Before I get into this morning’s post, I want to say thank you for your comments and support of my Team 4All entry post last night. If you haven’t checked it out yet, I would appreciate it. I got all excited writing it – more so for the amazing things 2011 will bring than the possible opportunity in partnering up with a nice women’s fitness gear company for the year. I love my life and myself right now, where I’m at, but still look forward to the changes and growth ahead.

Although some changes and growth do stir up some fear in my gut. I think its suddenly hitting me how soon baby B will be here. Even if he goes the full 9.5 months of pregnancy, that’s only 5 weeks away. When I finished laundering up all his little baby items yesterday I sat there thinking – I will actually have one this size again before I know it.

You may think something that can fit into such adorable little things could not possibly do much harm. Oh ho ho. Okay, harm may not describe it correctly, but that little booger can ignite some worry. Here are my five biggest fears:

A rough, rough, rough, rough labor & delivery and not knowing what to expect. I had to be induced with Makenzie. My labor lasted only 5 hours. She popped out in less than 10 minutes of pushing. The labor and delivery can’t possibly go so smoothly twice. I foresee many, many hours of pain. Although I would rather go through that and a failed epidural if it meant I didn’t need to worry over the next two. Did I just jinx myself?

Breastfeeding. I adored breastfeeding Makenzie. I had only one problem feeding her – I had the more uncommon issue of producing too much with her. She always ate well and easily. Sure, it hurt and was a big adjustment for me, but we did it rather easily. I wonder if baby B will nurse as naturally. And I sure hope all the fun signs my tatas have given me means I won’t have issues with the production again.

Sleeping. Makenzie slept well from early on as well. The first month or so exhausted me with less sleep, but then she quickly got in a routine and slept 12 hours through the night by 4-5 months old. I don’t know how well I would handle a child up all night for months and months on end. Please sleep, baby B!

Post-partum depression. Depression and anxiety run in the family. I have dealt with my own in the past. Towards the end of pregnancy, the thought of facing PPD frightens me to no end. I know the desperation, yet emptiness, of depression. I know the hatred, yet lack of caring, that accompanies it. PPD is very real and can affect anyone. Will it be me this time?

There will be two! I like my routines. Makenzie & I have formed our own little routines. How will I manage to adapt mine and hers all together with baby B’s into one? How will M react to a sudden change? How will I have enough time for all things newborn and to care for and watch over a toddler? How will I not lose myself, and more likely face some form of PPD, in the process? Just, how?

Then, I just sit back and remember this scripture:

These things may be on my mind, but I can do nothing about them until the day comes. Then, I have to take each day and each moment one at a time. With each moment I will have to try to live it with love and simply do my best. I will have to trust that in God I have the power to handle whatever. I will cover the needs of my children, no matter what. I will also make certain to do things for myself (like workout and blog) to avoid losing myself and arriving in a negative place. I will cherish my relationship with my unbelievably supporting husband. I will love it all. And with love, everything will be okay.

• What is one of your special, personal things/interests that brings you joy and helps you feel like you? (Did that make any sense? LOL)

I knocked the productivity ball out of the park today. I killed my to-do list, despite it being quite the long one.

This morning I had to head to the store to pick up stamps, laundry detergent, and sweet potatoes…because don’t you know it’s impossible to get everything on your first weekly trip? I know it’s not just me. Then, I stopped by the post office to mail something for Peter.

After getting home, I got to work prepping our dinner. Makenzie loved having the chance to help out by tossing sweet potato chunks into the crockpot.

I also knockaed out two loads of laundry and dishes today. Plus, a ton of prep work for the tutoring I did earlier this afternoon. Most importantly, I still managed to fit in moments for myself and those quality moments with little M. During her nap I relaxed with my usual blog reading…and discovered the coffee + hot chocolate mix does NOT suit me. Blech. I was so shocked! Not quite as shocked as what I found when I went upstairs because I could hear little footsteps roaming around.

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At least she sneaks from her nap to read books like her children’s Bible. Although I’m not quite sure on the shedding of the pants? Whatever floats her boat I guess.

But does stripping put you on Santa’s naughty list? I should ask. We’re buddies. I even got him to make a special video message for M.

Click on the image above and check it out (especially any moms who do Santa). It’s SO cute! Look at how excited M was when watching.

I can’t believe how much she is growing. And how cool would it have been to have things like that growing up?

Lastly, I had my 34 weeks (8.5 months) prenatal visit today. I made sure to share once again about all the discomfort, pressure, contractions, etc I have increasingly felt. The midwife I saw today didn’t share the same affinity for the dramatic as the last one I saw. She says to keep doing what I’m doing – resting more, drinking extra fluids when they start, and not to worry. She also told me my belly growth jumped and I am now measuring a week ahead. It sure feels like it!

And I’m all for him making his appearance sometime early January. It can’t get here soon enough!

• Do you enjoy busy and productive days? I think it helped distract me and made for a great day for me!