Jessica from The Process of Healing posted this beautiful post. It is based off an award that is being passed around, but she passed it on to everyone. I think it is a good thing for all of us to consider the questions posed, and it was just the sort of thing I needed to really think about today as it has been another rough day. About once every week or two, I have days where I get more emotionally run down and today was that day. So thank you Jessica for sharing this and for allowing me to think of so many positive things about myself.

1) What physical features do you love about yourself?

I love my eyes and my arms. My eyes are big and a very vivid green. I think they are unique and stand out, which is nice to have something that is more special. I also like my arms because they have good definition and look strong. Also, they get to wrap around all the people I love.

2) How do you personally take care of yourself?

I take care of myself by really trying to honor my body's needs. I really try to respect myself. Feed myself with nutritious foods, but also things I enjoy. I don't workout if my body isn't up to it. I also take care of myself mentally and spiritually be focusing on my relationship with God. This heals me more than anything.

3) What are you looking forward to?

I hate to say that right now I am most looking forward to two pink lines that are the sign of growing our family. But, I do think it is important to look forward to something each and every day. It makes me enjoy life more and appreciate every day. So tomorrow I am looking forward to meeting Em from HomecookedEm.

4) Who has aided your recovery the most?

Um, I think you all can guess this one. My answer will without a doubt be God. I would not be where I am now (in so many ways) if it weren't for Him calling me back to Him and me following. Also, Peter has played a big role in showing me just how beautiful I am inside and out. As well as Makenzie. I have to be strong for her. And lastly, all of you. You have no idea how much your support is carrying me through any hard days I face.

5) What was the very last thing you ate?

A brownie with vanilla bean icecream. It was Peter's little bro's birthday celebration with his family today and that was our dessert. We ate 5 hours ago and I'm still not hungry. After some salad, one slice of pizza, and that brownie. I guess fat fills me up like crazy!

6) What is one material thing you are dying to have right now?

A NICE CAMERA!!! Need I say more? 😉

7) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

On a cruise in the Mediterranean. I want to go back to Europe and I adore cruise vacations. This would be perfect!

8 ) What is/was your biggest fear food, and how will/did you conquer it?

Well it used to be cereal. I could NOT control myself with it. Now it doesn't bother me in the least because I eat a balanced diet and don't ever get overly hungry that I feel the need to binge on it. Intuitive eating, baby!

9) What are your dreams for life after ED?

I'm past my ED (binge eating). My dreams for life after is to NEVER go back. To continue to honor my body and eat a balanced, healthy diet but not be afraid of enjoying food. And to help others in the process.

10) What advice would you give to someone concerning eating disorders?

Seek help in as many ways as you can. Don't try to battle it on your own. And I would really say turning to God is an important facet to that as well. When you know how much God loves you, you learn to love yourself all the more. And loving yourself will be a big step in overcoming ED.

Go ahead and share your answers on your blog! Because we are ALL beautiful.

I remember back in the day, when I competed on an all star cheerleading team. I remember the intense practices and the tough training for all those backtucks & layouts. And I also remember our coach drilling this motto into our heads - "Can't is NOT in your vocabularly!!". Everytime he caught us using "can't" in a sentence, it was outside to the parking lot to run suicides. Or lining up to do so many backtucks and toetouches in a row your body thought it would collapse. I used to hate hearing how we should never say that word.

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But you know what? As I have grown, I have realized that it makes a lot of sense. So much energy is in our thoughts it is incredible. Our thoughts can either empower us to do something we never dreamed of...or hinder us and hold us back. It took putting myself through a lot of learning situations to finally get it and try to remove "can't" from my vocabularly.

I used to always define my eating by what I was not allowed to have. I would tell myself "you can't have sugar"..."you can't have too much fat"..."you can't have anything processed at all"..."you can't have red meat"..."you can't can't can't". And you know what happened? I immediately craved anything that was a "can't" food. And then I would give in, feel like a failure, think I was incapable of  reaching whatever goal I was trying to accomplish, give up, and finally end by going overboard and overeating. Sounds like a fun cycle, huh? [Source]

And when I removed any limits from what I was allowed to eat, I naturally began craving healthy stuff and could fit in treats in a healthy way, both physically and emotionally. "Can't" no longer controlled my eating.

But "can't" is not only a four letter word in the dieting world. It can hold us back from many aspirations. As a teacher, we were taught that our classroom rules should always be positive. Instead of saying "Don't be rude to your classmates" it was recommended to use a rule like "Be kind to your classmates" instead. The notion was that by removing the negative connotation, the atmosphere would be more positive and students would be more likely to acknowledge the desired actions.

While I don't know how well that worked with high schoolers, because there will always be that one kid you just want to smack because he/she refuses to follow ANY rule no matter how it is worded,  I do agree with the idea affecting how we approach our own life. Negativity is very debilitating. Will you even begin to pursue a goal if you feel like the outcome is something you can't do? Probably not and if you do, you likely won't go very far before frustration hits. If you believe you can't do something, a self fulfilling prophecy will result. Have you ever heard of self sabotage? If you believe something can't happen, subconsciously you will find a way for it not to happen. It is a lot easier to get thrown off course if you believe the end result will be failure no matter what. Ever have thoughts like the following with similar results?

• "I can't run" so whenever I try as soon as it starts getting tough I don't push through...I stop.
• "I can't work my way up to that promotion" so instead of seeking opportunities to show the skills I believe I have, I melt into the background and get overlooked.
• "I can't make new friends" so I never feel confident enough to strike up a conversation with someone or reach out to an acquaintance.
• "I can't cook" so I stick to old stand by recipes and don't branch out to try new things. Hmmm, this one sounds familiar for myself, but I am certainly working on it. 😉

How to fix this problem? Instead of thinking of what you "can't" do. Think of what you can.

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You can always try. You can always do your best. That doesn't mean you will always succeed or reach a particular goal. But you can live in the satisfaction that you did what you could and that's what matters. You can revel in the progress and achievements you do make, instead of the things you didn't accomplish. You can replace the negative with the positive. And that could very well lead to positive changes happening in your life.

• Do you believe our thoughts can impact our achievements?
• How often do you tell yourself you can't do something? What is one thing you think you "can't" do and how can you change it?