Hey there Faith Fitness and Fun readers! I'm Lindsay and I blog over at Living Lindsay. I'm so honored that Tina has given me the opportunity to invade her corner of the blog world and share my story. Thank you so much Tina!

When you spend most of your life overweight, it becomes second nature to lose faith in yourself. Self- confidence flies out the window and you always view the cup as half-empty.

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I spent the majority of my life as an obese girl. Thankfully, I had a close group of friends and was well- liked by everyone, but that didn’t change the fact that I never had a boyfriend, was never asked to a school dance, and always dreaded being in front of the classroom for fear of being teased.

 

Me just before my senior year of high school

The majority of my negative memories and feelings involve gym class and the physical fitness tests that we had to complete each quarter. Part of the test included a one-mile run. I would always try to find an excuse to postpone it so that I could make it up and run it alone as opposed to running it with the whole class. Unfortunately, the teachers were REALLY good at keeping it a secret and we never knew about it until class time. I always finished last, but at least I finished. I never won the award for the most athletic or the fastest, but I always won the award for the most enthusiastic. I embraced that award and still do because I know that quality is what has made me who I am today.

In January 2010, I decided to change my life and lost 112 pounds. No fad diets were involved. In fact, no diet at all was involved. I simply ate healthy and exercised. I follow a 90/10 rule: eat healthy 90% of the time, and allow yourself some flexibility the rest of the time. This has truly been my key to success because I never feel deprived, restricted, or punished.

Exercise is no longer a fear of mine, as it used to be. Instead, it’s something I love doing and I embrace the challenge each and every day.

So in June, I decided it was time to face my fears and signed up for my first 5K. I didn’t train for it. I just decided two days prior to the race that it was time to prove that I could do it. Anyone who has lost weight can attest to the fact that seeing yourself as a “new” person is really difficult. Part of me still believed that I wasn’t strong enough or fit enough to do it. But I spent my entire life believing that I couldn’t do things and let my weight stand in the way of so many experiences and opportunities. I’m not the same girl and it was time to prove it to myself.

 
On the day of the race, I felt extremely nervous and almost backed out. What if I wouldn’t be able to finish? What if I finished last? I then reminded myself that it really didn’t matter. Do the best you can and you really can’t feel badly about anything. When the whistle blew and the race began, I felt invincible. I knew I wouldn’t finish first, but I was determined to run the whole race. When I passed the 2 mile mark, I felt so unbelievably proud. And when I saw the “Finish” line, I never felt more proud of myself.

 

Mission accomplished!

I suddenly realized that I blew the gym class fitness test out of the water that morning and it felt amazing! There was nothing to fear anymore.

Losing weight helped me gain control of my life. I now have the confidence and self-esteem to try new things and challenge myself. That little voice is still in the back of my head at times, trying to convince me that I can’t do something. But I’m strong enough to ignore it and instead choose to believe that I can.

I’ve learned to love myself. And you know what? I’ve learned to love who I used to be, too. Yes, I wish some things in my life could have been different, but I am who I am now because of who I used to be. You can spend time wishing your life had been different, or wishing you looked a different way. Or, you can focus on something about yourself that is absolutely incredible, and use it to propel your life forward in a positive direction. Give yourself an award and embrace it. I'm sticking with "most enthusiastic".

It certainly has taken me far. 

• What award would you give yourself?

Hi, everyone! My name is Kelly and I blog over at Laughter, Strength, and Food. In my blog, I try to focus on fitness, food, shopping, family, friends, etc., you know…the good stuff! I absolutely loved Tina’s “Self-Love” series and am honored to do a guest post for her about when I needed the most strength and how I found that strength. Thanks, Tina!

My story is a heavy one, and it is one that I have wanted to share on my blog for a long time, but haven’t yet. I am not sure why. I guess I just wasn’t ready before, but as soon as I knew I was going to be writing a post about strength, I knew it was time to share my story.

My story starts in late 2006 when I met a wonderful guy. He was just like me and we got along wonderfully. We had tons of mutual friends and it was actually amazing that we had not met previously because of our similar circle of friends. We just chalked it up to fate that we met when we did. We figured it was just ‘our time.’ While I will spare you tons of the details, I’ll just give you the rundown that we moved in together shortly after we met, got engaged a year later, and got married eight months after that.

While we were planning our wedding, we found out that he was being deployed to Iraq. Thankfully, we made it through our year apart and he and his entire unit came home safely. It was more than we could have asked for. However, soon after he came home, things started to fall apart.

We were fighting more than ever but we just tried to work through it, knowing that a deployment can do strange things to a relationship. I tried moving home with my parents. We tried ‘starting over’ and going back to the time when we first met. We tried counseling. I really can’t explain it, nor do I have enough space in this post to run down every detail of why we felt a disconnect between us and why our relationship finally seemed to be past the point of repair. All I know is that one day, we made that decision. We decided that we disagreed on many levels that were deeper than the superficial arguments we were having. We decided that it was time to end it. We decided to get a divorce.

Was I happy? Of course not. Was I questioning our decision every step of the way? Absolutely. Does my mind still wander and think about what could have been even though we have both moved on and are happier than ever? Definitely.

That part of my life brings me to my moment of strength. For those few months after our separation, I was fine. We had both met new people that were much better for us than we were for each other. I tried not to dwell on it. Then, I’m not sure what happened at the end of last year. Looking back, I now think that I never went through a 'grieving’ process for the end of my relationship. Everything happened so quickly and we both told ourselves that we were okay and the decision was right. I truly believe the decision was right, but I don’t think I ever allowed myself to deal with it and work through my emotions.

I have a saying that I’m famous for. “I don’t want to talk about it.” To me, it’s easier just to push things away than to deal with them. True to myself, that’s what I did. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out well for me. I was disappointed in myself that I didn’t try harder. I was embarrassed that I was in my twenties and already divorced. I found it impossible to forgive myself. I felt all of these things but just swept them under the rug, hoping those thoughts would go away.

I cried every morning and night during my commute to and from work. I started lashing out at Lee (my current and most wonderful bf) because I was sad and tired all the time. I had crazy thoughts that I wanted to end everything because I was so exhausted from being sad. I was a pretty miserable person to be around.

One night, my parents and Lee had a very serious "intervention" talk with me during which I yelled, screamed, and cried. A lot. You know what? The next day, I felt like it was a new beginning for me. I actually wasn’t sad. I didn’t cry. I wasn’t thinking that my life wasn’t worth anything. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was then that I decided that I was starting anew and it really was time to move on (even though I had fooled myself into thinking I had months before).

I stopped checking Facebook. I stopped looking at old pictures. I stopped wondering ‘what could have been.’ I put my energy into my job, into teaching Jazzercise, into my relationship with Lee, and I started my blog. I surrounded myself with people that brought positive energy into my life. All of those changes made all the difference in the world. I finally allowed myself to forgive myself and use my experience as a stepping stone to a better life.

I have never needed strength like I did during that time of my life. I have a quote posted on my blog that reads, “You never know how strong you are…until being strong is the only choice you have.” I have never believed in a quote more than I believe in that one. There are always going to be times when the days seem dark and it feels like there is no hope. These are the times that it is so important for us to realize how strong we really are and how much strength we really have deep down inside of us.

• When have you felt your strongest?