Please don’t take what I’m about to say in a depressing manner. We only have one shot at life. One. Then we die and can no longer be a part of this world.

That is the cold, hard truth. We like to pretend we can avoid it or that second chances abound. When it boils down to it, though, they don’t. Second chances don’t truly exist because we can never go back to reclaim any lost time or change the past. We can only strive to make the best decisions from this moment forward.

How exactly does this fit in with self love? Well, if we want to live the most fulfilling and satisfied lives as possible we need to love ourselves. We can waste our lives away with worry, regret, doubt, and negativity. We can spend too much time concerned with trivial matters of what size pants we wear or what other people think of our hopes and dreams. Instead of taking the reins and making life the best possible, we float along lost and broken.

Each day we choose what to focus our energy on – relationships that mean the most to us, how we look in the mirror, working hard at a personal goal, the fight we had with a friend, and on and on. We decide whether to end our days feeling like we experienced life or like it slipped by. I always try to keep the perspective that at the end of my life I won’t care about how flat my stomach was or awards I received. I will care if I lived with joy and surrounded myself with love.

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Fortunately, I don’t know when the end of my life will come. And that means I have to start making my life something I’m happy with right now. Why waste a single moment? We need to keep what truly provides a fulfilling life in perspective. Live that way today.

What can you focus on today so you end your day knowing you cultivated your best life? What should you ignore that tries to rob you of joy?

“Although time seems to fly by, it never travels faster than one day at a time. Each day is a new opportunity to live your life to the fullest.” – Steve Maraboli

Hello to my new readers! So great to have you! Be sure to say hello so I can come visit you too. 🙂

For those newer to FFF, I hope you enjoy the weekly installment of my Self-Love series. Each Sunday, I re-post one of the topics discussed during the 30 Days of Self-Love movement I hosted last year. This week – Stopping “Fat Talk”. Enjoy!

Today I want to emphasize exactly how I feel about this topic. STOP. IT. NOW!!!! Stop what? Putting yourself down or “fat talk” as this dialogue has been coined.

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We all know about fat talk. Even if you have never heard the term, you have experienced it. It lies in that inner dialogue of self-doubt that puts down our image and denies us of our true beauty. I actually like to think of it as “self-doubt talk” because I believe it plays in more than physical appearance. It comes when we commiserate with other women about how “this dress makes me look fat” or “gosh, I’m so stupid to think the boss would like my idea”. Maybe it even hides behind those times we refuse to accept compliments.

I don’t even begin to think we can fully stop such negative thoughts. They will always find a way to creep back in. We need to become more aware of them and work hard to stop them in their tracks. I have more confidence than ever in who I am, my ability to care for myself, that I have much to offer others, and that I am in fact beautiful. Yet, I still face fat talk more often than I care to admit. Maybe even to the likes of once a day. The difference is I can stop it in its tracks.

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What are some steps I take to stop the “self-doubt” talk when it begins?

• Remember how the part you criticize works for you.
• Replace with a positive.
• Be realistic.
• Reaffirm yourself. Think outside the physical quality or whatever you are tearing down and consider your strengths.
• Tell someone who you trust will support you and not turn it into a game of “who has it worse”.

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One last thing – be aware of when others participate in fat talk. Don’t allow them to! It makes it easier for you to participate as well. As women, we should be lifting each other up instead of standing by while we tear our own selves apart. Simply say “Stop. You’re smarter than to put yourself down like that”. I think this works best because you’re not handing out a compliment to reaffirm the behavior. Also, you’re still showing you think highly of the person and want what is best for them.

What do you do to stop fat talk? From yourself or from others?