While today didn't start off the best (something showed up that I was hoping not to see), I quickly turned it around and decided to make it more positive. There was no point in being down about it because I trust God's timing and hate wasting energy on negativity. I've done that too much before. One thing I've thought about recently is how, after competing in early November, negative thinking was the name of my game. I went through about a month of constantly feeling down on myself because of the weight I had to put back on after the show.  Hello?! It was for my health because you are not at a healthy weight/bodyfat with competing in figure. Yet I still had problems with it. I was always down on myself, told myself I felt gross, moody, and just a true Debbie Downer. And for what? It only made things worse. And I had absolutely no reason to be so negative about myself and my body. Since then, I take pride in all that is me and my body. So I figured I would share a few things I love about me and my body 🙂 In a non-conceited way, of course 😉

1. The most important thing I appreciate about my body, is that when it is at a healthy weight it will bear beautiful children for me. It has already carried one precious gem for me and I have no doubt it will carry another. 🙂
2. It can move. I am blessed with the ability to walk, run, lift weights, participate in fitness classes, spin around with my daughter, jump on a playground with her, among many many other things that I would be otherwise unable to do without a physically capable body.
3. It is pretty strong. I enjoy lifting weights and watching my strength increase. Even though I haven't been focusing on pushing myself too much right now, I know my body is capable of tossing around pretty decent weight in the gym. It amazes me to see that progress and how my body adapts.
4. It houses my mind. I love to read (as you well know) and I love to learn and grow, particularly in things related to my faith but in general too. I think I'm a pretty sharp lady, despite my many blonde moments, and I am proud of my intellect.
5. I have a big heart. I love to love. No matter how many times I've been burned, I will still care for a person. And nothing compares to the unconditional love I can share for close friends and my beloved family.
6. I think I have nice boobs. 🙂 C'mon. I had to have a fun one in there! Haha!
7. I love that I can see the good where others would often only see the bad.
8. I love how I am so in tune with my body and what it needs and recognizing how to accommodate it.
9. I love that I am not afraid of carbs! I used to be way back when and how ridiculous was that?!

Those are just some things that came to me while writing this post. What do you love about yourself and your body?

Now for a book review! 🙂

Deep End of the Ocean by Jaquelyn Mitchard

Many of you will think this sounds familiar because of this...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWa7nDm9Wdg]

I saw the movie so long ago that it fortunately didn't affect my reading of the book. I remembered bits and pieces from the movie as I read, but not enough to where I already knew what was going to happen. That's important to me. I hate knowing the outcome of a book before I read it. But ironically enough, I despise more when movies change the books. Like this one did....

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP4NxUFgFrs]

I was SO disappointed with that movie! They absolutely ruined the book!! But back to my current book review...

The Deep End of the Ocean is about a family with a three year old boy who goes missing from a crowded hotel lobby. He is never found, dead or alive....until almost ten years later when he unexpectedly and accidentally reenters their lives. It was really enjoyable. Maybe being a mother I could really relate to the main character, Beth, and all her neuroticness after her son's disappearance. The story was really strong and just gripping. The decision of what is right versus what is wrong when her son returns is so disheartening. It kind of reminded me of Jodi Picoult's books where an issue that you would think has answers that are black and white and clear as day really don't. It's interesting to ponder the many intricacies that go into what is right for a family and how decisions have strong repercussions for everyone involved. And how it is sometimes impossible to fix or stop or change. I would recommend it. 🙂

Once again, time for me to get going to tutoring! Fun fun fun. At least it's easy money. And I already had my fun today with a Group Kick class followed by coloring Dora with the M girl. 🙂

After posting yesterday afternoon, the hubs and I headed out to the gym for a workout. I did my usual 10 minute elliptical warm-up, followed by a quick full body workout, and then ending with a 20 minute treadmill incline walk. This workout has been working great for me recently because it is a perfect balance of getting a quality workout in without overdoing it. And for the most part I am perfectly satisfied with it and excited that this is how I am working in the gym right now because it accommodates what I am working towards these days. But there are times (very RARE times these days) that I sill find myself wanting MORE. Not necessarily more as in longer cardio or more exercises or more days of training. But more as in feeling like I really kicked my butt when I leave.

As a lot of you were able to figure from yesterday's post, my current goals and hopes do not really coincide with pushing my body hard. I completely embrace that. Some days, however, something will happen that will make it very hard for me. A big part of who I am is related to my passion for fitness and accomplishing things in that realm of my life. No, it doesn't wholly define me by any means, but it is something I take pride in and something I like having a goal in, even just personal improvement goals like increasing the weight on exercises, speed of a run, number of pushups/pullups, etc. I get pleasure and fulfillment out of challenging myself in the gym.

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So, yesterday while doing my workout, I saw another really fit and strong girl working out. I was very happy to see a woman representing strength in the gym and the determination to push herself . Then, I started wishing I could be doing those things. I miss feeling like someone that inspired others with my training. I miss feeling extremely accomplished for achieving another personal goal in my workout, leaving the gym feeling strong and like a true athlete. I miss the adrenaline of a GREAT workout, testing my limits and making it through something really difficult. It was a great feeling.

These days, I try to stay comfortable in my workouts and not push it too much. And normally I am very happy with that. I know there is a greater purpose and that it is best for my health. Besides, going balls to the wall every workout isn't healthy anyways...our bodies need different loads of training and adequate rest. It still doesn't negate the fact that I have my down moments where I long to go hard or go home. Last night just happened to be one of those times. It is an adjustment, but I do know that (hopefully) soon it will be well worth it. Plus, today it has already passed and I had a very very fun time keeping things moderate at the Group Kick class this morning. 🙂 So, please don't think I'm mental and seriously struggling all the time or anything of that nature. I just wanted to express that sometimes things are difficult to adjust to and it takes time to completely accept changes that you know are for the best. 😉

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• Have you ever had to take a step back from one of your passions? How did it make you feel?
• Do you always push yourself super hard in your workouts or do you vary your intensities? Or do you do like I currently am doing and just take a more leisurely approach to your workouts (not ineffective but more laid-back)?

I will announce the Giveaway Winner tonight!!! 🙂 And while you're in the Giveaway mood - check out two more - Kristin from Iowa Girl Eats and Heather from Health Happiness & Hope!