Barbie: Yes Or No?
Posted: September 21, 2011 at 7:06 pmMotherhood carries a lot of pressure. I want to raise my children to respect and love others; to reflect kindness and goodness; to believe in themselves and go after their dreams; and many, many, many more things. I want my children to live a full life and know their love and worth. As a woman who previously battled eating struggles and a very poor self-image, I feel especially in tune to how I raise Makenzie. I would do anything I could to have her not doubt her worth and beauty as a person. I would give up everything to have her keep a healthy relationship with her body and food. I have extra sensitivity to all those things so, with good reason, I thought would shelter my little M as much as possible.
Some recent discussion has popped up on some of my favorite blogs recently about the affects things like calling little girls “cute and pretty” as a main form of compliment and the effects of all things Barbie and Princess. Back in the day, I would have said “screw all things pink” and scoffed at perpetuating the stereotypes.
Then….
I somehow ended up with the girliest of girly girls to ever exist.
When I picked Makenzie up from preschool today she promptly informed me that she wants a Belle party for her birthday.
Say what now?! Are all rising three year olds this decisive on their party themes? Girlfriend loves herself some princess action.
She also suddenly loves Barbie.
Peter brought this life-sized Barbie creature home for Makenzie. It was a "gift” from someone he works with who decided to let M have it instead of donating it. I was just about to tell Peter to stash the thing away for us to donate…until Makenzie came downstairs from her nap and her eyes lit up like she had won the biggest jackpot to ever exist.
She squeals with delight should we find any sort of Disney Princess, Barbie, Pinkilicious, My Little Pony, or Fancy Nancy book when we visit the library. She begs to watch Belle or Ariel. She wants to be “A princess! A princess! A princess!” for Halloween. I cannot peel the girl out of a tutu when we’re at home. She fights me asking her to wear pants because she wants to wear her purple polka-dotted dress so she can wear a purple bow. She gets excited when I bring home new clothes for her and immediately wants to try them all on because they are “so pretty!”.
And you know what? Instead of saying “screw pink” (or purple for that matter), I am going to say “screw preconceived notions” and let my little girl be a little girl just how she likes.
That won’t stop me from complimenting her on her kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, and cheerful attitude above all else. That won’t stop me from considering how I talk to and look at myself because I know she pays critical attention. That won’t stop me from telling her she is beautiful, just as everyone is, because God crafter her with a plan.
Instead of worrying about what messages her toys send to her, I will focus on the messages I send to her as her because I’m there as her mother. And trust that the messages from her mom will trump Barbie’s freakishly inhuman waist line. Seriously, though…Barbie is frickin’ creepy!
- What are your thoughts on little girls getting all into princesses, Barbies, and other such toys? You certainly don’t have to agree with me!
- What things impacted your self image the most when growing up?
Tags: body image, makenzie, motherhood
I loved playing with Barbies when I was a little girll..probably until I was about 10 years old! Of all the things that can contribute to body image issues, I think this was very very low for me.
Wow love this post Tina and your honesty in it all, and I love the way you’re approaching it. What you described is actually one of the reasons I’m terrified of ever having a girl – I would never want my baby girl to grow up to feel the way I did about myself. When I was young I definitely remember wanting to be Belle and loved all things princessy and Barbies. But I think what effected me more, wasn’t so much the Barbie’s and Princesses, it was more all the air brushed images I saw in magazines that started that “comparison trap.” In the end, I think how you’re approaching it is inspiring and admirable and my approach would be similar as well 🙂
I agree with you completely! Having a two year old who is obsessed with dressing up and playing with dolls, I say let them enjoy this part of their life 🙂
You know, I have a 2 year old boy and he loves cars and dinosaurs and (gulp) guns. He is with me (a girly girl if there ever was one) every day so he’s certainly not learning to like these things from me. I think kids gravitate toward certain things and, as long as they’re not physically or spiritually harmful, I roll with it. I’ve tried giving him gender neutral or even “girl” toys and he ends up running them over with cars or throwing them against the wall. He is who he is. Oh, and Barbies had very little to do with my self image…it never even dawned on me that my body should be like hers.
I have mixed feelings! As an adult who has gone through my own self-esteem struggles and body loathing I don’t want to give my future kids body issues! I want them to feel comfortable no matter what they look like.
At the same time, I played with Barbies my whole childhood. And honestly? I don’t remember ever feeling like I was comparing my body to Barbie’s. It just wasn’t on my radar. It wasn’t until later, when I went to Middle School that I was suddenly enthralled in body image stuff. And that came from REAL girls in my school, not dolls….
Yea. I definitely think other girls as M gets older will have WAY more of an impact. I dread those years.
I think you’re on the right track. You’ve not *chosen* to emphasize Barbie, pink, and all things Pretty Pretty Princess; you’re instead following your daughter’s lead regarding her interests. Not to say that 3-year-olds have necessarily the best taste, but as her mother YOU are going to guide her self-image more than any plastic freak of a doll would.
Naturally I had two boys. I, who bought myself an American Girl doll at the ripe old age of 41, because my parents thought I was “too old” when they came out. Silly, silly parents! Heh 🙂
Sometimes I think Barbie gets a bad rap. Is it the best toy out there for a little girl? Definitely not. It portrays female stereotypes to the tee. But I don’t think she’s necessarily any worse than some of the other toys out there. I don’t think little girls look at her and want to have a waist that size or think they’re substandard because they look different.
If a little girl who plays with Barbies is talking about dieting or losing weight… it might not be the Barbies. It might be other people around her like parents and older siblings, and it’s a lot easier for people to blame it on Barbie than think about their own behaviors and how it might affect a child.
Thinking back, Barbie was just another of my many toys. I don’t think it influenced my disordered eating or body image issues. But family members dieting, or telling me I had to “watch what I eat” because “when you’re short, even a pound shows!”… yeah, that might’ve had a lot more to do with it.
Ohh…what an interesting viewpoint. Scapegoat Barbie. Makes perfect sense!
Girls will be girls! I feel the biggest influence on me in my life was my friends and family. I could play with barbie all day long (and I was REALLY into Barbie), but there is no way I wanted to LOOK like her. My toys didn’t shape how I thought about myself, the things people said about me and the way I perceived what they said to me made the difference (both positive and negative). I have the same worry raising a little girl of my own. I think one of the most important things we can teach them is that they are beautiful inside and out, and they need to try to surround themselves with positivity (like positive parents). Great Post!
I grew up playing with Barbies and I loved them. Looking back I never once though “oh I want a body like barbie” or “Why can’t I be more like barbie.” I think the whole notion that dolls and barbies are bad for girls self esteem is purely a notion made up by adults not the children playing with them. Yes, I grew up with an unhealthy body image but I blame that more on developing early and being harassed for it. I also think my mothers poor body image influenced how I view myself.
Pre kids I could have argued nurture versus nature. Then I had a boy. Now I fully believe in nature. My son loves all thing stereoscopically boy; trucks, cars, and dirt. On the other hand my SIL tried hard to stray my nieces away from girly things early on. Now they are the typical princess obsessed little girls. All they draw are princesses. All they watch are princess movies and so forth.
It’s so funny how those stereotypes happen. Lord knows I’m not a girly girl and she didn’t get her princess obsessed ways from me. LOL
My mom was pretty strict about not letting me play with Barbies — although my brother didn’t get GI Joes, either. Of course, I was super jealous of all of my friends that did get to play with them. And when I received one for my birthday (Peaches and Cream … swoon … ) I got to keep it!
great post! i’ve been anxiously awaiting this one all day since i saw your tweet earlier. i’m not a mom yet, but this is a topic i’ve thought about a lot. i’ve made it well known to anyone with ears that i hope i have all boys when i’m finally having children and i have a feeling God might give me just the opposite 🙂
i’ve paid a lot more attention to this in the last year or so working with the youth population that i do [im a social worker] and seeing how much girls rely on their appearance to help them understand their worth. it is so heartbreaking. the boys i work with are often so quick to tell me their strengths “i’m THE BEST football player” “ALL the girls want to date me” and usually they’re exaggerating juuust a bit 😉 whereas the girls are quicker to point out their faults or imperfections. it’s so sad!
i think that girls can play with dolls as be as girly as they darn well please, as long as they are exposed to the more important things in life and the more important characteristics they possess. you send your daughter a great message as a role model just by being you! i’m not sure if you have the christian radio station klove in atlanta, but recently i was listening and they discussed this topic. the one lady who called in said that while she allows princesses and compliments on appearance, she just doesn’t allow it to be the only thing. she often talks about really strong women in the bible [ruth & esther!] as role models for her daughter, so she will be able to make the connection between the examples written about and spoken in the Bible and her own young life. i really enjoyed that perspective and thought it was interesting!
another random note, but a long time ago i heard that if Barbie was a human and her body was adapted to be “life-size” she’d have to walk on all fours because she is so skinny that she wouldn’t be able to even hold her own body upright. it’s sad that’s what is such a big example in girls lives today, but as long as they have strong female role models in their lives, such as you, i think the next generation will turn out just fine!
I remember hearing about Barbie as life-size before and how distorted her body is. Creeps me out. LOL
And we don’t have that station but we have another christian radio station which is basically all I listen to on the radio. I think I remember them talking about this now too. I love what the woman brought up with strong role models in your show. That is great!
I think you have it right, Tina. You didn’t force girly toys down her throat, that’s just what she picked up on. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying girly things. I also agree with what others have said, what her family members say about their body image/dieting has a lot more to do with how she’s going to think than Barbie would, in my opinion at least.
When I think back to my childhood, Barbies were one of my favorite past times. I guess I never really noticed the unproportional bodies or unrealistic features but rather I played with them in light of making a home and having a little Barbie “family” with the Ken doll and little baby Barbies.
I also played with them up until 9th grade and loved every minute of creating stories and acting them out with the dolls. I think Barbie is a great toy when used in the right light. The sexy, diva-ish Barbies on the other hand, are another can of worms…
i used to play with barbie and watch princess movies and I don’t think that I ever really wanted to look like them. With Barbie, i was more intrigued by the fact that you could make her do a split like I did in ballet 🙂 I always just played with the hair and loved the different clothes… typical girl!
I loved playing with Barbies. I’m with Shanna on this one. If it did make a difference, it was on the low end of the spectrum. I think the media was (and still is) a biggie, in addition to the regular peer pressure faced by almost all children/teens. My mom’s dieting also played a part. She was always gaining and losing weight.
Excellent post! I think we should let kids be kids, just like boys will want cars, legos and all things machine related, girls will want barbies and princess related stuff and really we should let them be! A child deserves it! I can understand if people choose to not pamper their girls with cutesy things and complementing on their looks, but don’t you think that attitude will create a whole different set of feelings when they grow up.They may say, I never got that, or I was never the princess of the family.
To me all that mattered when I was growing up, was what my parents thought of me. They wanted me to learn good values be good at my studies (which is every kids job) and that is it. The realization to look pretty or lose a couple of pounds came from within and they supported that too.
After that long verbal vomit, just one thing to say…do what you are doing for your kids. It is not everyday that she’ll squeal when she looks at her barbie or dance around in her tutus!
Okay first of all, Makenzie is such an adorable little girl! I would babysit anytime! Also, I think it’s great that she loves barbies and princesses and girly things. It would also be great if she loved toy cars and legos. I think the important thing in a child’s life are definitely the messages they receive from their parents (or whomever is raising them) both verbally and non-verbally.
I honestly don’t think that certain toys and liking princesses is going to give a girl distorted ideas about their bodies and beauty- I think the media has a larger impact on that!
Let your little girl like what she wants to like as long as it is not a really bad thing. With your guidance as a mom she will be just fine. By the way I was not a girly girl and neither was my daughter. She never liked Barbies, My Little Pony was the ticket!
I think it is all about balance. While I cannot say I’ll never allow a Barbie into my home, I will certainly monitor the kinds of Barbies that come into my home. I’ve noticed that Barbie is a little more… um… street walker-esque than she was when we were growing up. Everything is teeny tiny shirts, midriff-baring shirts, and tall boots. Barbies like that won’t be hanging out in my house, for sure.
While one Barbie or Disney princess won’t give a girl negative body image, I believe it’s the beginnings of media telling girls how they are supposed to be. Take the Disney princesses, for example. What do they actually DO? Ariel wins over her “man” without even talking, for Pete’s sake. (I will admit that Belle is my favorite, though. I find her to be bookish and brave.) The goal in these movies is always love and happily ever after. I love my husband, and I love being in love with him. But he loves me because I’m a whole person, not a girl who just wants to be in love.
Kids are marketed to in a way we weren’t when we were little. Cinderella grapes. Shrek onions. It’s a little crazy, if you ask me. I read a few books on this subject that were incredibly eye-opening about the effects of media, marketing, and “girly-girl” culture on little girls. My favorites were “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” by Peggy Ornstein, and “Good Girls Don’t Get Fat” by Dr. Robyn Silverman. Melissa Wardy of Pigtail Pals has an excellent blog that discusses this topic as well.
That said, I also don’t have children yet and I know things change completely when you have them! I may be singing a different tune. 😉
Honestly, I can understand both sides of this but I don’t have a clue what I will do. One of my nieces is the ultimate girly girl — everything is Disney princesses and she loves to wear high heels and put on makeup and all that. My other niece is the total opposite: nose in a book always, could care less about dolls, is more tom boyish. Their mothers both let them be who they are, which I think is wonderful!
And if M is a girly girl then I’m glad you are letting her be who she is!
We really struggle with this one too. Our daughter is 4. We started out with a NO policy to most of the things you mentioned. We’ve been infiltrated by most of them. We’ve managed to avoid Barbie. I still can’t go there. I don’t think she’s good for anything. And we won’t do Bratz.
The closest we’ve come was getting her Disney Fairies for Christmas. They’re very like Barbies in size and fun, but their bodies are more like young girls. They have under pants and very small busts.
We tried to stay away from anything “branded”. We tried to give her only wood or handmade toys, natural fibers…
Are you laughing out loud?
I do thnk it’s most important how you, as mom, model behaviour. I’m working on losing a lot of weight, but what my daugher knows and talks about is how we need to exercise for energy and we eat fruit, vegetables and protein because they are healthy.
Good luck to us all!!
Motherhood – so much to consider. And I think the way you are modeling exercise/eating is AWESOME.
I think it’s alright to let your kid be who she wants to be, but clearly there are external influences that make her want to be a princess. Girls aren’t born knowing that princesses should be idealized, they learn it, and usually not even from their parents.
Kids are so strongly marketed to these days, especially the whole “disney princesses” that girls are being bombarded with.
While you can’t hide your kids from society and marketing, you can do exactly what you are doing and teach her good values
When I was little, I could never understand why one of my grandmas thoroughly refused to get me Barbies for my birthday or Christmas. I wanted Barbies because they were fun to play with and I saw them advertised on TV (which, let’s be serious, is where nearly all of my birthday/Christmas requests got their inspiration). I truly don’t think Barbie had anything to do with any sort of body issues I’ve ever had, however. She was a doll to me–a doll that somehow never seemed as cool in my hands as on the TV screen because I could never make her move that well. Maybe I got some sort of message about beauty pounded into my head by playing with Barbies, but honestly, I think that’s giving Mattel a little too much credit. Kids are impressionable, but they’re not *that* impressionable. I think Barbies would’ve caused a lot more trouble for me around age 10 or 11 than they did at age 6, you know? I think it’s honestly probably healthier to let your kids have what they want (within reason, obviously) than to always say no no no no no. I feel like that’s setting them up for more problems than compromising on things we as “grown ups” have been taught to believe are evil for young minds.
Oh, Barbie. My sister did a presentation with a couple other girls a few years ago about how Barbie can negatively influence little girls. But we played with Barbies and we turned out okay, I think. 😛
My cousins’ girls are all pretty girly–love dresses and pink and princesses. I think it’s kind of cute… but I kind of hope their parents take the same approach you do, reminding them of their beauty and all of that. 🙂
I completely agree. I think to an extent, for most toddlers, it’s genetically bred into the female gender to love girly things but I think that sources like Barbie and princesses, when overemphasized in a child’s life, can breed negativity. Especially since now days barbies are dressed so provocative and scandalously! It’s insane… Girls grow up thinking it’s appropriate and normal.
When I was growing up I remember constantly being commeted on being so skinny. I really was a pretty scrawny kid. But people stated their comments with such envy. As if they wish it were that easy for them–these were women I looked up to, too! (like 20s and 30s). When people made comments with envy in their voice, it made me feel special. As if I were or had something they desired. Looking back I know this subconsciously had something to do with my past struggles. In consequence, my confidence was deeply rooted in my appearance.
Great post…it’s something I think of often. I think that matt and I have done the best we can with our 7 year old. I’m not gonna beat around the bush. My girl is gorgeous. 😉 BUT, she has been told this since day 1 from people we know and strangers on the street. We started saying ( from about 6 months old) when she would get a compliment ” she is smart too”. We even taught her to say it. We tell her all the time how bright and intelligent she etc. Amara is waay into barbies and princesses. I tried to shelter her from that….I really did. I think mainly because I was not into it when I was her age ( major tom boy…with 2 older brothers). I finally accepted it though…and let her be who she is. We do only allow her extensive barbie collection to stay at her grandparents though..she has about 3 at our house! 🙂 She has a good balance of all things girly and then the bug collection..she also hunts and fishes with her dad!
Amara is gorgeous! I like how you taught her to say “smart too”. I need to do that with M. Everywhere we go people talk about how “cute” and “pretty” she is!
It’s funny how kids gravitate to gender stereotypical toys so early. I believe that children at this age don’t have a filter yet and that if they really like something, they can’t hide it. To deny them certain things to avoid stereotypes can have adverse effects.
I think you’re handling the situation exactly right. Let her have her indulgences and embrace her sense of self that she’s exhibiting through her clothes and toys selections. That and your emotional guidance will help her grow into the person she’s meant to be.
Let her be what she is instead of forcing one way or the other. I hated dressing up but loved Barbies. Instead of forcing me to wear a skirt or dress my Momma let me be. Now I love dresses and skirts…I wear them almost everyday.
I was a strange kid I guess. I loved Disney princesses, and I think I was every one of them for Halloween. But at the same time I hated barbies and pink. I was a really big tomboy always bruised and scraped from climbing trees.
But I like your approach. You can’t force kids into their likes and dislikes. My mom let me make most of my own decisions and offered me choices for things. But was stricter with things like instilling right vs wrong. There is no right and wrong when pink and princesses are involved.
I think you have a healthy outlook. I don’t think playing with Barbies had a negative effect on me at all. It’s sounds like you are approaching it logically.
P.S. Meghan’s 3rd bday party is Saturday–a princess party. Yep, she picked it.
My grandpa would take me to my ballet classes, and we would stop on the way there at McDonald’s to share a biscuit (it was mostly so he would be able to get his coffee). He (and my grandma) would also buy me Barbies and keep them at their place. I wasn’t allowed to eat McDonald’s or play with Barbies, and this was our secret from my mom.
I remember the day I told my mom that I wanted McDonald’s and my Barbies quite vividly. Now, I’m sure she had words with my grandpa and I’m sure she was upset, but I will forever remember it as the day she began letting me have McDonald’s every so often, and the day I got to bring my stash of Barbies home with me.
The point is that kids, for the most part, are going to have harmless childhood memories of basic things. It’s when adults throw themselves into the mix that things get complicated. Let kids be kids. Now, a parent who forces her daughter who likes army men to play with Barbies (or vice versa) may not be doing such a good job, but allowing your child to explore his or her interests with supervision but a lack of judgment is the best. 🙂
Oh, and when I was six, my parents actually bought me ice skating Barbie for Christmas. (Up until that point, they allowed me to play with Barbies but wouldn’t buy them, they came from my grandparents.) I still consider it one of my more major life victories.
i totally agree with other comments about barbie. i played with barbie a ton, and really don’t consider barbie to have shaped my body image ideas. barbie can be about so much more than just her body- relationships, fashion, creative stories, etc. i think it’s just important to let kids pursue their own interests and then relate life lessons there, not prohibit things.
I think it’s a bigger deal to suppress something from their lives – dolls, barbies, princesses — even food! I’d rather let my kids gravitate to what interests them. Sometimes they are drawn to the stereotypical stuff – but really they just enjoy playing.
I think the bigger deal should be letting kids be kids. Let’s not push them to grow up so fast. Let’s filter what they see on TV and what celebrities they look up to. And let’s just be the best role model we can be! (I’m pretty sure you’ve got that down!!)
Yes!!! You know I agreed with you before, but I have to emphasize it again. Let kids be kids!!!!
Barbies figure creeps me out too! Haha as kids me and my sisters were obsessed with her too 🙂
I agree with all of these comments. I LOVED Barbie. I played with Barbie for like 10 years straight. I had all the New Kids On The Block Barbies, AND the 90210 Barbies, and the Disney Princess Barbies, and you can bet they all dated.
I would still play with Barbie now if I could get away with it (actually, who am I kidding, I totally play with Barbie with my niece)
I never saw Barbie as someone who had the “perfect body”. I thought Barbie was beautiful, of course, but Barbie to me was a way to pretend, to make believe. I don’t think it ever negatively impacted the way I felt about myself or my body.
Despite my love of Barbies, I was a pretty crazy tomboy. They are just a toy used to express yourself. I never got what the big deal was. It’s not kids that are the problem. Kids don’t read into things the way adults think they do. But that is just my opinion…
You are a fab mother and M is absolutely gorgeous (and I am sure she is very smart too!) 🙂
Growing up, I LOVED Barbie! I was obsessed with her clothes and shoes and I was meticulous about never losing them! My mom did limit how many I had though… and maybe that helped. 🙂
BTW, Belle is my all time favorite Disney character. Tell little M that she has the best taste. 😉
She does look like Barbie! So cute.
Great post! While Barbie can send conflicting messages, I think a lot of it comes down to the parenting! It’s great to see how hands-on you are with your kids!
M would have been my favorite playmate and best friend! Barbie, Polly Pocket, My Little Pony, Ariel, Belle, Strawberry Shortcake and Rainbow Bright (okay, I’m aging myself…hello 1980’s!) were my heroines. I emulated them in every way I knew how, including a very bad hair dye attempt in Hawaiian Punch (no joke). However, while I’m sure I was fascinated by their “beauty,” I have no recollection of envying their bodies. I wanted their voices and their friends (who doesn’t want a Flounder sidekick?). 😉
I think it’s so important for kids be themselves during their early years. And I guess that means letting them play with the toys they find most entertaining and dressing like their favorite characters. The approach you’re taking with M seems healthy, and one that will instill confidence in her. She’ll most definitely going to know that she’s loved, and that’s the most important thing. 🙂
Quick story: I hated all dolls, including Barbies, because the plastic gave me headaches. That’s literally what I told my mother. High maintenance much??
I am thankful and happy that you are letting M be HERSELF. There’s no greater gift that you can give to her as a mother than allowing herself to feel comfortable expressing who she is and not feeling ashamed or wrong for it in any way.
Haha, I think my barbie games influenced my choices in men more than my own body image! I’m sure my “type” is almost identical to my favourite Ken toy… worrying…
Seriously though, like most other people have said, I think you’re doing the right thing – just letting her do what comes naturally. As long as you’re watching out for anything extreme, that’s far healthier than trying to shelter her from everything, in my opinion.
Plus, she seems like the independent kinda girl – guarantee she’ll be cutting all their hair off and dressing them up in crazy costumes, rather than worrying about them looking picture perfect, in no time!
Read the book Captivating! It is such a beautiful book about how God uses woman to show His heart to the world through their inner and outer beauty.
Great post! Parents have a huge effect on a child’s self-esteem in later life (in my opinion)…you’re doing a great job! When I was little, I adored all things disney, but was also very boyish. Today I would I am a happy medium. 🙂
She is soo precious!!! When I was little I LOVED barbies and bratz and stuff like that but I hated wearing dresses and I didn’t like pink. Now I’m the complete opposite!!
I have an 8 year old daughter and I personally think you just have to “go with it!” Wanting a Barbie is like eating junk food. Do I want my daughter to scarf down the pizza, chips and cake at the bday party? Well, no. But, it is just part of living in the real world. While Barbies and what they symbolize may not reflect your values, she will be looking to you and you alone for how she sees herself as a woman. Just act like playing with a barbie is no big deal and continue talking about how you value yourself as a person, which I am sure you are. and the barbie will be a mere blip in the radar. Also, fyi…I am a complete tomboy and my daughter at 3 a complete girly girl and now she won’t even consider putting on a dress. So, a lot of it is developemental. She is gorgeous by the way!
Try as you might, they will be exposed to it all. We never had toy guns in the house when we were little, but when he was 2, my brother took my Barbies, spread the legs and made a gun. Girls will be girls, and boys will be boys. M is a happy, beautiful, well adjusted little girly girl, let her rock it! It’s wonderful that you are letting M just be M. She’s going to be a happier person in the future because of it. I honestly believe letting the chips fall is better than trying to force a mold or other notion on a child
If the girl loves Barbie, you kind of just have to go with it. =) Some little girls like trucks, and that’s OK too. I suppose that I could blame my body image issues on playing with Barbies when I was younger, but I think my body image issues were a lot more complicated than that. I grew up around a Mother who was constantly dieting and saying that she was “fat” (she never actually was “fat” in my opinion). This led to my sister and I being overly concerned about our bodies and weight, which led to years of trying every diet in the book. For me, this led to bulimia at 15 (treatment/recovery at 29), and my mother and sister still travel on the diet bandwagon.
I don’t think that playing with Barbies or having an affinity for the color pink alone are going to cause any little girl body image issues. As long as you are building a strong foundation of love and self-respect with your girl, teaching her that she is worth so much more than her appearance, and that she is a kind, loving, and wonderful little girl, You should be OK. =)
Love your comment and thoughts! 🙂
What a cute picture of Makenzie! I’m such a sucker for the tutu.
Eh, I had barbies, tiaras, and play make-up when I was a kid. I think I turned out relatively ok 🙂
At my wedding, my dad even told a story about how proud he was the first time he came to one of my cross-country meets. I came running up aftert the race covered in mud and a big smile. He never thought his girly-girl would do something like that. Like everything else, it’s all about balance.
Thanks for the mention, Tina. 🙂 Yes, these are things I think about too. I was the odd duck asking people to please not focus all their comments about my baby girl on how she looked. Yes, she’s cute. And she’s strong, smart, kind… Then she was gifted a Disney princess storybook, and I wanted to get rid of it. It seemed to be all about girls being rescued by princes. Blech. Not how I want my daughter to approach life. My husband talked me into keeping the book, which our daughter loved, and said he didn’t think it would influence her as much as I feared. She has gone through phases of wearing dresses everyday. She plays with Barbies, baby dolls, My Little Pony and Polly Pocket. She also plays with legos, art supplies, balls, cars, acorns, mud balls… She climbs trees and conducts super hero training. I hope that more than the toys she plays with, the values she learns from her family will influence her as she grows up. I hope she always knows how important she is and remembers to treat herself and others with kindness and respect.
I love your attitude. You have to let her be who she wants, even if it makes you cringe a little on the inside. 🙂
Unless she wants to be goth as a teen. Now that’s just nasty. 🙂