Just as every Sunday, I have republished another topic to lead us into another week on a positive note. Please enjoy this week’s topic of self-love reflection: the troubles in idolizing our bodies.

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How much do we really value our bodies? We may say we don’t, but when taking a closer look at our actions we tend to find differently. We may even claim we “hate” our bodies, yet we still obsess over them. We spend countless hours of our lives thinking about how our butt looks, checking our hair in the mirror, running our hands over our stomach, or trying to find the best tool out there to help us look good.

Taking care of ourselves and wanting to present ourselves in a suitable manner does not act as the root of the problem. Placing more emphasis on our looks than in our character opens up many avenues for self-doubt and lack of caring for our inner selves. In life, we should not have idols. I use the word “idol” to describe something we focus on more than necessary and that inhibits us from experiencing the things in life meant to fulfill us.

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Our bodies become idols when we can’t enjoy a night out with friends because we feel too concerned with the fit of our jeans. Our bodies serve as idols when we spend time in the gym to look better instead of feel healthier. Our bodies act as idols when we can’t comfortably allow a loved one to touch us without negative thoughts playing in our minds. Our bodies turn into idols when we have difficulty focusing on our work, surroundings, conversations, etc because we wonder if we’ll ever lose that last 5 pounds or look as good as (insert celebrity persona here). Our bodies are idols whenever we allow them to become the defining factor of our lives, instead of our relationships, passions, hobbies, and values.

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We lose the chance to enjoy life when we refuse to look past our bodies. I loved this quote that sparked discussion on my favorite radio show awhile ago - “Don’t look for yourself in the mirror. Look at yourself”. Your body does not determine you. It’s simply what you look like. What matters is what’s on the inside. So when you look in the mirror, or think about your physical appearance, don’t dwell on it. Simply look at it and move on (without forgetting the gifts of the body though ). When looking for yourself and your worth…look to the more defining qualities you possess.Your intrinsic beauty, what others see in you, what you give to the world, and more. Don’t let your body play the leading part.. It’s simply the costume for the star of the show. YOU!

What ways have you put too much emphasis on your body? Ideas on changing it?

Quote to Reflect On
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. ~C.S. Lewis

Here is this week’s reposting of one of the 30 Days of Self-Love posts. This week’s topic = love from others. Enjoy!

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The whole purpose of this movement relates to self-love. Today’s topic, however, relates to the love we have from others and how it can help us more fully grasp self-love as well.

In the dark throes of depression, I felt like no one loved me and placed very little value in my life and worth. I couldn’t see the tears in my mother’s and sister’s eyes or their hearts breaking when they finally broke into the bathroom where I was trying to find the “strength” to down a bottle of pills and end my misery. I questioned Peter’s devoted actions at the beginning of our relationship and tried to deny feeling anything for him in fear of getting hurt yet again. I attempted to earn love and respect the ridiculous ways of partying and being too “friendly” with too many guys my senior year of college, despite two of my good friends warning me against those actions and telling me time and time again I didn’t need that. I certainly wasn’t always happy like in the photo below.

I didn’t believe others loved me or could even care for me in the slightest. That made me doubt and hate myself more than I already did. The most disturbing part of this situation comes from the fact that I did have people who loved me and, if I had seen that, I might not have hated myself so much. Then, avoided a lot of that pain.

I want to be clear here. I do not believe in placing your worth in what someone else thinks of you. For example, if I never stopped trying to determine my worth based on my father’s views or if my ex loved me at the moment, I would likely still sit here today lost in the black hole of my previous life. I do propose, however, that we each have someone in our lives who loves us fully and that we need to see our own selves through that person’s loving eyes.

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Don’t you even try to tell me you have no one who loves you, either. There’s somebody. Usually, many somebodies exist if we look hard enough. I’ll rebuttal your claim right now if you even try to say no one cares. I care! That is why I pour my heart, soul, time, and energy into this message and this blog. I do and you better believe others do too! Friends, family members, co-workers, fellow church members, other bloggers, that nice woman you see every day at the gym…someone cares! I will also scream from the rooftops that God cares too. Whether or not you believe in Him, oh boy does He care for you and view you as the most wonderful person out there…no matter what you’ve done or what you think of yourself. That is my belief and truth.

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See yourself through the eyes of those that love you. See the joy you bring them. Open your eyes. View yourself in a different light. We all too often act as our own worst enemy and judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else. Instead, realize you are loved, cherished, wanted, and needed. Love yourself like others love you. Remember. They do. Don’t fight it.

Reflect on who loves you and what they see in you. Do you have trouble believing it and accepting what they see whole-heartedly?

Quotes to Reflect On
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and how to let it come in. ~Morrie Schwartz