I looked at the calendar today. The combination of our calendar tucked away on the side of the refrigerator and my relative obliviousness to the passing blur of days always leaves me surprised when I do stop to take a peek. Hold up. What day is it again? And then the following three thoughts cross my mind:

• Must. Remember. To. Send. August. Preschool. Payment. MUST. Remember! (think someone is looking forward to the start of preschool?…then again my baby can’t be big enough yet! – tears commence)
• Healthy Living Summit is in three weeks. Squeal with delight. But…oh yea. I need to find the time somewhere to finalize all the panel details. Yikes. Three weeks?!
• Happy Birthday to me in four weeks from today!

Since my upcoming birthday has no extra freak out emotions, we’ll lay our focus there. I remember as a kid always having to craft up wish lists for my parents well in advance. You all know how I enjoy making lists. Making a list detailing fun things I would love to have awaiting me four weeks from now sounds like a pretty good way to occupy my time. And we’ll just gloss over the fact it only takes 30 seconds since I’ve had one running in my mind for at least the past two months.

A Subscription to Runner’s World

I am fully aware that running has overtaken me. I am also fully content with that and want it to overtake me even more. This way I can get my running fix even on those elliptical cross-training sessions. Winning, no?

The Women’s Health Big Book of Exercises

I used to own this book and loved it to help me always have something new to do for my workouts. It got lost in a move sometime ago and I want it back. Perhaps its lost with my previous love of reading novels because now apparently all I want to read are exercise books (NASM study materials, hello!!!), running magazines, and blogs.

iTunes Gift Card

A gift that would keep on giving. And earn you a spot in my rambling thoughts during my half marathon as I would use this gift to help create a rocking playlist for the race.

Massage

Because I’m obviously going to need one considering my first three gift choices.

Tickets to See Wicked

Wicked is coming to The Fox! Wicked is coming to The Fox! Wicked is coming to The Fox!!! Only my favorite theater in Atlanta. Only the one Broadway musical I have been hoping would make its way to Atlanta one day. Only the best idea for a date night for me! Think I threw enough hints in there? 😉

A New FFF Shirt

Just because I create them doesn’t mean I get them for free. I want one of these two that I came up with after my original designs.

Any of the Following Will Do…

  

Would you expect any less of me?

A Day Where It’s All About Me

Okay, that sounds extraordinarily selfish but I only ask for 2 of 365 days (birthday and Mother’s Day) to have the focus on me, myself, and I. To get cared for by others instead of taking care of others. And I must admit that I desperately need that feeling for this birthday. I could care less about any of the other things as long as I get that one day to feel special, appreciated, and care-free. Although Wicked tickets sure would make a nice fit. Too bad a certain two-year-old’s tuition takes precedence. Then again, that could very well be a gift that keeps on giving as well. Not bad at all, I’ll say.

• Do you ever make gift wish lists? What would be on yours?
• In what month is your birthday?

I feel fat.

I hate that phrase. I despise it even more when it’s crossing my lips and my thoughts. And I downright loathe it when it happens for an entire day before I even recognize it and have the chance to shake myself from the mindset.

Yesterday I had what many would coin a “fat day”. I had an enjoyable weekend – a shower celebrating a much awaited pregnancy/baby for a dear friend and a couple of relaxing nights with my husband. My enjoyable weekend also included quite a few gems like these…

 

Peanut Butter Graham Truffles. Cupcakes. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Dip. Baby shower food. Handfuls of chocolate chips. Unpictured DQ Blizzard.

This is not extremely out of the norm. I readily indulge in a few extra treats practically every weekend. Sometimes, I have extra because of more social events or a surge of cravings. Well, I had a surge of cravings this weekend and rode that sugar wave until I came crashing down Monday morning. It wouldn’t surprise me if that caused the bad headache I suffered all day yesterday.

The headache that, coupled with sore legs, truly debilitated me and left me with an unplanned rest day. That unplanned rest day sent me from my typical “wow-I-ate-a-lot-of-sugar-this-weekend-but-oh-well-it-was-tasty” attitude to an '”ugh-i-feel-fat-i-should-not-have-eaten-xyx” depressing mode. Silly, I know. And it took me all day to realize I had such defeating thoughts going through my head.

As I have discussed before – fat is not a feeling. Something else going on typically costumes itself as the “fat feeling”. When I recognized the fat talk happening, I thought about it and quickly discovered the issues:

• I didn’t feel fat. I simply didn’t feel like myself – energetic, strong, healthy. A standard side effect to the excess sugar I partook. Just body science. NOT something to beat myself up over in the slightest.
• I didn’t feel fat. I simply felt discouraged that I couldn’t fully rest and relax like I knew my body needed…and defeated knowing I would be going the parenting alone all day despite the fatigue and achy head/body.

Once I put my finger on the true matters affecting me, both physically and mentally, I freed myself of that “fat feeling” and gained solace knowing the temporary state of my situation. Seeing my thoughts for what they were helped me to change them and move on. So now I can go about today feeling more back to myself. Fat feeling be damned.

What things trigger the “fat feeling” for you? How do you fight it?