Alternate titles to this post:

• I Promise I’m Not Always This Stupid
• Mile Markers Stole My Thunder
• Seriously? Seriously?!?

So, Saturday means long run day for me. I have four weeks until my first half marathon (or official half marathon…but we’ll get to that in a minute). For my last four weeks, I had a game plan. It went something like this:

• Oct 8 – 12 mile run
• Oct 15 – 15K race with Lee (in a week?! that one snuck up on me!)
• Oct 22 – 12 miles again
• Oct 29 – 10 miles (still good distance, but not as high before race day)
• Nov 5 – Savannah RNR, baby!!!!

I wanted to fit in a couple of 12 miler runs to help myself feel better prepared, mentally and physically for my run.

In my mind, 12 made the perfect distance to feel more than ready for a half marathon distance, but to still make hitting 13.1 special.

I can’t tell you how many times the image of crossing the Savannah RNR finish line and achieving that goal has motivated me on my long runs. Keeping 13.1 special means a lot to me. I wanted to save it for race day.

Notice that? I wanted to save it for race day.

It may make me a whiny, bratty witch to complain about that…but it bothered me. Allow me to pitch a hissy fit for a few minutes? I promise to get over it by the end of this post.

For my run this morning, I didn’t want to worry about my pace in hitting a new PDR of 12 miles. I strapped on my Garmin but told myself to avoid looking at it at all costs. I did a very good job of that and solely used the mileage markers on the running path to guide my run.

When I thought I had reached 6 miles based on the markers, I checked my Garmin while grabbing my Gu from my Spibelt. It read 6.36 miles. Oh, great. There was nothing I could do about it, besides turn around and run back. I would just end up with about .7 miles extra on my run.

Then…I had to take a pit stop to the bathroom on the way back. The bathroom is off a side trail, that I thought would be relatively short. It was .2 miles each way. Can you do the math? 6.36 + 6.36 + .2 + .2 = right at 13.1 miles.

My special distance. The distance I wanted to hit crossing a finish line, with my husband watching me and then get the chance to celebrate the heck out of that day later with friends. I ended the run feeling strong, but kind of gipped.

I know full well that being able to run 13.1 miles is nothing to whine about. I will still feel so proud crossing the finish line. I feel in awe of my body today that it accomplished that distance.

Thanks for letting me gripe. First, I’m going to have Makenzie help me learn how to count. Then, I’m going to knock some sense into myself and get over it. Feel free to help me out.  

• Do you get emotionally attached to reaching goals at all?

Life certainly has its ups and downs. I have highs and lows in my marriage. Peaks and valleys in my healthy habits. Surges and trickles in my devotion to my passions. Yet, only one can take the title of Biggest Emotional Rollercoaster EVER.

Drumroll please.

Motherhood.

Being a mommy will send your emotions through the wringer and make your head spin more times in a day than I thought could happen while still staying sane. Although, some may argue my head isn’t exactly screwed on straight. I hear ya. It’s not surprising when you consider the following…

Braedon caught Makenzie’s virus. When he gets sick, he has a very hard time breathing. The thought of your child not being able to breathe is enough to put you over the ledge of crazy-freak-out-worry-wart.

Breathing treatments have returned…

Then, you stumble across a moment like this and feel nothing but peace.

And thank heavens he decided to take a nap. It was a looonnnnggg night last night. Baby boy needed some rest even more than mommy needed a break.

Then, let’s not forget the other roller coaster that comes in the 28 pound package with blonde curls and way too much energy.

One moment I can find myself wanting to rip my hair out, even while praying for the ability to show the little terror some grace.

And suddenly she does something to melt your heart and make you forget the tantrum from mere seconds ago.

You want to know what she said? I love you THIS much, Mommy! It’s a circle. It goes round and round and never stops.

Putty. In. Her. Hands.

Emotional rollercoaster? Most definitely. Best ride of my life? You betcha.

• What’s an “emotional rollercoaster” for you?