lost
Happy afternoon! I have some things I need to take a few moments to discuss this afternoon. I hope you receive them well because each of you mean so much to me. Faith, Fitness, Fun would not be where it is today without you and would have no chance of developing as I hope it to in the future without your support either.
I feel the 30 Days of Self-Love working in ways I never anticipated. My feelings in relation to the initiative greatly surprised me. I shared some confessions last week about the 30 Days in my “I Have Weak Moments” post. I thought that emotionally draining post would last me through the last 20 or so days. Apparently, I thought wrong.
Recently I have faced some disturbing feelings. I felt lost in a sense. I felt as though the 30 Days has begun to eclipse my blog voice which I worked so hard to find. Sometimes my blog doesn’t feel like me. And the only reason I can come up with for it is the 30 Days.
I took a long, hard look at why. I still feel just as strongly, if not more so, that positive reflections can make a profound impact in how we view ourselves and how we live out our lives. I still believe in sharing uplifting messages on topics that need attention. I still hope to provide support to others and for Faith, Fitness, Fun to be a common ground people can come to in search of a fun and uplifting environment.
That’s when it hit me. I felt lost because I felt I had lost some of the fun. Check out my blog name! Fun is a pretty integral part of who I am and my values. After typing today’s post I discovered even more. Today’s post was more my style. It wasn’t quite as serious, but still shared a strong message. I hit publish with a smile on my face and a light heart. Prior posts started to become more about a task to do and feeling the pressure to do it well. I wasn’t using my true blog voice.
I will not end this 30 Days movement. Like I said above, I still have a fire burning inside me for it to reach people. I still care about the message and each of you participating in that message. This all simply means I will work to regain a sense of myself and my blog though during the last half of September. My posts will cover the same topics I planned to, but may be written in a slightly different style. I also want to regain a sense of sharing who I am on the blog. For that reason, my posting schedule will likely change.
It’s very hard for me to find the appropriate words to portray what I currently think and feel. I do NOT want to take away from the 30 Days and the impact it is making for some. It has already taught me so many things simply by leading it and I appreciate every second I put into it. I do NOT want to seem all “me, me, me” because that is not the reason I hope to share more of my thoughts and experiences again. I simply want to get back to what I worked so hard for Faith, Fitness, Fun to become in recent months. I no longer want to be lost within myself and the guidelines, pressures, etc I was placing on myself the past couple of weeks. Please understand and I hope you will stick around for the changes. Will you join me?
- Have you ever feared making change because of what other people may think? Do you still go for it?
- What’s the hardest part of blogging in your opinion? I think finding what works for you personally, but will also help keep your blog working as you hope is really difficult. I want my blog to motivate others in all areas – healthy living through balance, fitness (which you’ll hopefully get more from after this baby ;)), making the most out of life, what faith can do in a life, overcoming past trials, etc. I want to accomplish those things and it takes a lot of time and soul-searching to determine how my writing and blogging style works for that purpose.
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