Self-Love Reflection: Perspective

Posted: February 27, 2011 at 11:57 am

Every day upon arising, we begin a journey led by one choice after another. Those choices add up to the sum total of our lives and whether or not we can claim to live in joy. What is that I hear you saying? Oh…you think that’s ridiculous and that we can’t control everything. You know what I say? You’re right. We can’t control everything. We can, however, control our perspective.

As I discussed before, sometimes we choose to put more emphasis on our body at the expense of fully experiencing the world around us with pleasure. We determine whether or not we live in that manner. In the same fashion, we choose whether or not to succumb to other forces in this world hoping to weaken us. That choice lies in the perspective we adopt.


When a pair of pants fit too tight, you act out your choice whether you demean yourself the entire day with negativity or actively seek out ways to care for your health. When an insecure friend wants to tap into your insecurities with snide comments, you choose whether or not to listen (or stay friends for that matter). When a challenge arises, such as a lost job or illness/injury or broken heart, you can choose to continue living with the belief it will make you stronger or grab a shovel to dig yourself a hole of regret and self-pity.

Our perspectives don’t always have to shine with rainbows and glitter. No shame should occur in feeling pain, hurt, anger, sadness, etc in particular situations. We’re human and those emotions should not be glossed over or ignored.Sometimes we need such feelings to cloak us like a heavy garment and really feel them before moving on with our lives. Nevertheless, we still control those feelings and keep the perspective in tact.


All of the above relates to self-love because part of loving ourselves comes in providing the best life possible. That life consists of seeing the glimmers of hope in dark places, the pain of others in their attempts to cause pain, the waste of time in fretting over matters we won’t remember in a few months, and the ongoing list of similar situations. The authority to provide a “best life” comes in a little package called perspective. It’s your choice whether or not to open that gift.


How do you witness the power of perspective in your life? Do you currently face something where your perspective could make a difference?

Quote to Reflect On
Be careful how you interpret the world:  It is like that.  ~
Erich Heller
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.  ~Anaïs Nin

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22 Comments to “Self-Love Reflection: Perspective”
  1. Monique says:

    Wow, Tina. I swear. Sometimes you move me to tears…

  2. Becky Howard says:

    Thanks for that Tina, I needed to hear that~

  3. The fish quote is so spot on–really helpful to me today!

  4. Lauren says:

    Such an amazing post! Whenever I seem selfish or want more, I try to remind myself of the mission trips I went on, where I helped people who had near to nothing. That always puts things in perspective. I need to remind myself of perspective when I’m busy and stressed that one exam will not ruin my day or week because I have so many blessings that are much more important than an exam.

  5. What a wonderful post Tina!! It’s so true. I am a worrier and can make a mountain out of a mole hill. The only thing I accomplish is making myself (& often my husband) miserable. Usually the things I fret most about end up to be nothing at all!! I truly believe in the power of positive thinking and I think that combined with perspective, you can choose to have a good life and you will achieve that!!

    • Tina says:

      I always end up fretting over the silliest things too. Big stuff I can handle with grace…but minor stressors? i go crazy!

  6. Perspective is EVERYTHING!! There are days where I feel so down or out of it, until I tell myself to change my outlook, and then everything suddenly seems “better”. Of course the situation didn’t change, but my thoughts on it sure did!

  7. I love this post! Changing perspective can change everything. I’m realizing that certain circumstances in my life right now (involving my career) I have been framing negatively when I could be choosing to look at them as challenges and opportunities to grow. I allow myself to be upset, angry, and frustrated, but I don’t let myself stay there very long because I know I need to take responsibility for my own happiness and challenge myself to take a different outlook on things.

  8. Jess says:

    Perspective is a HUGE focus for me lately. Not just trying to see the positive in things but also trying to look at things differently. Just because they’ve always been done a certain way, does that mean they HAVE to always happen that way? No. It’s a new perspective. A new slant on the original. Sort of like the CF challenge for me has been – a new perspective on working out. A perspective I was afraid to embrace until now. And it’s paid off. Love this post!

  9. Stephany says:

    I’m the type of person prone to binge whenever my jeans fit too tight or I have a “fat day” or just feel frumpy. And it makes no sense because I feel the best when I’m exercising regularly and eating healthily. But it’s this cycle that I always go through.

    I am trying to take a bigger role in my own happiness and not letting other influences depend on whether or not I’m in a good mood.

    Another great post, Tina!

    • Tina says:

      I know the feeling all too well. For me personally, it took a lot of prayer asking God to help me remember to love my body and treat it with respect in those down times. It made it easier to remember how much better I feel when I care for myself and then not give into those binge urges. You can get past it too. Promise! You’re strong enough…and worth it too. 🙂

  10. Jolene says:

    This is one of my favorite posts from you…perspective is so powerful and I try to keep it as much as I can. When struggling, it’s the hardest thing to keep but once you have it, it becomes so rewarding, doesn’t it? Thanks for the reminder (as my pants feel a wee bit tight…) 😉

  11. Geraldine says:

    Your posts are always just so thought provoking, Tina It’s the reason I visit your blog every day.
    We all need to check ourselves from time to time, or day to day for that matter. I for one am guilty of losing perspective over what matters the most. I am one of those people who sometimes chooses to feel sorry for myself for being unemployed when I should really try to be more positive. Or I can focus on the number on the scale and have it play on my mind all day long. What a waste of my time!

  12. Dorry says:

    Perspective is huge in my life! I think it can almost always change any bad day or frustrating moment and turn it around. My sisters and I all live very different lives, so we help each other put things in perspective. Billy and I do, too – reminding ourselves of all the blessings in our life and not focusing on any of the insignificant negative things.

  13. Groff's Girl says:

    So in line with what I was really thinking about last week! It is true that what we think and say to ourselves defines us…so we should chose those words and thoughts wisely. We are in control of everything….when someone else does or says something nasty, we chose if it affects us or not. It is not them, it is US!!! I have been trying to see the accomplishments in everything I have been doing. I don’t want to focus on how it could have been better or how I better do next time. What matters is that I do the positive things, and I take the path to my goals rather than sit back and watch them go by! Every mile counts, every positive thought counts (A LOT) and I know I create my own world, so I better get artistic 😉

  14. chrissi says:

    what a great post! i always think of what my dad says “happiness is a choice. choose happiness.” hope you had a great weekend 🙂

  15. It’s all about perspective! I can easily take one bad occurrence and make a horrible day out of it unless I make an effort to change my perspective! Sometimes, you just can’t explain why a person says/does a particular thing that perhaps rubs you the wrong way, but there is no sense in dwelling on it and allowing it to ruin your day!

    I’ve been struggling recently with negative thoughts about my body, but have tried my hardest to change my perspective and turn those negatives into positives because if I allow one negative thought out of my mouth, it somehow unleashes dozens of them that only serve to make me feel absolutely miserable!

    Loved this post! And that first quote is perfect!

  16. emma says:

    that was a wonderful post. the fish quote is so true!

  17. I think some feeling are out of our control, but perspective is so powerful. Even if we can’t choose to be happy one moment, we can choose how we look at it and make our negative emotion less intense or at least have hope.

    I use this a lot and it works! Right now I need to use perspective about my nerve disorder. I get so down about how it disables me, but my fiance keeps talking about how much he has seen me improve. I just need to step back and see that improvement and be excited about it, instead of dwelling on what I still can’t do.

  18. I love the fish quote. My roommate said something the other night that I really liked… we are all special. It’s easy to think that we are special, but we are no more special than the next guy, because we ALL are in some way or another. It’s true!! 🙂

  19. […] and positive. I see it as sort of a self-help blog – Tina talks sense! And last night her post gave me a (gentle) kick up the ass to stop being so […]

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