Today was a pleasurable day. I went to the gym for a spin class and felt much better today than yesterday during my workout. I kept up with my heart rate to be sure I was maintaining a reasonable level of intensity and paid close attention to my body. It went swimmingly. Other parts of today were catching up on emails, getting more tutoring lessons prepared, and receiving great news! My hormone levels increased dramatically over the four days between blood work. They went from 631 mIU/mL to 3,898 mIU/mL. They say it increased better than expected and they will see me at my next appointment on June 3rd for our first ultrasound and a general workup. Totally praising God right now for that.

In between all of that I spent time with my #1 girl and I couldn’t stop noticing the raw energy and enjoyment she has for life, like most kids. Their faces light up with delight at the simplest things and it is so inspiring. Jesus even said that “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3-4). In my mind that shows that in order to know true life we should embrace the mind of a child. If we view the world through the eyes of a child we are able to see the beauty, believe in the good, and be excited about what our lives hold. Children are humble and don’t expect much. Their pleasures are in the basics and I have certainly taken a lesson from that. Today I paid attention so Makenzie could show me the world through her eyes. From noting the things she squeals with excitement over, I really think I learned something.

1. Flahflah & Tees (Flowers & Trees) – Every time we go outside she points at the trees and shouts about the flowers. How amazing would it be to consistently be in awe of God’s beauty found in nature? Why shouldn’t I be just as excited to walk out and witness blue skies, wind blowing calmly through the leaves, and those gorgeous flowers planted by our driveway? They are God’s masterpiece painted for my joy every day.

2. Te-deeee (Teddy) – I honestly believe her special teddy bear gets more love than I do. But Makenzie is still onto something. How great to have the companionship of a special friend. The friendships in my life deserve the same pure excitement Makenzie has for her teddy. Teddy gets love every day and I benefit in sharing that same mutual love with the friends I have.

3. Sweensweensweensweeeeeen (SwingSwingSwingSwiiiing!) – Life is too short to miss out on fun and doing the things you enjoy. You know from previous posts that Makenzie could spend hours straight on a swing. There is no reason for us to avoid taking the time to ‘swing’ in our own ways.

4. Eat (also included are nana, milk, cheese, bokli) – Hmmm…that girl knows her food words well. I think she has her priorities straight. 😉 It is wonderful to watch her take pleasure in eating, including wholesome foods. She isn’t scared of food and doesn’t have any preconceived notions about it either. Somewhere along the way we pick those negative notions up. Wouldn’t it be nice to have the same joyful approach to food no matter what? Look at how happy M is chomping away on whole wheat pasta, sauce, and diced veggies.

5. Book – The girl loves to learn. She will sit with books for long periods of time and just take in all the pictures and try to say all the words she sees in the pictures. Even things beyond her full understanding, such as numbers and letters, she wants to envelope herself in. She will search out numbers and letters so she can point to them and say “eight” or “O” (the one number and letter she knows). She constantly turns to me and asks “Mom-me?” so I can quench her thirsty mind. Her passion for discovery is inspiring. I hope I can keep that drive to learn and find growth in myself as well.

6. Je-ssss (Jesus) – This one makes me so proud. Her face breaks into a huge smile every time Jesus, praying, or God are mentioned. The joy in our Creator and what Christ did for us can’t be kept inside. Does it pour out of me like with her? Do I burst into a smile upon mention of His name? I certainly hope so. The baby girl has it down and it is my responsibility to keep that love burning, so she can grow into the amazing woman she was created to be.

What do you think? Do you think kids have it figured out?

What do the things you get excited about show the world? Do you have the same joy living in you as a child?

Last night we went to an “Around the House” shower for my friend. She is getting married at the end of September and I’m very happy for her. It’s funny because we always expected her to be the first of us to get married. She was always the girl that wanted to be married so badly and I was the girl claiming I would never ever ever do so. Interesting how life works out, huh? And I gotta say I’m happy my plans don’t always go as expected since it tends to lead toward greater things. I adore my life now!

Upon arriving to the shower, I got a quick moment to say hello to my friend.

There was some strained feeling conversation. I admit that part of it could be mental on my part because I wanted to share my good news with her but didn’t want to do so on her special night. But I also was a little disappointed because she knew I would have tested by then and that I had called her a couple times during the week, yet she didn’t even ask. I basically got a brief hello and all the details of getting her makeup done before she flitted off to talk to other guests. I also felt like she was avoiding me the rest of the night because every time I went up to her she walked off immediately.

I’m not too upset about that because I know part of the responsibility as guest of honor is to visit everyone. And there were a lot of people at the shower…many of which I did not know. I know my friend’s family well, but it was so crowded I didn’t even get to be around them much. Normally I would mingle and make new friends, but we had Makenzie with us and had to keep an eye on her the entire time. We are used to attending kid friendly functions and there was nothing on the invite to let us know this would not be a kid friendly place. Makenzie tried to entertain everyone and was still welcomed though.

And there were some yummy snacks to keep me happy. Guacamole, raw veggies, and pita chips (unpictured) are a girl’s best friend when the remainder of the food is very subpar.

We left after only a couple of hours. I was getting tired, Makenzie was starting to act up, we were bored with all the cliques, and I still felt a little hurt by my friend’s cold shoulder. I might be over reacting, but I’m a little surprised she didn’t think to ask when I told her a week ago I would be calling to let her know the results. Also surprising since she has no problem pointing out how hard it must be for me to be heavier (while being sure to sneak in her weight) and wondering how pregnant I will be for her wedding….because after all “she picked the bridesmaids dresses specifically because I was supposed to be pregnant” (something she said not even 2 weeks ago). And it might also be in light of the many questions, supportive comments, and emails from others that I received over the course of the week. Wouldn’t my supposed best friend be more on top of the game?

Okay I’m finished. I don’t like being negative so let’s talk about today. Today was another day of festivity. It has just been a party kind of weekend. This party was more up our alley though. It was our friends’ daughter’s 2nd Birthday. Elmo, a bunch of tots, balloons, and friends from church can make a great party. Trust me.

The atmosphere was much more laid back, we were surrounded by quite a few friends and even the people we didn’t know well were so nice to talk to. The excitement and laughter from the kids just overflows to put smiles on every face in the room and makes for an all around fun afternoon. It's nice to feel like you are a valued friend and that your company is appreciated, but I digress. I think that is almost as negative as you’ve ever heard me get on my blog. I don’t like it. I will say though it helps to vent frustrations. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and just recognize some of those actions are just part of who she is and I have to accept that. I also need to consider her perspective of maybe she sensed I had news to share, but didn't want it on her party night, which I understand. So I feel better and am actively going to move on now.

• Are there things you face with any of your friends that can drive you crazy? How do you deal with it? I try to focus on the positive aspects of the friendship, trust there are reasons behind the person’s actions, and just move on. Sometimes it’s hard when you’re hormonal more strongly emotionally invested in what is going on, but I believe you have to trust someone who has been a friend for so long.
• What is something you never foresaw yourself doing, but couldn’t imagine your life without that part of you now? Marriage! And then having a kid not even 2 years into it. The saying “when you know, you know” definitely applies to both of those. I just knew it was right, trusted it, and won’t ever look back.