I have recently come to a tough decision. I hesitated to blog about because it’s a personal matter that I honestly anticipated receiving judgment over. Probably because any remotely attacking negative comment I have received on this blog has related to my mothering. Talk about a dagger to the heart.

I don’t know why I receive more negative comments about my parenting – how quickly I went back to blogging after Braedon, sharing pictures of my kids, “undeniably giving M an eating disorder when she grows up”, etc. I faced uncertainty posting this decision because I didn’t want to to be told in a round about way I had given up too easily or could have done more for my child.

While not all of you may relate, I know some can and that in itself warrants me stepping out on the limb. For the past month, I have officially been weaning Baby B from breastfeeding and plan to fully stop within the next month. I know I don’t have to “justify” myself, but I still want to express the why in case any of the many future mommies (or current mommies) who read this blog have faced or will face the same.

Why I’m Deciding To Stop Nursing

• I couldn’t keep up! The hungry boy needed more than my body could give him and I found myself having to supplement at least 50% of his feedings with formula all the time. It gets old to nurse, then prep a bottle, then feed again, etc. with another child to care for a as well.
• Milk stimulation wasn’t working. I took Fenugreek like it was my job, drank more water than my bladder could handle, pumped more, and many other tips. Nothing worked. Around the same time after Makenzie my supply decreased suddenly and dramatically. I spent 6 weeks fighting it without results. Now facing the same situation, I refuse to stress myself out like that again.
• Braedon wouldn’t nurse. As he gets older, he becomes more interested in exploring rather than nursing. He simply will not stay on the boob to eat! Then, when he would eat he would attack me with biting, kicking, clawing and pulling on the nips. Not so fun. Or effective. So I turned to pumping and giving him bottles…but that just decreased my supply even more.

It’s hard to give up that special bond and know that I would personally prefer him to drink solely breast milk, but it just isn’t happening anymore. I am NOT asking for tips. I know 99% of them. I have tried 100% of those. I did not take this decision lightly and being told “oh, you should have tried this” will leave me feeling like I didn’t do enough. I adored every moment I had with my little B in this way, but I also promised myself I would not stress if I encountered the same things as I did with Makenzie and had to stop before a year again.

I embrace this change because I know it suits me and my family. I have bags of frozen peas on standby to ice sore, weaning tatas should I find the need. Although, honestly, my supply has gotten that bad that even after dropping another feeding yesterday I felt nothing. So…I guess say goodbye to the milk jugs and hello to the itty bitty titty committee. I hope I get a warm welcome.  

• Do you receive negative feedback or judgment (on the blog or in everyday life) more readily in a particular area? What?
• What type of unsolicited advice do you hate to receive? I hate getting unsolicited parenting advice. I do what works for my family and if I need help, guidance, or support – let me ask!

***Look for an announcement with the Love Grown Giveaway winner tonight!!!***

Holy moly fritoly! Today has been insane!!! I have had to play the catch up game from the moment I awoke this morning. Does anyone else feel like things multiply into a tremendous mountain of to-dos if you leave things for a few days? I sure do. And the proof is in the pudding laundry, dishes, and emails – oh my!

This morning when I woke up I wanted to get to the gym…badly. I was ready to tackle a great workout before dropping Makenzie off at preschool. I got dressed to go and had a smile on my face.

Then, I came downstairs and saw the incessant things that needed some tender loving care. I don’t function well if our main living spaces don’t have some semblance of order, so I scratched the workout for some speed cleaning instead.

Bing. Bang. Boom. I knocked out quite a lot of those pesky little tasks and could breathe easy. Things may not be truly clean clean, but they work well enough for me. Honestly though? Things are never really clean clean in this house. I am a very superficial cleaner. Wipe off the counters. Put away dishes. Sweep up the floors. Maybe dust a bit or swipe a brush through the toilets if you’re lucky. I don’t think I can tell you the last time I did anything like clean the baseboards, deep clean the tubs/showers, or give my floors a good cleaning. I have enough trouble showering myself!

After this morning’s quick clean fest I got to thinking that maybe I should take care of that. Or invest in a monthly maid visit. That sounds better. I have thought of allowing myself a monthly massage indulgence as a reward. Maybe I could switch that out for a cleaning service indulgence? There’s a thought. Although, gah! I don’t know which would be a better choice! Which needs a better rub down? My body or my baseboards?

I think I know why I have such issues with staying on top of cleaning. Many days my time boils down to the following: cleaning or playing with my kids? Cleaning or blogging? Cleaning or going to the gym? Cleaning or watching Bachelor Pad? Ahem. You can see why cleaning just doesn’t happen around here.

I need to figure out what super powers got into me today though. I somehow did all of those things today…cleaning, blogging, gym (went to spin class this afternoon), and of course playing with the two most adorable beings on the planet!

I swear they have grown since I left for Healthy Living Summit. And gotten smarter. And cuter. And funnier. And snugglier. I missed them so much! I even miss them now while they are in bed. I guess Bachelor Pad a supremely insightful book, podcast, or whatever will keep me company instead. Good night loves!

• Which would you choose – monthly massage or monthly cleaning service?
• Are you a superficial cleaner or are you amazing and deserve mad props for staying on top of deep cleaning?