Wow! A lot of you feel my frustration with Walmart yesterday. So after yesterday’s debacle, it felt good to come home from tutoring, eat dinner, and lay down in bed by 8 o’clock. These days, I feel as though I could stay in bed all day. It’s the only place I can ever really get comfortable. In reality though I would likely go stir-crazy. But the thought sure is nice.

In fact, I know I would go more than a little stir-crazy. I couldn’t wait to go to spin today. I somehow always feel better for awhile after workouts. It’s like my physical therapy. Also, my  mental therapy. I knew I wanted to do another Q + A post today and when picking out which to answer, I came across one that needed a bit more thought. Spin became my reflection time.

How do you feel about Makenzie having a close relationship with your father? Do you ever feel guilty for keeping her at a distance from her grandfather? (I ask this because I'm in a similar situation with my dad and daughter.)

While I don’t have as close a relationship with my father as I do with my mother, or even as I could have with him, I never keep M at a distance. She sees him very regularly – just as often as any other grandparent, so at least a couple times per month. I feel comfortable with this because my father is in a better place himself than when he treated me so poorly. He now handles some of the underlying issues that caused problems when I was growing up. Also, I was the main one who ever took the brunt of such hurtful words and hatred. I was the only one he ever hit and that was years ago. I do not negate the wrongfulness of his actions, but I do forgive them. I can’t let that part of my past control me anymore, so I must let it go. And I do not want my grudges to inhibit my daughter’s chance to be loved by those who care for her immensely.

My dad is great with her. He plays, cuddles, laughs, and everything else a grandparent does with her. I won’t lie. It hurts on one level because I missed out on that type of outward affection for much of my childhood. But my pride does not matter here. Makenzie adores him and, as long as he treats her in a way I feel comfortable with, I am happy for her to have that relationship. He makes her happy. It isn’t hurting her in any way. That makes me happy. That’s all that matters.

I will say though, if he ever hurt her in any way (emotionally or physically) or reacted to me that way openly in front of her, then he would lose all contact with her. I honestly don’t ever foresee that happening as he has changed so much from that time, but I did want to put that out there for whoever else may be in this situation. If there were any recognizable chance of harm to my child, I would not allow such an open relationship with him. In sum, it’s always about my daughter’s needs and not my wants or pride.

Wow, that was weighty, but a good discussion as well. I will now send you off to your Tuesday with this. Keep cheery!

source

• Where/when do you do some of your best thinking or reflecting?
• For fun - What’s something that made you laugh recently?
• If you have a question you would like me to answer in the Nov series, CLICK TO ASK ME ANYTHING.

I don’t think it has ever been more enthusiastically said - “Happy Tuesday!!!!” After yesterday, today is indeed a very happy Tuesday. I knew it was going to be smooth sailing from the start. After all, my car made it to the gym in one piece. That is a great sign, right? 😉 I followed making it to the gym with an excellent workout. I did a Power + Kick class today. It amazes me every time I complete these classes how perfect they are for me right now. Even though I did 2 hours today, which for the record is not the norm, I did not leave feeling beat at all. They are perfect for many reasons.

• Adds variety to my workouts so I don’t get bored. I am limited in the workouts I am comfortable doing right now and having different classes helps keep it more interesting.
• The perfect amount of challenge. For example, today in Power I lifted heavy enough to feel a challenge but not as much as I could. In Kick I didn’t do moves at a very high intensity and kept everything low impact. I almost never leave feeling fatigued in any way, shape, or form.
• No numbers to get caught up in. I love lifting weights and seeing the amount I can lift go up. I love seeing my speed/interval times/resistance in cardio workouts improve. It isn’t realistic to push myself right now, so classes keep me focused on just going, doing the workout, and moving on. It is hard to hold back intensity when I am doing my own thing.
• Don’t have to think! I love making up workout plans, but for now I want to save that energy. I want to have the excitement to bust out some awesome workout plans when I can give them my all.
• They will be great to continue after I am pregnant. And please let that be soon. Anyways, I know the last time I was pregnant, I really enjoyed classes or some of my DVDs similar to classes more. Why not get my body used to them now, so I can keep up with when the time comes?

There was only one negative to today’s class. During Group Kick, they had their new Group Kick girl practicing teaching the class. She just went through the training about a month ago and is now practicing leading the classes. This isn’t negative because she was a bad teacher. Absolutely not! It was a negative because it could have been me. I was supposed to go through the training and get certified to teach Group Kick but decided to hold off and pulled out a couple months ago. I don’t know if I ever disclosed that on the blog. I decided that since my body doesn’t need additional stress right now, going through the training should wait until I can give the time and energy it will definitely require. Logically I know it was the right decision, but emotionally it is still hard to swallow. I cannot wait to be more involved in the fitness world and it is just another thing I have to be patient with. Think God is into testing my patience much these days? Love the Big Man, but sometimes I just want to say “Got It! Can we stop the games now??”. 😉