what would you tell yourself 10 years ago?

Posted: August 23, 2010 at 5:11 pm

Thank you all for the birthday wishes! You really know how to make a gal feel loved. 🙂 I’m going to save more of a recap of my birthday along with my special eats for tomorrow morning’s post. I have a delicious quinoa concoction and frozen yogurt visit to share. I also have the BEST blog gift to tell you about. I frickin’ love my husband!! Tonight, however, I feel like doing a bit of reflecting. On the radio the other day, the hosts had people call in to share what 3 things they would tell themselves 10 years ago. Boy do I have some things I would tell myself!

The perfect man will come along. Don’t waste so much energy fretting over that 8 year on-again-off-again relationship.

flahbackbad1 tina1web

I cannot believe how much drama occupied my love life for so long. I can only describe the intensity of it as unhealthy. We basically acted like addicts of each other and I never thought things could be different than the up/down/high/low I experienced with the ex. I would have saved myself a lot of strife knowing someone so loving, caring, and devoted would come into my life. And help me see a better version of myself.

My dad is who he is and I am who I am. I don’t need to try to change him or depend on him for self-fulfillment.


It’s no secret that my dad and I have clashed in the past and was much of what led to my depression, and also my binging past. We get along much better now and much of it relates to the understanding that I can’t try to win him over. I just have to be me and accept him for who he is. Forgiveness goes a long way.

Begin a blog sooner! I love love love love love love love blogging! I wish I had heard about it sooner and gotten involved sooner. Perhaps I would have had a healthier relationship with food sooner and even more amazing friends through blogging. I cannot get enough of this community. And psst…check out www.healthylivingblogs.com to join a new site devoted to fabulous blogs!

Healthy Living Blogs

Sex doesn’t make you beautiful or worthy. My senior year of college was quite the promiscuous one. If there is one thing in life I could say I regret, it would be this. I struggled a lot with my image and a need to be cared for. In the end, it just left me feeling used and abused.

Don’t be afraid to go back to church. By choosing to return to such a welcoming church full of God’s love, I never felt judged. Others embraced me with open arms and uplifted me in many ways. They motivated me to grow more and gave me the type of relationships I always longed for. I will forever be grateful to my church friends and family for bringing me to a happier place in life than I ever imagined possible.


As much as I know these lessons would have been helpful I can’t say I would change anything about my experiences. I learned about love and the qualities I truly needed in a man through that ridiculous relationship growing up. I went through huge trials with the depression and binging but came out a stronger person with a story to share and a way to relate to others. I more fully value my faith now that I had to grow back into it. And so much more learned through every moment. I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.

  • What’s something you wish you could tell yourself 10 years ago? I know you all got some after reading some of your crazy bday stories. 😉
  • Any guesses on my special present? 😀

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61 Comments to “what would you tell yourself 10 years ago?”
  1. Michelle says:

    Happy birthday! If I could tell myself anything 10 years ago it would have been … to talk to my parents more 🙂

  2. Mandy says:

    Happy Birthday Sweetie!! Love you!

  3. Camille says:

    10 years ago I was quite young (10, going on 11 to be exact) but I still wish I had known some things then that I knew now. When I was 10, my plan was to go to Harvard, be valedictorian, and become a lawyer. I was incredibly driven and accepted only perfection in everything I did. Now I am much more laid back. I don’t particularly care if I get As in school, I know I wont be valedictorian and I plan to get a Nutrition degree and see where it takes me.
    If I could have told myself 10 years ago to stop being so hard on myself and allow for mistakes, I might have had a happier time while growing up.
    On the other hand, everything I learned along the way has made me so much stronger as a person and I wouldn’t trade any of my mistakes for the world.

  4. I’m telling you….we are on the same brain wave. It’s scary! I’ve been working on a post about my fitness history which will go up later tonight. I actually mention 2 time moments I wish I could return to. Some days (many days) If I could go back in time, it would be to all those moments when I was a teenager and looking in the mirror hating myself. It’s heartbreaking now to remember how hard I was on myself.

    I’m SUPER excited for your self-love event next month!

  5. Lee says:

    I would tell myself that I was worth more than I thought and I could do better than hooking up with random guys.

    Okay, that might have been TMI but it’s true.

    • Tina says:

      Not TMI. I’ve been there too and its always nice knowing others can relate. We can wonder “what was I thinking?” together. 😉

  6. I would tell myself that even if I don’t have “everything figured out” (aka job, spouse, kids, house, etc) that it is OK! There are no deadlines for getting that stuff in order, or for getting that stuff at all!

    There is no need to go rushing around, and that there is plenty of time to do things.

  7. Gosh where to begin…I think I would like to go further back than 10 years. I definitely found someone that help me see that I am a good person even through all the things I thought were flaws (they aren’t, they are what makes me…me). That not all men are horrible and leave you. Do we ever really get over self esteem issues? I would like to think that I now like me the way I am and that change happens no matter what…we just have to change with it.

    I am so glad you had a great birthday! Thank you for sharing yourself!

  8. 10 years ago I was only 15, so I don’t really know what I would tell my 15 year old self. I probably would have kept playing the piano and not quit after all those years of hard work. Happy belated birthday!

  9. Penny Lane says:

    Thet things that I would tell myself was to stop worrying about the future, that it will happen on its own, stop resisting the career choice, because it is the one for you, and stop resisting friendship and the love others are willing to give you. I guess I was quite stubborn, actually still am, (ha ha) but I would never change the journey that I have taken.

  10. Ten years ago I was 15–eek. I would have told myself to not grow up so fast. Enjoy being young.

    I agree with you about the dad–and not being afraid to go back to church hit home. I have gained so much Faith and my relationship with Him is stronger, but honestly, I’m nervous about church for some reason.

  11. Can’t wait to find out what the special present is!!!

    I would tell myself that it’s wise to listen to my heart and trust my gut. I made too many poor decisions because it’s what someone else thought was best for me, when I should have just listened to myself.

  12. Great post, birthday girl! Very honest and beautiful 🙂

    I wish I would have told myself to stop believe in myself a little bit more & to recognize my potential. Don’t I sound like a parent?!

    Can’t wait to hear what the gift is!

  13. Mark says:

    Hi Tina,

    I recently found your blog and thought I say hi. So… hi 🙂

    I think the one thing I would have needed to hear from someone I could trust (me!) is to be fearless in pursuing my goals. Worrying about what others think of you and whether they believe in you, will only hold you to the standard that they set for their own lives.

    I’d probably throw in some future lottery numbers too :p

    • Tina says:

      Hahaha! I love the last answer. I should have thought of that. 😀

      I think what you said about pursuing goals without worrying about others is dead on. Why do we care so much and let it keep us from our dreams? I know I can relate! And thanks so much for saying hi. I love connecting with other bloggers and readers. Have a great night!

  14. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE! you deserve all the happiness! 🙂

  15. Ela says:

    Happy Birthday!

    The twin boys who are staying with us atm had their birthday yesterday too! Hope you had a gorgeous, loved day.

    Great question about ten years ago!
    I think I’d have told myself that I’d still be alive and that it is, on balance, worth sticking around for, and that I should have started learning to love myself sooner.


  16. I would have told myself the SAME THING about waiting for the right man to come along. I had a lot of heartache over some of the most INSIGNIFICANT men and now I laugh wondering what I ever saw in them in the first place. In the end I was blessed with the most wonderful, kind-hearted, selfless man who is a spiritual leader in our home and who truly brings out the BEST IN ME! Gosh, I sure wasted a lot of tears on ” the rest of them” Pftt!

    I would also tell myself to always make healthy, clean eating a priority and also to change my major because I’m not using any of my degrees! HA! what a waste!

    • Tina says:

      I relate to the changing the major thing! I would have done something with fitness or nutrition instead, no doubt!

  17. Kimberly says:


    Wow, what a traumatic experience with little M. I almost lost my daughter at 8 days old, so I can relate to how scary that must have been. I don’t think I put my baby down for DAYS!! Love the butt pic though. I know this was on your other post–just catchin’ up.

    Hope you had the BEST day EVER 😉

  18. I totally would have told myself not to take a job for money – I wish I could go back and shake the old me! I can’t wait to hear what the surprise present was. something for blogging perhaps???? Or workout dvds? Insanity??

  19. Your experiences are what make you who you are. 🙂

    I would have told myself to rest assured…you will lead a great life in the future!

  20. Sweet blog 🙂 And guess what?! We share August B-Days! Mine’s tomorrow!

  21. Wow– great question. I think I would have told myself to have more faith and security in myself– my TRUE self. I was really self-conscious for a long time, and I definitely wasted too much time caring about what other people thought of me.

    And I totally would have started a blog sooner too, ha!

  22. Stacy says:

    Happy belated birthday! 🙂
    I would tell myself to relax more and not sweat the small stuff (and even some of the bigger stuff, too)!

    • Tina says:

      I still have to tell myself those things. LOL I can get wound up easily if I don’t make a conscious effort to let some things go.

  23. homecookedem says:

    Hope you’ve had a wonderful birthday!! 🙂

    I would have told myself 10 years ago that there is more to life than just outward appearances. To focus more on the inside and being confident. That is what true beauty is.

  24. Katie H. says:

    Happy birthday girl! I love your reflections. Your family is so adorable! I would tell myself to break up with the sorry guy I was dating when I left for college and wasted a lot of my freshman year with, among other things 😀

  25. Moving post.

    I would tell the girl I was ten years ago to stop worrying so much, to take it easier on herself. To just enjoy and embrace life and maybe work a little less hard. Yes, work a little less! 🙂

  26. what wouldn’t i have told myself?! i would have said in 10 years you will love what you look like…why not start now? i wouldn’t have dated around so much, i would have gone to culinary school, and i would’ve have started blogging when i first thought about it…i could be rich now 🙂

  27. […] is the original post: FAITH, FITNESS, FUN » Blog Archive » what would you tell yourself … Click here to visit WP Robot. Click here to visit AutoBlogged. Share and Enjoy: Posted in Fun […]

  28. Happy Belated Birthday!!! I hope you had an amazing day!

    If I could go back 10 years ago, I would tell myself to not let the hurtful things my mom said affect me. My mom and I have always had a rocky relationship, and for a long time I blamed myself for her unhappiness. I wish I could go back and tell myself not to worry about it.

    Thank you again for such an inspiring post!

  29. Sandra says:

    I give you credit for being so honest. Talking about depression and the binging is very private and takes great courage to share. I’m amazed at the depth of your honesty and impressed.

    • Tina says:

      I try to always blog with honesty and openness. It’s part of me and I actually like sharing because then I get things off my chest and can be real to others. Everyone has their different comfort zones and should listen to them…and I guess I’ve always just been an open book! LOL

  30. Shayna says:

    Happy birthday all the way from Hawaii, Tina!!! I love your post today. I can relate to a few things about this post that I may have trouble admitting to! Your candidness is inspiring 🙂

    Ten years ago, I would have told myself that I need to slow down, relax and not dramatize EVERYTHING. I am so calm now, it’s almost sedation. Drama-free is not = boring.

  31. happy birthday!!!!!!

    “My dad is who he is and I am who I am. I don’t need to try to change him or depend on him for self-fulfillment.”–that’s me and my mom. and then some. ill spare you the details.. 10 yrs ago , today, it’s still a work in progress for me to learn this lesson.

    sex. we’ve all been there girl. i wouldnt change my past b/c it’s all part of helping me today. and will help me raise a stronger, more confident daughter 🙂

  32. I would tell myself that I was beautiful just the way I am. I struggled so much with low self esteem as a teenager and it affected my friendships – I had no boyfriends etc as I didn’t feel I was good enough when I was. I wish I could go back and say to myself ‘you are beautiful, you are young, you are desirable – go and enjoy yourself!’

  33. I wish I would have been the strong, confident woman I am today ten years ago.

    I was very lucky to find a loving relationship already at 17 and then at 19 again. I did have some ehm.. crazier times in between those relationships (I feel you on the sex-issue!) but in the end I had some wonderful times. The only thing I wish I had know, is that you should never settle for something which is not 100% for you, even though my previous ex was a kind, loving man I stopped loving him and stayed in the relationship too long, long enough to hurt him very badly and I wish I had known that being alone is not the end of the world and that I will find THE man who will be everything I always wanted.

  34. I love this, Tina! Beautifully written.

    Ten years ago, I was a freshman in HS (wow, its been ten years…) and I would have told myself… HS IS NOT THE REAL WORLD. I spent so much time in those years feeling like a failure because I wasnt popular or didn´t have dates to the dances. But I was smart, funny, and awesome, and I wish I had embraced that at 14. I hope to really instill these values and recognition of what does and does NOT matter in my daughter someday.

    • Tina says:

      I definitely hope to do the same for M. I want her to see her worth from day 1. Love her and she needs to love herself that way too. it’s going to hurt so bad when she aches and thinks she isn’t ___ enough. I know it will happen too eventually.

  35. happy birthday!!!!!! hope you have an awesome day! enjoy a piece of cake for me 🙂

    10 years ago….yikes. i think i would’ve said stop wasting time on this career you don’t even want and go after what you DO want! it’s so easy to settle for safe, but it’s so much better to chase your dreams. (did that sound really cheesy? i think it did 🙂 )

  36. I am slightly obsessed with how you really put it all out there. Thanks for sharing! The one that struck me the most is the ‘returning to church’ one – it’s on my short list but I have been afraid… the church in my hometown was none to kind to my family when they divorced and i’ve been holding that as a reason to not go and am trying to let it go!

    Anywho, 10 year ago… WOW, I was 18. I would have told myself to leave town quicker (as a freshman), stay away from the boy I was dating at the time, hold your friends as close as possible and don’t be scared of distances, and that your family is amazing – treat them that way.

  37. I love this idea! It’s a bit early for me and I’m only a couple of sips into my morning coffee, so I’m struggling to think of good ones… but I would definitely have told myself to savor every moment of college. Even the dining hall! (Hello, meals made for you, dishes cleaned and a soft serve machine!!!!)
    Happy birthday 🙂 I really want to know what your husband got you!

  38. Thank you for opening up Tina! Boy oh boy, I relate to so many of the men issues and daddy issues you brought up. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m better now with men now that I’m older, although I’m beginning to think that my current relationship isn’t enough. It’s like we’re friends…sometimes not even. Sorry to off topic. Anyway, thank you so much for this post!

    • Tina says:

      Not off topic and I’m glad you felt okay to share. 🙂 I will say that my husband & I are best friends and that played a big role in why I married him, but I also knew that I loved him and there was more than just a friendly connection. Always listen to your gut.

  39. Happy Birthday! I definitely agree with all of this. Especially the one about boys. When I met hubby, things definitely just fell into place. I wish I would’ve known to be patient and not try to push things 🙂

  40. Nichole says:

    What an outstanding post. Kudos for you, you put yourself out there and there are dozens of other women relating to this.

    I loved how you said it’s OK to go back to the church, I know when we are in college, etc. there are other things going on. It’s amazing how grounded faith can make you.

  41. Happy birthday!! I’d tell myself to pay more attention to my body. I’d smack myself silly until I cared for my only minorly aching knees. And then I’d hope doing this would prevent the chronic pain I’m dealing with today.

  42. 10 years ago I would’ve told myself that I’m beautiful, even if I was overweight.

  43. It takes a lot of courage to look back over your life with as much honesty as you have! Congratulations on finding peace and happiness again.
    What have I learned in the past 10 years … learning to love and laugh at myself despite my flaws. I recently wrote a blog article called, “Celebrating 50”. Hope you’ll check it out at:

  44. Great post. Don’t sweat the small stuff! If i had known how much the details 10 years ago didn’t matter and to just focus on the big picture and having fun and loving life, I would have saved myself a lot of grief!

  45. I’ll go with nurture friendships because you’ll regret losing touch!

  46. janetha says:

    AWESOME post, what a great concept. i would be with you on the wasted years on an on again, off again ex! so glad that is now OFF and i am happily married.

    excited to hear the special blog thing. no clue.


  47. Megan says:

    Thank You!!!! Your post came at the exact right time in my life. I was just dicussing a pretty messy relationship issue with my mom yesterday. I just needed to hear another person say, “it will be ok, don’t stress over someone loving you, it will happen” Thank you, you have no idea how much that meant

    • Tina says:

      I’m glad it helped you out reading it. I just share what’s on my heart and hearing that it affects someone else positively always feels so unexpected – and amazing! I’m sure you have plenty of people who care for you…no need to depend on that one particular person. You’re worthy even without their affection…and they don’t even know what they’re missing. 😉

  48. […] journey back to fitness! Powered by WP Greet Box WordPress PluginI don’t regret my ridiculous eight year on and off again relationship with the ex. They taught me exactly what I wanted and needed in a man. I don’t regret the years of emotional […]

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