I feel fat.

I hate that phrase. I despise it even more when it’s crossing my lips and my thoughts. And I downright loathe it when it happens for an entire day before I even recognize it and have the chance to shake myself from the mindset.

Yesterday I had what many would coin a “fat day”. I had an enjoyable weekend – a shower celebrating a much awaited pregnancy/baby for a dear friend and a couple of relaxing nights with my husband. My enjoyable weekend also included quite a few gems like these…

Peanut Butter Graham Truffles. Cupcakes. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Dip. Baby shower food. Handfuls of chocolate chips. Unpictured DQ Blizzard.

This is not extremely out of the norm. I readily indulge in a few extra treats practically every weekend. Sometimes, I have extra because of more social events or a surge of cravings. Well, I had a surge of cravings this weekend and rode that sugar wave until I came crashing down Monday morning. It wouldn’t surprise me if that caused the bad headache I suffered all day yesterday.

The headache that, coupled with sore legs, truly debilitated me and left me with an unplanned rest day. That unplanned rest day sent me from my typical “wow-I-ate-a-lot-of-sugar-this-weekend-but-oh-well-it-was-tasty” attitude to an '”ugh-i-feel-fat-i-should-not-have-eaten-xyx” depressing mode. Silly, I know. And it took me all day to realize I had such defeating thoughts going through my head.

As I have discussed before – fat is not a feeling. Something else going on typically costumes itself as the “fat feeling”. When I recognized the fat talk happening, I thought about it and quickly discovered the issues:

• I didn’t feel fat. I simply didn’t feel like myself – energetic, strong, healthy. A standard side effect to the excess sugar I partook. Just body science. NOT something to beat myself up over in the slightest.
• I didn’t feel fat. I simply felt discouraged that I couldn’t fully rest and relax like I knew my body needed…and defeated knowing I would be going the parenting alone all day despite the fatigue and achy head/body.

Once I put my finger on the true matters affecting me, both physically and mentally, I freed myself of that “fat feeling” and gained solace knowing the temporary state of my situation. Seeing my thoughts for what they were helped me to change them and move on. So now I can go about today feeling more back to myself. Fat feeling be damned.

What things trigger the “fat feeling” for you? How do you fight it?

After your interest yesterday on my Facebook page, I decided to share all about that elusive term - “happy weight”. Happy weight. It sure sounds nice, doesn’t it? But…what in the world does it even mean?!?!? Many of us would love to define our weight simply as happy, but don’t even know what that place physically looks or feels like. I can relate.

It took me years of my weight playing the yo-yo game before even remotely understanding where my body functions best. But, with time, I did eventually find my “happy weight”. I  discovered that place about 9 months after the birth of Makenzie and have found it again now.

I knew I had achieved it and it felt amazing. But how? How did I know when I reached that place? How did I know the steps to take to get there?

What IS Your Happy Weight?
In my opinion, three factors play into the definition of a person’s happy weight:

• a weight your body naturally inclines to when living a balanced lifestyle
• a weight that you can maintain relatively easily once reached
• a weight where your body functions optimally and has energy

Four Ways to Achieve Your Happy Weight 
1. Overcome Eating Issues. I truly believe you cannot manage to reach a comfortable place for your body if you constantly battle food. I spent years in a vicious binge and restrict cycle. As I discussed yesterday, I could limit myself to 1200 calories a day for days on end without ever achieving a healthy, fit body. Yet, my emotional struggles with food kept me from ever truly achieving a healthy size for myself. I did not reach my happy weight until after my personal journey to overcome binge eating.

2. Learn through trial and error what foods fuel your body best. For years, I consumed myself with food rules and could rattle off what foods someone “should” or “shouldn’t” consume when trying to lose weight. I could tell you the number of grams of protein, carbs, or fat for an “optimal” meal. I could spew off data on a variety of eating plans. Yet somehow I still had no clue how my body worked best.

It turns out eating low-carb, which I believed to be the Holy Grail of dieting, actually caused my body to revolt and hold onto weight. Through trial and error - and relieving myself of all the “cans”, “cannots”, “should eats”, and “mustn’t eats” – I finally began honoring my body and it showed its appreciation by feeling better and better. And also losing stubborn weight without a sense of deprivation.

3. Discover workouts that keep you energized. Similar to finding a method of eating that suits you, we also must search out ways to stay active that fulfill us. Not every person will love running. Not every person wants to shake it in Zumba. Choose a way to move your body that you will enjoy so you can reap the health rewards of activity without wanting to shoot yourself in the foot. It will keep you motivated to continue and your level of fitness will naturally continue to improve.

4. Don’t kill yourself. Be able to experience life and the fun things that come with it. Healthy living does not have to be difficult. There really are no top-secret files on how to make it work. Simply consume quality foods, stay reasonably active, and enjoy life. When I found a balance of 80% wholesome, nutritious foods and 20% not-as-nutritionally-sound foods, I could easily keep up with healthy choices. I didn’t have to turn down things I enjoyed and could really live life. Taking the stress off myself improved my happiness and my desire to pursue a healthy lifestyle.

The Number One Way to Stay There 
Lose the number! Many of us have a weight in our mind we believe will make us happy. It may be a weight we compare to others or one of our previous sizes. This is not a true happy weight. You can fight your body to reach the number on the scale you think you should be and I can guarantee you that you won’t really be happier. Don’t view your happy weight as a particular number. View it as a feeling. A really, really good feeling.

If you are having to workout hours a day or want to eat your arm off 24/7 to maintain the weight you are at, it likely isn’t your body’s happy weight. Your body craves balance. It is a smart machine and will fight being in an unhealthy place. If you don’t feel strong, healthy, energized, fit, and able to LIVE then you need to adjust what you think is your happy weight. Our bodies know what is best. We don’t need a scale to tell us that. Focus on how you feel and remember - strong, energetic, and healthy looks good on everyone.

• How would YOU define “happy weight”?
• What is your go-to food for great energy?