Today I want to emphasize exactly how I feel about today’s topic. STOP. IT. NOW!!!! Stop what? Putting yourself down or “fat talk” as this dialogue has recently been coined. Caitlin discusses it in her Operation Beautiful book at greater length, and while I am not going back and referencing it specifically this morning, some of what I share while writing is likely impacted by that book. If you haven’t read it, you must!

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We all know about fat talk. Even if you have never heard the term, you have experienced it. It lies in that inner dialogue of self-doubt that puts down our image and denies us of our true beauty. I actually like to think of it as “self-doubt talk” because I believe it plays in more than physical appearance. It comes when we commiserate with other women about how “this dress makes me look fat” or “gosh, I’m so stupid to think the boss would like my idea”. Maybe it even hides behind those times we refuse to accept compliments.

Just like Caitlin, I don’t even begin to think we can fully stop such negative thoughts. They will always find a way to creep back in. We need to become more aware of them and work hard to stop them in their tracks. I have more confidence than ever in who I am, my ability to care for myself, that I have much to offer others, and that I am in fact beautiful. I still face fat talk more often than I care to admit. Maybe even to the likes of once a day. The difference is I can stop it in its tracks.

Yesterday for example, while out to eat I went to the restroom which had (for some reason) a set up with numerous mirrors. When standing to pull up my pants, I look in front of me and bam there’s a reflection of my behind. Dun dun dun. Enter fat talk in its evil combat suit.

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“You worked sooo hard to get that thing in shape and now its just gotten lumpy pancake disease again. It will never look nice.” “You’ve been eating so TERRIBLE. You won’t be able to lose the weight.” “And just look at how you’re dressed! You don’t fit in here!”   …shake head in realization…

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What are some steps I take to stop the “self-doubt” talk when it begins?

• Remember those gifts of the body. Remember how the part you criticize works for you. I am not in the best shape right now because I am carrying a child! It would be a sad situation if I was because then I wouldn’t be providing for my baby first.
• Replace with a positive. My butt may not be looking too pretty, but it will again. And my legs are still in pretty dang good shape. So there! (I think I actually stuck my tongue out to the mirror at this point…I don’t make these things up)
• Be realistic. I’m not eating TERRIBLE. I know it’s not my best, but its not terrible. Heck! The dinner awaiting  me outside that restroom was hummus, veggies, pita, and one all meat crab cake! The birthday cake I ate earlier? Naturally sweetened apple cake made from scratch by my sister in law. Yea. Soooo TERRIBLE!
• Reaffirm yourself. Think outside the physical quality or whatever you are tearing down and consider your strengths. I know I will have the drive to care for my health and get back to a comfortable and healthy place for me after this baby. I did it once and I will do it again. I know that.
• Tell someone who you trust will support you and not turn it into a game of “who has it worse”. After recognizing these thoughts, I later shared them with Peter. He reminded me of the advice I give to others and bluntly told me to take it myself. Touche my man. Touche. It snapped me out of it.

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One last thing – be aware of when others participate in fat talk. Don’t allow them to! It makes it easier for you to participate as well. As women, we should be lifting each other up instead of standing by while we tear our own selves apart. Simply say “Stop. You’re smarter than to put yourself down like that”. I think this works best because you’re not handing out a compliment to reaffirm the behavior. Also, you’re still showing you think highly of the person and want what is best for them.

This post has gone on long enough! What do you do to stop fat talk? From yourself or from others?

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Check out the blogs below for their own personal posts about the 30 DSLR.

• Life Is Better Than Fiction
• Ulterior Harmony
• Eat Feats
• A Fit and Spicy Life

Can I say how nice it felt to sleep in over an extra hour this morning? Because it did. Phenomenal actually. Although it did put me a bit behind in getting some things done. I’ll live and the world won’t collapse, so I’m cool with it.

For now, I want to share something my good friend Heather started recently. Her Faces of Beauty site. The site highlights women and why they believe in their beauty. Each post shows a gorgeous woman (because we are ALL gorgeous) with little to no make-up on and her statement of beauty. As this week will start the 30 Days of Self-Love, I feel compelled to share in positive affirmations of all forms. I hope you do as well and give her site a look. Then send your own image in! I already did mine!

My past has scars. Scars of not knowing how to love myself or even the belief that I should. These scars cloaked me until I was no longer visible. I masked my pain with an overwhelming need to control food and punish myself with excessive workouts. I cried myself to sleep so many times that my dreams lost their sense of peace and blurred with the nightmare of my hurt.

Somewhere along the way, though, the blindfold fell off. Something embraced me, solidified me, and showed me the true me. I began awakening each morning to take in the presence of this new sense of self. Those quiet moments helped to reaffirm my beauty. And now I know...

I am beautiful because God created me. I am beautiful because I have purpose, worth, and value in this world. I gave life to my children and the unconditional love that resides within me makes me beautiful too.

I am beautiful because I exude strength. I conquered depression, binge eating, anxiety, and hatred of my body. I am beautiful because I can forgive - myself and the person who caused much of my suffering. I am beautiful because I can lift weights, spin, kickbox, and sweat - pregnant or not.

I am beautiful because challenges do not stop me. I follow my passions to wherever they lead me - from self love challenges on my blog to sharing God's love with friends or strangers. I am beautiful because I am me. No one can take that away, so why on earth would I allow myself to do so? Love you for who you are. YOU are beautiful too!

Please check out the Faces of Beauty!!!

Update on the 30 Days of Self-Love - It’s coming! Day after tomorrow.Let’s get excitement flowing again! 😀 I sent out an email to all who commented on the “Are you in?” post. If you did not receive an email and would like to get the same information I will be sending out to others please let me know below with a comment.

• What makes you beautiful?
• Do you get stressed when you feel behind schedule or are you able to go with the flow? I typically stress myself, but today I knew I needed the rest and refused to let it bother me.