I don’t like feeling juxtaposed between not eating as well as I would like but having no motivation to change right now. I don’t like feeling caught between knowing my body produces a miracle and worrying about getting in shape after baby B arrives. I know I explained before that I feel unlike myself at times and this is one of those times.

It all started when I began craving sweets and giving in to  those cravings regularly. Then, I began to question my eating habits and if I was pulling the “I’m pregnant, so I don’t care” card. I certainly do care because I want to provide my body what it needs. Then, I became frustrated as I realized I didn’t want to feel restricted, even if it meant eating more of the “bad” foods than I typically like. This lack of motivation had me bemoaning my choices and questioning whether I would gain too much weight and then not be able to get back in shape over the next year. It left me analyzing and critiquing my body, instead of embracing it even in its bigger state.

I’m only human and these mental games get to me too. For awhile I didn’t even try to stop them, even though I fully recognized them. Perhaps they felt comforting in an old, familiar way? Perhaps I knew that when it boiled down to it I feared my decision. Would I “put up or shut up” so to speak? Typically I am a “put up” girl – make the changes you know will leave you feeling better physically and then mentally. In the last 6-8 weeks of pregnancy though? I’m going to “shut up”. I know the changes I would like to make would feel very forced right now and done more out of guilt or what I should do over what I want to do.

I will still focus on consuming healthy meals the majority of the time and not criticize myself for treats above the norm. I will remember its completely okay to not want to worry the last bit of my (hopefully) last pregnancy. I will “shut up” those negative thoughts about my body because I know it is temporary and I have faith in myself to accomplish everything I hope fitness wise post-baby. I may not be making a ton of changes yet, but I don’t want to make the end of this pregnancy any harder on myself by adding in mental games.

I had to get a grip on myself before my baby shower after all. My good friends from church wanted to throw us a shower in combo with a Thanksgiving lunch to help us start stocking up on baby boy clothes and other baby necessities. Here’s a few shots from the party. I’ll let them speak for themselves of the good time I had – no mental games included. 😉

• What was the best part of your weekend? I love my friends and all the support that they continue to show!
• When have you had to “put up or shut up” in something?
• Today is the last day to enter the Exercise TV giveaway!

You know what I realized? I don’t have to pick one or two posts per day. Sometimes I have more to say and writing two posts comes easier to me, and actually takes less time, than trying to organize it all in one post. Other times I don’t have an extra topic to write about and I shouldn’t force myself to find something to fit a two post/day schedule. In other words, I’m throwing out posting schedules and just going with the blogging flow.

You know what I realized? A lot of stuff can fit inside shoe boxes.

We had our last small group session for this round on Wednesday night. Instead of the regular discussion of the sermon, we decided to use our time towards a service project. We all contributed items such as t-shirts, socks, toothbrushes, toothpaste, toys, hard candies, etc to pack into shoe boxes for children in need across the world. Hopefully these gifts will brighten their holiday season! It brightened my night to consider how we may help a few young children.

You know what I realized? Makenzie has a fear of tee-pees.

We went to a nature preserve trail with our friends from the mom’s group yesterday morning. My little M was a bit uncertain about that tee-pee and did not want to go inside with the rest of us. She didn’t mind other parts of the excursion though – like playing with the stone monkeys and seeing her beloved again.

You know what I realized? I'm ready for baby B to come but not ready enough to feel pains like last night that felt like real contractions. They thankfully went away after an hour and I'm not 100% certain they were more than Braxton Hicks, but they hurt BAD and in the "right place". No no no no no.

You know what I realized? Organizing takes a LOT longer than expected.

I’ve spent a few hours already going through this mass of baby stuff. I think I made a dent of maybe 10%. I have a long month ahead of me. I am determined to finish it all before Christmas.

You know what I realized? I have a giveaway coming up for you all later today! Stay tuned. 😀

• What is something you recently realized?
• What is a service project you have enjoyed participating in before?