lost

Posted: September 14, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Happy afternoon! I have some things I need to take a few moments to discuss this afternoon. I hope you receive them well because each of you mean so much to me. Faith, Fitness, Fun would not be where it is today without you and would have no chance of developing as I hope it to in the future without your support either.

I feel the 30 Days of Self-Love working in ways I never anticipated. My feelings in relation to the initiative greatly surprised me. I shared some confessions last week about the 30 Days in my “I Have Weak Moments” post. I thought that emotionally draining post would last me through the last 20 or so days. Apparently, I thought wrong.

Recently I have faced some disturbing feelings. I felt lost in a sense. I felt as though the 30 Days has begun to eclipse my blog voice which I worked so hard to find. Sometimes my blog doesn’t feel like me. And the only reason I can come up with for it is the 30 Days.

I took a long, hard look at why. I still feel just as strongly, if not more so, that positive reflections can make a profound impact in how we view ourselves and how we live out our lives. I still believe in sharing uplifting messages on topics that need attention. I still hope to provide support to others and for Faith, Fitness, Fun to be a common ground people can come to in search of a fun and uplifting environment.

That’s when it hit me. I felt lost because I felt I had lost some of the fun. Check out my blog name! Fun is a pretty integral part of who I am and my values. After typing today’s post I discovered even more. Today’s post was more my style. It wasn’t quite as serious, but still shared a strong message. I hit publish with a smile on my face and a light heart. Prior posts started to become more about a task to do and feeling the pressure to do it well.  I wasn’t using my true blog voice.

I will not end this 30 Days movement. Like I said above, I still have a fire burning inside me for it to reach people. I still care about the message and each of you participating in that message. This all simply means I will work to regain a sense of myself and my blog though during the last half of September. My posts will cover the same topics I planned to, but may be written in a slightly different style. I also want to regain a sense of sharing who I am on the blog. For that reason, my posting schedule will likely change.

It’s very hard for me to find the appropriate words to portray what I currently think and feel. I do NOT want to take away from the 30 Days and the impact it is making for some. It has already taught me so many things simply by leading it and I appreciate every second I put into it. I do NOT want to seem all “me, me, me” because that is not the reason I hope to share more of my thoughts and experiences again. I simply want to get back to what I worked so hard for Faith, Fitness, Fun to become in recent months. I no longer want to be lost within myself and the guidelines, pressures, etc I was placing on myself the past couple of weeks. Please understand and I hope you will stick around for the changes. Will you join me?

  • Have you ever feared making change because of what other people may think? Do you still go for it?
  • What’s the hardest part of blogging in your opinion? I think finding what works for you personally, but will also help keep your blog working as you hope is really difficult. I want my blog to motivate others in all areas – healthy living through balance, fitness (which you’ll hopefully get more from after this baby ;)), making the most out of life, what faith can do in a life, overcoming past trials, etc. I want to accomplish those things and it takes a lot of time and soul-searching to determine how my writing and blogging style works for that purpose.

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43 Comments to “lost”
  1. erica says:

    Great post! Love the sayings you found. Those are so true. At one point in time, I did find myself changing they way I was and how I acted etc. to try and be someone I wasn’t. Especially in high school. I guess that’s a period of trying to make new friends and “fit In”. However, once college came, I was able to be myself and thats when I started recognizing who my true friends where versus those that I was trying to get because they don’t matter anyway.
    I love who I have shaped up to be and have great friends because I allowed myself to me and no one else :))

  2. I look forward to hearing more of your blog voice reflected in your posts. I think you (in the broad sense of all “you”s out there) are able to touch more lives by being yourself and telling funny stories and being wonderful you, than by being serious or preachy & not being the true you.

    NOT that you’ve been preachy (please don’t get me wrong!), I’ve just seen some bloggers become more committed to an initiative than to their own voices and style… I think your words have been beautiful, but I do agree, they’ve at times been missing the wonderful personality that makes you SHINE! 🙂

    • Tina says:

      Thanks for getting it. I totally feel what you’re saying and didn’t take any of it the wrong way. That’s exactly what I was hoping to get across. I hoped to express that I’m still just as committed to the 30 Days but can’t lose myself in the process.

  3. I think any time I add guidelines or boundaries to myself or put barriers around something, things start going wrong. Those boundaries and guidelines REALLY hold me back and keep me caged in, so I know how you are feeling.

    I think just having a topic and writing what you want to write about, verus writing how you feel the “tone” of 30 days should be will work great for you.

    The hardest thing about blogging–oh wow. Everything about blogging is hard sometimes. thats what makes it so great.

  4. Wonderful post. I find blogging to be really unique, because bloggers put themselves into of their blog and then try to market it (by getting readers). Don’t get me wrong, I love the successful blogs, but as a reader, I tend to sense when a blog is no longer about the blogger. It makes me happy to see that you are concerned about the relationship between you and your blog. A blog shouldn’t suck the life out of you; it should put life into you!

    Be you, that’s all us readers ask 🙂

    • Tina says:

      That’s what I’ve always strived to do is be myself. I don’t want to put on a face to get readers or do certain types of posts because its what the “big bloggers” do. I want to be me and let it take this baby wherever that may be.

  5. Camille says:

    I think that is a fabulous idea!
    You seem like such a nice, fun person and I can’t wait to see what changes you make!

  6. Kat says:

    I am a huge people pleaser, so I am always trying to do what is going to make others happy or proud. I very rarely pay attention to my own feelings and well being. Since getting married, I have gone through so many levels of growth because now I live with someone who is always trying to please ME and make ME happy! haha what a twist.

    The hard part about blogging for me is that it is such a small piece of who I am. I dont want people to think that the blog is all I am, because I am so much more!! There are so many things I dont share because they are just so dear to my heart, and I dont want anyone to have a different view of me for it

  7. Your honesty is refreshing (not sure how many times I’ve told you that, but it’s true!). I think it’s great that you can realize when you lose your voice within your writing and do things to change that. So often, we get caught up in posting at the same times, on the same schedule, and trying to make it interesting for our readers…but is that really us? Well, it’s not me. If we all wrote when we felt like it and about things that we truly DO want to write about, I think our voice will shine through.

    I’m glad that 30 Days is still around! I have carried some of the relfections with me for days now and truly appreciate that you helped me think of them.

    • Tina says:

      Yes I will not give up the 30 days because I still do feel very strongly about it and believe in it. I love that initiative but I can’t put so much emphasis on it that the rest of me gets lost. I love that you all understand that. 🙂

      And having a posting schedule is easier for me with M. Actually doing more frequent and shorter posts works better for me too since the chances I get to write come in bursts. I will be posting more frequently and at first thought about not doing so because a) I didn’t want to seem like I was copying the popular blogs and b) I don’t want to overwhelm readers. But i know I have to do what works for ME.

  8. Honesty is truly beautiful Tina! And that to me, is the most amazing thing about the blogging community. We are all encouraged to be honest, to be real and maybe every so often (as with this post) remind ourselves and the rest of the world that- well, we are human! We struggle, we get lost, we lose our voice, we worry about what we are doing.

    I could not be more supportive of you taking this time for you to find your voice and “recreate” that reflection in your posts. Since I have returned from my honeymoon I have been going through a great deal of searching. Trying to find my voice for my blog, for my business and for my new life as a wellness & fitness coach. So often we get heavily influenced by the desire to reach others and change lives. What we cannot do is lose ourselves, lose our voice in the process.

    Have a wonderful evening!

  9. I’m with you. I didn’t notice a huge change in your tone or voice, but I haven’t been reading your blog for all that long … I continue to say, do what works for you. We’re all just along for the ride!

    (And I’m very glad you’re not going to discontinue the 30 Days … I’m learning a lot about myself through the reflection.)

  10. Shannon says:

    I think you can definitely share your reflections while still incorporating the fun, lightheartedness that makes you who you are. We all read because we love the blog voice you have found. I’m glad you won’t be losing that 🙂 What I love most about your blog is just hearing about your approach to family and motherhood. You set a wonderful example.

  11. I’ve noticed if I’m writing about something that feels forced it just doesn’t feel right. Going with your gut is the way to go!

    • Tina says:

      That’s exactly what the problem was. Things were starting to feel off and I knew I needed to do some thinking about it. Now I can move forward happily. 🙂

  12. This is a fantastic post! Its so important to stay true to our blog voice. For me… the hardest part of blogging is knowing if readers like what I’m saying or not. It takes a while to find our blog voice. Even though I still worry about it… I’ve found that as long I stay true to my blog voice, I feel good about my posts.

    • Tina says:

      Agreed! And as much as people may say they don’t care about the readers and only want to be true to themselves, the truth is we do care. It’s part of why a lot of us share. We want to connect with others. We enjoy the community and inspiration we can bring to others as well as receive. I want my blog to promote that community and be a place for conversation. I love connecting with readers and other bloggers and want to cultivate a place people enjoy visiting. I won’t change who I am to reach that, but I would be lying if I covered up desiring the motivation of people enjoying my blog.

  13. Ela says:

    Oh, Tina,

    Good for you! I’m so glad that you connected with the ‘lost’ feeling, explored it, and found your way to reconnecting with the fun! That is just so sane!

    Whenever we take on something new, especially something that touches a lot of people, it transforms things, and sometimes not entirely in the direction we want it to. So way to regain your voice!

    Just going to work on my self-love blog post now.
    love
    Ela

  14. ashleigh says:

    I love, love, love the 30 days post! I may not respond to them all but every single one of them has been very touching. I love the way you write and I love how incredibly relatable you are. However I do notice a bit of difference in those posts than your regular posts. There’s nothing wrong with that of course as the subject matter is a bit more serious and I am sure you will find ways to incorporate more FUN into them. I am anxious to see what’s in store 🙂

    • Tina says:

      Definitely have no intention whatsoever of giving up those posts. I fully believe in them and really do love what they present. I just need to be more me in them. I’m glad you are enjoying them so much. 🙂

  15. Sarah says:

    Tina! I’m definitely sticking around for the changes 🙂 That’s what’s so great about a blog because we all change throughout our lives therefore our blogs can change more easily than a book to reflect our moods and personal discoveries. I think that the 30 Days of Self Love is an AMAZING contribution and shining light in world that seems to promote self deprecating while striving for the impossible perfect ideal. Personally you taking time to find your voice and adapting your blog is a prime example of self love!

    • Tina says:

      Thanks! I didn’t really consider it as acting out some of what we’ve been sharing. It really is self-love to take action to be myself and love what that entails. I really appreciate this comment.

  16. Tina I enjoy your posts — both the 30DRSL and your regular posts. They lift me up and they also give me a glimpse into your life. You are a truly special person!

    Do what works for you. If you need to post more, do it. If you need to post less, do it. If you need more posts about YOU, do it! I look forward to reading either way.

  17. Eliza says:

    Humor is great- and a big part of love, in my opinion. I think its easy to get caught up in thinking that improving ourselves/paying attention to ourselves/even loving ourselves can be work or a challenge. Its a good mind shift to think instead of how we love other people (usually involves fun) and how to translate that to loving ourselves.

    (sorry if that didn’t make any sense. I’ve re-read it but my brain is totally fried and I’m having trouble communicating!)

  18. Michelle says:

    Bring on the fun! I’ll be reading no matter what you change up 🙂

  19. I totally get this. I thinkt the lost is GOD begging us to LISTEN to our hearts and what he has outlined for us. When i feel lost, its usually when I am NOT listening to my heart, nurturing my spirit with God -OR- it’s when i am not doing things to nurture those things which are screaming inside of me to get out.

    Be patient. I can’t wait to see how you’re moved!

  20. I totally understand how you can lose yourself in blogging. Find yourself and we will all be happy. I know it because you are fun and awesome and I love your blog. (So glad I found it!)

    Making a change is scary, whether you care what people think or not. I hope you still go for the change… it’s usually always worth it!

    The hardest part of blogging for me is trying to find what I like to write about and what people want to read about. Sometimes I’m surprised anyone even reads my blog.

  21. Other than the whole time issue, I think one of the hardest parts of blogging is sticking to your “voice”. When I have more and more people that I know outside of the blog reading it, I get a little nervous. And sometimes catch myself censoring what I want to say- which is the complete opposite of what I’m trying to do!

  22. Leah says:

    An absolutely wonderful post. Great job finding your “voice”, that is the hard part of blogging. You are doing a great job!

    I will definitely stick around to read the posts on the rest of the 30 day challenge, your thoughts are insightful and I think its wonderful you are listening to your heart, no matter how hard it may seem to change directions.

  23. Caitlin says:

    I am SO glad you’re sticking right in the middle with your approach to blogging throughout the month with the Challenge. It is SO important to stick to your voice, your true self and your blog’s identity. It’s also so hard to do. We get caught up in the comparison game far too easily I’m afraid. We want to write how we feel but we want to be loved and accepted (and commented upon). I think you’re doing a fantastic job of balancing – or what I consider to be the most important task at hand as a blogger! Keep up the amazing work, love.

  24. I have really enjoyed your 30 Days of Self Love serious, but I am so glad you are sticking with your true voice. Blogging just wouldn’t be Blogging without the fun!! I am definitely guilty of fearing change because I am worried about what others may think.

    We all love your blog, and as long as you keep being you, we will all stay 110% hooked on Faith Fitness Fun!!

  25. “Prior posts started to become more about a task to do and feeling the pressure to do it well. I wasn’t using my true blog voice.”

    I am sooo glad you are taking a step back from trying to help, give, share, enlighten others and are taking back the reigns a bit and are doing what YOU want to do.

    I am sooo guilty of blogging for what i think ppl want to read and hear sometimes, and my blog has almost been shut down by me many times b/c i get SO SICK of it. And then i realize i wouldnt be sick of it if i was blogging for me, not my readers, and not trying to help and enlighten every last one of them…i am not a doctor, ann landers, or any other form of self-help. I am a blogger. And I want to blog for me. Of course, i need/want readers, so this is all tempered by what they need, but i dont just give give give help help help like I used to. Nor should you 🙂

    Blog about what YOU want to and screw helping others 🙂 not totally, but you know what I mean 🙂

    xo

  26. tina, if there’s one thing to realize you have not lost, even just a little bit, it is your honesty and openness and that is the most important thing. you will get your voice back. you recognize what you need and what you want to do. thanks for being so open with all of us. i love your blog no matter what, but its yours. it should be freeing for you, make you happy. that is my wish for you. you are amazing, girl!

  27. Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day; I always love checking out new blogs and yours looks great.
    It looks like you have a pretty passionate message to share, and I love that. I look forward to reading more.

  28. I totally get you girl and I believe you should do it! You are so passionate about what you do, so I say roll with the changes!

  29. Blogging like life constantly changes. I just to with how I feel when I write. For me, it is a journal about my journey with health, food and fitness. I say you should write about what is important to you and definitely feel good about it when you publish it.

  30. Kristy says:

    This post is a prime example of how blogging adds to my life. When ever each of us recognizes something within our self that we want to change or get back to and then share that with the “world” it is the most powerful form of inspiration, not only for the author but the reader!

  31. Heather says:

    the hardest part of blogging is giving yourself the freedom to change if need be. i was so scared when i stopped blogging about my everyday food, but it was something i really wanted to do. that blogging style worked for me as i learned how to handle my emotions surrounding food, but once that started to heal it just didn’t feel like me anymore. hang in there girl…we come to read about YOU 🙂

  32. This blog is your own. Own it, girl. =)

  33. Lee says:

    I’m glad you posted this. I think that a big part of blogging is to be you!

  34. Jamie says:

    Oh my goodness, I just blogged about this very thing the other day. I’ve felt the same way lately. I described it as being “separated from myself”. By no means do I mean to “pimp out” my blog in your comments (I hate it when people do that) but I would LOVE your thoughts on it: http://inspiredmess.blogspot.com/2010/09/new-eyes.html

    I just recently found your blog and I love it! I immediately added it to my reader. You have to do what makes you happy. If it stresses you out and or takes away from your life in any way then make a change, whatever that may be for YOU. I’ve loved your 30 days posts and I love the way you write and reach others. Loved reading the comments on this post too! You have great readers.

    Just be you! The people that love you and love what you have to say will always be here with you, no matter what! Happy day to you!!!

    • Tina says:

      Thanks so much for this comment. I really appreciate it. 🙂

      I will be sure to check out that post. I love knowing that I can relate to someone out there. Part of whats so great about the blogging community.

  35. […] WordPress PluginThank you to those of you who reached out in support of my thoughts and emotions last night. I greatly appreciate it. I look forward to these changes and blogging in my true style once again. […]

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