Life brings many changes. I sit here tonight with only 10 weeks left until my official due date. Something about reaching that 10 week countdown makes it feel so much closer. I can see the light at the end of this physically painful and emotionally draining tunnel.

As excited as I feel, I also have some reservations. Will baby B be as laid back as little M was? Will breastfeeding go relatively smoothly? Will he sleep for longer stretches sooner rather than later? Will this labor and delivery be harder than the less than 6 hours I experienced with Makenzie? I’m thinking likely yes on that one.

Funnily enough, I didn’t have many concerns about those types of things before Makenzie. I wondered more about the big picture. How would my life change? Was I ready to be a MOM?!?

I learned that life didn’t have to drastically change. It took some time, but I realized that I could still be my own person and live my own life. Yes, I could still have a life while being a mother…an even better one.

I had heard the clichéd “you don’t know what truly unconditional love is until you have a child” statement before. I am now a cliché. I never knew I could love so much. I never thought I could physically ache over another person’s wellness. Not just sympathy, but deep-down-to-the-guts-and-bones empathy. I’ve already shared numerous times how having Makenzie motivated me to become the best version of myself possible and brought much personal growth. It all came from that love.

I gained new perspective on what truly mattered and spent more time in those things. I laughed more than I ever had. I still laugh numerous times a day from her antics. I get to do things like a kid again. Holidays, traditions, trips to the grocery store, visits to the park, etc, etc, etc all hold such opportunity and simple joy. To put it plainly, life became more fun.

I won’t deny that some changes came. Financially things changed, as I decided to stay home from work and, let’s face it, kids cost moolah. We didn’t have as much disposable income for things like home projects we hoped to accomplish or traveling. We had to set budgets and more closely watch our spending. We may no longer have the freedom to purchase things we desire without much thought, but I don’t view it as a sacrifice. With love, you make things work. So, we do and are  happier for it.

I guess that is all I need to remember now, as well. With love, you make things work. I will do just that as I adjust to two, even if it creates more of a challenge than I had the first time around. A special thanks to Chelsey for prompting this discussion with her question for the Q + A series!

• What is the biggest change you have encountered in your life so far?
• What changes concern you the most about becoming a mother? Or, if you are already a mom, what changes were the hardest for you?

For today’s post, I want to focus on a question I received for the November Ask Me Anything Series:

Can you talk about what it really takes to have abs? For example, what did it take to have the flat stomach you had during your competition prep? Is it something that others could aim for in terms of their physique goals or do you think it's unrealistic?

I have shared a post on this before, but it was awhile ago before many of my current readers were around. Instead of just linking to an old post, I decided this was a topic worth discussing again so I updated that old post to more specifically fit the question above. I hope you all enjoy reading it…and if you were around for the previous post, my apologies. As well as my gratitude for being such a loyal, long-time reader! 😀

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I will start off by differentiating two “styles” of abs. On the one hand, some view abs as the picture on the left. Very defined, no pooches visible, lean with obvious musculature, the six-pack (or even four-pack) look. Others define having abs as simply a flat stomach with some definition, similar to the photo on the right.

[Source 1, Source 2]

The difference between the two matters greatly. So, for the portion of the question asking if the pursuit of abs is a reasonable physique goal, my personal opinion is NO for maintaining and achieving the more “ripped” abs look. Why? Well, there are many factors to keep in mind.

1. It is very difficult to maintain. A lot of things have to happen in order to achieve abs like the ones above. It is highly probable that years of tough workouts and a very “clean” diet would be involved. You would likely be eating very controlled day in and day out with extremely limited or no treats for a long, long time. And have to couple it with a fair amount of time spent in consistent workouts as well. For some, a lifestyle like that works. But for many, we have other facets of our lives and have certain foods we enjoy and don’t want to give up for life. I had abs for awhile last year during my competition prep.

Even at 14% body fat, they didn’t look like what you see on a fitness model. During prep, I was very meticulous with my food – counting, measuring, tracking, and eating much less than what my body needed. I spent hours (yes, plural) working out each day with high intensity. I knew the way I was living during prep wasn’t something I could (or would even want) to maintain.Some things aren’t worth it and I realized it doesn’t make me any less worthy to not have that stomach.

2. Unhealthy low body fat levels. In order for abs to be visible on a woman she generally would have to reach a body fat level of around 12%. Athletes have an average body fat percentage of 15-20% and the average woman has a percentage of 22-28%, which is NOT bad. In fact, low levels, such as the approximate 12% for six-pack abs, can be detrimental to your health. Issues ranging from fatigue to menstrual issues to low bone density are common when living at such a low body fat level. Personally, I would rather be healthy on the inside with energy, the option to bear children, and the ability to walk when I’m 50.

3. Genetics. You could work your butt off in the gym, diet like crazy, achieve the required level of leanness and STILL not have abs like you see in fitness magazines. Some women have more predominant abdominal muscles that will stick out and show up more readily when they lean out. Others will end up with a flatter stomach and may not have the clear sections of the abdominal wall show through.

4. Even models don’t keep their abs year round. You have to be wary that what you see in magazines could be “refinished” to help the look along. In my opinion, the image below looks iffy and touched up. Also, when women work towards a photo shoot or fitness competition they have a specific date to work towards. They lean down for the event and then go back to more real life living. That doesn’t mean they don’t look amazing other times of the year, but it is likely their midsections aren’t quite as defined 24/7/365 like you think.

source

And while I do believe that it is reasonable to work for and maintain abs that more resemble a flat but not overly defined stomach, I would highly suggest focusing less on aesthetic goals. I believe it is more beneficial and rewarding to simply have a goal to care for ourselves with proper nutrition and challenge ourselves accordingly with fitness related goals. I think working towards those types of goals, without a specific image of our “perfect” body in mind, will bring us right to where our bodies feel best. And where we should feel best, too.

• What are your thoughts on abs?
• Have you ever worked hard to achieve a goal only to realize it wasn’t very maintainable and didn’t make you as happy as you expected?