So, There’s This Chick…

Posted: February 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Sticking with the plan isn’t the only thing that took up some of my thoughts while at the gym last night. I also found myself in a moment of weakness sucked into that dangerous black hole: comparison.

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I was going about my Couch to 5K workout happily – feeling strong, healthy, and fit. I had a fantastic day earlier, thanks to B sleeping better and over the last week getting into a solid routine that makes juggling two much easier. [Side note: he even slept from 8 to 1 and then from 2 to 6 last night. Heaven!] I had confidence in what I have already accomplished fitness wise oozing from my pores. I love my body and it amazes me in all it can do. Then, it happened. She showed up.

So, there’s this chick at my gym. A lot of her fitness persona reminds me of myself 1.5 years ago when I felt at my personal best physically. Her body is very comparable to the physique I call my “happy place”. The workouts she completes resemble my favorite types of workouts and the way I love to challenge myself. Her energy and vibe appear so natural as she smiles and happily connects with other members over their workouts. And I found myself very bothered by this.

I caught myself saying things of annoyance about her in my head. Critiquing what she was wearing or calling her a flirt for chatting with some of the guys. Then it dawned on me. I was only doing these things out of jealousy caused by comparing myself. I had no need to think such things. She looked good. One of the guys she chatted with is her husband and his friends! They were talking about workouts – not flirting! Evidently my thoughts were completely jealousy related.

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The comparison trap and jealousy caused by it lead me to momentarily lose the satisfaction and appreciation of my body and achievements right now. Once I recognized that, I forced myself to stop. I don’t like to think negatively. I was happy just moments before and shouldn’t forget those great feelings so easily.

Then, I turned that jealousy into a positive. I remember I am working back to that goal and I have full faith that I can achieve those things again with ample time. I have the dedication and the love of fitness to do so. I also remembered that treating myself with respect and being happy with the journey were a key part to that success after Makenzie. I can’t lose that same mindset for this journey. And I won’t. I finished out my workout yet again feeling healthy and confident. Yet again believing in myself and loving my body for the amazing things it has done (creating beautiful children) and that it continues to do (getting back in shape so easily). Black hole averted.

Question of the Day – What do you do when you find yourself in the comparison trap or feeling jealous?

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72 Comments to “So, There’s This Chick…”
  1. kathleen says:

    It’s hard not to compare yourself to others. I always try to remember that maybe the person your comparing yourself to is probably envious of you in one way or another

    • Tina says:

      I know it will definitely happen time to time. We’re all human. I like what you said though about remembering things may be appealing about us to them in some way too.

  2. Tina, we must be on the same wavelength friend, I wrote a post very similar today :) You are such a beautifyl person, inside and out! Here is to your success!!

  3. Kimberly says:

    I haven’t commented in a while but I have been keeping up with your blog when I can. I can totally relate to comparing myself to others and having to choose to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. Loved this post!

    Baby B is ADORABLE by the way :) Congrats!

  4. Michelle says:

    I have a tendency to compare myself and my running to all of these super fast women in the blogs I read! I constantly think “If she can run this fast than why can’t I?” Then I remind myself a) some of the ladies are almost 10 years younger than me (gosh I feel OLD! I’m only 32) and b) most of them DON’T have 2 kids, etc. So I cut myself some slack. I’m doing the best that I can and I’m HAPPY with me :)

    PS – I’m sure people look at you and feel jealous/compare themselves to you too. The grass may always SEEM greener (I don’t think it always is)!

  5. When I find myself in a jealousy cycle I try to make a gratitude list of all the things that are awesome about me and my life. Makes me feel better pretty much every time. :)

  6. Mandy says:

    Ah sweetie. I could totally relate to this post. Heck, I still find myself having these thoughts and I didn’t just have a baby! Good for you for turning it positive!!

  7. [...] I was reading Tina’s post yesterday about comparison traps, I made a connection that I didn’t realize until just now (don’t you LOVE when reading [...]

  8. Oooh, that’s tough. I had some comparison issues a couple years ago when I had a running partner who was much faster than me. We’d run, I’d end up comparing, and then stew in frustration. I think I’ve mentined before, but the book Courage To Start really helped me bring my focus back to a positive outlook. Everyone needs to run her own race… on the road and in life!

  9. Megan says:

    I can understand the ugly green monster. However, I’ve learned to just focus on what God has given me!

    I love your blog! I’m working on my journey into becoming a runner as well – so exciting!

  10. I think this happens to all of us. I hate feeling that way, especially because you never know what that other person might be going through that you are unaware of. Recently, a coworker lost an extreme amount of weight in an unhealthy fashion. At first I was annoyed, but then I started to do some self talk and told myself that I am doing this the right way and to try not to compare. There are still times I can feel the jealousy brewing under my skin, but for the most part I have been able to let it go. Focus on your own journey. You have so much to be proud of and thankful for (I know you know this)! So many people look up to and admire you, so keep being you. I know you will be in your happy place again soon! :)

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