Seeing as the most exciting parts of my day included a one hour nap and a cry from pain in the shower, I don’t have much to say. I couldn’t muster much more energy after that shower. Darn personal hygiene and social decorum to look presentable at church tonight. For that reason, this post will be short and sweet. I know you all are likely sick of hearing the ailments of this pregnancy. Believe me, so am I. But that’s all I got for a post right now. A need to vent. Please forgive me as I wax poetic about this once again. I promise it will be the last time…for at least a good while.

I miss my cheer and energy. I hate feeling lazy. I hate being grumpy and I know it has happened more often than normal the past 7 months.

I miss my “happy place” body. Yea, I said it. I don’t feel poorly about how I look right now. I don’t analyze my size or bemoan extra softness. I still feel beautiful. I just miss feeling fit and having the ability to do things I can do in that non-pregnant, back in the strong workouts body.(And I can’t believe how small she was only a bit over a year ago!)

I miss wine. ‘Nough said.

I miss sushi. ‘Nough said. Well, besides that Peter will be brining me some for dinner sometime after delivery. Yes, in the hospital. I wonder if they will allow him to bring in some wine too? Hmmmm…..

I miss sleep. Yea yea yea. I won’t get much following the birth with a newborn. But at least the sleep I do get will feel comfortable. Stomach sleep, how I miss you.

I miss smaller boobs. Yea yea yea. Those will get bigger for awhile afterwards too thanks to nursing. But at least there will be an end in sight.

I miss not knowing what sciatic pain was. Oh, dear heavens, ignorance really is bliss when it comes to that.

I miss craving healthy food. I still eat it, and ultimately enjoy it, but I don’t love it. I miss loving it!

I miss pain medicine. I don’t take it very often, but when I do I usually need something stronger. Tylenol just does not work for me.

I miss control of my bladder. Going to the bathroom one zillion times a day and having to take care when sneezing, laughing, or coughing gets old real fast.

I miss my mind. I forget things so easily. I lost a flip flop today. I still have no clue where that sucker went. I had them both on when I sat down on the couch, then one when I stood up. How? How?!

I miss the freedom to be me. Plain and simple. I miss being me.

• What would be the hardest thing for you to deal with for 9 months?
• Don’t forget to ASK ME ANYTHING for the Q + A series in November!

Before I begin this post, I first wanted to thank you all for your comments on the past two posts. First, for all the fabulous ideas on low volume, nutritionally/calorically dense foods. Avocados, nuts, full fat cheeses/yogurts, trail mix, lara bars, and hummus – here I come. Next, thank you for all the thoughtful comments on this morning’s post relating to faith. I didn’t intend the post to come across as me questioning sharing my faith or how I do so in any way. I am 100% confident in what I do here and solely wanted to share the why. I really appreciated reading all of your insights and opinions as well. Thank you to each person who shared!

Each day, I wear many hats so to speak. Most important of those is acting as a role model. More specifically, a role model to little M. She copies everything.

She tries to dress like mommy. She loves to play on her ‘puter just like mommy.

She picks up phrases like “holy cow!” from mommy. And shouts “Gooooo Dawgs! Sic ‘em!” whenever she sees a Georgia decoration.

She is into workouts with her mommy.

She has a sweet tooth like her mommy, evidenced by her constant begging for a lollipop at the doctor office today. She also loves things like tofu, apples, beans, broccoli, and yogurt like her mommy too.

I cannot deny that this little person closely monitors all of my actions, attitudes, and decisions. Or that I have the greatest impact on her development, especially at this stage when we’re together all. the. time.

That feels kind of frightening. I love little M so much and only want what is best for her. I want her to have a healthy relationship with her body. I desire her to feel loved and know how to show that love to others. I want nothing more than for her to develop into a strong young woman who believes in herself and holds to her values. Can you feel the pressure? I can. I can also feel, however, the privilege in this responsibility. And the unique opportunity it presents me to continuously grow and improve upon myself.

It was for her that I became more solidified in my journey to fully overcome binge eating. When pregnant with her I knew I had to continue working hard on the recovery I already started and having her in mind made it even easier. She kept the one relapse I faced immediately following my competition’s end from turning into more of a problem.

I never utter the word “fat” anymore because I don’t want that to ever be a way she views people. With her in mind, and sitting at my feet, I have had the power to stop myself from succumbing to old habits of critiquing my body in the mirror. Now the mirror is there to simply be sure I look presentable and move on. We own no scale so she will never see me step on and my mood change based on the number fed back to me.

I make sure to take time each day to laugh and play to bring more joy to her world. When things feel overwhelming, I find the strength to move on through prayer and do my best to never retaliate with frustration or anger. Even though that example doesn’t prevent two year old temper tantrums, I hope that my ability to stay calm helps her demeanor in troubles as she matures. I also always try to show kindness to others and take pleasure when she shares her cheerful demeanor with others.

Mothering poses so many challenges. Not only because we have to teach our children, but we also teach ourselves in the process. I think I do a pretty dang good job. It’s largely thanks to her though and the full circle process of learning from each other. I guess its true what they say. That the biggest challenges provide the most opportunity for growth. I feel it each and every day.

• In what ways are you a role model to someone?
• What challenges have helped you grow into a stronger person?
• Don’t forget to ASK ME ANYTHING for the November Q + A series!