When the kiddos’ naptime (aka my post-writing time) rolled around I stared at my screen with this dilemma:

The response came in for me on Twitter and Facebook (shameless plug to follow if you don’t already). Verdict = share what’s on my mind. Who am I to deny the answers social media provides? 

I have been facing an internal dilemma.What exactly? The scale. Dun dun dun!!!!

When maintaining my weight or gaining weight for conception and pregnancy I had absolutely no desire to use a scale. It did not matter to me in the least. Now I suddenly feel myself wishing I could have it available to me. Why? Well, I am trying to lose weight. Its necessary to get back to that place I personally feel my best. I sort of miss having a concrete way to know how those efforts pan out. I feel like I am approaching my goals blindly.

Although harder, its still possible to eat enough healthy food calories to inhibit weight loss. I also don’t want to lose too quickly, which can be detrimental to milk supply. And I have no clue if I’m doing either of those things. I fear that I will reach a point where I feel I’m not making progress and will then make unnecessary changes. It’s interesting…I gave up the scale to not have mental games, yet now it seems to be causing even more of those games.

I tell myself the following: I feel confident in my relationship with my body. I believe I could use a scale without getting caught up in the number. I trust that I would use it as a tool and nothing more – simply as a more regular gauge in addition to my clothes and progress pictures, which both take longer to show noticeable progress. I would still do my thing, with minor tweaks when needed and not because I think its time as I may without a scale. I would not focus on reaching a particular number and would never do anything drastic in the name of achieving a number. I would keep the balanced approach I have strived to achieve.

Then, there’s the other side. I know I don’t need a scale to tell me I’m making good choices for my health…and health matters most. I have stated here my belief in getting back in shape scale-free. I would feel like I was letting FFF, and its readers, down. I also feel like I would lose credibility personally. I have other ways I can track progress and focus on. I know that, while I weighed myself weekly after Makenzie, my body naturally returned to its happy place. Although I used the scale to reach my goals, I didn’t depend on it either.

I still don’t know where I end up with this internal dilemma. I want to be true to myself, my beliefs on health and balance, this blog and what it represents above all else. Can the two coexist?

Question of the Evening – What’s your relationship with the scale? Or any thoughts?

Just like clockwork, baby B has hit his first growth spurt. Infants typically experience a growth spurt around 7-10 days old, 3 weeks old, 6 weeks old, 3 months old, and 6 months old. Baby B is 9 days old today and has certainly decided to boost his eating in the last 24 hours. What does that mean for me?

A) I spent my day in my pretty pink robe because it has easier access for the boy.

B) I parked myself in my comfy chair for the majority of my day. 
C)  I was HUNGRY! I wanted to eat nonstop. So I pretty much did. A bowl of oats, a bowl of cereal, leftover brunswick stew, peanut butter + crackers, dark chocolate bar, Chobani yogurt, banana, and now a Subway sub for dinner.

In the midst of playing booby bar I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer to defrost for tonight’s planned dinner. Oops. Subway to the rescue. And I have a feeling there will be some sort of dessert tonight. This kid does not stop!

D) I was THIRSTY! I drank seven of my Camelbak water bottles today. That’s over 5 liters! I visited the porcelain chair the other chunk of my day.

And I did find out something exciting today. While the little man works on growing, my body has been shrinking. After my shower I decided to try on my pre-pregnancy jeans just to see how far I had to go to fit back into them. What do you know? They fit!

These jeans aren’t one of the many pairs I hope to wear as my final goal (jeans from my “happy place”), but I still call it a huge success. They may have a lot more muffin-top action going on because of my post-partum stomach, but I still think I look dang good. It certainly brought a smile to my face…though not as big a smile as all your congratulatory comments on FFF’s one year. Or the smile I get from cuddling this little guy…

Question of the Evening – What was the hungriest you have ever felt?