! I’m so glad that things are better and easier this time.

    Definitely writing and getting behind my camera are huge in my life. If I don’t take time for those two things I start to feel all out of sorts.

  39. wow, not many people can say that they have explored themselves enough to search for something they can actively do to pull them out of sinking into their moods. thats really inspiring for me to read. The funny thing is at first i was going to write that i didnt have anything that helped me.. but then I thought about teaching yoga. Normally, i have a big aversion to work.. or at least the typical work/jobs the majority of people have. i have worked a few sales and restaurant jobs and absolutely dreaded them, always spinning into depression. it wasent until i allowed myself to use yoga teaching not as a job but as a release..it gave me the satisfaction of work, the fulfillment of social interaction and provided me with that boost of self-security and strength. i think currently its “my” thing that i like to do to feel powerful and turn my low spirits around. and like i always say, massages help too haha <3

  40. I’m so amazed at how well you are adjusting to life with two kids. I’m scared to death to add another one to the mix (I have one), but you give me hope that it won’t be as hard as everyone says it is! :-) I’m glad the blog is helping you. It’s so important to have something you love and are passionate about and you have obviously found it!

  41. You can just tell how happy you are from your writing. You SOUND like you are glowing! I get my enjoyment from blogging and working out, it’s my me time. Oh and from watching mindless tv!

  42. Tina, you seem to be doing so well! I am so glad to hear this! Exercising is my “me time”. I do it early in the morning, and oddly enough, I feel like it’s the time I get to zone out and focus on what really matters in life… my relationship with God, my husband, my family, and my friends.

  43. Karen says:

    After becoming a mom I found it especially important to take that little bit of time from my day to do something that I really enjoy. It definitely makes me a better mom!!

    So glad everything is going well with Baby B!

  44. Michelle says:

    Ok commenting here a little late (can’t comment at work- boo!) – but I’m so happy to hear that things are going so well!

    I felt like everything just fell into place SO much easier with #2 and I enjoyed the newborn stage so much more (and is partially why I’m considering #3). I hope it’s the same for you. Knowing what I was doing doing helped!

    As for the engorgement no doubt your are experiencing – I highly recommend cabbage! I know it sound crazy, but cabbage leaves on your girls a few times a day (for maybe 10 minutes max) helps so much.

    To answer your question – exercise and running definitely give me my outlet – and just time to myself in general. Knowing your limits is so important – especially when you have kids!

  45. Kristi says:

    I love being able to blog. It has become such an outlet for me. If I’m having a good day or a bad day… it’s always nice to be able to express myself. I also think just writing helps me figure out what’s going on in that head of mind :)

  46. There are degrees of tears? Yikes! Glad you are happy :-)

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