*deep breath*

I sit here with an overwhelming sensation. A sensation that normally does not plague me as I produce blog post after blog post after blog post. Nervousness. Fear. Anxiousness. The thought of what I will share in this post puts me in a more vulnerable place than ever. It goes beyond my comfort zone of divulging crazy ideas to Peter. It breaks down the safety barriers of vagueness and general musings. It challenges me to say “I believe!” instead of “I wonder?”.

A perfect storm of forces has come together to drive me towards trusting in myself to go after these thoughts that have tugged at my heartstrings for longer than I care to admit. Tugs from God. Fitbloggin’ discussions. Reading Jillian Michaels’ book Unlimited. Coming across a plethora of blog posts about taking action. Devotional reading after devotional reading on using the talents God has blessed upon us, letting go of fear, and dreaming big. All of those things have joined together to get all up in my face trying to say “Tina, you need to DO something!”

But…but…but…but. That scares the shitake mushrooms out of me!!! Turning my dreams into action. No longer keeping my dreams hidden in the depths of my mind, but instead attempting to create them in my life. Uhhh…uhh…uhhh. I couldn’t possibly. Could I?

Yet if I hope for these things to ever blossom into a butterfly and break from the cocoon of my inner wishes, I must believe in them and in myself enough to speak them aloud. Sure, saying them doesn’t mean they will come true, but it does give them the chance to come true. I don’t want to avoid a challenge because a fear of failure. I don’t want to tiptoe around the path I trust God wants me on because of uncertainty in the outcome. I don’t want to half live my life.

So, I sit here at my computer. Sweaty palms. Racing heart. Big dreams.

I want to help others achieve their fitness goals. I don’t want to wait to start.

Before, I always anticipated getting into personal training when both kids were full-time in school. I refuse to commit to working out of the house on someone else’s schedule before then. Lately though? I have the urging to go ahead and pursue that dream of personal training by focusing on online training services and possibly local boot camps or something similar on my own schedule. I plan to order my study materials for the NASM certification after I return from vacation and get certified by the end of the year. Did I really just say that out loud? *deep breath*

I want to share my story – in a book.

I want to go in depth with all the nitty, gritty details of what led me to binge eating, the body image struggles I faced, the hit-you-in-the-gut emotions, the lessons I learned, the challenges I continue to encounter, and everything else that fires me up on the topic. I have always felt a reason existed for what I went through and for the longest time – even before I ever knew about blogging – I pictured using my experiences for others in this way. I believe I do that now through FFF, but something keeps telling me its possible to go a little bit beyond this small platform. Within the next year, I hope to start pursuing that call. Did I really just say that out loud? *shaking*

So…my dreams. Publishing them means I believe they can happen. Publishing them means I believe in myself. Dare I hit publish? *deeeeeepppppp breath* I dare.

• Does sharing your dreams scare you? Why or why not?
• Any dreams you before thought were unreasonable, but then accomplished?