I hope you all had fabulous weekends! If you need to play catch up you can visit the posts below. 🙂 And did you know that we only have 10 more days of this month left? Wow!

• Love Others to Love Yourself More
• Stop Fat Talk Now!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please don’t take what I’m about to say in a depressing manner. We only have one shot at life. One. Then we die and can no longer be a part of this world.

That is the cold, hard truth. We like to pretend we can avoid it or that second chances abound. When it boils down to it, though, they don’t. Second chances don’t truly exist because we can never go back to reclaim any lost time or change the past. We can only strive to make the best decisions from this moment forward.

How exactly does this fit in with self love? Well, if we want to live the most fulfilling and satisfied lives as possible we need to love ourselves. We can waste our lives away with worry, regret, doubt, and negativity. We can spend too much time concerned with trivial matters of what size pants we wear or what other people think of our hopes and dreams. Instead of taking the reins and making life the best possible, we float along lost and broken.

Each day we choose what to focus our energy on – relationships that mean the most to us, how we look in the mirror, working hard at a personal goal, the fight we had with a friend, and on and on. We decide whether to end our days feeling like we experienced life or like it slipped by. I always try to keep the perspective that at the end of my life I won’t care about how flat my stomach was or awards I received. I will care if I lived with joy and surrounded myself with love.

[source]

Fortunately, I don’t know when the end of my life will come. And that means I have to start making my life something I’m happy with right now. Why waste a single moment? We need to keep what truly provides a fulfilling life in perspective. Live that way today.

What can you focus on today so you end your day knowing you cultivated your best life? What should you ignore that tries to rob you of joy? I will focus on spending time with my family. I will ignore the frustration and doubt I initially felt this morning when I did my weekly check-up on some blog related stuff. It doesn’t matter and its one week.

Today I want to emphasize exactly how I feel about today’s topic. STOP. IT. NOW!!!! Stop what? Putting yourself down or “fat talk” as this dialogue has recently been coined. Caitlin discusses it in her Operation Beautiful book at greater length, and while I am not going back and referencing it specifically this morning, some of what I share while writing is likely impacted by that book. If you haven’t read it, you must!

[source]

We all know about fat talk. Even if you have never heard the term, you have experienced it. It lies in that inner dialogue of self-doubt that puts down our image and denies us of our true beauty. I actually like to think of it as “self-doubt talk” because I believe it plays in more than physical appearance. It comes when we commiserate with other women about how “this dress makes me look fat” or “gosh, I’m so stupid to think the boss would like my idea”. Maybe it even hides behind those times we refuse to accept compliments.

Just like Caitlin, I don’t even begin to think we can fully stop such negative thoughts. They will always find a way to creep back in. We need to become more aware of them and work hard to stop them in their tracks. I have more confidence than ever in who I am, my ability to care for myself, that I have much to offer others, and that I am in fact beautiful. I still face fat talk more often than I care to admit. Maybe even to the likes of once a day. The difference is I can stop it in its tracks.

Yesterday for example, while out to eat I went to the restroom which had (for some reason) a set up with numerous mirrors. When standing to pull up my pants, I look in front of me and bam there’s a reflection of my behind. Dun dun dun. Enter fat talk in its evil combat suit.

[source]

“You worked sooo hard to get that thing in shape and now its just gotten lumpy pancake disease again. It will never look nice.” “You’ve been eating so TERRIBLE. You won’t be able to lose the weight.” “And just look at how you’re dressed! You don’t fit in here!”   …shake head in realization…

[source]

What are some steps I take to stop the “self-doubt” talk when it begins?

• Remember those gifts of the body. Remember how the part you criticize works for you. I am not in the best shape right now because I am carrying a child! It would be a sad situation if I was because then I wouldn’t be providing for my baby first.
• Replace with a positive. My butt may not be looking too pretty, but it will again. And my legs are still in pretty dang good shape. So there! (I think I actually stuck my tongue out to the mirror at this point…I don’t make these things up)
• Be realistic. I’m not eating TERRIBLE. I know it’s not my best, but its not terrible. Heck! The dinner awaiting  me outside that restroom was hummus, veggies, pita, and one all meat crab cake! The birthday cake I ate earlier? Naturally sweetened apple cake made from scratch by my sister in law. Yea. Soooo TERRIBLE!
• Reaffirm yourself. Think outside the physical quality or whatever you are tearing down and consider your strengths. I know I will have the drive to care for my health and get back to a comfortable and healthy place for me after this baby. I did it once and I will do it again. I know that.
• Tell someone who you trust will support you and not turn it into a game of “who has it worse”. After recognizing these thoughts, I later shared them with Peter. He reminded me of the advice I give to others and bluntly told me to take it myself. Touche my man. Touche. It snapped me out of it.

[source]

One last thing – be aware of when others participate in fat talk. Don’t allow them to! It makes it easier for you to participate as well. As women, we should be lifting each other up instead of standing by while we tear our own selves apart. Simply say “Stop. You’re smarter than to put yourself down like that”. I think this works best because you’re not handing out a compliment to reaffirm the behavior. Also, you’re still showing you think highly of the person and want what is best for them.

This post has gone on long enough! What do you do to stop fat talk? From yourself or from others?

[source]

Check out the blogs below for their own personal posts about the 30 DSLR.

• Life Is Better Than Fiction
• Ulterior Harmony
• Eat Feats
• A Fit and Spicy Life