I’m Confident Because…

Posted: May 19, 2011 at 9:54 am

So, last night I ran a little errand to pick up some dry cleaning. I had two of my favorite dresses finally cleaned (*cough* because I didn’t wear them 3 or 4 times each over the course of a few years without taking them to be cleaned or anything like that *cough*).

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I planned to wear one in particular to the Fitbloggin Harbor Social on Friday night. I pulled the dress out of the packaging and zipped it up. It fit! Then, I turned around and looked in the mirror. Ohhh…no. Not going to work. The nursing boobs have struck again and taken a previously classy but fun clothing item and turned it into an “I’m-working-the-corner-how-much-you-got-for-me” item. Sigh. Okay, I will try the other dress. It’s strapless and shouldn’t have a problem with in-your-face cleavage. Wrong. I don’t understand how cleavage happens in a strapless dress either.

Okay, then. Plan B. I pull out my other dresses I own – all 3 of them. They are all a bit on the “too big” side and left me feeling frumpy. Grrrr. I turn to Peter with puppy dog eyes and he sends me up to the stores to try and find something.

It’s been a “hot minute” as my sister would say (<-- any of you say this apparently popular phrase??) since I have shopped for real clothes. The only options I had were Target, Ross, Kohls, and TJ Maxx. I started at TJ Maxx. It had a few nice dresses, but none were a fit or style really flattering to my body when I tried them on. Okay. I will try Kohls. What the heck is up with their stuff? It was all either way too stiff/serious looking or high-school-trashy attire. On to Target. All their dresses looked like beach cover-ups and were partly see through. On to Ross, which is where I found the redneck dimension of my little town and promptly walked out afraid after seeing the rack of dresses. Oh, the hideousness!

As my night and dress venture wore on, my confidence wore down. I began critiquing my body more and more harshly in the mirror as I tried on the handful of dresses I found. I began feeling negative about my appearance and that I won’t look put together enough for the social. I even started feeling down about having to miss two workouts this week and believing it affected how “in-shape” I look. Things obviously verged on spiraling out of control. I teetered on a slippery slope. And for what? For a dress! Even though I have a jeans/cute top that I feel great in!

So, I sucked it up and told myself to turn it around. I made myself list out reasons to feel confident no matter what I end up wearing tomorrow night.

I Will Be Confident Tomorrow Night Because…

  • I believe in my worth and that I’m more than my appearance. People aren’t really going to pay attention to my fashion, but my persona. I think I’m pretty nice and friendly.
  • I feel so great physically and know I have made great progress. Those dresses did fit after all! And I think I look pretty good in my jeans.
  • I have come so far. Not only physically with my body after baby progress, but more so mentally over years of learning what matters most in who I am.
  • I will have kicked butt with some fun workouts earlier in the day and nothing boosts confidence like a fun sweat.

On a whole, I am confident in who I am for way more reasons than those, but for tomorrow night, these work. Plus, if all else fails, I can think of how much these guys love me and that’s all I need.

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I’m going to miss those little faces!!!! Time to eat them up one last time before hitting the road! See you all tonight from Baltimore!

  • How do you get past those “nothing to wear” confidence challenges?
  • How often do you go to the dry cleaners? aka tell me I’m not the only one who puts it off so badly

 
36 Comments to “I’m Confident Because…”
  1. I can relate to this on so many levels. I hate shopping partly because looking in that dressing room mirror resurfaces a lot of my Crazies from the past. (Whose idea was it to install fluorescent lighting in those rooms anyhow? Not flattering to anyone…!) I have gotten better at telling those voices what’s what (or better, who’s who), but it’s still a challenge. So wonderful to read about the real reasons we can be confident. Love it! Have a great time!

  2. I’m so with you on Kohls!! Why is all their stuff either made for 17 year old wanna-be Britney Spears girl, or stuff I could wear when I’m 45 and in a boring office. No in-between… boo!

    I seriously have nothing to wear right now, but like you, I’m ok with it. I just let my personality shine through and screw be fashionable 🙂

  3. RunEatRepeat says:

    Girl, you should be confident because you’re gorgeous. You look better in a bikini than I do and I don’t have any babies. You are seriously amazing and your body is bouncing back faster than anyone I know.

  4. Tara Golzbein says:

    I love the look on Mackenzie’s face, lol. This reminds me of my Ava. I tell myself it’s the age, lol

  5. I have an irrational phobia of dry cleaners, so I am NOT the one to compare to. I know, weird. And I KNOW you’re going to look awesome in whatever you decide to wear!

  6. Stay confident…you are gorgeous and you are going to have a blast this weekend! I wish I could go….I went to college in Baltimore and would love to be back there…although going into labor at a conference might not leave the best first impression. 🙂 I always find the best dresses at Ann Taylor Loft and Banana Republic Outlet. Great sales and great fitting!!

  7. Tina I am so with you on this — when I can’t find something to wear I blame myself and my body — why???? just because something doesn’t fit right doesn’t mean something is wrong — clothing comes in all shapes, sizes and styles and I need to remind myself that I just haven’t found what works for me.

  8. Such a wonderful message Tina 🙂

    To be honest I don’t really get dressed up very often so I don’t have to worry about it! I just wear what feel comfy. Doesn’t always look amazing but I don’t care much. Which reminds me I’ve been meaning to do a blog post challenge to myself to look more put together… 😛

    Hope you have a wonderful time at Fitbloggin, wish I could be there! 🙂

  9. Those “I have nothing to wear” moments can be devestating. I’ve cancelled plans because I’ve felt so disgusted with my lack of selection/the way things looked on me. I’ll try to keep your positive messages in mind next time!

  10. Oh goodness we don’t even iron our clothes let alone dry clean! I know what you mean about the challenge though. When nothing fits it really takes a toll on me. So then I go hug my husband and remember that u am loved and so very blessed!

  11. Jess says:

    Isn’t it crazy (and SO frustrating) when you try on just one item of clothing and suddenly its your BODY that’s the problem, not the darn dress? And suddenly our confidence FLIES out the window. My husband runs for the hills everytime this happens in our household – he just doesn’t understand how confidence can disappear over an outfit. It’s so hard to banish those negative thoughts in favor of rational thinking…I SO know what you mean. I’m so glad that you turned it around into a positive (as you always do!) and are excited for fitbloggin. I’m sad I won’t see you 🙁 Have an awesome time!

  12. I try not to buy clothes that have to be dry cleaned 😉 I won’t even admit to how overdue some things are for official cleaning!!

  13. I can’t shop for dresses– it’s probably the worst experience to force upon someone.
    I have to go by myself to spare anyone from having to put up with me while I dress shop. There is frustration, self-deprecation, and usually tears involved. Not pretty.

  14. Jennifer Rahn says:

    You are amazing.

    I haven’t made the “pick-out-a-postpartum-dress” shopping trip yet, but I was not looking forward to it. Now, armed with your perspective, I’m set for it when the time comes.

    I wish I could come up from DC to see you in Baltimore. Enjoy!

  15. I can’t wait to meet you tonight Tina!!!! I was struggling a lot with what to wear for the conference but then I decided you know what? It really doesn’t matter, and I just picked out a bunch of things from my closet and didn’t get anything new. We’re not there to dress to impress!

  16. jobo says:

    I totally get this too. When nothing fits just right, either too big, too snug or just meh. I had a similar meltdown a week or so ago. It sucks, that feeling, but when you count all the GOOD positive things on the other hand, you start to pick yourself up, which is exactly what you’ve done! I love that. Have a blast at FitBloggin!!!

  17. I am doing this right now! I’m not worrying about clothes any more though. It makes me kind of crazy. I just want to be comfortable and professional. So, what I have will have to work. I hate shopping under the gun. It overwhelms me to no end! Have fun Tina, can’t wait to hear about your weekend!

  18. I am awful at making it to the dry cleaners! I usually take off my ‘dry clean only’ clothes and hang them right back up!

    I always have ‘nothing to wear’ drama at my house! I hate shirts that I bought a week earlier! How can I think something is awesome and then hate it!? The worst for me is bathing suit shopping. I feel like my chest is too saggy, my thighs are too cellulitey (not a word?) or my love handles are bursting out of the bottoms. I usually leave feeling so frustrated! I don’t think I have found a way to overcome that yet, but I’m working on it!

    P.S. I love your reasons for being confident! You are awesome! 😉

  19. Maria says:

    Aww, I wish I was going to FitBloggin so I can give you a big hug! (Does that qualify me for creeper status?) 🙂

    I play this stupid “I have nothing to wear game with myself every single morning. I change clothes at least 3 times and it’s driving me (and my Fiance) absolutely crazy. I have to remind myself that clothes don’t make me – only I do.

  20. I totally say hot minute. 🙂

  21. Mellissa says:

    You will look great in whatever you wear- just be you. It is about the person not the outfit. Of course you want to look and feel pretty but pick something that you feel comfortable in.

    The dresses out right now aren’t really built for 20-30’s women. It is either teen or older lady.

  22. Melie says:

    You should be confident because you are beautiful and amazing all over! 🙂 I never wear strapless dresses. My chest is too big for this, I just look like… working on the corner as you said! 😉

  23. I have them a good amount. They’re tough, but I usually step back and realize I’m my own harshest critic. I also like to have a friend in tow to keep me grounded 😉

  24. Shannon says:

    My expanding pregnancy body is making me cringe whenever I get into clothes and I also have a problem with the in-your-face cleavage. I hope “the girls” don’t expand too much more because I really like the tops I can wear right now!

    Do you have cute sweater that goes with the super-cleavage dresses? I know it’s late May and its starting to get warmer, but maybe a little “up top” camouflage/cover-up would work?? 🙂

    – Shannon

  25. Sarah says:

    Ahem. I have NEVER been to the dry cleaners.
    Oops.

  26. A smile is the best accessory. Totally cheesy but true.

    I just threw a bunch of casual sundresses in my bag and hope that one of them fits my mood tomorrow night. See you at Fitbloggin’! 🙂

  27. This is a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. I love how you turned the moment of self pity into something positive. And I’m sure you will not only feel confident, but look great at the social. Have fun!

  28. I have totally been in the situation you described. Well, not exactly. Even when I was nursing my tah-tahs were pretty tiny, so I usually have the opposite problem. 😉 (is it okay if I wear two padded bras so this fits?! is a question I have had to ask…)

  29. Yea Girl – get down with your confident self! Have a GREAT time this weekend. 🙂

    FYI – everything at Banana Republic is on sale and Loehmann’s usually a good best for me.

  30. Dorry says:

    I RARELY go to the dry cleaners- not even for Billy because he gets to dress casually for work everyday, and with nice dresses, you don’t really NEED to dry clean it after every wear, right?? I hope you have an amazing time this weekend! I know you’ve been looking forward to it for a long time. And you’d look beautiful if you showed up in a t-shirt and shorts! 🙂

  31. Trying to find stuff to wear when you have large boobs is SO difficult! I no longer have that problem, mine seem to have disappeared, but I used to. I could never find anything to wear that didnt wind up looking trashy.

    I’ve never been to the dry cleaners in my life. Basically if something is dry clean only I try extra hard not to get it dirty so I never have to wash it.

  32. vivoir says:

    I <3 this- no garment can ever, in my opinion, give somebody enough confidence to make a sustainable change in outlook and self-belief. That comes from deeper shifts. As you very, very skillfully outline 🙂

    Oh and dry cleaners? Umm… If it says 'dry clean only', I read it as delicate wash cycle in the machine 😉

  33. Lindsay says:

    I never dry clean my clothes because I dont have any dress clothes, but my mom is always taking her clothes to the dry cleaners because she works in a department where dry clean only clothes are required! lol!

    I also dont want to be negative, but the stores that you were shopping at are going to probably provide your dresses that arent quite as fashionable or fitting for a woman! 😀

  34. Aww M doesn’t look happy haha

    I LOVE your positivity in this post, it’s exactly what I needed to hear this week, as I’ve been having less than stellar confidence!

  35. Sarah Elizabeth says:

    You should try RueLaLa! (http://www.ruelala.com/invite/szabek)

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