When I posted my Body After Baby post on how I plan to track progress, Katie from Peace Be Me commented with a request for me to share a bit more in depth on my weight gain to conceive. I have briefly discussed it before, such as in my Q+A post about my weight, but not in detail recently. Ask and you shall receive here on FFF. I’m not afraid to spill my guts. I guess there’s a reason “brutally honest” and “real” were two of the quickest responses I got when I sent out this tweet yesterday.

I’ll take it! Now, to get to the nitty gritty gaining to conceive stuff.

You regular readers know that I competed in a fitness competition early November of 2009. If you’re new around here and didn’t know that, well a) now you do and b) hello & please stick around! For my competition, I had to do some pretty intense training and get down to a low (unhealthy for me) body fat level in order to achieve the leanness for displaying muscle definition in such an event.

I began training for the competition right after I weaned Makenzie from nursing. That’s important because it means I had not had my period since conceiving her almost 2 years prior to then. Read more about that in my period post.

So, I had no cycle because I couldn’t regain it after nursing thanks to the intense training and diet for my competition. We knew we wanted to try for a second child pronto. Right after the competition ended, I became determined to regain my period as quickly as possible. Due to conceiving M so easily, the recommendation became to get back to the weight I was when I got pregnant then. That equated to around 20 lbs heavier than I was on competition day.

Now, I gained just shy of 10 lbs of that immediately as my body gained back the water weight and glycogen stores I had depleted it of for the show. So in reality, I only needed to gain 10-15 pounds above my “happy place” to get to where I easily conceived Makenzie. With time, I likely would have regained my cycle at my happy place because it was healthy for my size. I put that aside though and went for the extra padding because we were ready for a baby. Sure enough, I hit that 135-140 weight range and BAM – I got my period about 6 weeks post-show.

In order to gain the weight I had to stop working out completely for awhile. I had to eat, which was easy enough because it was the holidays. My body had been through the wringer and was more than happy to put on some fat. In all honesty I didn’t mind so much at that point because it was for a greater cause and I was still at a healthy weight.

Then, we got negative test after negative test after negative test. Every month that I had to keep myself at a place heavier than I felt best became harder to do. I wanted to throw myself into fitness goals, but had to hold back to carry the few extra pounds. I’ve mentioned before how I don’t feel quite like me when pregnant…I felt the same then. I believed I had spent the previous year enjoying fitness and happily getting into GREAT shape for nothing. All because of that dang competition. And I didn’t have a pregnancy to show for it either.

That challenged me the most. I didn’t mind the weight if it brought me a baby. When it didn’t happen quickly like with M, worry crept in. Did I royally screw  up my body with the training and now I wouldn’t get to conceive? I dealt with that worry by hating on my body. Then that angered me because I had come to a place I loved myself and believed in my worth. I didn’t want to question the wonder of my body again and deal with those old demons. All of those emotions constituted the greatest trials.

Fortunately on Mother’s Day 2010 I saw that positive (+) sign flash on the screen. It all became worth it. Looking back, I probably could have questioned advice and gone about the weight in a less drastic manner. I shouldn’t have felt so concerned because 6 months to conceive is 100% normal. I should have realized more how healthy I still was, even if not at where I feel best. That’s all in the past now, though. I have my little B bumping around in my belly now…ready to come out. I learned from that experience and know more about myself and my body thanks to that time. And now, I will work towards my healthy, happy place and then stay there. It’s yet another reason why its so important for me to find again. 

Question of the Day – What’s one of the most emotionally challenging things you have gone through? Mine is my stuff with my Dad. That’s rough to this day.

Before I get into the post, can I simply say a huge THANK YOU! It isn’t for anything specific. Simply the continued support you all show by coming back day after day, commenting with uplifting words and fun anecdotes, and helping my little blog develop and me to grow. I have no set plans with this blog except to be myself, have fun, and see where that (and God) takes me. Things have far exceeded any expectations and I have you to thank for a good part of that. So…

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So, guess who is still hanging out in my belly? Not only my grilled panini and salad dinner, but also the balled up mass named Braedon. It really shouldn’t frustrate me so much. After all, my due date is not for another 2.5 weeks. I shouldn’t be so over him still chilling in there, but I am. Why? Well, a few reasons.

1. My official due date of January 21st is based off of my first ultrasound. My original due date was January 11th. A week from today. I know when I ovulated because we tracked my cycles. Based on that date, I should reach 40 weeks on the 11th. However, I had a smaller peanut in my belly at the original ultrasound and that pushed my date back 1.5 weeks. How nice. Not.

2. Baby B now measures a week ahead of my official due date. So, in other words, he now measures on track with what my due date should be but there’s no changing it. So I just get listed as carrying a bigger baby. Joy. Not.

3. The entire pregnancy my midwives have told me to expect an earlier delivery. Makenzie came at 38 weeks and the 2nd usually comes sooner than the first. I had contractions starting at around 6 months pregnant and that could lead to an earlier labor. The whole due date scenario meant I should deliver on the earlier side. Remember when they even said their goal was to get me to Christmas? I love being teased like that. Not.

4. I have had more false labor than I thought possible. I don’t think a day has gone by in the past week where I haven’t had at least an hour or two of mild contractions. They never progress. I love the little games my body plays. Not.

5. I have so many signs. I feel dilated. In other words, when I stand up I feel like I have a bowling ball between my legs that I can no longer hold onto and is about to fall out. I have been a nesting mad woman. At least our house is clean. I’ve lost the “plug”. I will leave that there. Even I think that might be TMI to share more about. I have dropped. Baby B isn’t riding so high anymore. My belly suddenly feels smaller and I can breathe again. Shouldn’t this all add up to something? Apparently not.

But I must remember – God’s timing is best. Plus, while he chills in there, I get to do important things. Like play with Makenzie…

…have some extra relaxing nights chilling with my wonderful husband…

…do fun workouts (gotta love Peter’s fabulous action shot while I did a low impact step video a few days ago)…

…and help watch my nephews so my sister-in-law can get the help she needs when not feeling well (like happened today – and I hope you’re doing better, Marie!).

I’m still ready. But I can be patient.  And I can secretly hope that this post will lead to the irony of me going into labor shortly after publishing. Hey. Just being honest. 😉

Question of the Evening – Let’s have a little fun. When do YOU think Baby B will make his grand appearance based on the above info?