I made it through the day! I feel so much better right now too. I knew that still focusing on eating well and getting in activity would help overall. It certainly did. I ate my typical meals and completed the 3rd level of the Slim in 6 Circuit workout. An hour of body movement always helps cheer me up.

Now are you ready to learn the details of the last two nights? Middle of the nights are not my emotional friend. The past two nights I have experienced a severe case of “Maniacal Mommy Mind”. The diagnosis:

Maniacal Mommy Mind occurs when all sense of reason leaves the mother, resulting in unnecessary feelings of guilt, doubt, unattractiveness, resentment, and more.

That disease does exist and I have lived to tell about it. Here’s how it all plays out…

Step 1: Braedon wakes for one of his night-time feedings. 45 minutes later I put him back down to sleep. He won’t fall asleep. I try to soothe him, yet he still fusses.

Step 2: Peter wakes up from the commotion and offers to help me out. I proceed to get all “mommy territorial” and tell him the following: No. Go back to sleep. You have to get up for work. Its my job to handle Braedon.

Step 3: The exhaustion sinks in. The tears start trickling out. I feel overwhelmed too easily in the middle of the night. Peter, still calm, comes in and saves the day. How does he do that?! Then, proceeds to calm me down and try to help me fall back asleep. I start crying more.

Step 4: The following happens -

• I believe I should have been able to handle Braedon by myself. I begin questioning if I’m good enough as a mom and then, as a wife, because Peter lost sleep for work.
• I go over how Peter does so much. He comes home and immediately lets me get away for an hour to get in a workout for my “me-time”. I proceed to feel guilty over wanting me-time and working out.
• I’m exhausted and emotional which makes the fat-talk all too easy to slip in.

Step 5: I proceed to break down with these crazy thoughts and get swallowed by the “Maniacal Mommy Mind” until I finally crash back to sleep.In the morning, as tired as I may feel, I DO regain perspective. Part of motherhood is the 100% commitment and it is truly a blessing. Peter and I are a team. I should not have so much pride that I inhibit him helping meet my needs. Some days and nights will present challenges. They won’t last and I can manage. I do not want to lose the positive relationship I built with myself, so I give up the negative talk and choose to care for my body. (And sometimes re-read things like my guest post for Samantha to keep myself in check.) So Maniacal Mommy Mind, it’s about time you leave me alone. I know better than what you try to tell me. Oh, do I know better. This is my mind now.

Question of the Evening – If a mommy = Have you ever faced Maniacal Mommy Mind? Not a mommy = What do you have trouble getting help with?

Well you all certainly want to know more about breastfeeding. I received so many great questions that I will have to split this into two posts! Please remember all of the following answers are based off my own personal experiences. I’m not a professional except with my own body and my own children. Now that’s out of the way – let’s get to the questions. And for those not interested in the milk makers, scroll through for a fun announcement!

What were the best resources for you?
When pregnant with Makenzie I read a lot. I found the most comprehensive resource on breastfeeding related topics was the American Academy of Pediatrics book.

The book covered a lot of information and helped me have an idea on what types of things to expect. We also took a breastfeeding class through the hospital during my pregnancy with M. While both were certainly good resources, it didn’t truly prepare me. Personally, I couldn’t learn or grasp the information until I could practice with my own child. The consultants from the hospital were fabulous at helping answer questions. I certainly recommend learning as much as possible, but don’t let it overwhelm you before you actually get there.

How often do you do it?
In the first few weeks the frequency of feedings is much higher. Right now I feed Braedon every 2-3 hours during the day. Then, he typically goes 4 hours between feedings at night. The daytime feedings stretch to every 3-4 hours as they get older, and with time the night feedings gradually drop. With Makenzie, she was down to eating 5 times during the day (every 3 hours) with no feedings overnight by 4.5 months old.

How long is the average breastfeeding session? Do you switch boobs every few minutes or just alternate feeding sessions?

The average session for me is about 30 minutes of feeding time. I usually do an entire feeding on one side and then alternate each feeding to keep things balanced. I do have the more rare issue of oversupply and forceful letdown (aka my milk comes pouring out…aren’t you glad to know that?). For that reason, I have to feed on one side each feeding to get enough of the fattier milk into him. The longer he feeds on one side the richer the milk becomes. It is standard for many women without that issue to feed 15 minutes per breast each feeding. Once again, something to figure out what works best with your own experiences.

How significant is the pain/discomfort?
The first time around…very. I was actually pretty shocked at how much it hurt. The swelling during engorgement literally had me feeling I was about to split in two. My nipples cracked and that hurts as badly as it sounds. The “letdown” feeling of the baby getting milk burned like crazy and I would tear up with almost every feeding. BUT!!!! A huge but….it was very temporary. Someone told me give it 6 weeks, then it magically gets better. I wanted to quit so many times with M but stuck it out. Then, bam. Six weeks in and it became the easiest thing ever. No pain. With baby B, I experienced very little pain after the first week of readjusting to breastfeeding.

Do you pump and use bottles ever?

We haven’t started yet…but I did with M and plan to with B. I started pumping extra to get M used to taking a bottle on occasion at around 3 or 4 weeks post-partum. I would pump once extra in the evening after feeding to build up a supply for when I couldn’t feed. Then I would always pump at any feedings I missed. I also pumped extra after occasional morning feeds and night feeds when I felt my milk supply dropping at all. *Ahem ahem Fitbloggin roomies – that means I will be pumping all weekend with you. You still love me, right? :D*

Question of the Day – How would you spend your feeding time? I either read blogs and catch up on emails or listen to M read me books. Night feedings are all about the snuggles!

Fun Announcement! Braedon’s Newborn Gallery is up and running!

You will have to create an account to view them, but it’s quick and she will not have access to your email from it. Once you create an account, click “Access Gallery” and use the code “braedon” to enter. Click to enjoy! And thanks to Laura Brett Photography for her EXCELLENT work!