Don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a new workout top and capris from 4all by jofit! Ends tonight!

Normally on Wednesday nights we have our small group at church. Well, last night we ended up having to cancel because very few of us could make it. It felt like back in college when I would get the announcement that class had been cancelled. Suddenly, a whole slew of options to have some fun and relaxation came pouring in. Although I chose to spend my time a little differently than I did those days. No getting started on the pre-party earlier here.

Old school flashback…

Eeeep! I don’t even know that girl anymore. (I’m on the far right…)

I feel much better with how my sudden downtime went last night.

First up, I filled my time with even more play with the kids. After already feeling so much less pressure on myself and having the time to do what matters most, I couldn’t wait to soak up even more of that feeling.

We played Makenzie’s very first board game…

…then hit up the library for some new books.

I love this child’s love of books! I think that is why Belle is her favorite princess.

Of course that meant I had to read a bajillion books when we got home from the library. Although reading about surfing pigs or moons falling from the sky didn’t keep me from reading my own book.

I cracked open Heaven Is For Real (part of the gift exchange from Chelsey) for the last 30 minutes of the kids’ naps earlier in the afternoon. It had me hooked so after the kids went to bed, I immediately grabbed the book to read more.

I even welcomed the fact we had to scrounge up dinner in a fend-for-yourself fashion. I poured a bowl of leftover tortellini soup and read my book cozily over the spicy soup.

Yep. It was that good that even dinner took second place. And I finished it over the next 2 hours. Wow. What a good story. It made me sit in amazement. I wish I could talk to the kid!

As wonderful as it felt to have some extra down time when I needed it most, I still missed getting the chance to meet up with friends for support and discussion. Especially since we have had so many great topics come our way recently. Like this one that I simply must share:

Success vs Achievement

One of the biggest things that struck me in the group study we have been sharing recently is the need to not only use our gifts, but to use them wisely. It can be really easy for things like pride or a desire for recognition to get in the way. I know I can relate!

I know the passions I have and the feedback I receive affirm many of what I believe as my strengths. Even take blogging for an example. It can reflect some of my strengths in  connecting with and encouraging others, but, as I recently shared, I can easily let it overtake my happiness and other important parts of life if I’m not aware.

I loved this simple definition I found in one of my devotionals:

I think that about sums it up perfectly. I want to become the best version of my ENTIRE self. I don’t want to work on being “successful”. I want to work on being the best me I can be. And trust that will be more than enough.

• What is the last thing that sucked you in and you couldn't step away?
• How would you differentiate success or achievement?

Hello, friends! I think it’s time we had a little heart to heart.

I mentioned earlier that I have not been feeling too well. Not only have I felt like my body is fighting off illness and that all I want to do is sleep for 24 hours straight, but I have also felt on the verge of an anxiety attack and like something isn’t quite right.

Yesterday afternoon, Peter & I seriously discussed me quitting the blog.

When I have a passion for something, I go all out. You may have noticed that. You may also have noticed that I have a lot of passions.

I have a passion for my faith.

I have a passion for my family.

I have a passion for a healthy lifestyle.

I have a passion for sharing my story and blogging.

Most of the time, I can give 100% to each of those things without hesitation. Most of the time, I can juggle the responsibilities that come with each seamlessly. Most of the time, I have no problem and manage it all with a smile on my face.

Then, I noticed something. I give and give and give to each of those passions. Nothing brings me down for awhile. But inevitably, I crash and burn.

Peter and I took a closer look at this cycle and, it appears, about once every 3-4 weeks I reach that threshold and go from one extreme to the other. From having it all sorted out to barely feeling like I can keep my head above water. The water being the tears that drop from my eyes at nary a moment’s notice.

Whenever I reach this point, I doubt myself as a mother. Whenever I reach this point, a lot of my healthy habits break down – either with stress eating or feeling too exhausted to workout. Whenever I reach this point, I get angry with myself and lose patience with others. This can not and will not go on.

A lot of topics in my devotional readings, study groups at church, and even just in my heart during prayer, have really forced me to wonder about my own passions.

When looking at my passions, it’s obvious that 3 of the 4 are non-negotiable parts of my life. That left me negotiating the blog.

After much thought, I can’t deny any of those passions of mine. They each bring something to my life which I cannot give up on. So, I won’t. Yes, I still plan to blog. I simply have to analyze where I spend my time on the work and adjust as necessary – likely a lot of the behind the scenes and side work associated with it.

But that isn’t even the main point of this post.

This post is NOT another reflection on my blogging habits or a plea for feedback on what to do. It is not asking for comments to assure me to keep blogging.

If anything, this post is a plea from me to you. A plea to take a close look at your life. Really take the time to consider your goals. Pay attention to how you spend your time. Determine if you ever feel you don’t have enough to give to the things that matter most. This post is not a plea for my benefit. It is a plea for yours. A plea to live the life that matches your values.