Own Your Feelings

Posted: May 10, 2011 at 9:00 am

You might notice that in my weekend recap I did not mention much about my Mother’s Day. Well, there was not much to mention. In fact, it was just another standard day. I woke up around 6:30 because both the kiddos woke up. Then, Peter & I got everyone ready and out the door for church.

I taught Sunday school. I went to service…well, sort of. I had to head out halfway during because Braedon refused to calm down. After church, a friend & I stopped off at Subway to grab a quick lunch before going to volunteer for a couple of hours at a Day Center that hosts families in transition. We played with some of the children, allowing the mothers to hopefully get some down time for themselves.

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I came home to an empty house since Peter went to visit his mom while I was volunteering. I ended up doing dishes and some cleaning to kill some time. Did I mention that I had not received a single “Happy Mother’s Day” wish yet from Peter (from himself or via little M)? You can imagine that by this point I felt slightly resentful.

I then got even more emotional and eventually angry with myself over that feeling. I ended up feeling ridiculous because I know my family loves me and appreciates me very much. I felt guilty hoping for some sort of special recognition because I know my husband gives of himself so much so often. I feel very blessed to have him by my side. He is amazing! I questioned why I was so upset and it troubled me that I couldn’t seem to shake that disappointment.

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Finally, I decided that it was okay to feel that way. Sure, “Mother’s Day” may be what some call a commercial holiday. But it matters to me. I give so much of myself as a mother and the thought of a “special day” to receive recognition for those efforts means something to me. It’s understandable I felt upset. And I should own those feelings.

It is okay to have a bit of expectation and anticipation for something.

It is okay to want a kudos, token of gratitude, or notable gesture – be it in the form of a bought gift or a homemade card.

It is okay to hurt if those hopes doesn’t come to reality.

It is okay to feel angry over certain things, even if they seem silly to others.

Peter and I have already talked all this out. I don’t write about this to put him down or get all “woe is me”. I do know my blessings. I can’t complain. I just wanted to share that sometimes we may face emotions that we don’t quite understand or aren’t sure we can justify. I want to say it is alright to feel them. Do not feel embarrassed for what affects you.

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If something bothers you, share it. Express it. Find a way to resolve it. Do NOT hold onto it because you fear its not a worthy emotion. Holding onto such emotions does nothing. You are allowed to feel what you feel. After all, opening yourself to encountering those hurts, angers, and disappointments is what allows you to move on.

Do you tend to hold in emotions or do you “wear your heart on your sleeve”?

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70 Comments to “Own Your Feelings”
  1. I think you’re definitely allowed to feel upset. But I also think you’re right, its important to get them out there and not bottle them up.
    I used to bottle everything up until I just couldnt take it anymore. Then I would flip out on the first person to say the wrong thing. It was not a good situation. Im still not great at expressing my emotions, but I think I’ve gotten much better.

  2. Ela says:

    I love that you share this: It’s so easy to beat up on ourselves for having feelings like that, and I agree that it’s quite understandable and reasonable that you should feel that way. I think you’re an awesome mom and I hope you got some recognition.
    love
    Ela

  3. Parita says:

    Tina, I honestly think it’s ok that you felt the way you did. I would have felt the same way had I been in your shoes. And I understand that we should own our emotions, but sometimes I think its ok to give ourselves a break…you are such a wonderful mother. And although you aren’t asking for an award or something, I think its ok to want to be recognized even a little bit.

    And yes, I am a wear my heart on my sleeve type of person through and through. 🙂

  4. Kristi says:

    I tend to hold in emotions which just makes things worse. If I were to just talk about them then the problem can get fixed. If I hold it in it just sits and festers and I feel about 100 times worse. I need to learn to be open with my emotions and know that it is okay to feel upset sometimes.

  5. Michelle says:

    I TOTALLY TOTALLY agree with you on this! I have held my feelings on the past (my first Mother’s Day for example) and then it ends up with a flood of tears, regret for handling the situation inappropriately (blowing up, instead of talking about it rationally) and then feeling guilty about the whole thing. It has taken me quite a few years to get to this point, but I have realized that doing what I was doing what the equivalent to having a temper tantrum – as an adult.

    Sorry you didn’t have the best Mother’s Day — good thing you have lots of them to look forward to!

  6. YES! It is totally okay to feel whatever it is we are feeling. No one should ever feel guilty for a feeling. It’s a feeling and it’s there–recognize it. Great points, Tina. I’m sorry you didn’t have a great Mother’s Day. 🙁

  7. Dorry says:

    Happy belated Mother’s Day! Everyday is Mother’s Day, right? 😉 I love that you shared these thoughts with us because it’s SO TRUE that we sometimes are afraid to speak up and say how we’re really feeling. The truth is that we should be able to tell our loved ones and those closest to us how we’re feeling anytime, so long as we can do it in an honest way. I hope you’re having a great week, Tina!

  8. Love this post. I can relate in a way to it. I don’t feel angry lately, but just kind of disappointed. I feel silly as well, but I just can’t help it! Trying to trust in the Lord about my future because it is 100% uncertain for me these days!

  9. KRISTY says:

    JUST WAIT UNTIL “M” IS OLDER (EVEN BABY “B”) – IT REALLY DOES GET SWEETER WITH TIME. THE OLDER I’VE GOTTEN THE MORE EFFORT I’VE PUT INTO MAKING MY MOTHER FEEL MY LOVE <3

    • Tina says:

      I have no doubt they love their momma and will have the chance to show it as they get older. Thanks! 🙂

  10. jobo says:

    aww. I don’t blame you for feeling resentful or letdown. I would too, especially the first few mother’s days as a mom. I am glad you talked it out and didn’t hold it in. It’s something I am learning NOT to do – hold stuff in. rather get it out ya know? Happy belated mother’s day!! you are awesome!!

  11. Good answers in return of this question with firm
    arguments and telling everything regarding that.

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