Last night we went to an “Around the House” shower for my friend. She is getting married at the end of September and I’m very happy for her. It’s funny because we always expected her to be the first of us to get married. She was always the girl that wanted to be married so badly and I was the girl claiming I would never ever ever do so. Interesting how life works out, huh? And I gotta say I’m happy my plans don’t always go as expected since it tends to lead toward greater things. I adore my life now!

Upon arriving to the shower, I got a quick moment to say hello to my friend.

There was some strained feeling conversation. I admit that part of it could be mental on my part because I wanted to share my good news with her but didn’t want to do so on her special night. But I also was a little disappointed because she knew I would have tested by then and that I had called her a couple times during the week, yet she didn’t even ask. I basically got a brief hello and all the details of getting her makeup done before she flitted off to talk to other guests. I also felt like she was avoiding me the rest of the night because every time I went up to her she walked off immediately.

I’m not too upset about that because I know part of the responsibility as guest of honor is to visit everyone. And there were a lot of people at the shower…many of which I did not know. I know my friend’s family well, but it was so crowded I didn’t even get to be around them much. Normally I would mingle and make new friends, but we had Makenzie with us and had to keep an eye on her the entire time. We are used to attending kid friendly functions and there was nothing on the invite to let us know this would not be a kid friendly place. Makenzie tried to entertain everyone and was still welcomed though.

And there were some yummy snacks to keep me happy. Guacamole, raw veggies, and pita chips (unpictured) are a girl’s best friend when the remainder of the food is very subpar.

We left after only a couple of hours. I was getting tired, Makenzie was starting to act up, we were bored with all the cliques, and I still felt a little hurt by my friend’s cold shoulder. I might be over reacting, but I’m a little surprised she didn’t think to ask when I told her a week ago I would be calling to let her know the results. Also surprising since she has no problem pointing out how hard it must be for me to be heavier (while being sure to sneak in her weight) and wondering how pregnant I will be for her wedding….because after all “she picked the bridesmaids dresses specifically because I was supposed to be pregnant” (something she said not even 2 weeks ago). And it might also be in light of the many questions, supportive comments, and emails from others that I received over the course of the week. Wouldn’t my supposed best friend be more on top of the game?

Okay I’m finished. I don’t like being negative so let’s talk about today. Today was another day of festivity. It has just been a party kind of weekend. This party was more up our alley though. It was our friends’ daughter’s 2nd Birthday. Elmo, a bunch of tots, balloons, and friends from church can make a great party. Trust me.

The atmosphere was much more laid back, we were surrounded by quite a few friends and even the people we didn’t know well were so nice to talk to. The excitement and laughter from the kids just overflows to put smiles on every face in the room and makes for an all around fun afternoon. It's nice to feel like you are a valued friend and that your company is appreciated, but I digress. I think that is almost as negative as you’ve ever heard me get on my blog. I don’t like it. I will say though it helps to vent frustrations. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and just recognize some of those actions are just part of who she is and I have to accept that. I also need to consider her perspective of maybe she sensed I had news to share, but didn't want it on her party night, which I understand. So I feel better and am actively going to move on now.

• Are there things you face with any of your friends that can drive you crazy? How do you deal with it? I try to focus on the positive aspects of the friendship, trust there are reasons behind the person’s actions, and just move on. Sometimes it’s hard when you’re hormonal more strongly emotionally invested in what is going on, but I believe you have to trust someone who has been a friend for so long.
• What is something you never foresaw yourself doing, but couldn’t imagine your life without that part of you now? Marriage! And then having a kid not even 2 years into it. The saying “when you know, you know” definitely applies to both of those. I just knew it was right, trusted it, and won’t ever look back.

I had to do this post so I could say a HUGE thank you to all of you for your support from yesterdays' revealing postabout part of my past. I always strive to be real, open, and honest about myself and my thoughts. I know I have come a long way and tend to be a very positive person, but I think it is only reasonable to show that it can be hard for me too. And my life has not always been rainbows, butterflies, and fairies. We each have the choice to do something about our lives and to have the faith that things will be okay. I can without a doubt say that getting back my faith is what helped turn all of that around.

And I also want to say that I love my father very dearly now.

at my wedding...about a year after beginning to mend our relationship

Our relationship has changed tremendously through lots of hard work and talking. And therapy, especially on his part, to battle the severe depression, anxiety, and anger issues that are prevalent in his family. Things, I too, am very aware of for myself and have to consistently pray and be cautious about to keep myself from slipping. I also want to say I am so thankful to God for how much he has helped my dad. He is absolutely amazing with Makenzie and I am so thankful things got sorted out before him interacting with her. She brings out the best in him. And although it can be disheartening at times to know I missed out on that when I was younger, I love him for the joy he brings her and that he is part of her life.

My Dad with Miss M

I didn't want to just tack this on to my other post today, since I feel my dad does deserve credit for the wonderful man and father he has become. Thank you for reading.