So, I know just yesterday I posted about finally believing that I am a runner. Even still, I sometimes have runs where the fact that my body can carry me through miles and continues to adapt and grow stronger seems surreal. I felt that way during my run yesterday afternoon. It was hot. My legs felt a little heavy. Did I say it was hot?

My plan called for a three miler. I usually take this run at no set pace and just run in a way that feels good and care-free. Well, I felt on fire yesterday…and not only from the heat. The times I would quickly check my pace, it always fell in the eights and I thought “that can’t be right”, “this can’t be happening considering everything going into this run”. But I finished up three miles in an average 8:48 pace and it felt strangely…easy. Despite the hills. Despite the heat. Despite the last day in my training week since Fridays are my rest days. I ended feeling pretty dang good.

I also ended up making my super cute 4all by jofit top not quite as cute by rocking it with running shorts and a Bondi Band. Leave it to me. I would say “this can’t be happening” but we all know that would be a lie. What’s not a lie? I love this top! The Pretty Tennis Tank is yet another great piece from the team. I couldn’t get over how supportive and comfortable the top was…which I shouldn’t expect any less since every piece I have received fits that description. Plus I gotta say I think the cut is quite flattering and I love the different, classy coloring. Two thumbs up!

And now for the kicker. The true #thiscan’tbehappening moment. I took Makenzie to meet her preschool teachers today. She starts preschool on Monday.

This. Can’t. Be. Happening!

I thought I was sooooo ready. A couple extra hours during the week when she is in school and Braedon has his morning nap? A change for her that she has desperately wanted for months? (kid has talked about school since March) A break from the toddler mood swings which can only help me appreciate her even more? Yes, yes, yes! Or so I thought when her leaving me for 3 hours a day, 3 days a week loomed weeks into the future. Now, just a few short days away and I kind of want to cry. Okay, I will cry. I know it. You know it. No point in hiding it.

I have made sure to cherish every little moment with her this week. Not a single complaint about reading the insane number of books the kid will listen to repeatedly…

I took her to get her very first haircut.

She badly needed one. Plus, it was like negative $20. Yes. Negative. She got a $25 gift from being referred by me to my hairdresser. Kids cut = way less than that. My “referral” still earned me $25 on my next appointment too. Hey – they told me to do it! All I had to pay was a $5 tip. Score. Well, I also had that $4 in ATM fees because I didn’t realize you can’t tip on your card there and had no cash on me at the time. Lame.

But, back to my little M. It isn’t sinking in that she is growing up little by little. I still think of her as a baby bobbling around and barely able to communicate. But, no. She is full fledged little human who will carry on conversations with me, make jokes, and be the most excellent mommy I have ever seen to her beloved “Teddy”.

I’m going to miss my goober.

Even if she won’t make a crazy face with me.

• Last time you thought “this can’t be happening”?
• What is a ridiculous fee you hate? I think TicketMaster charges some pretty outrageous fees too. Oh! And the parking fees at many hospitals in our area. “Hi. We’re sorry you’re mother is sick, but pay us $10 to see her”. Ick.

**Gotta do that disclaimer thang: I was sent the 4all top free for review as part of their ambassador program. I received no other compensation and all opinions are my own.

Here we go again! Another running thoughts inspired post…triggered by a song. The last time that happened I ended up with visions of my body and mind singing a duet to the tunes of Adam Lambert’s “Whattaya Want From Me”. Luckily this one isn’t quite as heavy on the crazy.

Have you heard the Switchfoot song “This Is Your Life”? While listening during my tempo run yesterday, something about these little lines got the wheels turning in my head.

this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

It struck me. This is my life and I only have one shot at it. Am I who I want to be? And you know the amazing thing? My immediate reaction did not turn to negative thoughts in the slightest. I perked up and knee-jerkingly thought “Yea. I am who I want to be!”

I am a woman of faith, which has turned me into the best version of myself I have ever known and continues to help me grow.

I am a wife, which wraps me in love. And makes me a romantic cheeseball. 

I am a mother, which is only one of the most rewarding experiences out there.

I am passionate and no longer fear believing in myself to go after those things that make my heart sing and light a fire underneath me.

I am all those things and more – everything I shared in my original Strengths Out Loud post, for example. Then before my mind had the chance to whir off in another direction with the twisting of the road, another description of myself struck.

I am a runner.

So that definition of self may not carry near the same weight as the others, but on my run today was the first time it really sunk in that I am a runner. Not just someone who likes to run on occasion. I AM a runner.

I look forward to my runs 99.9% of the time because they give me such vitality. Not a single run ends where I don’t feel more alive inside and a better person on some level. I don’t know why, but it does feel that way. I commit myself to lacing up the sneakers and hitting the road or running path regularly. Running feels like an old friend I can’t wait to spend some time with, even if it means early wake up calls. I have trained for two races, have signed up for a half marathon, and plan to add two more races to the fall. I could talk about running incessantly. I would sign up to go to the Urban Runner Blogging Summit in a heartbeat if a certain thing called money didn’t exist. I want to run into my indefinite future and never stop! I am a runner.

I may not quite know what a “fartlek” is and have only recently learned the word “bonk” (doesn’t running have the BEST words? haha!), but I am still a runner. I am a runner because I choose to run. I never thought any special feat or qualification – sub 10:00 miles, running a half marathon, running for a year, etc - would have to make someone else a runner. Why did it take so long for me to figure it out for myself? I don’t know. But at least I do know now that I am a runner. And it’s pretty awesome.

• Is there something that took you awhile to grasp “Hey! I am a ____”? It took me a bit to grasp being a mother. It still seems surreal some days.
• What is one of the funniest words to you? I get a kick out of silly sounding words apparently, so share yours!