Party People

Posted: May 16, 2010 at 7:02 pm

Last night we went to an “Around the House” shower for my friend. She is getting married at the end of September and I’m very happy for her. It’s funny because we always expected her to be the first of us to get married. She was always the girl that wanted to be married so badly and I was the girl claiming I would never ever ever do so. Interesting how life works out, huh? And I gotta say I’m happy my plans don’t always go as expected since it tends to lead toward greater things. I adore my life now!

Upon arriving to the shower, I got a quick moment to say hello to my friend.


There was some strained feeling conversation. I admit that part of it could be mental on my part because I wanted to share my good news with her but didn’t want to do so on her special night. But I also was a little disappointed because she knew I would have tested by then and that I had called her a couple times during the week, yet she didn’t even ask. I basically got a brief hello and all the details of getting her makeup done before she flitted off to talk to other guests. I also felt like she was avoiding me the rest of the night because every time I went up to her she walked off immediately.

I’m not too upset about that because I know part of the responsibility as guest of honor is to visit everyone. And there were a lot of people at the shower…many of which I did not know. I know my friend’s family well, but it was so crowded I didn’t even get to be around them much. Normally I would mingle and make new friends, but we had Makenzie with us and had to keep an eye on her the entire time. We are used to attending kid friendly functions and there was nothing on the invite to let us know this would not be a kid friendly place. Makenzie tried to entertain everyone and was still welcomed though.


And there were some yummy snacks to keep me happy. Guacamole, raw veggies, and pita chips (unpictured) are a girl’s best friend when the remainder of the food is very subpar.

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We left after only a couple of hours. I was getting tired, Makenzie was starting to act up, we were bored with all the cliques, and I still felt a little hurt by my friend’s cold shoulder. I might be over reacting, but I’m a little surprised she didn’t think to ask when I told her a week ago I would be calling to let her know the results. Also surprising since she has no problem pointing out how hard it must be for me to be heavier (while being sure to sneak in her weight) and wondering how pregnant I will be for her wedding….because after all “she picked the bridesmaids dresses specifically because I was supposed to be pregnant” (something she said not even 2 weeks ago). And it might also be in light of the many questions, supportive comments, and emails from others that I received over the course of the week. Wouldn’t my supposed best friend be more on top of the game?

Okay I’m finished. I don’t like being negative so let’s talk about today. Today was another day of festivity. It has just been a party kind of weekend. This party was more up our alley though. It was our friends’ daughter’s 2nd Birthday. Elmo, a bunch of tots, balloons, and friends from church can make a great party. Trust me.

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The atmosphere was much more laid back, we were surrounded by quite a few friends and even the people we didn’t know well were so nice to talk to. The excitement and laughter from the kids just overflows to put smiles on every face in the room and makes for an all around fun afternoon. It's nice to feel like you are a valued friend and that your company is appreciated, but I digress. I think that is almost as negative as you’ve ever heard me get on my blog. I don’t like it. I will say though it helps to vent frustrations. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and just recognize some of those actions are just part of who she is and I have to accept that. I also need to consider her perspective of maybe she sensed I had news to share, but didn't want it on her party night, which I understand. So I feel better and am actively going to move on now.

  • Are there things you face with any of your friends that can drive you crazy? How do you deal with it? I try to focus on the positive aspects of the friendship, trust there are reasons behind the person’s actions, and just move on. Sometimes it’s hard when you’re hormonal more strongly emotionally invested in what is going on, but I believe you have to trust someone who has been a friend for so long.
  • What is something you never foresaw yourself doing, but couldn’t imagine your life without that part of you now? Marriage! And then having a kid not even 2 years into it. The saying “when you know, you know” definitely applies to both of those. I just knew it was right, trusted it, and won’t ever look back.

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17 Comments to “Party People”
  1. Uhh, sorry to hear that your friend did that to you. That is not a good feeling- being blown off- especially when YOU went out of your way to attend her gathering. And for her to not even ask how you were is just selfish on part!!
    One thing that really bothers me about my best friend is that she will call me around like 11pm at night, when I have LONG since gone to bed, and then be upset that I didn’t answer. I have told her many times that I am usually in bed by 9pm…and I don’t even have my phone on after 7pm typically & if I try to call her at a ‘normal’ hour such as 5pm, she never answers. Just frustrating a little. I mean, I still love her to death, but it’s just a bit annoying.
    I’m glad to see that the little kid’s party went well- looks so cute 🙂
    Hope you have a great rest of the Sunday

  2. I’m so sorry to hear that. I have a friend who has acted that way towards me. Jealousy maybe? I hate to automatically throw that out of course. You just never really know what’s going on with others though. I do think it was kind of rude about the dress situation. If I were getting married, and you were my friend in the wedding, I would try so hard to be accommodating to make sure you felt comfortable in the dress too. Hugs to you. I have finally distanced myself from “friends” who have treated me that way over the years.

  3. Wow, your friend’s behavior sounds rude and inappropriate for no reason at all! Has there always been a sort of subtle competition between the two of you? Because some of her comments have “jealousy” written all over them. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this!

  4. inmytummy says:

    Im sorry about your friend and how she’s acting.

    One thing that I never saw myself doing is living in Atlanta. When I was in college, I always thought I’d be living in New York or Boston.

  5. katiivey says:

    One thing I never saw myself doing? Owning a dog. And LOVING him!! He turns 1 tomorrow and you know I have a picture gallery b-day post lined up :>

    I’m sorry about your friend 🙁 I’m sure that was awkward to say the least. I hope the upcoming wedding is not that brutal…I do have a friend that I felt close to in college. She is still single, I’m married, and now expecting, and I just feel that I am always the one to call her or initiate things. I know she has a rough family life and has gone through different things with that but it has hurt my feelings that she hasn’t been excited about my pregnancy because she has known how bad I have wanted this. I guess that’s just life though.

  6. hayleycepeda says:

    I’m so sorry you had to experience that…I don’t know your friend so I can’t say why she was acting that way, but what a disappointment. Perhaps she was so caught up in her own wedding and being the host that the excitement of everything caused her to forget to ask you about your test results, or maybe she was worried the results might have been negative and didn’t want you to feel bad if that were the case? Still – her comments about your weight gain throughout pregnancy were just plain rude…and I really am sorry she acted that way. I tend to agree with the others…a lot of this sounds like jealousy. You have a wonderful marriage and a beautiful family – who wouldn’t be envious! 🙂

  7. I always thought I’d be at LEAST engaged by the time I was 22, the age I am now. I thought I was going to marry my high school boyfriend. Lo and behold, the good Lord had very different plans for me. And I’m OK with that. I know he has much better things in store for me and I trust him with that. I recently met someone who is amazing and it’s really early but this feeling is what I’ve been looking for all this time, I didn’t even feel this way for the boyfriend that I thought I was going to marry. And if this guy isn’t the one, I know now how amazing this feels and how silly it would be to settle for anything less.
    I’m so sorry about your friend!!! That’s awful 🙁 And please feel free to vent, it’s your blog!!! My best friend is kind of similar to your friend. I love her to death, she’s like a sister, but there are so many things that I don’t like. I have changed a LOT over the years (we’ve been friends since we were 5) and so we think very differently about a lot of things. There are so many things I can’t tell her because she’s very judgmental. She’s my best friend and it really sucks that I can’t talk to her about everything, you know?
    Sorry for this novel of a post haha love you girl!

  8. Hallie says:

    Ugh I had this whole comment and it got deleted. So now I’ll be more brief. Friend issues are really tough, I try to remember that I’m not perfect so I can’t expect my friends to be either. But, weddings do seem to bring out the princess in people. I hope I’m not like that when it’s my turn 🙂

    And I never thought I’d have a dog but I could not imagine my life without my Nina!!

  9. Vicky says:

    Ugh, your friend’s behaviour sounds strange. It would leave me wondering too… Maybe she was a bit overwhelmed with the whole situation. It can be hard having lots of people over and trying to divide your attention.

    I actually never thought i’d have kids and now i’m going to have four!! I have a liver problem that started when i was 19, had surgery and was told i shouldn’t have kids. At 28 I was accidentally pregnant (IUD), we decided somebody was trying to tell us something and took the chance. The rest is history. If I look at my kids now, i couldn’t imagine not having the joy of them in my life.
    Happy Monday!!

    Vicky aka MommieQ 😉

  10. Lindsay says:

    I’m so sorry your friend treated you that way. Maybe she is going through something she hasn’t told you yet and it’s causing her to withdraw and be hurtful. 🙁 That’s terrible though. I have a few friends that urk me a little, but I remind myself why I love them and that makes me feel better. I have to admit I’ve had to let a few go because of the negativity they surrounded themselves with. It was sad, but it was the best option for me.

    The photo with you and Mackenzie is adorable!!!

  11. Mandy says:

    I’m so sorry your friend treated you that way. I don’t care how crowded the event was, you should at least be nice to ALL Of your guests and treat them with respect. Grrr!!!

    I never in a million years would have thought I’d have a baby and have a full time photography business at this time in my life…so that is definitely my answer to that question 🙂

  12. Shannon says:

    I’m sorry your friend was so wrapped up in herself. I know how excited you are and can understand wanting to share it with everyone. Like others have said, maybe she’s jealous, as you already have the marriage and (beautiful!) child. Who knows. But regardless, it isn’t anything you need to apologize for. She should have been more sensitive about what an big week this was for you.

  13. Ugggh — interactions like that with friends are the worst! It’s different when it’s someone you don’t really know, or aren’t that close with. If someone snubs me and I’m not even close with them, than whatever! I’m over it in a minute. But when it’s a FRIEND… no way around it. That hurts.

    So sorry you had to deal with that! But HOW ADORABLE are all the dresses on those little 2 year old girls? I am so excited to be a mom some day!!

  14. Gosh, I am so sorry you are going through this with your friend. 🙁 I am with some of the other commenters, though – it sounds a lot like she is jealous. I know some of the brides of the weddings I’ve been in have wanted ALL of the attention on them, all of the time. Maybe she feels like some of the attention will be taken away from her since you are pregnant? But if she is truly your best friend, she should be rejoicing in happiness for you – and definitely be checking in to see how your test went! Hopefully this is just a “Bridezilla” phase that will pass after her wedding is over. I will actually be happy for you once it is! 🙂

  15. I’m glad the birthday party was such a hit… and sorry to hear that your feelings were hurt at your friend’s party. You mentioned that you told your friend you would call her with the results of your pregnancy test. Perhaps she thought that the absence of a phone call meant the test wasn’t positive. She may have been uncomfortable to be around you, especially if she thought her friend’s pregnancy hopes weren’t met. Her rude “how big will you be?” comment could have been her way of saying, “don’t worry, you might not be pregnant now, but I’m sure you will be by my wedding.” Just trying to find the good!

  16. I’m sorry to read about your friend. 🙁 I’m not sure how is bet to handle this situation. I have pretty much cut ties with most of these types of people from my past. I’m not sure if its better to be friendless or just learn to put up with crap!

  17. […] entire weekend verified to me the thoughts I was having last weekend about friendships. As we get older and move into new phases in our lives it is normal for the […]

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