get lost
Posted: October 19, 2010 at 6:57 pmFFF Featured Blogger (chosen from your comments): Eat Drink Breathe Sweat – Jess is a fellow Kick lover (and certified!). She also loves to run. I always love her posts because they truly show heart.
So, it’s time for me to be real again. Although, when am I ever not on this blog? I sometimes think I’m physically incapable of fudging the truth in the slightest. A good thing, I suppose. Or bad, if you’re sick of hearing me talk about the ramblings from my head and the randomness of my life.
I had another moody day today. Score for it having been almost three weeks since my last one though! That may earn a new pregnancy-hormone-moody-day related record. I just felt in a funk all day long. I’ve already harped on the many ways I don’t feel fully like myself during pregnancy – change of tastes, missing fitness goals, less energy, more pain to complain about, blah blah blah. Those all bothered me today along with just a sense of not caring. About anything. I had thoughts like why do I even bother to blog because it doesn’t mean anything? / do I really have to get up out of bed and care for a needy two year old today? / what good will trying to accomplish anything today have?
Those thoughts bother me more than anything else in the world. If you’ve read my blog for awhile, you know that I battled some depression and suicidal thoughts back in college. Depression and anxiety run in my family, so I never feel that I have completely broken free from this struggle. Fortunately, though, I can recognize those thought processes and stop them before they get too deep.
In the midst of today, I had an empowering moment. I had no desire to turn to food for comfort. My old coping mechanism always came in the form of a binge and stress/emotional eating. I still turn to other outlets to just get lost from my emotions for awhile, but they certainly aren’t near as detrimental. I now simply keep myself occupied. Today, I got in a workout, did laundry, washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, read kiddy books, read blogs, and anything else to keep my mind off the bombs flying in my head. Then, once I calmed down, I took a deep breath and sat down to reflect on the thoughts.
I honestly do not know what triggered today. I didn’t face a stressful situation. I didn’t feel run down or exhausted since I have done my fair share of sleep in the past 72 hours. I didn’t feel unloved or emotional about any one particular thing. I believe it was just one of those days. The moments where old demons try to find their way back into my heart and mind to discourage me and make me lose sight of the blessings and new life I have in my faith.
It sucked, but at the same time, it rocked. I don’t have to fear myself anymore. I hold more than enough power to overcome these moments, thanks to the strength of God in me showing me hope and mercy. I can hold on tight and find my way through unscathed. I don’t need to doubt my life or my worth because I can look around me and witness the many ways I do have value – to myself and others. (Hence, all the apparently random pictures.) So instead of hating on life and wishing I could be anywhere but here, I can enjoy the fact that I’m already at a better place. A beautiful place. 
- What ways do you “get lost” when facing tough emotions? Or do you grab the bull by the horns so to speak?
- Don’t forget to ASK ME ANYTHING for a Q + A series I hope to begin in November. 🙂
Tina, big (((hugs))) for you! You are such a strong and aware woman. What is so cool about your words tonight is that you are able to kind of “sit” with your feelings. You recognize them, acknowledge that they are there, and then surround yourself with everything you need to take control of them (staying busy, family, exercise, etc..). You took control, these thoughts didn’t. That is HUGE!
When I get lost I have to be around others. Being alone is not productive outside of the time it takes to process, recognize how I am feeling and then act. It can even be a coffee shop where I’m sitting alone but surrounded by people. I’m not exactly sure why. But that helps me on those days….
ugh, I needed this today.
I am feeling the “who cares” feeling today also… and only have one small thing that is upsetting me…
I am currently in the middle of this feeling, and I’ve just tried to ignore it all day. It’s not working. 🙁
I’m about to go on a run… I hope that helps. Reading this helped, and I’m going out to run and THINK now.
XXO
I usually like to be by myself when I am feeling down. I will go for a long run or walk or even just sit on the couch. I just need to be alone and deal with it myself. Thank you as always for being so real and honest!
I love that picture of you and M!!!
Whenever I’m in a funk I like to be alone and I’m not super social or chatty.
Aw I’m sorry you had a rough day, but good job reigning in your emotions! Depression and anxiety run in my family, too, so I experience those days as well. I try to distract myself with other activities because any time I let myself think I am asking for trouble!
What a fantastic post. I think being able to recognize that you are going down the path to having a down day is critical for not staying there.
I find that sometimes just going to bed is enough…I wake up the next day and start over. Hope you have a better day tomorrow!
I woke up today renewed! Luckily those days are kept under much more control than in my past. They don’t control me anymore.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Erin, Tina Reale. Tina Reale said: New post – lost in emotions: http://www.faithfitnessfun.com/5073/get-lost/ […]
Tina, I hate when I get in my down-moods….but I am so thankful God’s grace pulls me out of the moody blues!
I love you blog…don’t quit no matter what!
Remember, you are worth it! God love you and will help you in times of distress and despair! I love you girly!
Thanks for sharing. I have more moody days than I care to remember. My favorite stress release is exercise – I feel SO much better when I’m done. Chocolate helps too 🙂
There are often those times when I have to sit down by myself, have a good cry, and pray. I had a professor in seminary who used to say, “Tears are holy.” I truly believe that – when we recognize our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them, we honor who and where we are in the moment and hopefully can begin to work on them.
Aww Tina, I just want to cry reading that because I so understand where you are coming from. Sometimes those moods just wash over me and I don’t see it coming and I don’t know how to escape it. Usually it’s food. Because it’s what I know. I’m so proud of you for being clearheaded and strong enough to see though the emotions and to lose yourself in a way that wasn’t self destructive. You’re never alone-and even when you feel at your lowest, God is always there to cradle you.
I’m so glad that you refrained from bingeing, I am a recovering compulsive eater and there are still days where I have to struggle with that impulse, even though there are (supposedly) no triggers for me. Just vent a little, enjoy your family, and work out (if you can). Thanks for sharing. Love this post.
I haven’t binged in a long time, but still have the urge to eat for comfort when upset that I have to fight a lot. Yesterday was the first time (that I can remember at least) that I didn’t even have that urge. It felt great. 🙂
Ahh, I have those days too. Usually when I am upset I will go run a few miles and instantly feel better.
I really try to get out of the house. Usually if I change my environment I end up feeling better about things and a little more in control. Congratulations on not using food to cope…making choices that serve you in the long run make such a difference!
This post makes me happy. you have come so far and knowing you has made me life better–so anything that makes your life better, happier, easier–makes me happy .
Oh girl.. we all have those days. They are NOT fun. But the important thing is you fought it and overcame it. You are strong and one day is just that.. one day. Tomorrow is a NEW day.
friend, i am so sorry you had this massively rough day. i know what triggered it: your hormones!!!! and the fact that no matter how well planned and wnated and loved a child will be, the fact that your life is going to turn upside down in a few mos is a HUGE trigger, whether conscious or not. It just is there. Dont beat yourself up and you defi handled yourself awesomely 🙂
I certainly agree hormones play a big role. Dang them! Then, in a few months it will be sleep deprivation. LOL Good thing I’ve learned how to handle those types of situations better than in my past.
I think we all have days like that.
I love that you dont let it bring you down though. I havent “known” you for long, but I think your pretty fantastic and Im glad to see that you know it. 🙂
Your realness is what I really love about your blog.
Thanks for sharing everything including the struggles – you really are such an inspiration.
Thanks for sharing that on your blog – and well done for being able to handle those feelings so well, and recognising how well you have done. I usually tend to get very upset – get all that emotion out and then get myself back to normal. A binge is usually involved too, but I am getting better at spotting what triggers them. Love that black and white pic of you and your daughter, so beautiful x
girl, i know what you mean especially in regards to blogging. i think it’s so easy to become so emotionally invested in it…i mean, it’s your heart and your life that you’re pouring out after all! the biggest thing that helped me was just taking the time to breathe, taking some days off from blogging (no blogging on saturday!), and getting back to my roots by posting recipes rather than everything i eat. do what’s right for you!
First: That photo of you & M is stuning! Second: 9 months of not feeling like yourself is a LONG time, but being in control of your thoughts and actions is one of the most comforting feelings. Youre ah-mazing! 🙂
Confrontation of anything is something I’m still not good with. Whether that be another person, or dealing with things upseting me. I think that’s why I looked to emotional eating as an outlet at times. Now, it’s something I’m working on. And is honestly why I’ve become such a gym rat- because it’s a release when I need it. I’ve also learned the value of having friends that can sit there and don’t judge as you vent- talking yourself in circles at times until you stop and say “well I feel better now”. 🙂
Sorry it was a rough day. I hope today is much better!
Yes! Those people you can just vent your thoughts to without judgment are gems. I’m so thankful for Peter being a sounding board for me as well as all of you.
This is a great entry Tina. You have such a great way of wording things. You recognize life’s challenges but at the same time you are looking for the opportunity to grow and learn from them! I love the pictures:)
The reason I love your blog so much is your absolute honesty. I appreciate that because sometimes it takes more guts to be honest than to pretend. I am sorry you had a down day. I have battled depression and sometimes have those random days for absolutely no reason. They seem to happen on days when I should be the happiest it seems. Maybe there is something to that…
I’m sorry that you had such a rough day but congratulations on not having the urge to binge! That’s such an amazing feeling. And because you didn’t numb yourself with food, you don’t have the added binge guilt. Hopefully today is better 🙂 And everyone has their down days, it helps us appreciate the happy days that much more.
I’m so thankful for your comment! I can totally relate to your post too. Sometimes, negative feelings come from NO where. I think it’s a obstacle and God lets us choose how to handle it. I’m glad you can recognize your depression and fight it. The worst thing you can do is let it control you. Hope your day gets better today! : )
Tina I get lost in my emotions so much — little things drive me crazy and eat at me all day. What I need to do is what you did: write down my feelings and thoughts and reflect on it. I tend to just let things sit and build up and then I spend a weekend crying and laying in bed. Oh and then I emotionally eat the whole time too.
I know that writing helps me — even if no one else ever sees it — I just need to get in the practice of doing it. I’ve thought about having a daily journal (separate from the blog obviously) where I can reflect each day on whats going on with me on the inside.
Writing is definitely a huge outlet for me. One of the main reasons I love blogging so much and always keep it so open and honest. Getting the thoughts OUT makes such a difference for me.
Really amazing post, Tina. You always pull out these inspiring posts when you dig deep and really share your heart with us. I’m sorry that you experienced some of those negative thoughts, but it’s great that you recognize that the thought itself doesn’t really matter, it’s how you react to it. Three cheers for using effective, helpful coping mechanisms instead of harmful ones!
Whenever I’m in a funk (which has been a little more often than usual lately… and I’m pretty sure I know what the main reason is), it’s talking it out and exercise that get me through it. Both are great (although different) forms of release and I haven’t a clue how I’d cope without them. Great post. With all these comments, it’s clear you’re not alone!
Oh Tina, I hate reading this is happening to you. I am glad you found other ways to deal with the hormones though. My second pregnancy was HORRIBLE when it came to my emotions. I NEVER felt like myself and I was truly lost. I have such a great husband and he really helps me through so much. I have found that talking with him about these things really does help. I always preface it with the fact that “I know this is irrational” and then let it out. It really helps me realize that the thoughts and emotions are not bigger than me. If you need anything, you know I am always here!
Thanks, Sarena! You are such a good friend. 🙂 Can’t wait to see you again next Friday. Which reminds me that I totally need to call for a reservation and send out a confirmation email…like today. LOL But anyways…Peter is so incredibly supportive this time too. I think he really sees that this pregnancy is doing more of a number on me than the last time. His understanding helps so much. I know he hears his fair share of my thoughts.
Tina,
Thank you for this 🙂 I don’t know if I’ve ever commented, but I read your blog all the time. I don’t know how you do it, but even when you post about negativity or rough days, you always manage to leave me feeling inspired and hopeful. I’ve had a really rough couple of days, and this is definitely something I needed to read.
<3 Tat
I’m pretty sure you have commented before, but thanks for coming out of the woodwork again. I always love to hear from you all. Hopefully today we can both continue to feel inspired and hopeful. We deserve it. 🙂 Have a GREAT one!
great post, tina! as always of course.
one thing i have been meditating on lately, when thoughts or emotions or negativity in general creep in, is that “my emotions are not my reality.”
i may feel ugly, but God’s reality is that i am beautiful.
i may feel worthless, but God’s reality is that i am a priceless treasure.
i may feel hopeless, but God’s reality is that He has a plan for me that is wonderful beyond measure.
i am human, so i’ll feel these things.
but that does not make them true.
I absolutely LOVE this. Thank you so much for sharing that approach. I need to find a place to stick it so I can remember it the next time an emotional day rolls around. Because, like you said, we’re human so I know it will happen again someday.
It’s totally normal to have those moments. At least you identified yours and it’s awesome how you turned it around. Look at how far you are come. God is amazing and you truly have to put all your faith in his plans.
Beautiful pictures, as always.
Anytime I am truly a bottle of emotion I go off by myself, if it’s for a run or even to Target you try to get lost and refocus on something better.
[…] of all, I want to thank those of you who commented on last night’s post. I appreciate every single word and all the support you all provide to me on a regular basis. Like […]
I get anxiety because I worry about anything and everything at times. When I notice I am thinking about the worst situation that could happen, I turn every negative thought into a positive one. : )
I read! There is something about reading that takes you away from reality for a bit!
This is such a great post, Tina! I think it is SO important for us to all be okay with having these kinds of days. I have DEFinitely had my fair share as of late, and reading posts like yours makes me feel like, “Okay, this is normal.” (Although I am not preggers….what is my excuse?! LOL).
I wish I could say I had the best solution for a coping mechanism when I feel blue, but the truth is, I just don’t. Not 100% of the time, anyway. There are times when I do, though, and that is usually when I choose to “talk it out” with a friend, or remove myself from the feelings/situation (either by shopping, watching a movie, working out, etc.).
I hope you feel better today.
I do not handle bad days very well. I tend to take it out on my husband and sulk. But I usually make myself work out and that makes me feel better.
Me too. I don’t like that I get fussy and mean to my husband 🙁 That’s why I try to go upstairs, away from him, so I’m not tempted to yell too much. And exercise, yes!
Tina, I think you’re awesome. Don’t forget it. I struggle with the same thoughts and feelings from time to time–but seems to be less and less now, so that’s a good thing! Instead of getting angry, pounding the walls or sitting in a ball and crying or with my hand in a bag of chips or candy, I’ve been trying to exercise instead. It seems to be helping! Or I will go fold laundry, just anything to put me upstairs by myself for a little bit. 🙂