this morning’s Self-Love Reflection comes from one of my long time internet friends – Becca. She does the competition thing with grace, determination, and self-care. I love her journey and watching her continue to grow into a fitter person inside and out. She basically rocks! I hope you enjoy reading more from her. Take it away, Becca!

Hi everyone! I’m Becca and I blog over at Ihearteggs if you didn’t already know that. Anyone looking at my blog would automatically think “hot mess”… or so I’d like to think. With a tendency to be all over the place, I recently left my career in the city to move back to my hometown. Things haven’t been easy and a few years ago this would have killed me because…well, it wasn’t perfect.

Giving up my “perfect” life to make a total life change and giving up my full independence is not like me. I’ve always strived for perfection, but then I started to realize a few things - mainly that perfection was leading me on a dangerous path. Finally being able to let go of that image in my head led to more self love and acceptance than I could have ever dreamed of.

So why is everyone so obsessed with “perfect”?

• Being the perfect competitor
• Being the perfect employee
• Being the perfect girlfriend/sister/mother
• Being the perfect you

That’s why I prefer to say “perfect” now instead of straight up perfect. It all comes down to the comparison trap, letting others dictate who we should be, what we should do, and what is normal.

I always strived for perfection. I mean who doesn’t want that?

I was the perfect daughter. I did as I was told. I went to the schools that were expected of me. I took the right paths in life. Therefore, everything should be great and wonderful right?

Wrong.

While everything looked perfect, I felt far from it. The smile on my face wasn’t real and it wasn’t until I finally decided to break that perfect cycle and take off to Montreal on my own that I really found my happiness. Leaving was hard. The feeling of disappointing everyone, giving up on my fake dreams, made me feel confused and vulnerable. But at least for once I was feeling something.

It was letting go of those expectations and comparisons that allowed me to find MY perfect. The Becca with a no plan-plan, who would take off to Vermont for a weekend because I could and then “waste time” wandering aimlessly for hours. I finally realized I was a spur of the moment impulsive planner.

How is that for crazy and imperfect for you? Pretty great, eh?

I was the same way with dieting for competitions. I wanted to be “perfect”, to follow my plans to the letter, never question, never want explanation.

You want me to stop eating dairy? Okay! Cut out all salt and water? Done! Add in another hour of cardio a day and cancel the rest day? I’m on it!

Huh?! Say what? Fast track right back into disordered eating if you ask me.

So I researched, and I planned and I found a coach who allowed me to not have to eliminate foods. I didn’t have to spend hours on the stepmill. I found a coach who allowed me to be perfect… at being imperfect.

Perfect diets don’t work. Everyone is so different and so individual that you have to find your perfect or you’ll end up miserable…and probably 50 lbs heavier than where you started. Been there, done that. No thank you!

What I’ve learned is perfect for everyone else isn’t necessarily perfect for me. While I know my life and my habits would drive some people crazy, I’d be crazy without them. I fully embrace this new mindset. I no longer strive for the perfect model body, the perfect career, or the perfect home. I strive for being the best ME, whether it’s on a stage, playing at the park with my nephew or burning dinner…for the third night in row.

I used to be terrified of making mistakes and taking the wrong path… but now? Bring it on. I accept the good with the  bad, but most of all I accept me, flaws, talents and everything in between.

• What is a way you have tried to be “perfect”? How do you embrace “imperfections” now?

Hey there Faith Fitness and Fun readers! I'm Lindsay and I blog over at Living Lindsay. I'm so honored that Tina has given me the opportunity to invade her corner of the blog world and share my story. Thank you so much Tina!

When you spend most of your life overweight, it becomes second nature to lose faith in yourself. Self- confidence flies out the window and you always view the cup as half-empty.

(source)

I spent the majority of my life as an obese girl. Thankfully, I had a close group of friends and was well- liked by everyone, but that didn’t change the fact that I never had a boyfriend, was never asked to a school dance, and always dreaded being in front of the classroom for fear of being teased.

 

Me just before my senior year of high school

The majority of my negative memories and feelings involve gym class and the physical fitness tests that we had to complete each quarter. Part of the test included a one-mile run. I would always try to find an excuse to postpone it so that I could make it up and run it alone as opposed to running it with the whole class. Unfortunately, the teachers were REALLY good at keeping it a secret and we never knew about it until class time. I always finished last, but at least I finished. I never won the award for the most athletic or the fastest, but I always won the award for the most enthusiastic. I embraced that award and still do because I know that quality is what has made me who I am today.

In January 2010, I decided to change my life and lost 112 pounds. No fad diets were involved. In fact, no diet at all was involved. I simply ate healthy and exercised. I follow a 90/10 rule: eat healthy 90% of the time, and allow yourself some flexibility the rest of the time. This has truly been my key to success because I never feel deprived, restricted, or punished.

Exercise is no longer a fear of mine, as it used to be. Instead, it’s something I love doing and I embrace the challenge each and every day.

So in June, I decided it was time to face my fears and signed up for my first 5K. I didn’t train for it. I just decided two days prior to the race that it was time to prove that I could do it. Anyone who has lost weight can attest to the fact that seeing yourself as a “new” person is really difficult. Part of me still believed that I wasn’t strong enough or fit enough to do it. But I spent my entire life believing that I couldn’t do things and let my weight stand in the way of so many experiences and opportunities. I’m not the same girl and it was time to prove it to myself.

 
On the day of the race, I felt extremely nervous and almost backed out. What if I wouldn’t be able to finish? What if I finished last? I then reminded myself that it really didn’t matter. Do the best you can and you really can’t feel badly about anything. When the whistle blew and the race began, I felt invincible. I knew I wouldn’t finish first, but I was determined to run the whole race. When I passed the 2 mile mark, I felt so unbelievably proud. And when I saw the “Finish” line, I never felt more proud of myself.

 

Mission accomplished!

I suddenly realized that I blew the gym class fitness test out of the water that morning and it felt amazing! There was nothing to fear anymore.

Losing weight helped me gain control of my life. I now have the confidence and self-esteem to try new things and challenge myself. That little voice is still in the back of my head at times, trying to convince me that I can’t do something. But I’m strong enough to ignore it and instead choose to believe that I can.

I’ve learned to love myself. And you know what? I’ve learned to love who I used to be, too. Yes, I wish some things in my life could have been different, but I am who I am now because of who I used to be. You can spend time wishing your life had been different, or wishing you looked a different way. Or, you can focus on something about yourself that is absolutely incredible, and use it to propel your life forward in a positive direction. Give yourself an award and embrace it. I'm sticking with "most enthusiastic".

It certainly has taken me far. 

• What award would you give yourself?