Thank you to everyone for the get-well wishes and prayers for Peter’s grandmother. As far as we know, things stand pretty much the same right now. All we can hope for is as much comfort as possible. Also, thank you for sharing your love or dating stories. I loved reading them! Check out the comments if you’re in a mood to say “awwwwww”.

Do you remember my cardio session yesterday on the machines? Well, I discovered one other plus to it. The magazine reading! I haven’t picked up a magazine in forever. I read through the October Parenting issue and came across quite a few interesting topics.

Should there be a law forbidding smoking in the home/cars of those with small children? Hmmmm….I hate the thought of young children being submitted to 2nd hand smoke, but how could we even implement that?

Do magazines still have the same prowess in media despite the rise of internet information and other forms of media? I know I haven’t picked up a magazine in months because of blogs.

Although the above provide room for two very intriguing discussions, a different article caught my eye. It was an article about parenting, but it really struck me as something that could apply to our relationships with our bodies as well. The effectiveness and importance of using explanatory language instead of accusatory/emotional language. What does that mean?

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The article discussed how, in parenting, kids do not respond well to yelling and frustrated statements from parents. Comments like “Can you not clean up your toys? Are you that helpless?” won’t reach a child best. It shared how using explanatory language can more effectively discipline and guide children to appropriate behavior. Saying, with focus and calm attention to the child, “I see toys that need to be picked up. You have 5 minutes to put your toys in their bins.” will, apparently, prompt the desired action.

I’m not starting a discussion on parenting though.  Leave it to me to take that topic and relate it to how we relate to our bodies and ourselves. How often do thoughts like this come into our minds?

• I can’t believe you! You can’t even control yourself around this food at the party. You’re eating way too much. Ugh.
• You will never lose this weight because you’re a failure. You can’t do x, y, z and you can’t get in shape either.
• You aren’t as pretty as her. You aren’t as in shape as her. You aren’t as fashionable as her. You aren’t… You aren’t… You aren’t…

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We can get caught up in using that emotional or accusatory language instead of the realistic nature of explanatory language. If we used explanatory language with ourselves, I imagine we would gain confidence. Accusations against our looks or abilities set us up for failure by putting a cloud of doubt over us. Placing negative emotions on situations can shadow solutions and the opportunity for change and growth. Accusatory and emotional language, I believe, keeps us in a perpetual battle against ourselves.

Explanatory language, on the other hand, could look like this:

• I had a stressful day at work. I feel compelled to eat a bunch of chocolate to hide those emotions. It is okay to feel that way. But will the food really help? What can I do to calm myself instead?
• I feel frustrated that my diligence in eating better and working out isn’t showing up in the smaller sizes/weight I expected. I just want to give up. But, body? You do feel better and stronger. Maybe we should keep it up.
• I have cellulite on my legs. It’s there, but maybe it isn’t as much as I thought. I also ran three miles today. That’s really awesome!

Removing the emotions and stating the facts can help us clarify what we really need. Sure, it may not always work, but it very well could motivate us to take a step in the right direction. Worth a shot I would say.

• Have you ever thought about language being emotional or explanatory? Do you think the difference could impact our self-appreciation?
• Do you still read magazines? Which types/ones?

I feel so much better today. A lot of the pain I feel really depends on how baby B situates himself inside of me and yesterday he chose the most uncomfortable place possible. Today I physically feel like a different person, so I should manage to keep the venting to a minimum, unlike last night. Thanks for that by the way.

Last night, we had our 4th week of small groups at our church. Getting together each Wednesday night helps break up the week nicely and it always feels wonderful to see friends more often. I won’t deny the other perk of not having to cook either. 😉 My friend brought us all a delicious stew to enjoy last night. Perfect for a rainy, fall night.

As much as I do love small groups, I confess to feeling a bit ready for them to end. Not because I don’t like attending, but because I feel I have overcommitted myself by volunteering to lead the group. I will of course finish out the session strongly, but then will certainly take a step back until other things in life calm down.

Overextending our time, energy, and care in any area of life takes its toll. In ordering my schedule and priorities, I always take the same steps.

1. Look at the big obligations. For me, this is my family, my job, and my faith. My job right now is to mother Makenzie so, obviously, these two tie together. During the day I work on playing with her and nurturing her knowledge in different things. That is my focus. I also strive to make time each day to spend as a family and making personal time with my husband for our relationship as well. My faith? Well, let’s just say if it doesn’t make it into my day in some way, we have a problem. I begin to feel empty or overwhelmed almost immediately.

2. Look at my needs. I go crazy if I do not have time for myself to cultivate my interests every day. This is why I make time to blog and why I dedicate myself to getting in workouts regularly. Those are my things and they deserve priority.

3. Other regular commitments. Right now these include leading our Sunday class, leading our Wednesday night small group, tutoring, and general household needs, such as having food in the house and clean clothes.

4. Make time for fun. I make an effort to include enjoyable activities in my life, but I don’t let them become a responsibility.Today, for example, we are missing playgroup because I need time for my needs and that is higher on the list. Plus, I will see them tomorrow for M’s Halloween party.

5. The extras. This covers the things I would like to accomplish, but don’t need to pressure myself with. Things like the deeper household cleaning I would like to do, but the surface job usually happens. Things like reading the list of books I have on hold at the library, but aren’t my top enjoyment right now.

That’s my method for figuring out how to fit it all in. Sometimes, I push a little too much, but I always learn the balance that works for me in the process.

• Have you ever over-committed yourself?
• What ways do you figure out your schedule? Do you thrive on a busy or more laid-back schedule?
• Don’t forget to ASK ME ANYTHING for the November Q + A series!