Posted: January 25, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Before I begin, please note that no guilt went into the making of this post.

Yesterday morning I posted about getting back into a normal routine and wanting to focus on keeping up healthy habits. I also hoped to start gaining momentum in reaching personal post-partum fitness goals. Last night, I told you all how great the day went and the exciting news of getting back in the gym. Undoubtedly those all were great things. Then, after dinner I succumbed to an old, not so great habit.

A friend from the mom’s group brought us another meal last night. The meal included some dessert – a container of homemade mini chocolate chip cookies. Aka a total weakness. Peter & I brought the container to the couch to chill with us after the kiddos were in bed. Then we proceeded to snack snack snack.

source because i forgot to take any pics

I want to be clear. I’m not upset about eating some cookies. Without a doubt I knew I would have some when she dropped them off. The “confession” I refer to is a bit of frustration over the mindless state of the eating. I didn’t overeat. I didn’t eat my emotions. But if I have dessert, I want to savor it. I would have much rather taken out an appropriate portion and taken the time to truly enjoy each bite versus eating a larger amount without really considering the taste.

I don’t feel guilty about any extra calories or think I ate “bad” yesterday. On the whole, I ate extremely well for my body’s health yesterday. The mindless munching was only a slight hiccup and does not negate the good decisions I made for myself yesterday. Could I have made a more satisfying decision in how I consumed the sweet little chocolate chip morsels? Sure. I didn’t because I’m only human. I can’t (and DON’T) expect myself to be perfect. I can only do my best.

Sometimes my best includes reacquainting myself yet again with practices I strongly believe, like eating with intention. I hope to share all those experiences because they are real. So, my point in this little “confession” is not really a confession at all. I don’t write with the hopes of justifying or castigating myself. I put my fingers to the keys to reflect that struggles, no matter how minor, do exist for everyone. But at the same time, they aren’t everything. Look at them; learn from them; move on.It’s the only way progress can happen.

Question of the Day – After receiving a few general requests, I would like to do a Q+A post on breastfeeding. What questions do you want answered?

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65 Comments to “Confession”
  1. I love the way that you wrote this post – ditching the guilt and just acknowledging that you struggle at times. You’re a wonderful example of someone working toward a healthy body, mind, and soul!

  2. What were the best resources for you? Consultant? Friends? Family? Books? Instinct?

  3. Tina, The truth empowers us to make change. Although you did nothing wrong by eating several cookies, I appreciate your raw and open admission that this is not necessarily a “habit” that you want to make normal. I think we all, at one point, struggle with intentional eating. It’s something I am even relearning in the recovery of my 7 year battle with Anorexia. I’ve come so far, but am definitely still learning to savor and appreciate each bite of food.

    Good thoughts, Tina.

  4. Angela says:

    I love that quote Tina, and it’s so true! Slight hiccups are totally what setting and reaching goals are all about, and I would certainly have been partaking on the cookie eating if they looked like the ones in your photo! 🙂

  5. I needed to hear this after a few days of mindless eating myself. I think no matter how healthy we become mentally and physically, it’s always going to be a struggle to be perfect all the time. Maybe it’s these imperfections of mindless eating that ground us and remind us that we are human.

  6. grace says:

    eating with intention! i love it! words to live by! thanks!

  7. Heather says:

    You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t struggle from time to time. It’s great that you recognize your habits, though, that’s hard to do!!! Love your positive attitude – keep it up!

  8. Kelly says:

    Thank you for setting such a great example of how all women should feel after a little “hiccup” in your healthy eating/fitness plans. I don’t do a good job at having this mindset 100% of the time, but it’s something I’m always working toward. I would love to hear about breastfeeding, specifically, how often you do it, do you pump and use bottles ever, how long you plan to do it, how significant is the pain/discomfort (swelling and nursing pain)?

  9. I am so glad you have a positive attitude in all of this. I think you need the extra sugar right now anyway. I swear I ate way more of everything including sugar when I was breast feeding the boys. I am with you though, I like to savor my sweets!

  10. I would have helped you eat some of those cookies 🙂

    I’d love some info on what you can/can’t and should/shouldn’t eat while breastfeeding. I’ve heard mixed opinions on alcohol?

  11. LOVE THIS POST!!! Yay for getting back to the post. I love that you don’t feel guilty about eating them but because you didn’t savor them and enjoy them! you are a great example to so many people!

  12. Stephanie says:

    You could discuss your optimal breastfeeding timeframe (as in how old the child is when you wean them!) I varied so much with the ages of my three for different reasons so I’m always interested in how long other moms breastfeed…and why they make those choices!

  13. You make a really good point about savoring the dessert or the “treat” rather then just being mindless. Then you shouldn’t feel guilty, you actually enjoyed it. I sometimes have a tendency to mindlessly want a snack after dinner. I’m not hungry at all, I just want that sweetness that offsets dinner. But if I wait a while, then I’m fine.

  14. good for you for seeing last night as what a was. ONE instance where you didn’t eat in the mindful manner you want to. it doesn’t mean you messed up your plan at all. today is a new day! 🙂

  15. I’m glad that you don’t have any guilt associated with eating those cookies. I go back and forth on the guilt thing – but this weekend, I ate far too many potato chips. You know what? That’s okay.

    I want to know EVERYTHING there is about breastfeeding. I know you’ll spare no detail! 🙂

  16. Aww Tina you are SUCH an inspiration!! I love that you feel no guilt, and are being so honest!! 🙂

    Everyone does that sometimes, and I’m glad you’re not dwelling on it!

  17. You have a great attitude towards this. I am still struggling with the whole guilt thing sometimes. We just have to remember that it is just one night and we always have the chance to start over new the next day.

  18. As always, love your outlook! And another fabulous quote! (btw, I’ve got a giveaway going on. Throw your hat in the ring! :))

  19. Wonderful post as always Tina 🙂

    As far as breastfeeding goes, I think its important to touch on the “What if you’re not able to” question. I’m a huge believer that breast feeding is the best for babies, but I got so sick after having M that the docs made me stop a few days after giving birth. I wasn’t able to produce after that. I felt extreme mommy guilt. It was so awful. Obviously I’m over it and M is extremely healthy and eats everything. But I think its important to brush on the topic. 🙂

    • Tina says:

      That’s a great thing to touch on. I believe it is something good for mothers to do, but if something keeps it from working out (which so many things can) then its not something to feel guilt over. Great suggestion!

  20. Oh man I don’t even know what to ask about breastfeeding! Anything you want to share is a-ok by me though. And I like that you took the time to recognize why you were frustrated about the cookie incident…but when it comes down to it it’s jut a cookie and today is a new day!

  21. Tina I love that you are a real human being!!! And I’m glad there is not guilt in regards to the cookie incident — because there shouldn’t be.

    Take care!

  22. I love that quote. I am trying to focus on just that right now, building confidence and strength with little steps.

    As long as we love ourself through everything, like hiccups won’t become a huge landslide!

  23. Sarah R says:

    I love how you worded this post. And I also love the quote you included. It’s a great way to look at it all in a meaningful way.

    As far as breastfeeding goes–what did you find to be your best resource. Any books or websites I should look into?

  24. I try to convey this message to my husband all the time. When I make treats he just gobbles them up so fast. I think he would enjoy them so much more (and eat less of them) if he took the time to savor them. This is definitely not an easy concept for everyone, so your self awareness is great.

  25. Thank you for posting this. It really gives me hope that even though I do struggle, I can turn those difficult moments into something positive that will drive me towards a healthier life.

  26. Lori Lynn says:

    Love the quote and also your attitude. I need to work on that. 🙂

  27. Astrid says:

    It’s funny that we can mindlessly munch on some veggies and not think twice about it. But with sweets and anything that society views as “bad” we instantly have to justify ourselves or tackle some form of self questioning of guilt. What would happen if we started feeling guilty about eating too many veggies? Now wouldn’t that be silly.

    • Tina says:

      I actually don’t like mindlessly eating anything – veggies or not. I know I only feel satisfied with any meal if I pay attention to eating it. That is a great point, though! Very interesting to consider.

  28. Kelly says:

    That is exactly how I felt this weekend. I had gone to the Farmer’s Market and bought a container of local BBQ hummus. I was so excited to try it that as soon as I got home I busted it out and tried it. By that same afternoon I had polished off the entire container. I didn’t feel bad about eating an entire container of hummus in one day but more for not savoring the bite and flavor…instead of gobbling it up I wish I had been more appreciative of it.

  29. I can relate to this post..I had a horrible day and ordered pizza for my family. BUT instead of feeling guilty about it I decided to set a back up plan in place for when I dont’ have time to cook or just don’t want to.

  30. I have been guilty of so many times in the past mindlessly eating while working or blog reading… I still like to read blogs when I eat breakfast and lunch, but I like to actively savor the flavors so I don’t look at an empty plate with no recollection of what lunch actually was… that’s no way for a foodie to eat!! 🙂

  31. “eating with intention”
    I like how you phrase that. There are plenty of times where I don’t think I overate by any means, but just slowed down a little… happens to the best of us!

  32. i’m glad your not upset! i have the same problem sometimes- eating without savoring, especially when it comes to dessert. it happens though, at least you recognize it! writing about it always makes it better, then you’ll be conscious of it next time and really savor each bite

  33. You speak to a really interesting conundrum–you don’t feel guilty for over-eating but you also know you didn’t make the best choice. I feel this way fairly often–not exactly guilty but rather like I could’ve made a better choice. Thanks for your honest!

  34. Great post! Here’s my question… son stopped nursing after his first “taste” of the bottle. Is there any way you can increase your milk supply using the pump?

  35. I think you have a great outlook- you don’t necessarily what to mindlessly eat, but at the same time you are guilting yourself out of everything.

  36. You’ve handled this so well…acknowledging the situation and recognizing that you don’t want it to become a habit without succumbing to guilt or negative feelings about yourself. It’s so true that we all struggle!

    I would LOVE to see a post on breastfeeding. My questions include: How long is the average breastfeeding session? Do you switch boobs every few minutes or just alternate feeding sessions (HA! Yes I really just asked that!)? If you can’t breastfeed one day for some reason, do you have to pump?

    Also, I’d love to hear your thoughts on “bonding with the baby.” A friend told me she isn’t breastfeeding so that other people can bond with her daughter. I’d like to breastfeed some day and am hoping this doesn’t actually interfere with my husband or anyone else bonding with my child!

    Thanks for sharing your experiences with us!!!

  37. Juliene says:


    Oh my gosh this post couldn’t have come at a better time. Although I am on the opposite end of the spectrum I totally understand where you are coming from. Before we got pregnant I was in weight loss mode and was monitoring what I was eating and eating really well balanced meals. Then pregnancy happened and all hell broke loose. A large portion of the time I make good choices but other times I just don;t feel like it. I know I shouldn’t eat the second cupcake but I do it anyway, I guess my struggle is knowing when I’m really hungry and when I’m not. Did you struggle with gaining weight when you got pregnant? How did you deal with it? I threw our scale in the trash so the only time I get weighed is when we go to the doctor. I just don’t want to have to work 10 times harder after the baby to get off weight that I could’ve avoided! Help!!


  38. Allie says:

    Your outlook on everything is so refreshing! It is super nice to hear that you aren’t freaking out about eating cookies, but instead how you ate them. You are right, it is more enjoyable to savor a few versus eating a TON. Hope you have a great day :o)

  39. I want to know etiquette of when/where it is okay to bfeed!

  40. Holly says:

    I love your focus on *how* you ate, rather than *what* you ate – or how much. I even feel badly when I have to shove food down my throat when I’m on the run, or eating quickly in my car. It just takes the enjoyment out of it, completely. Great post, Tina, and thank you again so much for your honesty and keeping it real.

    My question doesn’t so much have to relate to BFing (well, kind of…since it’s part of the reasons new mothers are so tired!), but how do new mothers function with such little sleep?!! I am just Oscar the Grouch when I can’t sleep – no joke. And especially since a lot of BFing moms don’t drink caffeine….I just want to know how you all do it – you have my complete respect!!

  41. Jess says:

    Great post…great reminder. We aren’t perfect, nor should we be…and we should be able to eat a fresh baked chocolate chip cookie without guilt. (they are my weakness too). But your point about not feeling “guilty” about it is a good one and your clarification that you just wished you’d savored it more is an important distinction, one I think is easy to forget about. I respect your openess on the topic – and am with you, I hate when I do that to myself too (overeating something rather than savoring it in a normal serving size). SO easy to do, too.

  42. Marg says:

    Oh, I’ve been there a little too often lately. It’s good to hear the positive!

  43. Rach says:

    Really enjoyed reading this. Love your honesty, but also that you don’t feel guilty about defaulting.

    As for breast feeding – how common are breast infections? I’ve heard some about them, but not a lot.

  44. The way you wrote this post is a true testament to your health. Nobody’s perfect.

  45. I loved this post, Tina! And believe me, if someone left freshly baked cookies at my house I would totally eat every last one of them. In fact, I would probably hide the cookies from my husband so I could eat them all myself. Perhaps I should feel guilty about that though?? haha

  46. I TOTALLY feel you on this post! I’m not always good about eating with intention, especially when it comes to desserts. I have a hard time explaining that I don’t feel *guilty* about having the dessert, I just feel…disappointed in myself, when I eat without thinking.

  47. I love the spark people quote! Very cool and I’m am very much in your boat, as they say. I’ve been doing a lot of mindless munching – not just today but, well, in 2011! I’m trying to get a hold on it before it takes me over!

  48. I’ve been a midnless muncher lately. I find myself so in my head that I dont think about what and how much I’m putting in my mouth.

    All is well though 🙂

  49. what advice do you have for women who plan to breastfeed but then for one reason or another they are not able to and they feel disappointed in themselves or like they are letting their baby down?

  50. i do a lot of mindless munching when i’m making dinner. i’ve gotten better lately, but i do find that i need to focus otherwise i’ll eat everything in site! i’ve found that thinly slicing an apple and munching on it while i cook is win-win because it’s healthy, and if i slice it thin, it takes me a while to eat it and i’m usually done cooking by then!

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