Self-Love Reflection: Love From Others

Posted: February 13, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Here is this week’s reposting of one of the 30 Days of Self-Love posts. This week’s topic = love from others. Enjoy!

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The whole purpose of this movement relates to self-love. Today’s topic, however, relates to the love we have from others and how it can help us more fully grasp self-love as well.

In the dark throes of depression, I felt like no one loved me and placed very little value in my life and worth. I couldn’t see the tears in my mother’s and sister’s eyes or their hearts breaking when they finally broke into the bathroom where I was trying to find the “strength” to down a bottle of pills and end my misery. I questioned Peter’s devoted actions at the beginning of our relationship and tried to deny feeling anything for him in fear of getting hurt yet again. I attempted to earn love and respect the ridiculous ways of partying and being too “friendly” with too many guys my senior year of college, despite two of my good friends warning me against those actions and telling me time and time again I didn’t need that. I certainly wasn’t always happy like in the photo below.

I didn’t believe others loved me or could even care for me in the slightest. That made me doubt and hate myself more than I already did. The most disturbing part of this situation comes from the fact that I did have people who loved me and, if I had seen that, I might not have hated myself so much. Then, avoided a lot of that pain.

I want to be clear here. I do not believe in placing your worth in what someone else thinks of you. For example, if I never stopped trying to determine my worth based on my father’s views or if my ex loved me at the moment, I would likely still sit here today lost in the black hole of my previous life. I do propose, however, that we each have someone in our lives who loves us fully and that we need to see our own selves through that person’s loving eyes.

[source]

Don’t you even try to tell me you have no one who loves you, either. There’s somebody. Usually, many somebodies exist if we look hard enough. I’ll rebuttal your claim right now if you even try to say no one cares. I care! That is why I pour my heart, soul, time, and energy into this message and this blog. I do and you better believe others do too! Friends, family members, co-workers, fellow church members, other bloggers, that nice woman you see every day at the gym…someone cares! I will also scream from the rooftops that God cares too. Whether or not you believe in Him, oh boy does He care for you and view you as the most wonderful person out there…no matter what you’ve done or what you think of yourself. That is my belief and truth.

[source]

See yourself through the eyes of those that love you. See the joy you bring them. Open your eyes. View yourself in a different light. We all too often act as our own worst enemy and judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else. Instead, realize you are loved, cherished, wanted, and needed. Love yourself like others love you. Remember. They do. Don’t fight it.

Reflect on who loves you and what they see in you. Do you have trouble believing it and accepting what they see whole-heartedly?

Quotes to Reflect On
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and how to let it come in.
~Morrie Schwartz

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41 Comments to “Self-Love Reflection: Love From Others”
  1. What a nice reminder…I have the hardest time believing the positive things other people tell me. My instant reaction is to reject and think the opposite. Is that just a girl thing??

    Anyways, your progress pictures look amazing. You should be so proud of yourself!!! You are a true role-model!

    Kaneil

  2. Tina, you are SO amazing. This post really made me well up. I thought that nobody cared about me at all when I suffered from depression, and so much of what you’ve written here I can totally relate to! I really love this post, and you are right- we are loved not only by everyone around us, but by God, always, and we should never lose sight of that :)

  3. Monique says:

    You continue to give me so many reasons to keep coming back everyday to your blog. This one really hut home today. Thank you for being so very open and honest. God bless you always, Tina. You’re awsome!!!!

  4. Love this post. Morrie is a sure-fire way to make me tear up. <3

  5. Lauren says:

    Your open, 100% honest posts always make my day better & make me reflect! I’m always thankful of my family, friends, boyfriend, God who love me and tell me they do.
    This also reminds me of a moulin rouge quote: The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

  6. I love that last picture of you and M. How fun! Keep up the great work Tina! You inspire me to keep striving to grow and be a better person!

  7. Such a wonderful post! This has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :-) Depression can be such a horrid thing to make you feel so worthless, remembering that we are loved for who we are is so important. Great post x

  8. Stephanie says:

    Once again….amazing post. You continue to inspire me so much!

  9. This is such a well-written, heartfelt post! I think we all need a reminder once in awhile how lovable we really are. :) I have trouble with accepting positives comments, so I am guilty of forgetting how awesome I am sometimes, hehe.

  10. Beautiful reminder. Thank you for the honest share and prompt for lots of thinking!

  11. I think letting others love you is actually a form of loving yourself. When I have hated myself the most, I have ignored, forgotten, or denied the love I have in my life from others. That just shows that when I love myself more, I can accept their love, and in turn they benefit because I have the capacity to give it too.

  12. This is such a great post, and I really needed it today. You always seem to write posts that speak to me immediately – in a way I know that God is working through you to get to others. You’re amazing.

    One question I would like to hear the answer for: How has having kids helped you continue to see your worth through their eyes?

  13. Tina says:

    Your openess and honesty is so touching! Loving yourself is the first step to be able to fully love others. We all have beauty within, we just have to remember to see it! Luckily, your thoughtful posts are always a great reminder!

  14. Thanks for bringing this post up. It’s so relevant to life in general and love itself can be a daily challenge. The end quote was just what I needed this Sunday. :)

  15. Melie says:

    This is such a great post! And I especially love the last quote. Because for many people it’s easier to love and care about other people than believing that other people can feel the same things for them… Thank you for the great post! :-)

  16. This is a beautiful post and really hit home with me. Surrounding myself with people who love me really helped me in my own journey of self love. Thanks for sharing your experiences in such an honest way!

  17. Claire says:

    I totally identify with those feelings– as someone who had an ED, i felt so much shame, secrecy, and just feeling completely alone in those battles.
    Definitely something the Enemy used to keep me from getting help and healing. I do truly believe that it’s one of our biggest attacks, feeling alone and unloved in the midst of pain.
    Thank goodness our God has unending and undeserved love, praying we all recognize that and find satisfaction and joy in that.

  18. Kristi says:

    Tina, you will never know how much this post meant to me. As I sit here crying while I type I know that at this moment I was supposed to read your blog. I have felt so lost, so alone, so sad for the longest time. I push those that care for me away, not wanting to let anyone in. I struggle with myself and my worth.
    Thank you for the reminder… that there are people that care. We just have to let them.

  19. lindsay says:

    thank you for screaming from the roof tops about this. Your heart and soul are shown and I can see all the love in your life!! It is passed on to us and I will graciously take that!
    Amen!
    LC

  20. What a fantastic post! :-) You are so right!

  21. Becca says:

    As always, awesome post! Totally hits home. Totally something I needed to read. I think I might have to print this post and tape it to my wall or something to keep reminding myself of it. :)

    Somebody mentioned Moulin Rouge…? We watched that a couple of weeks ago in youth group—or at least, the scene where Ewan McGregor sings about love. :D

  22. This is an incredible post. Thank you for the reminder, I needed to read this! That picture of you and M is precious too.

  23. I’m so glad you re-posted this, Tina. You have so many great messages to give your readers! You make an excellent distinction between recognizing that you are loved by others and yet not valuing yourself based on what others think of you.

    • Tina says:

      And its an important distinction to make. Because a lot of times we put our worth in others loving us and focus too much on people who don’t love us like they should.

  24. Errign says:

    I really, really, really love these posts.

    I totally agree that being able to see yourself through the eyes of someone that loves you can be so eye-opening. It helps you appreciate what others see in you and remind you to see it in yourself, which is totes awesome. :)

    Happy Sunday to you & your super cute family. :)

  25. Heather says:

    What a great post, Tina! Such true and heartfelt words! Incredible message!

  26. Stephany says:

    This is such an amazing post, Tina. I really needed to read it. I have major issues stemming from my childhood and my dad’s lack of love shown towards me that it really makes you doubt a lot about yourself. But this was a great reminder! :)

  27. Emily says:

    Thank you so much Tina for this incredibly honest and inspiring post. I am definitely battling those feelings of not loving myself or feeling loved by others right now. I am starting to try to look at myself the way others do, and really listen and internalize the love and kind words that others give me. Its a slow process but its one that is worth it. The quote was perfect, it’s going to be my quote on my vision board that I am making :)

  28. Elaine says:

    What a beautiful post! I love your blog!

  29. This is huge. I lost my mom to suicide and I’m past the anger… now it just brings me sadness to think that she couldn’t see the love around her. I try my hardest to focus on all the love in my life all the time, and it definitely helps me through the dark days!

  30. [...] LOVE! Love yourself and love others. Tina posted an great post earlier about self-love. You can never tell yourself or others how much you [...]

  31. I just did a post on self-love yesterday… I loved this. It’s beautiful and so, so touching. Thank you for sharing it!

    That’s a fabulous quote at the end too, I hadn’t heard that one. :)

    <3
    n

  32. Allie says:

    Ummmm… AWESOME post :) I LOVE it <3 :) You are an awesome woman!

  33. [...] Self-Love Reflections: Love From Others from Tina at Faith, Fitness and Fun (remember you are loved!) [...]

  34. What a beautiful post for to read on this Monday morning! :)

  35. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tina Reale, Tina Reale. Tina Reale said: Self-Love Reflection: Love From Others: Here is this week’s reposting of one of the 30 Days of Self-Love posts. … http://bit.ly/fMEAFE [...]

  36. Priyanka says:

    Your writings and experiences on this blog are always an inspiration to me. I learn so much from you. Great post!

  37. Great article! jfgoiprjg

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