think before you speak

Posted: October 12, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Bloggers of the Day (chosen randomly from your comments)

  • All Kinds of Hungry shares good food and fun events of life.
  • A Side of Simple focuses on the simple joys we can find from food to travel to apple picking. 🙂
  • Live For The Run documents her trainings for races and triathalons, as well as a lot of fun, including UGA football!

Also, check out my guest post over at Lisa’s blog. If you have never read I’m An Okie, you are seriously missing out. And one last thing before I move on to today’s daily happenings. Thanks for the comments on this morning’s post and whether or not you find more inspiration in “real women” and how that applies to blogging. I never get sick of hearing your thoughts. 🙂

I know a lot of you out there dislike Tuesdays. The weekend still looms far in the distance and you feel exhausted from Monday. Makes perfect sense. However, I usually dance on the rooftops for Tuesday because that means the madness of Monday has ended. I had a great day today…despite nothing spectacular happening. Normal always makes me smile. And yes, normal includes reading one million children books together.

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I started the day like any other with a bowl of oats. I’m all about adding in dried fruit these days. I love the chew from things like raisins and dried apple. Something about it screams fall to me as well.

I accidentally lost track of time this morning while getting us dressed and ready for the gym and ate a little later than normal. My big bowl ended up having only 30 minutes to digest before heading to spin class. Not a good combination. It felt like a brick in my stomach the entire workout and like my food was up in my throat. It doesn’t help that I already feel like that quite often with my stomach being pushed up to make friends and hug my lungs and heart either.

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You see that #1 with the arrow pointing to the flattened pancake? Yea, that’s what is happening to my stomach right now. Fun, huh? I don’t think its quite as fun as some of the things people have said to me recently. I have a list of some from just the past three days.

  • Oh, when are you due? … In THREE months? Wow! You look so far along already!!! haha (grocery store clerk)
  • You’re about to pop any day now, huh? (spin instructor)
  • You get noticeably bigger every time I see you! haha (church member)
  • Awww, look at that huge belly. (my mom)
  • Are you sure you don’t have twins in there? Or triplets! haha (store clerk)
  • You must get terrible stretch marks from going from so small to so big. haha (gym daycare worker)

Hahahahahahahahaha. Excuse me while I bust a gut from your hilarity. Or more aptly, break my water and drop the baby right here right now for you since that seems feasible for my size. For the record, in no universe does telling someone they look huge, keep getting bigger, or that they must be carrying triplets constitute a compliment. Glad we’re clear on that.

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Glad we’re also clear on the fact that I take these comments with a grain of salt and don’t truly take offense to them. I feel great and that’s all I concern myself with. Although it would be nice if such a thing as a verbal filter existed for me to pass out as Christmas gifts. Just saying.

And now, would you mind rolling me into the kitchen so I can share a delicious taco dinner with my family?

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Then I will appropriately finish the night out watching The Biggest Loser with my sister. With some ice cream and pickles on the side, but of course. 😉

  • What’s the strangest “compliment” you have ever received?
  • How long do you have to eat before a workout?

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62 Comments to “think before you speak”
  1. Kirsten @ Cooking in Japan says:

    Strangest compliment: here in Japan I always get told my nose is tall as a compliment. People tend to have flatish noses and wish they were more prominent. Even my three week old son gets that all the time. I alwsys feel like they are saying my nose is big but I know they mean it as a compliment. I get that all the time.

    • Tina says:

      That is a strange compliment, but when you take it in the right context makes sense. Hope you and the new baby are doing well!!!

  2. girl you SHOULD feel great! you look absolutely STUNNING.

  3. Ooh, people say the darnest things! Personally, I never know what to say to pregnant women despite the usual, “when are you due?” “boy or girl?”…then I have this urge to rub their belly and I’m not sure where it comes from, but I have to hold myself back.

    I MUST let me food digest at least an hour, but preferably two for a decent workout.

  4. I hope I can take these “compliments” in stride just like you do when I’m pregnant. A “compliment” i received last week on my new top I recently purchased was, “wow you look like a farmer today.”.

  5. Cynthia says:

    A couple of years ago when I lost a bunch of weight, my grandmother told me , “You’re so pretty now that you’ve lost all that weight. You should be able to get a boyfriend now. ”

    Talk about a backhanded compliment! Hehe

    • Tina says:

      What is it about grandparents? They really do have a special way with words. I guess by a certain age you just say what you think. LOL

  6. Jess says:

    You look great!
    I’m usually okay if I eat about 45 minutes to an hour before working out…depending on what I’m doing.

  7. Lisa says:

    Omg those comments are ridiculous! You DO NOT like you are having triplets. AND THE stretch mark comment? Omg, what a terrible thing to say! I would have trouble just laughing that off! You look beautiful girl!

    • Tina says:

      I probably would have more trouble laughing the stretch mark one off if I had a bunch. Fortunately I have good genes and never got any with M and still don’t have any this time. Here’s hoping that lasts!

  8. You look incredible!! I remember when I was 3 weeks from my due date I was in line I Starbucks and ordered a venti frapuccino with extra whip. I didn’t get any comments… but I sure did get lots of looks 😉

  9. Kelly says:

    I DO NOT think that you look 9 months pregnant…no way! I hate it when people say, “You look tired.” I think that is code for “you look really bad!”

  10. I hear you on the eating too soon thing…although mine’s been eating too close to bed. I’ve had to start giving myself an hour ish before bed with no food or otherwise the heartburn is awful! :< I'm so sorry about those "compliments…" It blows my mind what people think is ok to say to a pregnant woman! It really bugged me for the longest time to hear people say, are you ever going to start showing?? I was like, do you think I have any real control over that!? And you look great 🙂

  11. I lost a lot of weight in the past and my stepmom told me that I basically lost a “backstreet boy”. (and she said this in front of a table full of people) I was mortified.

    I think you are a glowing and super cute pregnant woman. But it’s actually good to know that pregnant women may not like being told that they look bigger. I kind of thought it is a natural thing to say to pregnant ladies, (in a nice way-not the stretchmarks thing), but I guess not.

    Thanks for the heads up!! We’re having tacos tonight too!

  12. Ugh, oatmeal with only 30 minutes to digest, barf. I have started rethinking my morning breakfast on the weekends b/c oatmeal takes forever to digest. Love it for the work week to get me through to my mid-morning snack though. Isn’t it just great what people say sometimes. I mean seriously??? One thing I get is that wow your sis looks just like Julia Roberts…you guys don’t look anything alike. Oh, well, thank you kindly.

  13. you look fabulous, my dear!!

    I think it is insane how people feel prenatal women are fair game… it’d be fun to say something about “with that thinning hair, you’ll be bald in a month!!” ha… just kidding. 😉

    YUM tacos! enjoy your night – I’m getting ready to watch biggest loser too! 🙂

  14. Ugh– that would be SO annoying. My sister complained about the exact same thing last year when she was pregnant. It’s so funny how some people’s censors go right out the window when talking to a pregnant woman.

    Normal days are the best for me too 🙂

  15. Lee says:

    I’ve gotten the “you look so great now that you’ve lost weight” compliment. It’s like, “did I look that bad before?”

  16. homecookedem says:

    Your belly looks perfectly beautiful! People really do need to think before they speak… There are 3 of us pregnant at work all just a couple weeks apart… and I overheard someone say, “_____ & ______’s belly’s look so much bigger than Emily’s…” and then the person she said that to said, “Well they’re (referring to the other 2 girls) just so skinny, that’s probably why…” But ya know what, it didn’t bother me b/c I know I have a perfect little baby in my belly and I really don’t care about much else right now. 🙂

  17. um, you are one hot momma! i hope i look as great as you when i’m preggo 🙂

  18. You seriously look fantastic!! I hope those ridiculous comments don’t make you feel otherwise. You are an inspiration to me the way you’ve made exercise a priority during your pregnancy and have stayed so fit.

  19. Sarah says:

    These people have to be crazy because I think you look gorgeous! I also think people need to learn when to keep their comments to themselves.

    I had someone tell me once I had nice ankles…okay, I guess I’m glad I don’t have “cankles”.

    I need about an hour to digest or I need to take a bathroom break mid workout.

  20. Mellissa says:

    When someone comments you must be a size negative 2 or 0. So what, I am small! I don’t ask them what their size is or make a comment.

  21. Jess says:

    I love reading about women who stay fit during pregnancy. Nice blog!

  22. Geez, some people have no filter whatsoever! I hate backhanded compliments – those piss me off the most. Like the woman in my office who likes to tell me how “cute” I am (she’s about 15 yeras older than me and reminds me of it often) and call me nicknames – like she’s trying to be affectionate or something, but when you’re trying to be an equal professional with someone, having her remind me of how young I am is not exactly helpful!

  23. Alyssa says:

    You look great! Sorry about your tummy being squished 🙁

  24. I’m going to go hunt down that store clerk and give them a stern talking to!! You look fabulous!

    It depends on what I eat. If I eat a granola bar or a banana, I can head out the door right away. However, if there is anything liquid involved, I need a good 30+ minutes.

  25. caronae says:

    I’m pretty sure you’re a far more gracious pregnant woman than I would ever be! I would be so self-conscious too. Maybe I’ll feel differently in ten years or so when I am ready to start having babies! I am oddly looking forward to it, actually.

    Best compliment would probably be people telling me I look really fit/like I go to the gym. I workout to be fit for ME but it is nice to hear that other people recognize it, I guess. 🙂

    And I love Tuesday evenings because it means it’s basically Wednesday. And I have no Friday classes so the week is basically over on Thursday!

  26. Marcia says:

    Love this post!
    SOme people say the strangest things to pregnant people. I know I migh think them, but I never utter it out loud!!!
    I dont knowhow many times I was asked it I was having -3 babies….ugh! 😉 For the record. you look fab and small. So there, store clerk!

    Ok weirdest comment….I was in my early 20’s working at a health screening…and a nice man of the cloth says to me ” My, you are one beautiful Negress” ( is that how you even spell it?!?). He was just being nice, and he is lucky I am laid back and have a sense of humor!! My boss looked horrified.
    The funny thing is, he is now a regular at my Spin classes and I am sure he does not remember that!

    Depending on what I am doing for my workout. I usually eat 45 minutes to 1 hr prior….typically gym cardio and spin.
    for my long runs (10+) I eat 2 hours before….for early morning short runs ( 6 or fewer) I don’t eat until I get home.

    • Tina says:

      I can’t believe someone would have said that!! How crazy.

      And ohhh, the torpedo. Some babies are just big, people. Miles proved that. LOL

  27. I still remember one of the best compliments from 9th grade:
    “When do you see Anne NOT smiling?”

    Still makes me smile even bigger!

  28. Camille says:

    Don’t stress about what people say. You make a beautiful pregnant woman!

  29. “I take these comments with a grain of salt and don’t truly take offense to them. “–that’s awesome you have such a great attitude. Lots of women cant or dont and dont have that thick of a skin.

    I am constantly told the following by people: MY GOD YOU’RE BIG!.

    Yes, I am tall (5’11” almost).

    But I am not “big” in the sense of being heavy or overweight. However, when someone hears this over and over, over a lifetime, it becomes very annoying, old, tiresome and I just want to slap them! It’s not a pregnancy induced 40week thing, it’s my height. It’s a lifelong thing. Joys of being tall 🙂

    • Tina says:

      I have a friend who is that height too and it drives her crazy how people always say that to her too. Things do just get old to hear over and over.

  30. you look beautiful!!!

    i have blogged about it but i have often been told i am fat, am getting fat, or look fat. which is a compliment in africa. excuse me while i DON’T jump for joy.

    once last year when i started to shed some of the 20 lbs i gained, a coworker told me i was looking slim. i practically jumped up and down in excitement and she looked at me like i was crazy–she was trying to tell me i DIDNT look good! hah.

  31. Courtney F says:

    I wanted to buy and give away filters all throughout my pregnancy. I would smile and nod most of the time, but there were some times with church members (they were the WORST) where I would come back with a very sarcastic comment with a huge smile on my face! I don’t know why people think it is to say things like that. I don’t point out their bellies WITHOUT A BABY IN THEM!
    you look great!

  32. Seriously, no woman EVER wants to hear they are getting bigger…baby or no baby! I think you look great Tina! That little stinker is getting bigger, not you! I hate to wait at least 30 minutes to work out after I eat otherwise I have horrible indigestion. I always think it is weird when people comment on weight anyway. It just seems inappropriate. I also don’t get when people tell me “oh your hair is getting long”. I never know what to say to that. It’s not really a compliment…just a statement.

    Have a great day Tina!

  33. Kristy says:

    I like your bump! and its just that a bump, not thing more! 🙂 (except you know a baby…)

  34. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tina Reale, Tina Reale. Tina Reale said: think before you speak: Bloggers of the Day (chosen randomly from your comments) All Kinds of Hungry shares good … http://bit.ly/btP0Bx […]

  35. “would you mind rolling me into the kitchen”

    Tina I laughed so hard at this line!!! What I usually say to pregnant women (who I KNOW are pregnant) is just something like “I just love your belly” — I hope that never comes off as rude. I just can’t NOT say something about a pregnant belly. But I’m so awkward socially anyway, that I probably say it super strange!

    When I joined weight watchers last year — I had about 20 lbs to lose (and I did it!) – the meeting leader asked me why I was there and if I was there “to lose weight for someone else” — then she asked “who is forcing you to be here?” I know she was saying that I don’t have weight to lose, but thats not true since I was “overweight” for my height and I wasn’t comfortable with my size. It made me cry and I still can’t believe I paid them money to help me lose weight!

    • Sarah says:

      I’m sorry you had such a negative experience with Weight Watchers! Maybe it’s dependent on the location and the leaders because I loved my leader. And I actually recommend WW because it helped me so much. I’m thinking that she just wanted to compliment you but did a poor job.

    • Tina says:

      Agreed with what Sarah said about it being a misrepresented compliment at WW. But still frustrating.

      And I think its fine to comment on a woman’s pregnant belly. I don’t mind comments…just not ones that all seem like “WHOA!!! You’re BIG!” haha

      • I know it was just that leader — but it made me wonder how many other people she has turned off by comments like that? The other members in my meetings were nice (well, most of them) — they were very supportive when I lost weight and when I reached goal.

  36. I had to laugh at some of the comments. I have a couple of weeks left until my little ones arrival. I haven’t gotten any comments because I think people know that it might not end too pretty for them, lol!! My husband on the other hand constantly says stupid stuff (he thinks it is cute and he is not trying to be mean). He is so excited i just think he forgets to think sometimes – I justshake my head and brush it off.

    BTW – I think your bump is cute : )

  37. Nichole says:

    WOO HOO! Thanks for the shout-out, blushing:)

    That prego model freaked me out a bit, there’s a person near my organs, lol.

    You, my dear, are looking insanely fantastic! Perfect bump!!

    I typically eat an hour before I workout, that way everything has time to be where it should.

  38. You look awesome, Tina. And thanks so much for the shout out! (By the way, I’m really loving the direction your blog has taken more recently. 🙂 Keep it up!)

  39. Some people truely are rude! Just last week one of my husbands friends told me I was getting as wide as I am tall. Hello I am growing a baby!!! I sometimes wish I was one of those people who could come up with a witty comeback. I don’t want to be rude right back to them but at the same time sometimes I wish I could.
    Your animation of the your organs during pregnancy reminded me of this site…thought you may find it interesting.
    http://www.msichicago.org/whats-here/exhibits/you/the-exhibit/your-beginning/make-room-for-baby/interactive/

  40. my friend Kristen just wrote a children’s book. She is the best, sweetest person I know so I’m sure it’s going to b e amazing. She wants Sean to illustrate it and then she plans on shopping it around with publishers! Pretty cool if it got published!

    And you look fantastic. I love baby bellies. Although, that picture of how your body changes–pretty crazy we can handle all that!

  41. Your belly is so cute! I am super impressed that you still spin. You’re a trooper 🙂

  42. Angela says:

    My sister got a lot of those “compliments” when she was pregnant too. on the flip side, my other sister who was teeny tiny got comments that made her feel like she wasn’t big enough. I don’t know what people expect to see, but its like you can’t please them. Luckily that’s not what its about and at the end of the day you just brush them aside. Most people don’t have realistic expectations.

    The weirdest compliment I’ve received was along the lines of how much prettier I am now then in HS it wasn’t odd per se, just kind of back handed.

  43. Danica says:

    Awwww, I think your pregnancy belly is so cute – ignore what everyone says – seriously! You are beautiful 🙂

  44. Emily says:

    Yikes – yeah, I can’t understand how people think that its ok to make comments like that. 🙂

    I love that you had ice cream and pickles while watching the Biggest Loser. I definitely had ice cream and apple crisp while watching the muffin mania.

    • Tina says:

      LOL – I guess thats the thing about online…sarcasm doesn’t really come through. I was joking about the icecream and pickles because its what is associated with pregnancy cravings for some reason. Although, I did end up having a bit of icecream.

  45. Caitlin says:

    I made the mistake ONCE of making a bad comment to a pregnant woman. I asked her when she was due and it turns out, she’d already had the baby. Now I just keep my mouth shut because as you can imagine, I was extremely embarrassed and felt horrible.

  46. Julie says:

    I remember an UNpregnant someone telling me fairly early on in one of my pregnancies that she could finally tell I was starting to get fat (and by fat, I’m sure she just meant that I was finally showing, but I couldn’t differentiate back then ;-), and I said to her in return “Ohhhh, so are you” in a really sweet voice.

    I’m evil.

  47. Girlfriend. You look AMAZING!

  48. Ok, I totally just asked a friend if she was sure she’s only got 1 in there RIGHT BEFORE reading your blog post! lol! But, she really is huge and due in a month. You, on the other hand, are adorable and DO NOT LOOK HUGE!

    I haven’t really tested the eating and trying to exercise soon thereafter theory. I have, however, tested the “let’s run without eating first” theory and it was NOT a good idea. 😉

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