I remember back in the day, when I competed on an all star cheerleading team. I remember the intense practices and the tough training for all those backtucks & layouts. And I also remember our coach drilling this motto into our heads - "Can't is NOT in your vocabularly!!". Everytime he caught us using "can't" in a sentence, it was outside to the parking lot to run suicides. Or lining up to do so many backtucks and toetouches in a row your body thought it would collapse. I used to hate hearing how we should never say that word.

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But you know what? As I have grown, I have realized that it makes a lot of sense. So much energy is in our thoughts it is incredible. Our thoughts can either empower us to do something we never dreamed of...or hinder us and hold us back. It took putting myself through a lot of learning situations to finally get it and try to remove "can't" from my vocabularly.

I used to always define my eating by what I was not allowed to have. I would tell myself "you can't have sugar"..."you can't have too much fat"..."you can't have anything processed at all"..."you can't have red meat"..."you can't can't can't". And you know what happened? I immediately craved anything that was a "can't" food. And then I would give in, feel like a failure, think I was incapable of  reaching whatever goal I was trying to accomplish, give up, and finally end by going overboard and overeating. Sounds like a fun cycle, huh? [Source]

And when I removed any limits from what I was allowed to eat, I naturally began craving healthy stuff and could fit in treats in a healthy way, both physically and emotionally. "Can't" no longer controlled my eating.

But "can't" is not only a four letter word in the dieting world. It can hold us back from many aspirations. As a teacher, we were taught that our classroom rules should always be positive. Instead of saying "Don't be rude to your classmates" it was recommended to use a rule like "Be kind to your classmates" instead. The notion was that by removing the negative connotation, the atmosphere would be more positive and students would be more likely to acknowledge the desired actions.

While I don't know how well that worked with high schoolers, because there will always be that one kid you just want to smack because he/she refuses to follow ANY rule no matter how it is worded,  I do agree with the idea affecting how we approach our own life. Negativity is very debilitating. Will you even begin to pursue a goal if you feel like the outcome is something you can't do? Probably not and if you do, you likely won't go very far before frustration hits. If you believe you can't do something, a self fulfilling prophecy will result. Have you ever heard of self sabotage? If you believe something can't happen, subconsciously you will find a way for it not to happen. It is a lot easier to get thrown off course if you believe the end result will be failure no matter what. Ever have thoughts like the following with similar results?

• "I can't run" so whenever I try as soon as it starts getting tough I don't push through...I stop.
• "I can't work my way up to that promotion" so instead of seeking opportunities to show the skills I believe I have, I melt into the background and get overlooked.
• "I can't make new friends" so I never feel confident enough to strike up a conversation with someone or reach out to an acquaintance.
• "I can't cook" so I stick to old stand by recipes and don't branch out to try new things. Hmmm, this one sounds familiar for myself, but I am certainly working on it. 😉

How to fix this problem? Instead of thinking of what you "can't" do. Think of what you can.

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You can always try. You can always do your best. That doesn't mean you will always succeed or reach a particular goal. But you can live in the satisfaction that you did what you could and that's what matters. You can revel in the progress and achievements you do make, instead of the things you didn't accomplish. You can replace the negative with the positive. And that could very well lead to positive changes happening in your life.

• Do you believe our thoughts can impact our achievements?
• How often do you tell yourself you can't do something? What is one thing you think you "can't" do and how can you change it?

While today didn't start off the best (something showed up that I was hoping not to see), I quickly turned it around and decided to make it more positive. There was no point in being down about it because I trust God's timing and hate wasting energy on negativity. I've done that too much before. One thing I've thought about recently is how, after competing in early November, negative thinking was the name of my game. I went through about a month of constantly feeling down on myself because of the weight I had to put back on after the show.  Hello?! It was for my health because you are not at a healthy weight/bodyfat with competing in figure. Yet I still had problems with it. I was always down on myself, told myself I felt gross, moody, and just a true Debbie Downer. And for what? It only made things worse. And I had absolutely no reason to be so negative about myself and my body. Since then, I take pride in all that is me and my body. So I figured I would share a few things I love about me and my body 🙂 In a non-conceited way, of course 😉

1. The most important thing I appreciate about my body, is that when it is at a healthy weight it will bear beautiful children for me. It has already carried one precious gem for me and I have no doubt it will carry another. 🙂
2. It can move. I am blessed with the ability to walk, run, lift weights, participate in fitness classes, spin around with my daughter, jump on a playground with her, among many many other things that I would be otherwise unable to do without a physically capable body.
3. It is pretty strong. I enjoy lifting weights and watching my strength increase. Even though I haven't been focusing on pushing myself too much right now, I know my body is capable of tossing around pretty decent weight in the gym. It amazes me to see that progress and how my body adapts.
4. It houses my mind. I love to read (as you well know) and I love to learn and grow, particularly in things related to my faith but in general too. I think I'm a pretty sharp lady, despite my many blonde moments, and I am proud of my intellect.
5. I have a big heart. I love to love. No matter how many times I've been burned, I will still care for a person. And nothing compares to the unconditional love I can share for close friends and my beloved family.
6. I think I have nice boobs. 🙂 C'mon. I had to have a fun one in there! Haha!
7. I love that I can see the good where others would often only see the bad.
8. I love how I am so in tune with my body and what it needs and recognizing how to accommodate it.
9. I love that I am not afraid of carbs! I used to be way back when and how ridiculous was that?!

Those are just some things that came to me while writing this post. What do you love about yourself and your body?

Now for a book review! 🙂

Deep End of the Ocean by Jaquelyn Mitchard

Many of you will think this sounds familiar because of this...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWa7nDm9Wdg]

I saw the movie so long ago that it fortunately didn't affect my reading of the book. I remembered bits and pieces from the movie as I read, but not enough to where I already knew what was going to happen. That's important to me. I hate knowing the outcome of a book before I read it. But ironically enough, I despise more when movies change the books. Like this one did....

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP4NxUFgFrs]

I was SO disappointed with that movie! They absolutely ruined the book!! But back to my current book review...

The Deep End of the Ocean is about a family with a three year old boy who goes missing from a crowded hotel lobby. He is never found, dead or alive....until almost ten years later when he unexpectedly and accidentally reenters their lives. It was really enjoyable. Maybe being a mother I could really relate to the main character, Beth, and all her neuroticness after her son's disappearance. The story was really strong and just gripping. The decision of what is right versus what is wrong when her son returns is so disheartening. It kind of reminded me of Jodi Picoult's books where an issue that you would think has answers that are black and white and clear as day really don't. It's interesting to ponder the many intricacies that go into what is right for a family and how decisions have strong repercussions for everyone involved. And how it is sometimes impossible to fix or stop or change. I would recommend it. 🙂

Once again, time for me to get going to tutoring! Fun fun fun. At least it's easy money. And I already had my fun today with a Group Kick class followed by coloring Dora with the M girl. 🙂