I do not regret a single thing from my past. I do not continue to hold grudges against those who hurt me. I do not wallow that I wasted years of my life in sadness and treating myself poorly. I do not resent the fact that competing in a fitness competition was not for me and screwed with my body. I do not feel guilty knowing I will not return to teaching because I discovered it is not my true passion. Those scenarios all pushed me out of my comfort zone and forced me to grow stronger and change my life.

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We have to believe that we have the strength to face difficult situations. The most rewarding moments in our lives often come with some growth and change. Just as our muscles will not strengthen without some physical challenge, our lives will not have room to grow without having to push ourselves past emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual discomforts from time to time. Below are just a few of innumerable examples.

• Diet: Giving up old eating habits we are comfortable with in order to better our health.
• Exercise Goals: Pushing through tough workouts to cross that race line, achieve those push-ups, improve stamina, etc.
• Life Trials: Learn things about yourself through those emotionally trying times. Find ways to love and support others, develop new coping skills, etc.
• A New Relationship: Breaking down walls to open up. Putting someone else before yourself.
• Following A Passion: Changing your work, friends, lifestyle to do something you love.

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I don’t think I would fully experience life if I could just breeze easily through. I have goals and desires so I can pursue my best life. I know they won’t come easy, but that is what makes them so great. As long as they tie in with my purpose and those things valuable to me, I know pushing myself towards them will help fulfill me in many ways.

After all, how great does it feel to know you accomplished something? The greater the challenge, the sweeter the victory. Sometimes simply surviving something is an inspiring victory in itself. We need not forget those challenges we have overcome and allow them to empower us today. We must embrace new trials as a way to achieve a higher quality of life in the long run. They shape us into even greater people than we already are.

What challenges have you overcome? What goals have you achieved? Let them empower you today!

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During the worst of my binge eating, I had entered into a vicious cycle of binge, guilt, punishment by restriction, starve and binge again. Even before the binging began, I had picked up pretty brutal treatment of my body in putting too much stress on it during workouts and not allowing for rest. I claimed to use it as a stress relief, but in reality I felt poorly about myself and took out those frustrations by spending hours in the gym. Even now, those days where I feel like I’m not being a good enough mom, wife, friend, blogger, or supporter of my family, I start to unravel at the seams and turn to fat talk and putting myself down. Stress does that to me as well.

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None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes, we let those mistakes control us and hinder caring for ourselves. My senior year of college I got involved in some pretty bad behavior. I lost respect for myself. Even though I knew in my heart my actions weren’t fruitful, I continued down that path because I didn’t believe I could change and never forgave myself. At the very start of Peter & I dating, I almost sabotaged everything by believing he couldn’t love me for my past. My lack of forgiveness almost put up my old walls and boundaries to shut him out. When I shared my past, I took a defensive stance. I likely even said "now you know this about me, so go ahead and leave me”. His response took the tune of “God forgives you for all of that. I don’t care about any of it. It’s not you now and you should forgive yourself too.”

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I don’t know why I had never thought of forgiving myself before then. Perhaps because I had spent so much energy trying to forgive and get past what others had done to me? Who knows. Yet, having the power to tell myself that “it’s okay…it’s in the past…you can move forward and change for the better now” changed everything. We have no reason to punish ourselves. Consequences for our actions and decisions will always exist, but we are not the ones to determine them and harm ourselves. If something screws up one day, don’t feel the need to drown yourself in negativity. Recognize what could change and work to do your best to improve the situation from that moment forward, without punishment. Dwelling on the past and our weaknesses does absolutely nothing for our lives. If I had never forgiven myself, I doubt my life would have near as much hope and happiness as it does now.

Is there anything you have trouble letting go? Are there any ways you try to “punish” yourself? Restricting food, avoiding relationships, and constantly feeding myself a poor self image are the three I have used and still feel drawn to using when I don’t allow myself to move past disappointing moments.